"My, aren't you looking sexy today?" he asked his reflection.
"Yes I am." replied his hair. Riku picked up his brush and started to brush his hair.
"Ahhhh... This is so soothing." said Riku.
Riku continued brushing his hair. It was a beautiful silver color. It was long and luscious. He had worked hard to grow it to just the perfect length. He had once heard that talking to flowers helped them grow. So he figured, why wouldn't it work with hair? That fateful day, three years ago, Riku had been deemed "The Fugliest Person Alive". He had been sure it was because of his hair. The hideous bowl-cut his mother had made him wear, ever since he had started junior high. That, that had to be the reason. And it was. So Riku, wanting to NOT be the fugliest person alive, had started to talking to his hair. To his ultimate shock, it talked back to him.
"We haven't hung out in forever..." said Riku's hair.
"I know. I've been"
There was a dramatic pause. Tension filled the air. Riku narrowed his eyes.
"...Busy." Riku finished.
"I see." said his hair.
"You know, a lot has happened since we... you know..." Riku paused, trying to find just the right words.
"Broke up?" offered his hair.
"Yeah... that." Riku said softly.
"You know, I'm sorry about the fact that we can't spend that much time together. It's just... I..." Riku said, and he paused.
"I'm seeing some one new!" Riku finished dramatically.
"What? Have you already forgotten what we had?!" said Riku's hair, flustered by his previous comment.
"Who is it?! Who?! Is it Cid? Malificent?! I bet it's that skank The Fairy Godmother!" his hair shrieked.
"No, it's not them! Don't say anything like that!" Riku panicked.
"Why? Why do you always have to go after older women?" his hair began to scream.
"I-" Riku's hair didn't let him finish.
"OLDER WOMEN RIKU!!! THEY WANT YOU BECAUSE OF ME! THEY JUST WANT ME BECAUSE THEY'RE GOING BALD!!! ALL THEIR GLORIOUS HAIR HAS MOVED FROM THEIR HEADS TO THEIR LIPS RIKU!!! IS THAT REALLY WHAT YOU WANT?!" Riku's hair went into a full blown screaming rampage.
"I've had enough!" Goodbye forever, hair!" Riku yelled, tearing up. He ran out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. He dropped to his knees and began too cry. He couldn't believe it had come to this. All the good times he'd had with his hair. The day they went to the beach. The day he got pizza got thrown at his hair by a psychotic fan, and even the time it been set on fire during a science lab.
"Riku? Riku, why are you crying?" said a soft voice. Riku looked up. Standing above him was Kanga the Kangaroo.
"You've stopped crying. Good." Kanga said soothing. Riku smiled.
"Now come here big daddy, and give give momma some sugar!" Kanga said licking her lips. Riku grinned. Now that he had finally broken up with his hair forever, he and Kanga could finally have the Star Trek themed wedding they had always dreamed of.
"I'm coming for you baby!" Riku said playfully.
THE END
...OR IS IT? WILL RIKU'S HAIR SEEK REVENGE?
PROBABLY NOT, CONSIDERING HE SHAVED IT ALL OFF THE NEXT DAY.
AND FROM THAT DAY ON, RIKU NEVER TALKED TO HIS, OR ANYONE ELSE'S FOR THAT MATTER (Because he had been known to casually talk to other people's hair too.), HAIR AGAIN.
NOW IT'S REALLY THE END.
GO AWAY NOW.
UNLESS YOU'RE REVIEWING. THAT WOULD BE NICE. w
This fic was brought to you by Riku's plunger. City blackout? NO PROBLEM! PLUNGE INTO THE DARKNESS! PLUNGE! PLUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNGE!!!!!!!!
I don't own KH.