A/N: This is part 2 of 3 in my series. I highly recommend going back and reading the previous installment, Kyle in Kanto first. As the title suggests, this is the lost chapters I wrote after having finished 75% of the next story, Shonna in Sinnoh. In addition, the title also alludes to some of the feelings of the main character during this time.

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon.

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Prologue: Resisting the Urge!

I knew I'd made a mistake from the moment he disappeared from view. My heart suddenly lurched, and the slow breaking that had been going on all day intensified. It actually physically hurt, like I never knew it could.

I leaned over the railing at the back of the ferry. I've never had trouble with seasickness, but now I felt as if I were going throw up right off the side of the ship. I looked up from the choppy water, to see that none of the Kanto region was in sight. The ferry was heading north, the sky was darkening, no one else was on the deck, and with each passing minute I felt more and more sick. I felt raindrops begin to hit my face, washing away the tears.

"Lu!" Riolu sat on my shoulder, looking surprised at the raindrop that fell on his nose.

The darkness only made me feel lonelier. I began to slip into my thoughts of Kyle. I found myself already daydreaming of the moments we shared. The simple things were what I missed the most now. Instead of being on this cold and wet ship, I'd love to be huddled by a campfire as he fixes a pot of beef stew, or spaghetti. I could almost smell his cooking, even in the salty air.

I wanted to be back in the pokemon center, getting ready for bed, fighting over who got to brush their teeth first.

I longed to be back on those docks outside Lavender Town, walking side by side under a veil of moonlight that reflected in the waters around us.

I stared into the seawater below. There was no reflection of the moon. The dark clouds above made sure to hide it.

I remembered just about an hour earlier, when I was telling him I was going to leave. Of course it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to throw my arms around him and tell I'd go anywhere with him, but I didn't. I left, and I kept telling myself at the time that it's what I had to do.

Another pain erupted through my heart. I was slowly losing my resolve.

"Why did I do it Riolu?" I whispered. "What possessed me to leave now, when we had gotten so close? Was that what I was scared of? To get closer? Is that why I ran from him?" I leaned over the edge of the ship again. I could hear thunder in the distance now. "What am I doing?" Tears welled up in my eyes, making it almost impossible to see inside my purse. I was frantically searching for Vaporeon's pokeball. "I've got to go back!" I grabbed at the pokeball in the bottom of the bag, when a wave jerked the boat to a hard left. I toppled over, making me and Riolu fall on the slippery floor. Vaporeon's pokeball tumbled out of my hand, rolling down the deck.

When I made no attempt to move, Riolu ran on all four paws after the ball. "Lu! Lu!"

I laid my head down on my arm, turning it to look at the other end of the ferry. I didn't see Riolu around, but a young sailor boy, probably only a year older than me approached.

"Miss." The boy reached out his hand to help me. "You shouldn't be out here. You need to get to your room. A storm is coming."

I stood up, refusing to take his help. Once he saw my face, the boy stepped back a bit. Perhaps he'd never seen a girl cry. I could see Riolu now coming back with the pokeball clenched in his jaws. He ran on all fours up my body, climbing up to my shoulder, and dropped the pokeball into my tote bag. "Riolu. You're taking care of me better than I am myself."

"Lu." Riolu smiled.

"I'm supposed to be taking care of you." I pet his head. "I need to be the adult here."

"Miss." I'd almost forgotten the sailor boy was still there. "Can I help you in any way?"

"No thanks." I said coldly. "I don't need anyone." I walked off toward the stairs, knowing it wasn't true. With each step I had to struggle not to turn around and make a flying leap off the deck. I'd almost followed my heart a moment ago, but my brain told me there was no way we'd work out anyway.

I trudged down the stairs, finally remembering why I'd made this decision in the first place. "Riolu, for the longest time, I had a one-sided crush on Kyle. He always teased me about it too. He made jokes like he liked me, but I know I was nothing more than a friend or companion to him. Every single time he played on like he liked me, it only hurt me more to know it wasn't real."

"Lu?" Riolu looked confused at my conversation with him. He probably was, but it helped to have him listen.

"He's going on to compete in another league, but I have a job to get back to. I have to go back and run the day-care center. I have to take care of all the pokemon. I have to move on with my life, just as he will with his." I pulled open the door to my room on the boat. It was quaint, with a bunk bed that reminded me of the pokemon centers, and a single porthole to gaze out. I closed the door behind me and flopped down on the bottom bed. Riolu leaped to the top. "I have to pretend I didn't fall in love with a pokemon master."