She stared out into the darkness of space, watching the light from a nearby sun as they orbited, one of this solar systems, planets slowly. She turned a small box in her hand slowly, her eyes almost glazed over. Her mind was deep in thought and the silence of her room kept her mind trapped within her reflections. Smuggling, she thought to herself, still turning the small box rhythmically, What a far cry from my former occupation. A small smile appeared on her lips, What would he think? she wondered as she closed her eyes and imagined her former employer. His white Admiral's uniform was perfect, not a wrinkle or medal out of place. She could still see him, clear as day, as if she had never left his side. He sat in his command chair with holographic art displayed around the room, and calmly issued her orders.
She stopped spinning the box and clenched it tight in her hand, her eyes closing harder and her jaw setting. Why! she though to herself angrily. She had asked herself this question so many times over the last two years. Secretly cursing him for never allowing her to go after Luke Skywalker or Leia Solo. Every time she had mentioned it he would merely raise his hand to cut her off her impassioned pleas and say "no". She tightened her grip on the box letting the edges of it dig into her flesh. A part of herself hated him for holding her back, and she knew, without a doubt, that he would be alive today if he had just unleashed her.
She took a deep breath and sighed loudly. No, she thought to herself. She wouldn't do this, because she had no one else to blame but herself for his death. She had seen him, she had seen the traitor move towards him and her whole body had frozen. She had reacted too late and it had cost her the only person that she had ever looked up to. The man that had saved her life over twelve years ago, when the Emperor had her on the ground crying out in agony. Thrawn had stepped forward as she writhed in pain and asked that she be placed under his care.
Her lip trembled as she remembered the relief she had felt when he halted the torturous jolts of electricity that were surging through her body. It had been the first time in her entire life that she had cried. Yet, she had felt such overwhelming gratitude for the blue-skinned alien, that she couldn't contain her emotions. The pain had been nothing compared to the compassion that this man had shown her. It had been the first glimpse of compassion she had ever been shown. He changed her life that day, and she would always be in his debt.
The comm on her desk buzzed loudly and she was sharply pulled out of her reminiscence. She put her hand back to grip the edge of her desk and sighed as her other hand reached up to wipe away the single tear that had fallen down her cheek. She took a a few deep breaths and collected herself before tapping the button on her comm. "Yes?" she said sharply into the speaker.
"Commander, there is a ship on an approach vector and claim that they have a package for you," said the voice of the her young XO, Rayne.
"Oh really," she said her voice sounding genuinely surprised, "what kind of package?"
"They didn't say, Commander. They... well, they only said that it was from," he broke off nervousness entering his voice and she frowned to herself. Rayne may have been only twenty, but he was a good XO and she had never known him to be nervous. "From?" she asked, slight annoyance beginning to creep into her voice.
"Grand Admiral Thrawn."
The boy had said his name so fast that the she was almost certain that she had heard him incorrectly. "Who?" she asked, her voice now riddled with emotion as shock settled into every corner of her body.
She heard him swallow audibly as he replied slowly this time, "Grand Admiral Thrawn, Ma'am."
She gasped, almost too softly to hear as a cold shiver shot through her.
Not possible, she thought.
She shivered once as goosebumps rose on her skin. She leaned forward and put both hands on her desk trying to shake off the nerves. When she was satisfied that her throat wouldn't close up, she issued the order with a calm voice, "Allow the package to be transferred to our ship as long as there are no detectable signs of weapons or a bomb... or any other hazardous materials."
"Yes, Ma'am," he replied.
Silence returned to her quarters and the only sound she could hear was her own labored breathing. She slumped back into her chair, placing her head in her hands, Thrawn?, she thought, How? He is…dead. She swallowed and her body shook gently as her mind wandered to the possibilities. He had always planned ahead. She knew that. It was one of the things that had made him such a genius. He foresaw nearly every possible outcome and planned accordingly. Perhaps, he had some plan for her to? Maybe... Maybe he hadn't died that day. "No." she told herself firmly. He was dead. She had watched as the red blood stained his perfect uniform, and she had stared helplessly as the light in his eyes dimmed. Thrawn wasn't invincible, as much as she had always believed to the contrary, he was mortal and had his flaws like everyone else. Even with all of their medical advances and his genius, no would could return from the dead. But, a small voice rang out in the back of her head. But, if anyone could, it would be Thrawn. She shook that thought away immediately. No good would come of those kinds of thoughts, it wasn't possible and she knew it. Thrawn was dead and he was never coming back.
She leaned back into her chair and stared at the ceiling. Then what was it? What was this "package" that was supposedly from him? Was it a letter? Something he had never told her? Or was it even from him at all? She had acrewd many enemies in her two years as a smuggler. Most of them very powerful men, who if they dug far enough, could find out about her ten year stint as the Grand Admiral's personal bodyguard. Then they could easily use him against her. She laughed once; it would be the perfect way to bring her down. It was her one weakness. He had always been her weakness.
Slowly her mind slipped away from thoughts of pissed off smuggling lords and back to her days as a humble bodyguard and before she knew it a knock on her door snapped her back to reality. She looked up as it took her mind a moment to remember the package. "Come in." she said.
She stood up as the door opened and placed the small wooden box in the top drawer of her desk. Rayne, the youngest member of her crew, entered the room holding a small brown package. She looked at it for a moment, her brow crinkling with a thousand thoughts, and held out her hand. Rayne hesitated giving her the package, "There are no signs of any hazard material, but, Commander, I think that... I think someone might be using," he paused, not wanting to set her off, "Him, to get at you, Lady."
She smiled at the young brown haired officer. He was sharp. It was the main reason she had given him the highly coveted position of XO at the age of eighteen instead of one of her more seasoned officers. He saw things other people didn't, just like she did. And, she knew, from experience, that older didn't necessarily mean one was more qualified. She had become Thrawn's bodyguard at the age of sixteen and she could take out the most elite stormtrooper unit without even breaking a sweat. Rayne was gifted, and she wasn't going to waste his talents by sticking him in a lesser position. She rewarded talent. She refused to stunt his natural abilities just because he was young. So, she had given him one of the most critical positions aboard her ship, and he had yet to disappoint her.
She held her hand out further, "Please, don't call me that," she rebuked, because she hated when he called her by that ridiculous title. She was not an aristocrat, far from it, but somewhere along the way she had picked up that title of "Lady". And, it annoyed her.
Rayne gazed at her hand for a long moment, then sighed and slowly handed her to package, clearly reluctant. She took the box in both hands and glanced at it before looking back up at him, "You may leave now, Rayne," she ordered.
He opened his mouth to protest, but she held up her hand to silence him, as Thrawn had done to her so many times, "If it is a bomb, Rayne, there won't be much you can do." She saw the worried look that crossed his face and she sighed softly, "Rayne, please," there was a gentleness in her voice and somewhere deep within her tone a plea. She hadn't meant for it to sound the way it did, almost like a prisoner asking to die. But, something inside of her was begging for him to leave. Because, if it was from Thrawn, she wasn't sure how she would react. And, she wanted to be able to react withouth an audience.
His eyes softened as he heard her pleading tone and her nodded once gently and left without another word. She sighed softly as the door clicked shut then looked down to examine the package in her hands. At first glance there didn't seem to be anything special about it. It was just an ordinary brown box. There was, however, a name handwritten on the top of the box. It read: Commander Alana Morgan. She stared in totally shock at the hauntingly familiar handwriting. Not possible, she thought as she ripped open the top of the box which revealed a circular holovid player.
She gently removed the player from the box, placed it on her desk. She stared at it for several long moments. What was on it, she wondered. And, a large part of her was frightened to find out. Slowly she reached out and pressed play. Nothing happened. She frowned and then a small panel ejected itself from the base of the pad. "Please place your index finger on the panel," said a robotic voice stiffly. She raised an eyebrow curiously and placed her finger on the panel as it scanned her prints.
"Pattern recognition authorized," it said, "Voice recognition required, please state your name."
"Alana Morgan," she stated confidently. "Incorrect name, or voice recognition, please try again," the holopad replied.
It took her mind a moment to register what the pad wanted from her and she sighed mentally, Thrawn, she thought. He always did this.
"Alana Karrde," she said again, knowing that the pad wouldn't reject it this time.
"Vocal recognition confirmed, Alana Karrde. Message will be played immediately," it told her and she waited, her whole body tensing with anticipation. The robotic voice died away, and Thrawn's figure appeared lifesize before her. She gasped loudly and took an involuntary step backwards, collapsing into her chair.
"T-Thrawn?" she said, her throat tight and the edges of her eyes stinging with moisture. She hadn't been expecting his image to appear on the hologram. How could he be so cruel? she wondered. The blue skinned man nodded, "Yes, Commander," he said, his voice as calm as it had always been.
She shook her head quickly trying to clear it. The image had replied. It was just a message, it shouldn't have been able to speak back to her. "You're a hologram," she said, more so to convince herself than to state the obvious.
The holo-Thrawn shook his head, "Yes, and no. I was created from a copy of the Admiral's brain waves. So, in essence I am Mitth'raw'nuruodo ."
She blinked slowly, her mind trying to process this revelation, "What do you want?" she asked feeling an icy chill touch her heart. She was beginning to feel like she couldn't breathe.
"Is that anyway to treat and old friend?" he asked. His voice was full of reproach. A sound that she had always dreaded hearing when directed towards her. She sat up straight and set her jaw tight as she ran her hand through the hologram, "You are not Thrawn."
He sighed, and it was such a strange sound. She had rarely ever head him sigh when he was alive. "I suppose you are right, but," he paused, "I do have a message from him."
Her breath caught and her heart began to beat loudly in her chest, "Yes?" she asked, hesitantly, her voice shaky.
"He wishes you to help the Republic," the holo-Thrawn said simply.
Her eyes widened for a moment, "Really?," she asked rhetorically and thought for a moment. In all honesty it didn't really shock her. "I'm not surprised, actually..." she trailed off as her eyes narrowed infinitesimally. "Why now?" she asked, "It's been two years."
Holo-Thrawn waved his hand around the room, "Because you are now in a position to help them."
"Oh, right," she said weakly sinking back into her chair deeply.
The holo-Thrawn studied her for a moment, "You are unhappy," he stated.
She looked up at him and sighed, "It's not that... I just feel so useless. Everything has changed."
He nodded, "Which, I believe, is precisely why the Admiral sent you this message. That, and he believed that an old enemy would soon begin to threaten the Republic."
Her brow furrowed slightly, "Old enemy?"
He shook his head, "I am unfortunately not privy to that information, it seems that the Admiral wished to keep some things to himself."
She couldn't help but chuckle, "He always did." She smiled fondly, once again remembering how Thrawn used to be.
"My time on this holopad is dwindling," he said, "I must give you to coordinance he instructed me with."
"Y-Your time is running out?" she asked with alarm.
He nodded on again, "The brain wave pattern can only be activated for a small period of time, but do not worry the Admiral will be sending you more of these messages. And some of them more like him than I," the holoThrawn explained.
She shivered at the thought of a more realistic Thrawn. This one was... far different, but still extremely painful. "What are the coordinance?" she asked.
He told her the location Thrawn had wished her to know, and vanished. She sat back in her chair for several minutes stunned into complete silence. Why the hell was he doing this to her? she wondered. He had to have known the effect that even something so dissimilar to him would have on her. It was cruel.
She pulled out the small wooden box from the drawer and fingered it for a moment. "Why?" she whispered. Abruptly, she was brought back to life when the comm on her desk beeped again, and she was surprised when she realized that her eyes had filled with tears... again. She took two deep breaths to calm herself before answering.
"Yes?" she asked, her voice sounding a little rough.
"Are you alright, Commander?" Rayne asked.
She smiled to herself, "I'm fine, but I need you to take us somewhere, ok?"
"Anywhere, Commander."
She relayed him he coordinace and sunk back into her chair to watch as the stars faded into starlines.