Title: Watch
Author: isumi'kivic'
Pairings: AthrunKiraAthrun, hints of ShinnCagalli.
Warning: This fic contains shounen-ai or yaoi or slash or BL. You've been warned. Read at your own risk. Definite OOC-ness and… bad grammar. My English really is getting worse..
Disclaimer: Lenore Zala belonged to Patrick Zala, I think. And Athrun and Kira belonged to each other. And they are all—together with Gundam SEED and SEED Destiny—are owned by Sunrise and Bandai and the genius Hisashi Hirai. I don't own anything except the idea and plot of this fic, nor I am making money from this fic. Honestly, I'm hoping that someday, Sunrise would be very, very kind to me and allow me to wrap Athrun and Kira to be taken back home with me..
A/N: A Valentine's Day fic for Minna-san! I'm supposed to be working in my multi-chaptered AsuKira fic, but I figured that it wouldn't hurt to make an AsuKira fic for Val's Day, especially because this February 13 is my seventeenth birthday, and I'm thinking about spreading AsuKira's love! NYA!
Hoi hoi.. anyways, this fic is supposed to take place before and after my 'An Endless Tale' fic. Dedicated to my incredible friend Jusrecht-chan. Jusrecht-chan, you're so going to kill me if you don't update your Crossfire and Finding soon.. –sobs- I'm such a whiner, ne? But really, please update them.. cause I'm dying of waiting..
Enjoy, Minna-san! Happy Val's Day, and to every D'AVES tribe, Happy 5th Anniversary!
WatchLenore Zala watched.
She always watched over her beloved son, Athrun Zala.
She was always watching him—every step, every move, every decision he had made— because a mother would always watch her child.
She had watched him carefully since he was a baby. She still remembered perfectly the chubby cheeks of her son, his cries that awakened her almost every night, his wide grin and funny laugh, his incredible emerald eyes that would always gleam if he saw her, his cheerful tone trying to say "Mama,"—Lenore remembered everything. Athrun grew up under her care, under her hands, under her watch.
She could remember perfectly the first time Athrun managed to walk, and how he had tripped over and cried endlessly. She could remember the times Athrun played and laughed and smiled—a childish smile Lenore would always miss later. Her baby boy grew up slowly but sure, in a way she wanted him to be: a gentle, firm, discipline, yet soft hearted boy.
She had kept on watching him when he finally went to school and slowly slipped off her hands, something she had always known would happen sooner or later. But not yet, not now. Her Athrun would still come home, cheerful as usual, and start telling her every single moment he had passed without his mother by his side. Lenore would listen at each stories he told her—classes, homework, his projects, teachers, friends, interesting things he found, Kira, Kira, Kira. And Lenore would laugh, and ask him to bring Kira over so they could play together and Lenore would be able to know him better—which in the end, she didn't only become Kira's favorite 'aunt', but also befriended Kira's mother, Caridad.
She could never forget how sad Athrun was when they had to move to PLANT. He was really, really sad because he would leave Kira, and because "But Mother, I don't want Kira to forget me!" So she told him that maybe, he could give something, something special, to Kira, so Kira wouldn't forget him and someday, when they meet again, they would be able to recognize each other. Then, she watched her azure haired son did his best making the best project he had—and would—ever did: a mechanical bird, which later, on the day they left, Athrun gave to Kira.
Lenore never imagined that the mechanical bird would be the strongest symbol of the boys' relationship forever.
When her husband sent her son to a military academy, Lenore still watched him. She knew everything about her son, not only because she managed to keep in touch with one of his teachers, but also because Athrun sent her numerous letters, telling her everything—his dormitory life, classes and homework, his new friends, his projects, his study, Kira, Kira, Kira. In every letter, Athrun always mentioned that "I miss Kira as much as I miss you, Mother,"
And Lenore would smile, and wrote back to him, "Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm sure Kira miss you as much as I miss you,"
Even after that fateful February 14, Lenore still watched her son carefully. It was the only thing that she could do, and it was a thing that only she could do. So, she watched her son joined ZAFT and entered the world of war. She was disappointed at her husband, really, she could never understand the path he had chosen.
When Athrun and Kira finally—after such a long time—faced each other as enemies, she sighed, and mentally asked why must Fate be so cruel to her son. But Fate answered that her son would create an answer for himself, and that Fate was only guiding him. Athrun was going to create his own destiny, with his own choice.
So, Lenore could only watch. She watched her son suffered through each battle, fighting his very own best friend—even though he desperately didn't want to. Every single time Lenore saw the two boys collided and attacked each other, she wanted to close her eyes—because it was painful, painful to see the anguish reflected in both boys' eyes. But she knew she had to watch every second that passed, and she forced her eyes to open.
She didn't like the sight of her son suffering. Athrun knew how to mask his feelings, and she knew that if he continued to live like that, soon, pretty soon, he would break. And she wouldn't be able to be there to pick up the pieces as mothers always did for their children. That was why.. she was worried. She was afraid.
When her son finally broke down, she wept in relieved and sadness. She couldn't stand the clear pain and agony in Athrun's gleaming emerald orbs as the azure haired teenager shouted at the golden haired girl—which Lenore knew named Cagalli—about why he had killed his own best friend. Oh, Lenore desperately wanted to drew her son in her embrace, to comfort him and told him that no, he didn't kill Kira, Kira was still alive and safe, and he still had chances to make everything right again, and yes, he had made a terrible mistake, but everything would be alright because he would be able to apologize, and no, Kira would never hate him for that.
But she couldn't. She couldn't do anything, so she simply watched, tears streaming down on her cheeks, as Time went on and on, healing wounds and eventually, clamed down her worries.
She had watched, too, when Athrun finally made his choice to stay and fought alongside Kira—a choice that made Lenore would always be proud of him—despite betraying his father. Lenore knew that her husband was wrong—and she never understood the hatred and loath he harbored upon the Naturals anyway—but still, she never felt so miserable in her life—and in her afterlife—when she watched Athrun confronted his own father, only to see her husband—a man that she loved so, very much—shot her son—and also his son—without hesitation.
She was so, so worried and scared. And disappointed, yes. Very much. But she was glad that Athrun could ran away safely, thanks to Lacus. She chuckled when she remembered that Lacus and Athrun was once engaged. She wondered whether Athrun would let Kira and Lacus together, because apparently, Athrun cared a lot about Cagalli.
But, truthfully, Lenore was completely wasn't sure about this. She had seen how much Athrun cared deeply about Cagalli, but she still doubted that her son was truly in love with the girl. Well, she was surprised knowing Kira and Cagalli were twins, really, so she asked Fate what was it that Fate planning. But Fate smiled again, and told her that all she need to do was watch.
Just watch.
Lenore noticed, though, that, gradually, the slight gleam of happiness and contentment made its way back to her son's emerald eyes. She was relieved.
Then, Lenore settled down. The war soon came to an end, and she had watched everything—this time together with Siegell Clyne and Uzumi Nala Athha—and yes, she had cried when her husband died, but she was glad it was over. Sure, the peace that come was fragile, but at least, she thought that everything would be alright.
She smiled as she continued to watch, and realized that her baby boy had matured so much. The first war matured him in every way. And, she was proud of his son—of his decisions and risks he had been willing to take upon his betrayal. Sure, Lenore thought that the war had caused Athrun matured fast, too fast for her liking. But now, because everything was okay, her son would have a chance to have a happiness he deserved.
Or so she thought.
But everything had changed. She could see the pain left by the war—the unspoken feelings, the confusion upon seeking the right answer, the helplessness of not being able to do more for an atonement—and she didn't like it at all. Worse, she couldn't help him. She could only stare as he smiled at everyone, with a hint of sadness and pain, hidden beneath his ever gleaming eyes.
Once again, she felt worried. Somehow, somehow, she felt that something terrible would happen soon.
And then, after two years of peace, the war broke again. For the second time.
Again, she watched. She had witnessed every single moment of confusion and hesitation Athrun passed, before he finally joined back to ZAFT. No, she didn't like it at all, she wanted Athrun to just stay safe. But no, her son wasn't the type who could stop easily if there was something wrong. She understood that her son wanted to do something. So, she did the only thing she could do: watch.
To be honest, sometimes Lenore wanted to blame Kira for not being on Athrun's side when he faced the world and its mountains of problems. But she knew she couldn't. Not only because she knew that Kira also had a deep lake of painful feelings, but also because for her, Kira was also her child. Just like for Caridad, Athrun was also her child.
She watched Athrun struggled through his pain, she watched him fought in despair, she watched him cried and shrieked in hopelessness when, once again, he thought he had lost Kira… she knew everything.
Then again, Athrun never really disappointed her. She was truly proud when her son decided to betray ZAFT and went back to ORB, to fight for the sake of peace, alongside his friends.. and Kira.
Honestly, she was scared when she watched her son fought in a GINN, trying to get away from the ones she knew as Shinn and Rey. She had prayed with all her heart, Dear God, please let my son be safe.. don't take him over here yet.. he still have many things to do..
Again, she was relieved knowing that Athrun was saved.
That particular night was the most special night among many nights she had watched Athrun. She remembered perfectly how she was watching anxiously at her son's unconscious figure, crying because she was really worried. She was started, though, when the door slid open and Kira came in.
She watched the two boys; Athrun, lying unconscious, and Kira, sitting down next to the bed and kept vigil of his best friend. She would never forget the look on Kira's face.. it was the first time Lenore had seen Kira with an indescribable expression etched on his face, his eyes shone with various emotions—fear, worried, relief, happiness, regret, sadness, solemn, longing, pain… but what startled Lenore was, above those emotions, she had seen one that would change everything.
Love.
It gleamed in Kira's beautiful amethyst orbs.
And then, Athrun woke up. She smiled, thinking that the first thing Athrun would see was someone he had missed so badly—someone he thought he'd never seen again. True enough, as soon as his brain registered the familiar smiling face before him and the familiar melodious voice calling him, "Athrun," he could only let out a "Kira.." and there, the crystal of tears ran down his face.
Suddenly, Lenoe understood everything.Ah yes, she understood. And she thought, how could I never realize it before? It was so obvious, since his childhood, his favorite subject was his best friend. "Mother, today Kira and I.." or "Mother, today Kira did.." or "Mother, I'm worried about Kira.." are occasional topics he had always told her. And it had never changed. It was one thing that never changed. Even after he was separated with his best friend, he had said thing like, "Mother, do you think Kira.." or "Mother, I miss Kira.." or "Mother, Kira would love this…" occasionally.
That was when she finally realized that his son was actually in love with his best friend
Then, she saw Fate and Time smiled, and she realized that this time, when the war was over, her son would finally able to have his happiness.
Yes, soon enough, because Time went on and on, never waiting for anything, the second war was finally over. And she breathed out in relief.
But she still continued to watch. She wanted to know how her son would get the happiness he deserved. She knew, of course, that Cagalli had let Athrun slipped off her grasp even before the war ended, and she wondered whether the girl knew about the hidden love between the two boys.
That was why, one day, she decided to visit Uzumi.
"You know about Athrun and Cagalli, don't you, Uzumi-san?"
The look on Uzumi's face was priceless. "Yes, Lenore-san. I know my daughter perfectly, of course. I think she found out about Athrun's feeling far before the war ended. And I have a feeling that after some time, soon enough, actually, she would threaten your son to confess."
"Ah, I see.. how can you be so sure?"
"Father's intuition?" Uzumi smiled.
Lenore let out a laugh. "But, how about Cagalli, Uzumi-san? She deserves her happiness, too. More than anyone."
"My daughter is a stoneheaded girl. She won't be very sad about this, Lenore-san. She'll get over it and move on in no time. I'm sure she'll find her happiness in someone else. Faster than you could think, maybe. That Asuka boy seemed to have caught her attention so much.."
And Lenore smiled.
"Thank you, Uzumi-san,"
Apparently, Uzumi's intuition was very strong. A month after the war ended, Cagalli made her move. Lenore watched in fascination as the Lioness of ORB threatened Athrun to confess his feelings to Kira, or she would do something that he will regret all his life. She chuckled, amused at the golden haired girl's behavior.
But what Lenore didn't expect was that actually, Athrun didn't need to do so.
It was a nice Sunday afternoon at Malkio's orphanage when Kira approached Athrun.
"I need to talk to you," the ultimate coordinator had said. "Privately,"
Athrun had glanced at Cagalli, who stared back at him innocently, but her golden eyes gleamed, as if telling him that it was his chance to confess. Athrun had no choice but followed Kira out to the beach. Lenore was about to follow them when she saw Lacus came from the kitchen, looking at the two boys with an expression of mixed sadness and happiness.
In an instant, Lenore knew that Lacus had let Kira go.
Excitement built in Lenore's heart, but she still felt sorry for the now Chairwoman of PLANT. Lacus had walked out to watch the two boys, and Lenore had followed her. Lacus had stood on the porch, looking at the two figures under the coconut tree with a serene expression.
And Lenore watched.
"Kira?" Athrun had asked. "What is it?"
Kira looked at him with unreadable eyes. "Athrun.." he had stopped to take a deep breath. "We.. we've been friends since we were little.. and I really, really hope that what I will say wouldn't change our friendship.. wouldn't make you hate me.."
"You know I could never," Athrun had answered. Kira smiled.
"I've.. felt this for a long time now.. and I probably would never tell you if Lacus didn't threaten me.." he chuckled. "But Athrun.. I love you."
Lenore had watched Lacus whirled around in an instant and went back inside, obviously trying not to cry. But Lenore knew, Lacus would cry. And Cagalli would, too. And she knew there was nothing she could do about it. So she stayed and watched Athrun, who ws stunned, looking at Kira like his best friend suddenly had grown a second head.
"Eh..?" was the only thing came out from his mouth.
Kira only nodded, avoiding Athrun's eyes.
Apparently, Athrun didn't know how to react—and Lenore could understand it, because when he was with Cagalli, Athrun never faced a situation like this—so, instead of answering Kira, her son could only moved and drew his best friend into his tight embrace, so tight that Lenore could guess what was in her son's head, "I'll never let go of you again,"
It was all Kira needed to understand.
And despite of the horrible guilt she felt at the two girls, Lenore was happy for them.
The very same day, after that fateful confession Kira made, Lenore had a guest.
"Congratulations, Lenore-san. I'm very happy for your son," Siegell Clyne smiled gently. Lenore had eyed him with an uneasiness.
"I'm sorry about your daughter, Siegell-san,"
"Ah, now, Lenore-san, you know perfectly that Lacus isn't a weak girl. She'll get over this in no time, and she's busy as the Chairwoman anyway. Besides, she's happy for Athrun and Kira."
Lenore nodded, smiling. "Thank you, Siegell-san. I'm hoping that Lacus will find her happiness soon. She deserves it."
"They deserves it," Siegell agreed.
And Lenore kept watching over her son—and her other son, she thought with amusement. She watched every moment the two boys passed together, everyday, every night. The only time she decided not to watch was when the two boys needed time for privacy. She would always go to find Uzumi and Siegell, and they would start a discussion about their growing up children and how they were so proud of them.
Yes, Lenore also watched every fight the two boys had. Although, much for her amusement, they were never able to be mad at each other for a long time. Lenore always had a good laugh whenever the fought over something silly, and she would always think that, no matter how things changed, there were things that would never changed. And their fights were certainly one of those things.
One particular night, though, she watched them at the Athha mansion's backyard.
"Why did you fell for me?" Athrun had asked. Kira looked at him and smiled.
"The same reason why you had fell for me," he replied, closing their distance. "You know, Athrun, you tied me since the very beginning. Perhaps that's why I can never get rid of you," he chuckled.
Athrun smiled, intertwining their fingers. "Do you regret it?"
"Ah.. actually, yes." Kira leaned his head on Athrun's shoulder. "I regret my stupidity. If only I realized my feeling sooner, we'd have a good family by now. I've always wanted to adopt one kid from Malkio-san's orphanage."
"We can never thank Cagalli and Lacus enough," Athrun had murmured as Kira drew him into his embrace and planted a chaste kiss on his lips.
"Then, let's watch over them Athrun. Let's make sure that they'll get the happiness the deserve."
And Lenore cried joyously.
And Time went on and on… and before Lenore knew it, it was February 14 once again.
Athrun always visited her on February 14, and she would always wait for him. But this time, Athrun didn't visit her alone. Kira was with him.
As Athrun put a bouquet of lilies before her and knelt with Kira, Lenore smiled, feeling the atmosphere of contentment surrounded her.
"Athrun." She acknowledged. "Kira-kun. It's been a long time."
The two boys exchanged gazes and smiled.
"It's been over three months since we visited you. I'm sorry, Mother, but both our schedule had been.. hectic." Athrun let out a sincere, soft laugh as Kira squeezed his hand. She laughed along, feeling the contentment that the two boys had brought with them.
"How are both of you?" she asked softly, not taking off her gaze from the two figures kneeling before her.
"We're very busy," Kira reacted, glancing slightly at her son. "Especially since your beloved son had finally let everybody in the world knows that I am his."
"Oh!" she smiled joyously. Even though she knew that—she always watched him—but it was always great to hear those words from either one of them.. two boys that she considered as her sons. "But you don't really mind, do you, Kira-kun?" her smiled widened as she noticed the faint blushes on the two boys' faces.
"The citizens of ORB are… well, shocked wouldn't be right.. I think they are actually shaken.." Athrun shrugged. "But I think everybody is finally settled down with the truth that the two best Generals of ORB are in love with each other."
She chuckled. "Yes. But you deserved it, sweetheart. Both of you deserved happiness after everything. After being separated and became enemies twice.. I'm very happy for you."
Kira gave her a wide smile. "We know that you know everything.." he began. "This is.. February 14.." he continued hesitantly. "It's an important day for world.. it's been six years since the tragedy.."
She patiently listened. "Yes?"
"Somehow, I know that you're always watching over us, Mother. I know you know what had happened over these past years, how I had struggled to find an answer, how I had suffered through the two wars.." Athrun continued.
Her son's words brought a smile upon her face.
"Thank you, Mother." Athrun murmured lovingly. "For everything."
Her eyes softened. "Oh, sweetheart.. you deserved it."
"I've been… a stupid person, Mother," he continued. "I didn't treasure people that are important for me. I forgot the things that you had teach me.. about life.. about feelings. But Mother.. I have decided now. I won't hesitate anymore."
"Good. That's my sweetheart. Don't ever let go of him again." She said. "You've known how it was like when you thought you had lost him. You've experienced that twice."
"I will never do the same stupid mistake again." Her son murmured, his gleaming eyes suddenly full of regret. His best friend drew him into his embrace, and she smiled at the affectionate gesture they shared.
"How are Cagalli and Lacus?" she asked.
"Everything had changed, Mother," Athrun answered, his smiled slightly widened. "Everything is peaceful now. For how long we can help keeping this peace.. I have no idea. But we will try."
"It must be hard," she said knowingly. "And all four of you are still soyoung.."
"Sometimes, we're tired of this," this time, it was Kira who answered her with his gentle voice. "Sometimes, all we wanted is just a peaceful time for ourselves.. not having to bother about what's going on in the world.. but not everyone has the privilege to be selfish,"
"Certainly not. Especially if one is needed by the world." She agreed, and then chuckled. "But both of you would still find time for each other, wouldn't you? Don't lie, I saw the two of you snuck out in the middle of the night last week only to take a walk in the park. It was a very romantic idea, Kira-kun. Athrun wouldn't be able to think of a romantic thing like that."
"Have I told you that Cagalli and Lacus wanted a beach house in ORB, Mother?" Athrun said, amusement in his emerald eyes. "They said that the Athha mansion didn't give them the privacy they wanted because everyone can easily reach them. Cagalli wanted to have her 'private' time with Shinn, and Lacus said something about her 'secret' boyfriend. She still hasn't told us who the lucky guy is, but we suspected that he might be one of Eternal crews. Maybe she'll bring him along in our next vacation. When is it again, Kira?"
"This Christmas," the ultimate coordinator smiled. "We have to be patient,"
She chuckled. "I take it that you will take care of the girls as they had taken care of you,"
She knew that it had taken the girls a long time to get over Athrun and Kira and finally able to move on. She had seen the girls struggled to do it. A long, long process, painful process, and she felt sorry for the girls. The only thing that made her guilt decreased was the genuine happiness that shone in the girls' smiles whenever they saw Athrun and Kira together.
She had grown fond of the girls.
"Mother.." Athrun suddenly said softly. "I miss you."
She sighed, her smile widened. "I miss you, too, Athrun." She whispered. "You're a great man now. You're not a little boy anymore. But you will always be my baby boy forever."
Silence took its place as the blue haired coordinator sank on his thoughts, not even the brunette bothered to disturb him.
"Now, Athrun," she began. "Don't look back. You still have a mountain of responsibilities here."
Oh, how she was proud of him.
"I hope you wouldn't mind.." Kira suddenly said, smiling at her. "Today, I'm here not only to visit you, but also to ask you.. because my mother, and Lacus and Cagalli had given us their bleassings.."
She raised her eyebrows in curiosity.
"I'm here to ask your son's hand in marriage, Lenore-san."
She was stunned. Did she just hear it right? Did he.. just ask her consent to marry her baby boy?
So soon.. a thought nudged the back of her mind. She looked intently at her son's flushed face, trying to read his brilliant emerald eyes..
And she saw only happiness in it. No hint of stress, pain, anguish, sadness or regret whatsoever. It was a sincere happiness.. a genuine contentment.
So she smiled.
"Of course I wouldn't mind, Kira-kun."
As if wanting to send her words to the world, the wind suddenly blew gently, playing naughtily with her son's azure hair and her future son-in-law's brown hair. She smiled as the two boys looked at each other with meaningful eyes.
Her baby boy had grown up. Yes, and she was proud of that.
"Thank you, Lenore-san." Kira whispered. Her son was smiling; smiling so bright that she was sure his smile could outshine the brightest star in the universe.
As the two boys knelt before her gravestone, she smiled.
She would watch. She would watch over him—over them, as she had done for many, many years.
It is February 14 again, she mused, smiling joyously. But for once, she felt happy, so happy, on her death anniversary. Strange, she knew. But as long as her son was happy, she'd be happy.
And she knew, Athrun would be happy. As long as Kira was on his side.. he would be okay.
Lenore Zala never once regretted her decision to let Kira Yamato took care of Athrun Zala.
-finito-
A/N: Fiuuuh.. I'm kinda amazed at myself for typing this only in two hours.. haha.. –shrugs- Hoi hoi, nya! Thank you for reading up to this point, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did on writing it. Trying to write AsuKira through Lenore's eyes is sure hard.. especially because Lenore's character in Gundam SEED series is really unfamiliar to me (and Sunrise didn't dig her character up like they did on Uzumi and Siegell, or even Patrick) so, yeah.. as I said, definite OOC-ness.
Please review and tell me what you think. Consider it as a birthday present for me? Please? Please? Pretty please? –twinkling eyes- I love you to death if you do, nya!
Piashuuu..
(isumi'kivic' and Ilde)