Title: Anata nara anshin
Pairing: Gackt/Hyde
mentions of Megumi, fellow L'ArcenCiel members, former Sakura/Hyde, and GacktJOB present.
Rating: T – sexually implied situations, some cursing
Chapter 1 of …?
-Hyde POV
Title comes from Gackt's song "Another World", which he wrote and filmed the PV with the intent of Moon Child in mind. (at least according to what I read) The line translates roughly to "If it's you, then I'm okay."
Hyde is contacted by the infamous Gackt to star in his movie project. He visits Gackt's house for a script read and something starts to brew between them.
Maybe this was a bad idea, I begin to think as I head down the road leading closer to Gackt's lavish abode. Or at least I assume it will be lavish. It is Gackt after all, so why wouldn't it be?
I've only met the guy once in person; it was over dinner (when I stop to recall it, that itself was lavish), and this was where he pitched his movie idea to me. It was also where I got the strange sense that Gackt was almost like my stalker, the way he droned on about how much he admired me, could only envision myself playing this character, and had been following my career closely for years, using my recent solo stint as an excuse to jump on the chance that I would want do work in films.
Films. Movies. An actor? I hardly consider myself one and when I told Gackt that he explained that every time we're on stage or filming a PV, or making some sort of showing in front of our intended target public we were acting. I couldn't really argue that point. The music business, especially in Japan, was a highly competitive market. And there I sat, across from my very competition in that market and he was pitching that he wanted to work with me.
I told him I would have to consider it seriously.
Because seriously I didn't know if I wanted to work in films. It wasn't the first time I had been asked either. Many offers I had turned down. Too often musicians were portrayed badly when they jumped to the big screen and I didn't want that for myself. It was already a big risk when I stepped away from Laruku to do my own thing and already reviews and some criticisms were coming in about my sudden turn to ballads and softer sounding music. Hey these tunes have been in my head since the early days of L'Arc, and I imagine Sakura himself, that is if he pays attention to me anymore, could attest to that upon popping the Evergreen single in his CD player… It was finally a chance to let these songs out and let the world hear that Hyde wasn't just a badass rockstar (which of course I still am), but also has a softer side and can produce damn good balladic melodies (when not under the reigning eye of Tetsu).
Perhaps those tunes struck a chord with Gackt. Although he said he'd been dreaming of me (oh God, Gackt dreams of me?!) playing this part since the idea entered his head a few years back, I wonder what finally gave him the courage to pursue it. Making a movie isn't like making a song, at least not in my eyes. But then this is Gackt, almighty Gackt, the one and only Gackt and it appears that he does whatever he damn well pleases (and much to my and most Japanese stars chagrin, succeeds).
He called me exactly 4 days after our dinner, telling me that he knew the sure fire way to get my answer; to read the script. Obviously that would be a big help, as Gackt's overly detailed plotline he described with large gestures over his plate of lettuce was too much for my brain to comprehend, not to mention he uses awfully big words and some I'm not sure even exist in the Japanese language (or any other language, for that matter).
And now I found myself heading up the driveway to what is, just as I expected, a lavish abode belonging to Gackt. My mouth hangs open as I step out of my car, clicking to lock it and adjusting my snakeskin jacket as I make my way to the door. Stay cool, Hyde, I tell myself, wondering what the strange bundle of butterflies in my stomach is doing fluttering around at a time like this. It's just a giant home belonging to an eccentric pop-rock star; no reason to be nervous.
I raised my hand to knock on the door and as if anticipating it, the door creaked open slowly and eerily. What made it eerie was that there appeared to be no one opening it – it was moving of its own accord. I leaned in slightly, attempting to peer around but it was completely dark inside. "Gackt?" I called and quickly checked the address in my back pocket to make sure I was at the right place. It looked right but it felt wrong. I stepped back a bit, scratching my head when suddenly he appeared.
Gackt leaned along the frame of the doorway. "Hyde…" he coos, blue contacts piercing at me. There is a distinct scent radiating from him, Chanel Egoiste or something with an otherwise equally fitting name for its abuser wearer. His arms are crossed over a loud, flashy shirt, two overly bleached stray hairs probably strategically placed to cross over one eyebrow and hang just where they did, and lest I allow my eyes to trail down, but discover the tightest snake skin pants I've ever seen. Ever. As I look back up to his face I see him smirking slightly and it causes the faintest blush across my cheeks.
"I wasn't sure this was the right place," I start, desperate to make conversation.
"Forgive me," he begins, standing up straight and giving a slight bow. "Why don't you come on inside," Gackt stepped back, opening the door fully and extending an arm into his dark home. I smiled and stepped in slowly, wondering how a place could be so dark and waiting for Gackt to turn on a light, or at least hoping my eyes would adjust as Gackt was already shutting the door behind me and all natural light was already fading out of view.
"Uh, I can't see anything Gackt," I started and I heard a quiet chuckling behind me. It was enough to make goose bumps appear along my arms but soon I noticed a small flame flickering in one corner and eventually my eyes became aware of several of them around me.
"I prefer the dark," Gackt began and I heard his voice moving away from me. I assumed that perhaps I should try to follow him but I couldn't see my hand in front of my face, let alone have any clue which direction to head. Thankfully, as Gackt has the annoying ability of, he continued to blabber on about why he preferred such darkness. "There is so much more to the atmosphere when things are shrouded. Light actually contorts things, did you know that Hyde?" I staggered along foolishly, using only the sound of his voice to help me find my way. "The minds eye perceives things differently with light shed upon it. In the darkness is where the truth lies. It's calmer, more soothing, and the quiet peace it provides is like none other. I prefer when things are dim…"
Funny, since I kept thinking that the only thing dim in this room right now was Gackt. Doesn't he notice I'm stumbling like an idiot here? Just as I began to get angry my foot snagged on a table leg or maybe a bit of carpet, or for all I know his goddamn cat, but something tripped me up and in an instant I was almost face-first on the floor.
If not for the two strong arms that were suddenly holding me up.
"Careful, Hyde," Gackt whispered and slowly pulled me up until I was flat on my feet again. I gaped up at him, gawked at his agile speed and graceful way of catching me and his warm arms remained under my own arms, long fingers gracing my wing-printed shoulder blades. I could strongly smell his cologne now; yes, Chanel Platinum Egoiste, that's the stuff, and I think it started to make me feel somewhat lightheaded. Slowly the warmth retreated as his arms left me and again I was hearing his voice from the other side of the room. I stepped along more slowly now, silently cursing myself for acting like a princess being rescued by a dashing prince (not that I think that's what Gackt is, it's… just a metaphor) just a few minutes ago and blaming it all on his bloody strong cologne, which he apparently bathed in. Or washed the house in. Or perhaps both.
"Gackt, where are you leading me? I can't see a damned thing," I complained, arms reaching out like a blind man for a couch, a table, a coat rack or… something warm and soft resembling… Oh god.
Gackt turned around and smirked down at me. "Hyde I don't mind leading you by the hand but this ass-grabbing is just not acceptable for our second date," and then he chuckled.
My face was beetroot red, or at least it would be if there were any lights in the place to prove it. Regardless it felt hot and I quickly retrieved my hands from their spot on his tight ass. I wanted to come back with a retort; something witty and snappy and not at all homosexually implying. So I said back at him,
"Sorry Gackt," in possibly my weakest voice ever. Yeah. Score one for me.
"Nothing to be sorry for Hyde," he replied and for once his voice didn't sound like it was trailing away from me. Which I was happy for in the sense that this meant I wouldn't lose him in the dark again but at the same time had me on edge when I suddenly felt a warm hand tightly clutching my shoulder. "I prefer to hold that until the third date,"
My eyes bulged. I was too busy blushing over accidentally touching his ass that I hadn't even noticed he was calling our get-togethers 'dates' all of a sudden. I was about to contest but Gackt started laughing so loudly.
"Oh Hyde! You should see your face right now!" and he continued to laugh at me. Yes, because I certainly wasn't laughing with him. I don't even know how he could see my face in this cave of despair but right now I was too embarrassed to care. "Come on," he said, grabbing my arm as he led me toward a room that had at least enough light for me to decipher that it was a living room… or something of the sort. There were –dare I use the term- lavish decorations all around and enough roses to drown out the scent of Gackt's Egoiste cologne. The back wall seemed awful shiny however and my mind wondered how a room with such little light could even produce a glare. It was then that I realized that the entire back wall was actually made of glass. You see? Very lavish.
Gackt stepped forward and as if presenting the room to me he extended his arms, tilted his head back and sighed loudly.
"This is quite a place you have here, Gackt," I said, deciding it was probably okay to make myself comfortable as I removed my boots and snakeskin jacket, glancing around for where exactly I should drop off the items. It was then that I noticed on the ground there were rose petals strewn about as if welcoming someone important. I blinked a few times hoping that this was just part of Gackt's normal home attire and not done specially for me. Just as I was thinking that, Gackt's arms swooped under mine to take my coat and boots off to the side. I told him thank you and found myself a spot on the leather couch.
"Might I offer you a drink, Hyde?" Gackt started, standing before me with a look that he was about to cater to my every need.
"Sure," I started, rubbing my suddenly sweaty hands (oh why?) along my jeans as he disappeared. I took this moment to look around the room as best I could. More than anything I was curious as to why the entire back wall was made of glass and what was behind it. I couldn't really tell from my position on the couch so I ventured over to it, cupping my hands on the glass to try and peer through.
"You're curious what's back there?" Gackt's voice caused me to jump and I turned around to see him standing directly behind me, two empty flukes and a bottle of Brandy in his hand.
"Well I've never seen a house with a glass wall in it before," I commented, momentarily eyeing the bottle – mm, good year. Gackt chuckled again and made his way over to the couch, setting the glasses on the coffee table near his laptop.
"I'm sure I'll be showing it to you later," he said as he began pouring. He's sure he'll be showing it to me? What on earth did that mean? I walked over to the couch and sat down, leaving enough space between us for a sumo wrestler to settle in. Gackt glanced over at me after he finished pouring us two glasses. He seemed a little unnerved that I was sitting so far away and I instantly became nervous the moment that smirk began to enter his features.
Gackt took no time in closing the distance between us, his snakeskin pants gliding along his patented leather couch in one swift motion that before I knew it he was practically on top of me, offering the glass of brandy.
"Thank…you," I said and took a small sip. I didn't want to appear as the lush that I sometimes can be when I go out but Gackt had already chugged down near the entire glass. So I didn't feel so bad when I copied his action and drained the fluke.
"Now Hyde," he started, putting his empty glass on the coffee table before turning his attention fully back to me. "The script is still in working order. It has all my original ideas and dialogues but these things often change. Once I find a director and complete the cast and see how everything mingles together it's possible that some of this will be different by time we're ready to put it on film,"
I swallowed the last of the brandy settled in my mouth and wanted to put my glass down on the table except that doing so would require reaching forward and then I'd pretty much be in Gackt's lap. So I sat still, clinging to my empty glass and nodding at the appropriate times while Gackt spoke about the movie.
"However, I feel that most of Sho and Kei's interactions and dialogue will remain mostly the same as I originally envisioned. There is a great intimate bond between them and I can already sense that same chemistry…" Blue eyes sparkled as they looked at me.
"Wait, which ones are Sho and Kei again?" I asked. Gackt smiled at me.
"That's you and I, Hyde. I'm Sho and you are the vampire Kei."
Dammit! I just made a total ass of myself by forgetting my character's name. But before I could have a chance to feel embarrassed about it my mind traced back to what Gackt just said about Kei and his 'great intimate bond' with Sho. Shit. I was now feeling very nervous about what this script had in store for me.
"Well, let's get going!" I said, in a sick anxiety to see this thing. Gackt grinned and left my side of the couch, giving me some room to exhale and spread out a bit. He opened up his laptop and asked if I wanted another brandy. Good lord the afternoon was just starting and had a huge script to read over… you bet I did. Before Gackt poured our second drinks he tossed a huge stack of papers on my lap. "What's this?" I asked as Gackt handed me another glass full.
"That's your script," he responded as he opened the same document on his computer. I could barely make out the words on the page in all this darkness and quietly scowled over at Gackt as he began to read out the beginning descriptions of MOON.
"Why don't you read your lines aloud, Hyde?" Gackt asked. "I'll play the other characters so we can interact,"
All well and good but I can't even see my damn script. Mumbling to myself I pulled out my lighter and flicked the flame so that I could read along with Kei's lines. As we continued, with Gackt doing awful impersonations of a young child's voice, my lighter ran out of fluid. Cursing to myself I tossed it on the coffee table in front of us and took a sip from my 4th glass of brandy. As Gackt went on to reading the descriptions of what he considered to be a badass yakuza fight with Sho somehow single-handedly taking on hoards of baddies, I realized I had tossed my Zippo lighter in the pocket of my coat. Gackt continued to describe the scene with me occasionally gratifying him with approvals of "un!" in reply as I hunted for my jacket and Zippo. Finally, success was mine. I made my way back to the couch just as Gackt was looking over to my side for me to recite my lines and lit up the Zippo.
"Hidari! Migi! Hidari!" I yelled out the directions, my mind wondering why a scene like this would even take place and why I was such a laid back vampire watching from above while my 'great intimate bonding partner' was on the ground with bullets nearly missing him from every angle.
"Wait, wait Gackt…" I interrupted, flipping the Zippo lid shut. I proceeded to ask him just what was on my mind. As I talked, Gackt leaned back on the couch, a hand holding up his head as he stared at me with a curious smile. "So you see what I'm saying?"
"Hyde, I can understand your confusion. But you have to understand that Sho wants to be independent. As a boy he couldn't wait to get his hands on a gun of his own. He is a head-strong kid. Kei knows better than to try and tell him no because it's only ever led to Sho finding trouble on his own and Kei coming to his rescue. They love to go on heists together. Kei stays above him almost like an angel, watching over Sho to make sure he doesn't get into too much trouble. He gives him directions to help his friend keep from getting hurt. You see their bond is like…"
Gackt continued to go on and on and I started to hate myself for ever asking. Clearly Gackt had spent way too much time analyzing this story but at least he had a reason to back up everything he wrote.
"You know what?" I interrupted him, causing his head to jolt a little. "You're totally right. I get it now. I can see what you're saying." I continued with the mindless agreements until I finally got a smile out of Gackt. "Why don't we continue now?"
Although I kind of didn't want to. I was already tired of sitting in the dark and the brandy was working its way through my body. When we reached a good place to stop I reached over to Gackt, lying my hand gently on his arm to get his attention.
"Do you mind if we take a break? I need to get up and stretch and… make use of your toilet." Gackt closed his laptop indicating to me that he agreed. He stood up and stretched his arms high over his head, his shirt rising up to reveal what 'washboard abs' actually meant. My jaw dropped. Yes okay I admit it. Sure I thought those naked centerfold photos of his were a ridiculous publicity stunt of some sort and that he had to be photoshopped beyond belief because no man is that good looking. But here it appeared that I was proven wrong. Completely wrong.
Maybe this is the part where I should stop and explain where I stand. In the beginning I didn't mind so much when they said I was gay – I guess I asked for it dressing like a gypsy queen in our early days and all those rumors about me and Sakura… well I can tell you that some of them are true. So when he left the band and our image was 'tainted', as it were, I had to harden my image. I didn't want to be called gay anymore because Sakura was out of my life and I had nearly hit rock bottom. Of course after that L'ArcenCiel grew drastically and went on to become the most famous band in Japan (well we are, right?) that I became someone else entirely. I married a superhot model because it looked good (and my management said to) and the PR has been continuously after me and our 'hidden' life ever since. It worked though because it is keeping fans swirling around me in great interest and pushed away most of the 'rumors' and 'gossip' that Hyde just might be gay.
I couldn't even begin to think of myself as gay now. The last time I had anything even remotely close to a homosexual tryst was the REAL tour two years ago when I fondled Tetsu on stage once or twice. Yeah. Exciting stuff, isn't it?
I've settled into the fact that I will go on as one of those closeted men that's married to a hot babe (at least until my agents say that's no longer working for me and we divorce) or until the day I die and the word gets out at which point I won't care anyway.
So to have something thrust at me (and I use the term mildly, for now at least) as talented, famous and gorgeous as Gackt is, wanting to work with me, closely, and inviting me to his dark home, making quips about touching his tight ass and now showing off his impeccable abs… I think it's safe to say something was indeed stirring down below.
My upper half however, namely my brain, was trying to ward off any weird feelings and stirrings on I was having being so near to Gackt and in such a situation as I was currently finding myself in. As I already mentioned, it had been a while since I've had any action (see what marriage does, even to a rockstar?), let alone any from the opposite sex. I wasn't even sure if the 'signs' I was getting were real or that was just the way Gackt was. He had no sense of personal space, that much was already clear, and I suppose he really is eccentric enough to have a pitch black house with roses everywhere… It just seemed a little suspicious.
I stood up from the couch, stretching my arms up and not nearly reaching the height that Gackt obtained but it sufficed to crack my back at least. Gackt motioned for me to follow him out of the room and he led me towards his bathroom where he lingered strangely at the door before smiling and leaving me to my peace.
Of course it wasn't surprising that this room was just as dark with a black toilet as well. It will be a wonder if I make the target. As I stood there I counted the mirrored tiles on the ceiling and realized I wouldn't get through all of them this time.
I miraculously found my way back to the living room where Gackt was having another glass of brandy and standing at the big glass wall in the back. I noticed he had filled my empty fluke as well so I picked it up and joined his side.
"Hyde, do you want me to show you what's behind the glass wall?" Gackt's speech slurred only a little but it could have been because he was holding his glass closely to his lips when he said it, a dark shroud over his bright blue eyes as he said so and leered to look at me.
I swallowed my brandy. "I think I deserve a complete tour of your house, Gackt." I responded. Gackt's eyes lit up as it I had just said the most entrancing thing ever.
"Oh, forgive me, Hyde," Gackt started, turning to face me. "How rude of me to not suggest it earlier! Of course you do. Come with me," he said, taking my glass and setting it on the table with his own. "I've been a terrible host," he continued.
"No, no you haven't," I quickly said, not intending for him to take my last statement incorrectly. "You welcomed me in, saved me from falling flat on my face, offered me brandy, showed me to the restroom… I'm sorry I didn't mean to impose I just wanted to… you know, see the place." See the place? Well that wasn't gonna happen unless we turned some lights on but I was beginning to think Gackt never even had such things installed.
"Of course, you're more than welcome. I can give you a grand tour, come…" he closed the distance between us, leading the way out of the living room as I followed. Gackt paused sharply at the doorway, nearly causing me to crash into him. "I'll try not to rush too far ahead of you this time, but if you get lost just reach out for my ass again," he said with a mischievous grin.
I visibly blushed and gave him a scowl. "I wasn't trying to reach for your--"
"Come, this way. I can show you the latest installment to my home," Gackt interrupted me and opened a door that led downstairs. To what, a dungeon? It almost seemed possible with the way the rest of his house was looking so far. After descending several stairs I noticed that despite being beneath the ground now, there was actually more visibility. Gackt had a billiard table in one room, a bar in the back, and to the left was … a shooting gallery?
"I thought this would be an interesting addition to my abode, what do you think Hyde? Would you like to try it out? I haven't had the opportunity yet and. Well honestly I'd rather play along with someone. Anyway it would be fantastic practice for our yakuza-styled scenes in the movie, don't you think?"
I had toned Gackt out a while ago once I noticed all the lavish (oh yes, they certainly were) posters hanging about the room. Posters of Gackt himself. Promotions for magazines, books or CD shoots…I'm not sure what they all stood for but they surrounded the area and I couldn't tear my eyes away from them.
I moved in closer to get a better look, my mouth hanging open like a hungry baby as I openly gaped, taking time to ogle each image for their own beauty. I'm not sure when exactly the change in me took place but somewhere along the way I went from thinking Gackt was just a stage whore sell-out to realizing just how beautiful a creature he really was. Sure he was overly conceited but if I looked as good as him I probably would be too. (and trust me, I already was somewhat conceited as was.)
It's as if I suddenly forgot that I was in Gackt's basement and I was once again a horny teenager, drooling over the latest magazine I was able to get my hands on. Yes, my hands – I reached up and started to trace the outline of a particular image. The line of Gackt's body was so graceful that I couldn't resist reaching up to touch it, as if I thought I might actually feel something. I was so lost in my own world that I barely noticed Gackt sidling up behind me, closely behind me.
"Do you like it, Hyde?" I felt his warm breath over my ear but I was still in too much of a trance, feeling almost hypnotized as I continued to stare at the image. "That's from my most recent photoshoot."
As Gackt began to talk about himself I suddenly snapped back to reality and noticed that not only was he directly behind me, but his arm was now brushing against my own, and I had no idea what he was planning to do next. I didn't want to act hastily and I was fairly sure that trying to step back wouldn't be the smartest move. Instead I slowly slid to my right, pretending to look at the other posters with enthusiasm, albeit not nearly as much.
I was aware that my reaction a few minutes ago was a close-call and decided to change the topic, acting as though I were suddenly interested in seeing the shooting gallery up close. Gackt was still leaning against the wall near the tantalizing photo. He was wearing a satisfying smirk as he eyed me closely and I couldn't help but scratch my head in nervousness. I didn't want it to appear that way though so I casually leaned along the pool table. This, however, caused Gackt to raise an eyebrow and stare at me more deeply, doing that 'undress with the eyes' act, I was pretty sure.
"At least put this pool table to some use, ne?" I struck up conversation, intimidated by Gackt's watchful eyes. "Come on, challenge me,"
Now I was taking the upper hand. I leaned on the pool table, in a manner that caused my cleavage to pop out, that is… it would if I had any cleavage. Gackt was eyeing me even more lasciviously than before. I was only bringing this on myself now. Gackt stood up and made his way toward me and I tensed up a bit. He leaned in, slowly inching toward my face and I tried to stay brave, acting as calm as possible though I'm sure with how close Gackt's face was to mine he could see my lip trembling as much as I could feel it. His eyelids lowered and mine mimicked his. His lips began to form a pout and all my attention was drawn to them… Egoiste filled my head again.
"There's still so much of the house to see yet, Hyde." Gackt softly said and then smiled and pulled away, leaving me with my eyes closed and my lips pouted as if… oh God, was I really expecting him to kiss me? As the smell of Egoiste drifted away I quickly became aware and cleared my throat, following Gackt up the stairs out of his dungeon. As I walked up I couldn't help my eyes from trailing to the tight ass my hands were on only hours earlier. It also appeared that through those tight snakeskin pants that he was wearing a… thong? I had read such things but was it really true? Part of me was starting to become determined to find out while the rest of my brain resisted heavily.
Gackt led me around other parts of his house; the kitchen, the sunglasses room (yes, Gackt has such a thing), the music studio, the grand room where he housed one of his pianos, the yard out back, which we only briefly looked at, and so on. There were probably two of each of the rooms a normal house would contain and each was overtly decorated and adorned.
The part of me that suddenly had The Thong Song in my head was also curious to see what the bedroom would look like. If the rest of his home was this lavish, the bedroom was probably what wet dreams are made of. I was actually starting to gain the courage to ask about it (bold, I know) when Gackt suddenly turned to face me, shocking the question out of my head with how wide his eyes looked.
"There is one place I haven't showed you yet, Hyde," Gackt said, his hands finding the sides of my arms and gripping tightly. Wow, he was bringing up the bedroom question all on his own and he seemed way too excited about it… He grabbed my hand and began to lead me along.
Wait, wait, wait… Suddenly my script reading with Gackt was turning into a seedy dorama right before my eyes.
"Gackt!" I quickly said, interrupting him as he led me around like a horny teenager. "Maybe we should get back to the script, I mean, there's still a lot to go and it's already starting to get dark outside,"
Gackt smiled softly at me. "You're right, Hyde. But we're practically there already. Are you sure you don't want to see…" Gackt extended an arm and I noticed we were standing outside the same living room we started in. He was pointing right at the glass wall. My eyes probably lit up because Gackt's smile widened as he looked at me. He walked back towards the glass wall and made a door magically appear. I was all ready to step in but a small waft of steam came out from the room so I waited until Gackt's form stepped through it and cleared a way for me. As I walked in and the smoke subsided I noted that in the center of the room was… a giant heartshaped bathtub.
Gackt was leaning down, trailing a hand in the water which was apparently hot and ready to be used by the way the steam filled the room. Oh of course. It figures someone as extravagant as Gackt would be the person to have a giant heartshaped bathtub, just as the type you'd expect to see in the seediest of love hotels. I tried to hold back my laughter but it was near impossible. Just as I was about to let out a chuckle I noted the way Gackt was lying aside his giant heartshaped bathtub, lifting droplets of water and staring at me. I swallowed the laughter and cleared my throat.
"I think the steam is getting to me," I casually said and stepped out. I wiped my brow as I left the room, beginning to wonder if it was just from the warm room or the way I just caught Gackt looking at me. I made my way back to the couch, drowning the rest of my brandy in one fast slosh. I was pouring more and raising it to my mouth when I sensed Gackt behind me.
"Hyde," he started, again standing very close. "Are you hungry? I was thinking of ordering something to eat for us as we prepare to continue."
"Ordering?" I questioned. Gackt orders out? I quickly eyed his skinny, fit body. There's no way…
"Yes, my chefs are on stand-by to cook us up something fabulous. How does unagi onigiri with miso sound?"
Chefs. Of course he has chefs.
"Oh," I started. "Well sure that sounds delicious!" I said, taking a sip of my fourth (at least I think it was the fourth…well maybe it was my second foruth) brandy.
"Fantastic. Let me give them a ring to get it started." As Gackt went to the phone on the side of his room and hit the call button to order our supper, I realized, with a glance at the stack of script paper still lying at my spot on the couch that I was probably going to be here for a while yet. I went to my cell phone, thinking I should probably call home. But before I could Gackt was snatching the cell phone from my hand. "Who are you calling?" he asked, engaging with my phone as though it belonged to him.
"N-no one, I just was… checking the time," I lied. Gackt was busy finding something on my phone so I peeked over to see just what he was doing. He leered at me and showed me the screen with his contact name open. He had made some additions to it, including hearts around his name, a speed-dial contact and was all ready to add his photo as well. I smirked and stole it back from him.
"Why don't we head to the dining room now, yes?" I nodded and followed him out.
After dinner (which was incredibly delicious. So much that I accidentally let out a few gratifying sounds which Gackt seemed all too amused to be hearing) we went back to the living room, poured some more brandy, and began work on the script once more.
Eventually we finished that first bottle of brandy and Gackt graciously pulled out another. The script got more lively (ok, the writing and dialogue itself was still just as bland as when I started reading, but the alcohol enhanced everything we were doing and saying) and we lost track of time.
At one point Gackt moved to a couch in the side of the room and with the push of a button, it extended out to a full length bed, which he reclined on with the laptop on his stomach as he read along the script. I had used that opportunity to stretch out over the other leather couch. The brandy was warm in my throat and I had long ago lost count on what glass I was on. All I knew is that our voices were more slurred and we were attacking the script at a slower pace. It was nearing the end of the movie now, or at least the scene we had just finished reading certainly indicated that.
Gackt continued to read, narrate, and describe in detail the scenes as we came upon them. But his voice seemed to be quieter or my ears were giving out or the brandy was just taking over too much. Likely the latter of the three.
"Hyde, that's your line," I suddenly heard Gackt say.
"Huh? Oh…" I glanced down at my script and realized that I couldn't see it anymore. I flicked the Zippo lighter; the casing was hot but the lighter was empty. "aa I can't see my script,"
Gackt turned his laptop so the light was reflecting on his face. "We're nearly finished now. You could read the rest of it from my screen."
I tossed the last remaining papers off my lap and made my way to the couch-turned-bed, seating myself close enough to Gackt that I could read my line from his laptop. Gackt again continued into detailed scenery and I realized just how tired I was. So it only seemed fitting that my next line was,
"Nandaka tsukareta na, sukoshi meru yo." (I'm so tired, let me rest a little) and as soon as I said so, my eyes fell shut and my head tilted back to rest along a soft pillow.
It worked out, since that was my last line in the film. Gackt mentioned how there would be a song at this point, something poignant that would have meaning throughout the entire film. As he continued to drone on and read out the rest of the film, I drifted into a heavier sleep.
--
My eyes opened slowly and my blurry vision soon cleared. I had a slight headache and I groaned, rubbing my head. But nothing could prepare me for what happened next.
Because when I stretched my neck, rolling my head to each side, I was presented with the gorgeous face of Gackt, only a mere few inches away from mine.
Somehow I managed not to scream aloud but as I gasped, I inhaled too deeply and almost started to cough uncontrollably. I had my hands over my mouth, trying my best to conceal the noise. I sat up slowly and instantly the first thing my mind told me was to check my status.
All my clothing was still on. Thank god.
However, there was something else of matter that needed to be taken care of. The usual morning… problem. I kept telling myself it had nothing to do with waking up in a bed with the most gorgeous Japanese artist ever and I was able to reassure myself that watching the Nature channel at this time in the morning was enough to give me the same problem. Although that thought wasn't very reassuring either. The curse of being male. Anyway I knew I needed to leave and take care of it privately but first, my scattered mind was trying to piece together how I got here to begin with.
I glanced around the room and the surroundings started to feel familiar again when my eyes locked on the coffee table. Two empty bottles of brandy and that damned script. Oh yeah, I recalled, that's how.
I wasn't exactly calm but Kami-sama only knows how things would go once Gackt woke up. All I knew at this point was that I had to get out of this bed. So I slowly sat up, praying to the gods that it won't disturb Gackt and swung my legs over the side. Just as I was exhaling the breath I didn't know I was holding, I felt a pinch in my left side and blurted out, a little too loudly, "Itai!"
Oh shit. I clamped my mouth shut. All that careful work and quietness and I just ruined it because of a pinch of pain. Hopefully Gackt was still asleep but I couldn't run on hope – I had to know. So I slowly turned around to face him only to find him looking back at me.
I blanched. He had the most satisfying smirk ever, enough to make me worry, despite the fact I was fully clothed. His one arm was propping up his head and his other was outreached and… oh. That's what that pinch was.
"Ohayo, Hyde. Genki?" He asked.
Genki? Genki ja nai! I wanted to shout back. But instead I gave him a small smile.
"I hope you slept well" he continued. "Are you hungry? My cooks are probably already putting together our breakfast." Our breakfast?
As he sat up my eyes instantly trailed down his wonderful pecs and perfect abs and watched the sheet slide slowly down, past his belly button and just a little bit more before stopping. Damn. This was not helping the morning wood.
"I usually workout first thing in the morning but since you're here, I'll skip that for the time being and I'm going to go take my shower," he mentioned, and while I heard what he said (and I believe I may have nodded in response), I couldn't help but stare at his perfectly toned body. Gackt is the real deal. I could hardly believe it myself and yet here I was, eyeing it up for all it was worth and not only that, but I was sharing a bed with his perfect body. Countless people would kill to be in my position.
Of course at the moment I would have killed to get out of it… because I couldn't stop my tongue from jutting out of my mouth just the slightest bit to wet my lips as I stared, waiting for him to get up and go to that shower. What was he wearing under there? Boxers, a thong… nothing at all? I blushed at the thought and then I looked up to Gackt's face and he was smiling devilishly at me, almost as if I just said everything aloud. Good god, I didn't say it aloud did I?!
"I… I'm going to go use your restroom," I said and quickly excused myself, thankful that I had to travel in the other direction and could successfully hide my growing pain. Surprisingly I was able to locate the bathroom quickly.
Oh, there are 68 tiles on that bathroom ceiling, for those who were wondering.
As I came back to the living room-turned-sex-den, I was greeted by Gackt exiting his bathtub room at precisely the exact same time – damp hair, toned chest glistening with water beads and bottom half only barely covered with a towel.
I crossed my hands over the front of my pants, trying to conceal myself and act as normal as possible. Dammit I thought I just took care of this!
"Oh Hyde, I am sorry," Gackt began apologizing, running his hand through wet strands of hair.
"Sorry?" What did he mean by that? Sorry that he is getting me involved in this sucky movie? Sorry that he got me drunk and I slept in his bed? Sorry that he was causing me the most painful erection I've had in years?
"Yes, I had meant to invite you to shower-"
"Aaa!" I said and quickly sat down on the couch behind me, grabbing the heavy script and pulling it onto my lap. It wasn't helping the pain but hopefully it would shield rather than attract Gackt's eyes.
"You're welcome to take one if you'd like, there are fresh towels and everything."
I bowed to him as he disappeared and seriously considered it. A cold shower would be good right about now. I try to think things that are boring or disgust me; such as soccer, pollution, Megumi's home cooking…
As I was making a list in my head of all the most annoying things I could think of, Gackt appeared in front of me once more in his skintight leather pants and an unbuttoned animal print shirt.
"Well if you won't take a shower then at least let me get you a fresh shirt,"
"Oh no, it's ok. You probably won't have anything to fit me," I started to protest, but Gackt didn't appear to be listening. I hated to point out the fact that I was so small. I hated having someone like Gackt feeling as though he had to wait on me. I hated—
I really hated the shirt Gackt was holding in front of me. It was a mesh of darker fire-toned colors, wilder than anything I've worn and yet it was really small and I couldn't imagine it ever fitting Gackt's tall, long frame.
"I never even had a chance to wear it. Bought it a while back and as soon as I took it to be washed, the dry cleaner shrunk it,"
"Why would you have held onto it for so long?" I asked, my hands over the heavy script that feeled as though it were constricting the blood from flowing through the veins in my thighs.
Gackt smirked again. "I thought it would fit you perfectly,"
I blinked. So Gackt was telling me he held onto this shirt for years just for the sake of giving it to me someday? … Yet again he was feeling like my worst stalker.
"Here, let me help you put it on," he said, taking the script from my lap before I even had a chance to react. I started to cross my legs hoping to hide any evidence but Gackt was grabbing me by the arms and quickly stood me up. He was looking at my face, which I was grateful for, but then I noticed something change in his eyes, even behind the bright blue contacts he always wore.
He swung the extra shirt over his shoulder and reached for the top button of my shirt but I swatted at his hands to push away and he swiped right back at me. It was like a mother trying to dress their child. We repeated the action again as Gackt tried to undo my top button. He sighed and looked into my eyes and as I got caught up trying to glance behind his contacts again, I noticed that he had already done the top two buttons.
It was the strangest thing to be standing there as Gackt slowly undid my shirt. I've always been independent. I don't even remember my mother dressing me and here I was, a grown man having another grown man make me feel helpless.
As he neared the end of my shirt I started to blush, realizing that soon there would be no way to hide the bulge in my pants, which was once again growing. My shirt tails would no longer help me cover it.
I looked up at Gackt and he was staring into my eyes, smiling at me as he unhooked the buttons with ease. He was nearing the final two and looked down, slowly taking them apart. It was then that I noticed Gackt was truly enjoying this, as my own eyes looked down and I caught site of his own excitement through his leather pants.
I don't think it ever took me that long to undo six buttons.
I looked back up at Gackt's face and became aware that he was openly eyeing my body through the shirt, as if it were some hidden treasure. I stood nervously, unsure what to do and unable to speak. Suddenly his arms were on my shoulders and he was turning me away from him. Now my back was to him and all I could think were horrors of how my life was suddenly turning into a yaoi manga.
I sighed slightly, feeling a little better that at least the blaringly obvious fact I was enjoying this was now hidden from his view. Slowly I felt my shoulders grow cold as Gackt began to slide my shirt off and down my back, but it suddenly paused, the sleeves hanging around my elbows. And then I felt the slightest awareness of fingers along my back. Gackt began to gingerly trace the lines of my wings tattoo and I could feel the goosebumps appearing along my body at his touch.
Despite the cool sensation I was getting from Gackt's fingers, I was suddenly feeling warm inside and a warm breath over my left ear. "These are so beautiful," Gackt whispered. All my senses were enveloping together and I had to hold back a moan.
"When I first noticed these at your concert, I couldn't help but think how perfect an addition they were to your body, Hyde,"
When he cooed my name, my whole body tingled under his touch.
"How long did it take you to get these done?" he said. The warmth left my neck but his fingers continued to slowly line along my back, as if he were the one drawing them there.
"Um," I started, trying to steady my voice. "I think it was about 4 hours," I answered, exhaling slowly to even my breathing. But just as it was starting to work I heard Gackt make the slightest moan and my heart started to race. I felt his breath along my ears and neck again and a full warmth behind me. Gackt was closing in…
If you didn't think things were getting sexual between us before now, this would be the point to believe that it has. Most surely, it has.
"Mmm so you spent four hours, on your stomach, under a pulsating needle," Gackt whispered.
My eyes fell shut as Gackt moved in directly behind me. It felt as though we couldn't possibly be standing any nearer to each other and even as that thought filled my head, I felt myself leaning back into his touch and body behind mine. It was entirely evident to me now just how aroused he was…
"I admire your endurance, Hyde," he drew out my name and again I was biting back a moan.
Then, just as things were starting to feel really good and I was near ready to take that leap, turn around, and jump his bones…
"I'm going to go check on our breakfast," Gackt said and tossed the shirt on my head. I turned around and he was gone.
He's amazing at seduction and foreplay (wow, has it really been that long for me that I'm calling this foreplay? sad.) but when it comes to sealing the deal, he sucks.
And not in the way I could really use right now.
Now I was thinking about boring sports games, whale poaching and that time Megumi tried to make tofu smoothies, as I discarded my blouse to the ground and put on Gackt's surprisingly-well-fitting shirt.
--
I soon joined Gackt in the kitchen and we enjoyed a lavish breakfast, one of which I'm not used to eating. I stuffed my face, uncaring what Gackt may think of my eating habits. He ate daintily, looking up to watch me every once in a while.
After I felt fully satiated, I leaned back and thanked him for everything. "This has been… too much. I mean really, it's been an interesting time staying here with you. And this breakfast was wonderful, Gackt," I stood up and grabbed my jacket which had been hanging on the chair behind me.
Gackt's eyebrows rose as he watched me. "All this and I'm back to being just Gackt again?" he said with a mock frown.
I didn't understand what he was getting on about. "Wh—what do you mean?" I said sliding on my jacket with a lil smile.
"Last night you called me… wait what was it – Oh yes; Gacchan."
Gacchan? I called him a sickenly sweet petname like that? What – when? I don't remember doing that. Good lord, what else did I do that I didn't remember? I think Gackt could tell by my face that I had no recollection of the nickname.
Gackt stood up and walked over to me as I made sure my pockets had all the contents I had entered with yesterday afternoon, minus two dead lighters.
"You don't remember doing that, do you Hyde?" he asked, fixing the collar of my jacket and making me feel uncomfortable like a kid again.
"I have to say I don't. I think the brandy went straight to my head," I said with a small laugh as I moved my own hands in the way of Gackt's and adjusted the collar to my own liking. Gackt put his hands on his hips.
"You said that last night, too," Gackt smiled. My own smile left my face as it was becoming evident that more happened than I now recalled. I swallowed. "And then you waxed on about—yes, it was Sakurazawa. For a long while."
I paled. Oh Kami-sama please tell me I didn't… don't tell me I told him all my deepest, darkest secrets about the things I did with Sakura! It would make sense if I had though, with the way Gackt was acting around me this morning.
"I do hope you'll tell me more sometime, Hyde," Gackt's hand was on my shoulder as he walked me toward the door. "I enjoyed how freely you were speaking with me and… well I must admit that the brandy was swirling in my brain too so I don't remember all too clearly myself!"
I sighed loudly, hoping that most of the juicy bits were the parts he forgot.
"Thanks again for the shirt," I said, tugging at the tightness of it. "I'll wash it when I get home and return it to you."
Gackt started waving his hand. "Nonsense, Hyde. Keep it. It looks fabulous on you,"
Truth is, I was going to toss it in the trash the second I got home.
"Well, thanks again." I said and stepped through the doorway with a wave.
"Oh Hyde, wait!" Gackt yelled after me, holding up a finger for me to stay where I was. I sighed and looked over to my car, safely sitting in the driveway where I left it yesterday. I reached in my back pocket and pulled out my cigarettes before realizing I had no lighters to light one up. I cursed and put the pack back in my coat pocket, just as Gackt was joining me outside, his own cigarette lit and dangling from his mouth.
How I was longing for a taste of sweet nicotine. Gackt hadn't smoked once in his own home and I didn't want to disrespect him by lighting up. Besides all that, I had so many distractions that I nearly forgot about my smokes. But now the craving was stronger than ever and yet again I found myself in a position where Gackt was teasing me.
"Here is the script, with the revisions we spoke about last night. I printed off a full copy for you to take home and look over," He had the giant stack in his hands and was offering it to me but I was too caught up staring at the flaming tip of his tobacco stick.
"Hyde?" Gackt asked, bobbing his head to the side to get my attention.
"Oh, god I'm sorry. It's just, I'm dying for a smoke and all my lighters are empty." Thanks to your goddamn script reading in the black hole last night. "Do you think you could get me a light?" I pulled out my pack of cigarettes and started to slide a stick out when Gackt was pulling his own cigarette from his mouth and putting it in mine.
The shock of the act didn't hit me until later because the sweet taste of tobacco filling my mouth was almost orgasmic. I took a long drag and puffed the smoke out in circles, much to Gackt's amusement. I inhaled and gave another short puff before handing it back to him with thanks and he dropped the 10 pound script in my arms.
I crawled into my car and tossed the huge script in the seat next to me. Gackt was waving from his doorway so I honked and pulled away, blasting my music and being thankful it was a MUCC song I could rock out to.
As I trailed along the road, my hand went to my lips, fingers recalling moments earlier when Gackt shared his cigarette with me. It was evident then that what was happening between us was becoming serious, and quickly. I would be stupid to continue on with this movie because it would only have us ending up in compromising situations from here on out. Already I had started calling Gackt by a ridiculous pet name, spilled way too much personal information, and slept in his bed. Not only that, but the whole act of him undressing me is something that won't leave my mind anytime soon.
I swerved off the road and decided I should pull over. I started reaching for my cigarettes, cursing when I again remembered that I had nothing to light it with. Lying my head on the steering wheel didn't alleviate me however, when the song on my radio started playing none other than... Gackt.
All I could do was picture Gackt – his perfect face, plump lips, those piercing eyes embraced in blue… And his body, that amazing body of his. Not only was he the most beautiful man in Japan, but it appeared that he was attracted to none other than little ol' me. That was something my mind couldn't wrap around. I couldn't understand why he would have any interest in what I presented, let alone wanting me to act in his movie. I had never acted before but Gackt spoke as though he had been thinking of me for his movie for quite a long time. I couldn't help but wonder that he had a deeper intent in all of this.
No, I couldn't do the movie. I pulled back onto the road and decided that as soon as I made it home I was going to call and tell him that I made my decision.
AN: The things happening in this story were put together using real life events, taken from the Gackt FURACHI Radio shows where he invited Hyde and their All Night Nippon radio show from Taiwan. Gackt's old house used to have a glass wall in it which contained a heart-shaped bathtub behind it. It was incessantly dark and there were roses everywhere when Hyde first went to it for the script reading. They often get drunk on brandy together (they were when they recorded Orenji no Taiyou) and Hyde had to read through his script with his lighters. All of this is fact, presented by Gackt and Hyde themselves on various radio shows and television interviews from late 2002 and early 2003. Look it up, you'll enjoy it!
I just drew on that to write out this story, thinking what could have possibly happened.
The next part is Gackt's POV of this same event. If you wish, you can skip ahead to the following chapter.