My spell-checker's out, so any mistakes are not my fault. I tried to use some random online spell check, but it crapped up my internet.

I'm not sure if I like this fic. I love the song i used though, its called Photographic Memory and its by Emilie Autumn.

Disclaimer: i own nothing

Enjoy!

You're not so far away

That's what Near believed when L died. That's what he had to believe. When he was alone, when he could drop the façade he showed the SPK and Light Yagami, he would beg and plead with his deceased mentor for something, anything, that could help him- help him with his loss, and help him defeat Kira. He felt like this task was too big for him…he didn't feel ready to play these mind games with a supernatural killer. So he clung to the belief that L was nearby, to watch over him.

You're sitting in the space between the night and day

And so I'll wait for the sound of your footsteps

He knew it was illogical to rely so heavily on this fantasy. He begun to almost believe L was still alive, and would listen for his footsteps at night, when the rest of the task force were asleep. He was lucky to have the impeccable control he did- these strange daydreams and desperations never jeopardized his position in the SPK. But when he was by himself, deprived of sleep and mind-strained, he found himself actually waiting for L.

The tea that's brewed too strong
The part of me that's waited patiently for oh so long

Near had even gone to the point of making another cup of tea- extra sugar, of course. He set it on the table and expected his mentor to pick it up- he felt so foolish when he remembered. Memories. They were all he had left. Near smiled, set down his own tea, and closed his eyes. He could live in his memories for a while, couldn't he?

At least I try
But I'm relying
On my photographic memory

Near's memory was flawless. Photographic. He reached for the memories of the time spent with L…and couldn't find them? They were fading, fading away from him, and he couldn't make them return.

While painfully realizing
It's not all that it's cracked up to be

But those memories meant more to him than life itself. Maybe he'd overestimated his own memory? Or the memories were really so unremarkable in the first place? For the first time in a long time, Near gave way to chaotic, full-fledged panic. What could he believe in if not his own ability? For the first time in even longer, he gave way to tears.


And falling's just another way to fly

He fell through his despair as if he were only watching from a distance. After the initial panic, he lost his hold on his mind and just let it go. And then he realised- falling was another way to fly, really. If he let himself fall, maybe he could get over all this heartache.


I wonder why it's never easier than
The first time

And then he remembered the first of L's kisses, and he knew that he never would.

Review me? I would dearly LOVE to know if i'm appreciated.