Cloud's Strife

Author's Note: This takes place at the point in the game where the group has decided to spend the night in the Golden Saucer. Depending on how you've treated Tifa or Aeris up to this point one of them will come up and pay Cloud a visit. This is an angsty little look at Cloud's thoughts right before that point as he is lying in his hotel room. i.e. I'm a sucker for angst and tragic inner monologues as you've no doubt noticed from my other works! What's dialogue? ;-)

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters or premise of FINAL FANTASY VII

Cloud lay in his bed looking up at the ceiling of his hotel room in the Gold Saucer. The Goth decor would have usually amused him. But at a time like this, it could not even offer a simple distraction. They had been chasing Sephiroth for what seemed like an eternity; he was fatigued and aching and all he wanted was five seconds of peace.

He closed his eyes and tried to block out the colorful lights and sounds of the casino outside his window. He was jealous of the people down there having fun, blissfully unaware that at any moment the world could end. No, the honor of all that worry had been placed on his shoulders. As much as he liked to think there was nothing he couldn't handle, he had to admit this might be just beyond the reach of his capabilities. Even with his team around him, he wondered if it was all for nothing. As he continued to lay there, his eyes closed and his hands behind his head on a large spider-shaped pillow, he found that the thoughts of his quest to save the planet grew fainter. Before he knew it, they had been replaced instead with an image of Aeris.

Cloud had never been an emotional person. Even as a child, he'd been the outsider, keeping emotions hidden. But for some reason, Aeris made him feel rushes of...something. She puzzled him. She appeared to flirt, but was she just toying with him?

They were as different as two people could be. She was a sweet flower girl from the slums, and he was a rough and tumble, brooding ex-member of SOLDIER. First Class, he added proudly to himself. What connection could he possibly feel with her? Yet, there it was, as unexplainable as it was mysterious. It sometimes felt as if he had known her all his life.

With that thought, the image of Aeris faded into someone he had known his whole life. In his dream-like state, his mouth tightened and his forehead wrinkled as he pictured his best friend. He couldn't help but feel warmth in his heart for Tifa. They'd grown up together in Nibelheim, and when Cloud was the loner, Tifa had been the only one to bother reaching out to him. Tifa was the only person in his life that he had truly trusted. She'd been the first, and it ended up, only person he'd told about his plan to join SOLDIER before he had run away. Now, here she was willing to risk her life along side of him. But, how much was for the cause and how much was for him? He would be lying if he said he wasn't grateful for her. Her presence was a comfort, something he could hold on to during this time when everything was falling apart. Was this the kind of love one felt for his sister? Or was this something deeper?

He had the assurance that she could love him in return, something he could never read from Aeris.

Damn it! He thoughtThis was not how he should be spending his time. He should be sleeping, or if not that, coming up with strategy . . a map . . something! There was no time to think about love triangles and mixed signals like some teenager in school. He should just forget them both. But even as he thought it, he knew he couldn't

Just then, there was a knock at the door, snapping Cloud from his thoughts. He waited with baited breath in the silence. The person knocked again, this time louder. It was one of them, he knew it. What he didn't know was what he was going to say to them. All these emotions, love, caring; it was all so confusing. Battle was so much easier. You know what to do and when to do it. Now, he didn't know what to do because he had no idea what he needed.

Suddenly, the person who'd been knocking had gotten tired of waiting, and was now turning the knob. He was trapped...

The End

Author's Note: it's up to you now! Play the game, I highly recommend it and I don't like video games. Thanks for reading!