Disclaimer—Recognizable characters belong to Josh Schwartz and Chris Fedak. No copyright infringement intended. Any similarity to events or persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
Author's Notes—Written for the Jellie_Shippers June "Carnival" Challenge. Prompt: Roller-coaster. I kept picturing "my" favorite coaster while I wrote this... Swamp Fox in Myrtle Beach, SC. If anybody's seen the Kenny Chesney, Anything But Mine video... that'd be the park, that'd be the coaster. :) Thanks to Raevon and Basched! And night_lotus for such a wonderful challenge!
Spoilers—Through the end of Season 3. More UST-y than angsty, but angst is about as close to describing as I think I can get. :-/
Wood versus Metal—Sturdy substance beats flimsy flash every time.
It had been a group outing. He didn't want to go, but he wasn't forced. He wasn't held at knife- or gunpoint. He wasn't threatened or tortured. He'd gone of his own free will.
But it had taken two very convincing reasons why.
Both were equally tempting, but the two together were overpowering and he'd succumbed to the forces of nature. He couldn't resist the pouty-lipped, sad-eyed looks from the woman he'd always admired and the daughter he barely knew.
Chuck had tried first, to no avail. Morgan had gone next, and he hadn't even bothered to open the door. Devon either, for that matter, as the third round.
But, with the tag team of Ellie and Alex on his doorstep, he'd caved.
The longer the afternoon wore on, however, as the sun began its descent into the ocean, the more he felt increasingly out of place. Everybody paired up and he was left feeling, again, like the team's little fat kid. While he was generally content to stand back, to watch and observe, he didn't need to be there. While it was nice to try to talk to Alex, it was still awkward.
It was even more awkward for him to watch her get along with Morgan so well.
Sarah occasionally sent her partner a warm look, but even if he'd wanted to talk to her, Chuck usually had another great idea for something they should do before he even had a chance to speak.
Then there was Ellie and Devon.
He sighed heavily but it came out like a pained grunt.
And then there was him. Just him.
Ellie's eyes lit up when she saw the entrance to the roller coaster. "How about it?" she asked.
Devon looked up at the wooden lattice structure. It was an older coaster, not nearly as fast, as steep,or as awesome as some of the newer ones. "You wouldn't rather ride that one?" he asked, pointing to the metallic monstrosity clear across the park.
"It goes upside down," Morgan said with a nod.
"Well, you guys know my aversion to roller coasters in general," added Chuck, placing a hand on his stomach.
Sarah looked at her boyfriend with a tender smile.
"Now, if anyone wanted to join me over at the go-karts..." Chuck said, waggling his eyebrows.
"You know I'm always up for another couple laps," Morgan said.
"There's also the free-fall we haven't tried yet," Devon said, glancing at the big tower just to the right of the wooden roller coaster. "Over twenty stories straight up and free falling at over sixty miles straight down. One word for that, my friends... awesome," he said in a sing-song voice.
"You guys have fun with that one," Chuck said, shaking his head.
"What do you say, Alex?" Morgan asked, looking at the newest addition to the group.
"I'm kinda thinking go-karts, too," she said, glancing back at Chuck, who shot her a pair of thumbs up.
"But, it's my favorite," Ellie lamented, looking back at the coaster entrance.
"I'll ride it with you," Casey said.
Ellie turned, looking back at him in stunned silence.
She wasn't the only one who did so. Sarah's eyebrows drifted up her forehead. Devon's were knit together. Chuck and Morgan weren't sure what to make of that, but Alex had smiled at him.
"You want to go or don't you?" Casey asked, walking through the center of the group and towards the stairs that led to the loading platform.
Ellie followed him, grinning broadly as she reached him, linking her arm with his.
Devon still stood there, dumbly watching as his wife wandered off to ride something without him.
"Devon, would you like to ride go-karts with us?" Sarah asked.
"Uh..."
"Last one to the line buys the tickets," Alex announced before taking off.
Morgan and Chuck weren't far behind.
Sarah paused for a moment, still waiting to see if Devon was coming. She watched as he blinked, shook his head, then turned, running towards the go-kart track. She rushed ahead of him.
It was still warm in the twilight but the breeze was starting to cool. While the line seemed to stretch on forever, she knew it had only been a few minutes.
He could tell she was excited. There was a subtle hop to her step, a light in her eyes, and a flush to her cheeks. "So, where do you want to sit?" he asked, right as the cars rushed down the valley nearest the loading platform.
She knew he'd said something, but between the sound of the ride itself as well as the rocking top-forty music being pumped through the park, she hadn't caught it at all. She looked up at him, grinning. "What?"
He leaned in closer to her. "Where do you want to sit? Front, where we can see everything? Back, where we'll get tossed around? Somewhere in the middle, best of both worlds?"
She shrugged, looking up at him.
"This is your favorite ride. I'm sure you've experienced it from all seats. Which one's best?"
"Well, I've always had to ride it by myself," she admitted. "I've never been brave enough to try the front."
"Guess that settles it, then," he said as they inched forward.
Her excitement became nervousness very quickly. "The front?"
"The very front."
She bit her lower lip. "Are you sure?"
"Aren't you?"
She shrugged again. She was quiet only for a minute before looking up at him again. "What about next to front?"
He shook his head.
"Front of the second car?" she ventured.
"What are you scared of?" he asked.
"I dunno," she said, watching as the cars again zoomed down another hill, listening to the squeals of delight.
They waited in silence for a few more minutes, watching passengers climb off and new ones climb on before continuing their trek forward.
"What would make you feel better?" he asked, deciding on a different tact.
She looked up at him. "Really?"
"If there's something that would make you feel better, now would be the time to tell me."
"Don't put your arms up in the air."
"I'll hold on the whole time," he promised.
She nodded. But one minute later, she was asking again: "Are you sure you don't want to sit one row back?"
"What difference will one row make?" he asked, looking at her, mildly amused. He'd never seen this side of Ellie. The Bartowski-freaking-out-nothing-in-sight-to-clean-or-cook side.
"It won't be the very front."
"I can protect you," he told her.
It was the strangest thing. It was like he saw all the tension ease from her body. He hadn't even realized how much like a tightened rubber band she was until he saw the pressure leave. Her limbs had been rigid before he'd said those four simple words but afterward they hung loosely at her sides. Her jaw had been clenched but it looked more natural, too.
When they finally had to make their choice of where to sit, Ellie casually found Casey's hand.
He'd been surprised, but he realized he shouldn't have been. After all, he'd promised he'd keep her safe. He squeezed her hand gently.
She exhaled, leading their way to the first row line.
He knew it had to be an unconscious thing, that it was just the lingering anxiousness over the ride as her thumb grazed the back of his hand. He'd love to think it was for some other reason, like it was the most natural thing in the world to do. Like it was meant to be. But he didn't let himself have those thoughts. He couldn't.
Instead, he focused on how many more rides they'd have to miss before they'd be able to get the prized first seats. There was a pair of giggly girls, both blonde and tanned and barely tall enough to ride, followed by a freckle-faced teenager who stood alone, his arms crossed over his chest, and then another young couple that seemingly mirrored them. She looked scared. He looked confident.
That hadn't done a very good job of keeping him distracted.
Neither did Ellie backing into him when the cars zoomed past the loading platform again. She looked up at him, blushing. "Sorry," she said, reluctantly releasing his hand as well.
"It's okay," he said, though his voice sounded foreign to him, hollow, different. He didn't want it to be just because she wasn't holding his hand anymore, but he couldn't help but wonder if that had made the change.
After the blonde kids rode and once the teenager had climbed aboard, Ellie looked back at Casey, unable to look forward at the actual ride.
He smiled a little at her, seeing the anticipation fill her eyes again. "You'll be fine."
"You sure you don't want to back out?"
"You don't like any of the adrenaline things with Devon, do you?" he asked.
"Bungee jumping is not for me," she said with a soft laugh, shaking her head.
"How long can the ride last?"
"About a minute, minute and a half."
"A lot shorter than bungee jumping," he reminded her.
"I know."
"And it's your favorite."
She smiled. "I always get wound up before I ride it, though. But, the first row?"
Casey watched as the coaster dipped into the valley again, and the teenage boy was finally appearing to have a good time. "You've got about two minutes until we're going to experience it."
"That's not helping," she said.
Was she ever a Bartowski. He cracked a smile, laughing.
"That's not helping either!"
But he was suddenly closer and the energy shifted from negative and worrisome to one far more electric.
She swallowed hard, looking up at him as he stood right in front of her. "I... John..."
Her hair had been pulled back in a ponytail from the start of the outing, and it was starting to fall after three rounds on the bumper-cars, a couple rides on the tilt-a-whirl, a trip through the haunted house and one voyage on the pirate ship. He reached out, brushing a few stray strands back from her face.
Her breath caught in her throat.
He'd become different since he'd realized he was a father. And that knowledge had taken a little getting used to, probably by all parties, but he was coming around. It made him seem more human, more real. It was a new John, one she liked seeing.
She'd noticed the change in his wardrobe first. The incessant black had been phased out, at least somewhat, including the occasional pale shade. She'd seen richer colors emerge, deep browns and cobalt blues. Even standing there, waiting on the roller coaster, he'd worn a pair of blue jeans, brown sneakers, and a coffee-colored polo shirt. It was much nicer than that Buy More green.
He seemed to stand a little taller, a little prouder.
And of course she knew the secret now.
John Casey wasn't a strange neighbor with African snake weed in his medicine cabinet who had a drinking problem. He was a Colonel in the US Marine Corps. He was an agent of the NSA. He was someone who could protect her.
She'd been so mesmerized by him that she hadn't realized she'd missed the couple in front of them getting on the ride and ultimately getting off again.
"Are you ready?" he asked.
She blinked. "What?"
He nodded towards where the empty seat waited for her.
She inhaled sharply.
For a half-second, she wanted to back out. For a half-second, she wanted to ask the people behind her in line if they wanted to go instead.
But immediately following that half-second, she felt a warm hand on her hip.
Exhaling, Ellie slid in first and Casey eased in beside her. It was a bit of a tight squeeze, as he was a big guy. They worked together to fasten the seat belt, and the safety bar came down with a satisfying clunk.
He smiled a little as he saw Ellie's white-knuckle grip latch onto the safety bar. He'd seen her come at him with a frying pan. The woman was damned near fearless but her undoing seemed to be her "favorite" amusement park ride.
Casey eased his right arm around Ellie's shoulders before resting his left hand lightly atop the bar.
"Wh..." She looked up at him, confused.
"You told me to hold on, didn't you?"
She blinked, but nodded.
As the train cars began their exit from the station, Ellie found herself pressing further against him. He was a mass of muscles, strong and sure. And he'd managed to talk her into this, so she was going to take full advantage of his promise.
Casey held her a little tighter but, as they began their ascent up the first hill, hearing the incessant clicking of the chain beneath them, he wondered what he'd gotten himself into. Her warm body was practically plastered to his side, his arm around her, keeping her there.
And he wouldn't mind keeping her there for more than just a minute and a half.
It was just his luck. Finding someone who was perfect but with circumstances that prevented them from being together. Kathleen had been his first love, true and pure in the way that only teenagers could fall in love. But, the Marines had taken that away from him.
Ilsa had been his first real relationship as an adult. Give and take, a partnership. But, then there'd been the pesky issues of covers and bombings and Russian crime bosses.
And then there was Ellie. The classic "girl next door." He hadn't thought anything of the cliché until he'd found himself living it. The appeal was clear. The opportunities were limitless. The desire was hard to battle.
He'd done a good job of it, he felt, until that night. Until that moment, holding her close, not wanting to let go.
"Ellie..."
She looked over at him. For a moment, she forgot they were on a roller coaster, she forgot they were about to plunge dozens of feet down the first big hill. "John?" His face was different now. There was an openness, a vulnerability that hadn't been there before.
Neither of them got to say anything else because, as they crested the first hill, Ellie couldn't help but scream.
Casey held her steady, even resting his left hand over top of her white-knuckled grip.
The minute was over just as quickly as it had begun, and Casey couldn't help but feel an emptiness, a sadness now that it was gone. The safety bar lifted on its own once they were at the unloading platform, and they worked together to unfasten the belt. Ellie climbed out first but he was right behind her.
She was still laughing. Her cheeks were twinged with pink, her hair even more windblown than before, but she looked so happy. Happier than he'd seen her in a while.
"Oh, John, thank you," she said as they made their way down the stairs of the exit, back towards the park. "That was wonderful."
"I had fun, too," he told her honestly.
"Oh, wait," she said once they reached the tiki-themed shack at the bottom of the stairs.
"What?"
"They took our photo," she said, her eyes scanning the three sets of television screens on the shelf in the top of the booth.
Casey watched as, sure enough, their picture appeared on the top left corner of one of the sets. Ellie was screaming but having fun, he was even smiling. Wordlessly, he pulled out his wallet, checking the prices on the poster hanging below the screens.
Ellie glanced over at him, curious.
"Uh. Package number two," he said, handing over a crisp twenty dollar bill. "Row one."
The pictures were outrageously priced, but it was worth it, he decided. For fifteen dollars, they got two glossy five by sevens. One for him and one for her.
Pocketing his change, he offered Ellie the envelope. "How do we look?"
She pulled the photos out, showing him. They looked... right, she decided. But, she couldn't say that out loud. She wasn't even sure where that thought had come from.
"Not bad," Casey decided.
As they walked into the main thoroughfare of the park, Ellie stopped, though, glancing back at the line. "Y'know, I bet we could get right back on..."
Casey looked at her, amused. "You want to ride again? After almost not wanting to ride at all?"
She bit her lower lip, looking up at him.
For the second time that day, he couldn't deny her.
Alex sat on the bleachers, watching Devon and Sarah and Chuck ride the go-karts again. Morgan approached cautiously with a bag of pink cotton candy. "Thought you were all for riding." They'd driven one race, gotten off, had gone right back in the line, driven again, and then Morgan had gone for snacks.
Alex had been in the line to join them for a third race but had opted out at the last minute. "I wanted to see something," she said.
"Oh yeah? What's that?" he asked, removing the twist-tie from the spun sugar treat.
She looked over, spotting a tall, dark-haired guy walking with a shorter brunette. He was actually laughing at something. She was talking animatedly, motioning with her hands, holding an envelope. He had a matching one under his arm. "That," she said, a tender smile on her own face.
Morgan followed her gaze, spotting what she was looking at. Casey and Ellie. Together. "Huh."
"Kinda cute, right?"
"I'm not sure I'd ever call anything even remotely connected to your father cute."
She glanced back at him. "You said I was..."
Morgan offered a pained chuckle. "Well, that... that's... very different and... not at all... I mean, Casey's, y'know. Casey's a good guy. Tough guy. He's our big guy. But, him and Ellie? She's got Awesome."
"Who wouldn't even ride her favorite ride with her," Alex pointed out before reaching in and selecting a small tuft of cotton candy before popping it in her mouth.
"Awesome's an adrenaline junky. That's not adrenaline-y enough, I guess."
"Sometimes it's not the adrenaline, though," she said, licking the sticky residue off her fingers. "Sometimes, it's the anticipation a girl needs."
They stopped on the other side of the fenced-in go-kart track, hidden in the shadows behind the ticket booth. Ellie looked up at him, more serious than she'd been all night.
"What is it?" Casey asked.
"Why'd you come with us?"
"Here?"
She nodded.
He shrugged.
"John... Chuck tried, Morgan tried, Devon tried..."
He took a slow breath. "Ellie..."
"There had to be a reason."
Casey seemed to fidget for a moment, pulling a cigar out of his pocket, along with a book of matches. "You mind?"
She shook her head.
He lit his cigar, inhaling deeply. "Truth is," he began, "you and Alex are hard to resist," he said, his voice low.
"Not just Alex..."
"Not just Alex," he confirmed.
"John," she whispered. It wasn't so much shock. She'd realized that there had been something when they'd gone up the first hill. It was the realization that, even after she'd hit him, even after she'd come to learn the truth, that he still felt that way about her. That there was that something and it was so palatable and so real.
He shrugged. "Doesn't have to mean anything."
She noted well that he wasn't looking at her, that he was rolling his cigar between his fingers.
"Shouldn't mean anything."
But, it did. She wanted to tell him it did. She wanted to open her mouth and tell him that there was that something and that she felt it, too. Her mouth wasn't working. Her brain was in overdrive, her heart was about to beat clear out of her chest, but her body wasn't working as one cohesive unit.
He narrowed his eyes, looking out at the go-kart track, watching as Chuck tried to catch Sarah, who was clearly smoking them all, as Devon tried to spin Chuck out.
With her mouth finally in working order, she said something, but it wasn't what her heart screamed to say. It was something that just came out. "Y'know, there's nothing quite like wooden roller coasters. Just because there are flashier ones, newer ones..."
He looked back at her cautiously.
"Classics never go out of style."
He smiled a little. "Maybe we can ride again sometime."
"Yeah," she whispered.
"C'mon," he said, his hand on her lower back, guiding her away from the shadows, out into the light.
As they caught up to the assembled group, Alex couldn't help but see the sadness in her father's eyes, and Morgan wasn't quite sure what to make of Ellie's shell-shocked expression.
"All right," Devon said, clapping his hands. "Who's up for the free-falling now?"
"You guys go ahead," Casey said, holding up his lit cigar as an excuse.
Sarah joined Devon, as did Morgan. Alex hesitated, but ultimately went with them.
"C'mon, bro. You try the free-fall, I won't make you do the metal 'coaster," Devon said, looking at Chuck.
Seeing Sarah's hopeful expression, Chuck couldn't resist. He stood with his girlfriend, sliding an arm around her waist.
"Babe?"
Ellie glanced back at Casey, torn for a moment. She returned her attention to her husband, all geeked and ready to go. All the attention was on her, for her answer. Chuck and Sarah seemed not to care one way or the other. There was something in Morgan's face that was unreadable and there was a tenderness in Alex's eyes. "I think I'll pass," she said finally.
End.