Hi guys! I just got into Uragiri wa Boku no Namae wo Shitteiru! It's awesome! Either way, I finally found something I could write in a fic. SPOILER WARNING! If you haven't seen episode 9 of the anime you might want to before reading this little one-shot. This was inspired by episode 9 and is pretty much my way of seeing some of the events that happened. When I first saw all of the fics under this fandom, I thought "why are there so many ones for Hotsuma and Shusei, and almost nothing on Luka and Yuki?" Originally, I wanted to do something for Yuki and Luka, but Shusei and Hotsuma just jumped out at me. So, here goes! Please enjoy and review!

*Note: italics (this slanty writing) means either flashback or thoughts.

-Saph

Renjo Hotsuma hates Yuki. That's what he tells himself and how he acts, but the truth is different. It's not that he hates Yuki. He hates what Yuki reminds him of. That gentle attitude and the willingness to help others, it reminds him of how he used to be.

It reminds him of when it all started. And that trip down memory lane is anything but pleasant. Those memories stir now as he looks at Yuki and is told the most horrible news he can fathom. Shusei is gone.

He couldn't stand it. He couldn't just stand there and watch as they did this. Without thinking, he runs over and shields the one on the ground. The bullies don't care. They keep kicking. Hotsuma realizes that they don't care what it is, as long as they are causing pain, they are happy. That thought gets his blood boiling and in that instant he wishes that the bullies would die. Well, not die. His exact thought is 'burn in hell!'. He doesn't think it will do anything, it's just a thought, right?

Sadly, that thought becomes a reality. Hotsuma watches in horror as the bullies are engulfed in flame. Their screams of agony are burned into his mind. It's like a curse from beyond the veil. He'll never be able to rid himself of those screams.

"Y-You…"

Hotsuma looks down and sees the boy he just saved. The boy has tears in his eyes. Hotsuma is about to get up and ask if the boy is okay, but the next remark shocks him.

"Y-YOU'RE A MONSTER! GET AWAY FROM ME!" The boy screams.

Hotsuma leaps away. Tears are in his eyes. No. NO! He just saved this boy! Why is he mad at him? What did he do wrong?

Now the adults are coming in. They crowd around and stare while they talk amongst themselves. The boy gets up and runs to the protective arms of his mother. She begins fussing over him. Whether she is aware of it or not, she unconsciously shields her child from Hotsuma.

"Mommy, mommy! That-I-Is he a monster?" The boy asks tearfully.

"Yes, son. Stay away from him!" The woman exclaims.

Hotsuma is standing. Tears flow from his eyes as he hears the adults talking.

"Monster!"

"Get away from us!"

"Leave! No one wants you here!"

"Go away!"

Hotsuma doesn't know what to do. He runs away from there. Tears flow from his eyes but he doesn't care. He runs to home. That's right, home. It's safe there, right? He can run home and his parents will hug him and make him feel safe, right?

Sadly, that's not the case. As soon as his house comes into view he can see the silhouette of his mother standing at the door. She is waiting for him. She's going to wrap him in a warm hug as soon as he runs to her. That's what he thinks, but the truth Is different.

He runs up the doorstep and tries to rush into her arms, but she flinches and backs away. He looks up at her questioningly but she just shakes and stares at her with the same eyes the crowd did. Eyes full of fear, hate, and more fear.

That was the first time he ever used his powers. He was young then, and didn't know that little boys weren't supposed to have the power to set people on fire. If he had known, he would have never done it. Heck, he didn't even know of his powers before then! Why was he cursed with this? Why does he have to be the one that's different? Because of his powers, his parents won't even look at him anymore! He wants to see their smiling eyes again, not the fear filled ones they look at him with now. He wants his family back. He wants a happy family.

He sits on the couch as he listens to his mother talk to people over the phone. All of them complain about him and tell her to off him or something. She agrees with them as though he can't hear her. Hotsuma knows that if she knew he could hear her, she'd lie and say she loved her adorable little boy. The fact that she thinks he can't hear her is proof that these are her true feelings.

He feels his sadness well up again when that realization hits. Without thinking, he runs out the door. It is raining, but he doesn't care. There's only one place left for him. This is his last resort. This is the last person he has to rely on. If this person were to turn against him too, he could just die.

He knocks on the door. The door swings open and he buries his head in the person's shoulder. He is glad that it was him that answered the door.

Usui Shusei.

"Hotsuma? What's wrong, Hotsuma?" Shusei asks.

Even as he asks, he has his arms around his younger friend. He rubs his back to try to comfort him and coax him to lift his head. He feels something hand on his back and understands why Hotsuma won't raise his head. He understands and doesn't ask him to.

"They know. Shusei, they know! They know I set people on fire!" Hotsuma cries.

Shusei's eyes widen, but that's as far as his calm breaks. He returns to normal and tightens his arms around his shaken friend. He needs to be strong for his friend.

He knows what Hotsuma is talking about. They both know what it all means but this was the first time Hotsuma used his ability.

"T-They called me a monster! I don't want to be a monster! Why? Why can't I just be human?" Hotsuma cries.

Shusei rubs his back.

"It's alright. You're not a monster. I'm here."

He doesn't care how long it takes, he'll stand here, in the cold open doorway, until his friend stops crying.

"He's a monster. I don't want him here! Why do we have to live in fear everyday for his sake? Why can't we just off him?"

"I know how you feel-"

"NO! You don't! We always have to monitor his mood! We always have to be careful! I don't want to burn to death!"

"I know. I feel the same way. The Giou organization will take him away soon. We just have to put up with it until then."

"I-It's creepy…living with a monster!"

Hotsuma hears all this. He is a teen now. He is standing in the doorway, listening as his parents reveal their true feelings about him. He came home from school early. That's not really the case. He skipped the rest of it because he got tired of all of them avoiding him.

He looks at the ground sadly. He's always known that his parents feel this way, but nothing hurts more than hearing the truth. That's when he realizes what he must do. He slips out of the house and heads back to school.

He's not going back for class, but for something else. When he gets there, he goes up the stairs. Near the very top, there's a landing with a window. It's always dark here. This is where the janitor stores his tools. Here should be good enough. Actually, this is too good a place for a monster like him, but it will have to do.

Closing his eyes, he lets his power go. He lets the flames surround him. Ah, he should have done this a long time ago. That's what he thinks to himself. He won't have to hurt anybody anymore. He won't have to burn anyone. He won't have to hear another person call him a monster. He will be free.

"HOTSUMA!"

He feels thin arms wrap around his chest. He turns and sees Shusei.

"Idiot! Let go! You'll be burned too!" Hotsuma yells.

"I won't let go. If you're going to do this, then we'll never see each other again! If you still want to die after hearing that, then take me with you!" Shusei yells as he wraps his arms tighter around his friend.

Hotsuma's eyes widen. He watches as Shusei's face contorts in pain as the fire slowly and painfully consumes him.

'No! I don't want to hurt anyone anymore! I don't want to hurt anyone else! Especially not…"

He manages to stop the fire. Shusei's arms slip from around his shoulders and the older boy slumps to the floor.

"Shusei!" Hotsuma yells.

He kneels and begins to examine Shusei. He pleads with every fiber of his being that Shusei is alright. He chokes on a sob when he sees the burns. He covers his mouth as tears stream down his face.

"S-Shusei…I-I'm so sorry!" He cries.

Shusei was always there for him. He was even willing to die with him. And, because he was so stupid, he ended up marking his best friend with a scar that will not fade.

They've always been together. Hotsuma acts strong and always acts like he doesn't need anybody, but the truth is that he does need someone. He needs someone to hold him together. Shusei. He needs Shusei. He always has and always will need him. He only acts strong. Without Shusei, he's just a nervous, weak, and pitiful monster. Shusei was the first to accept him. Shusei was the one that saved him.

That's why he screams now. He screams at the loss of his best friend and rock. Shusei was everything to him. Without Shusei, he really is a monster. He's a monster on the verge of a mental breakdown. Shusei stopped all that. When he was with Shusei, everything was fine. He kept it together. Now that he is gone, he can't keep up the façade any longer.

The End.

Please review!