I do not own anything
"DID YOU DO THIS YOU LITTLE BRAT!" Shrieked Yumi. He looked angry. So did Pachinko ball.
"Yep! Don't you think I did good!" I asked. This was my best work yet!
That's right! I had really outshined myself this time! How was I ever going to do something better! Maybe I should have done something else...No this was too funny!
"HOW COULD YOU SHAVE MY HEAD!?" Yumi's face looked kind of red. Was he bleeding? Maybe I should send for someone from Squad 4. But first I should answer his question. That's the polite thing to do!
"You and Baldy are always together! So I decided that since you're always in the same places, you should be twinsies! Impossible to tell apart! Because then you can always be together and have fun!" I explained. But I don't think Yumi was paying attention to me because he didn't acknowledge my answer. That was so rude!
"AND YOU DESTROYED ALL MY BACKUP WIGS!" There were lines in his cheeks now. And they were popping. Were these face-stitches?
"Well, I couldn't let you wear your wigs! " I explained gently.
"Then you wouldn't be twinsies, right? You'd still be Yumi and everybody would know that you weren't Baldy! So what would be the point in that?"
I think Yumi decided that he wanted to pretend to be Koma-Koma because he threw his head back and started howling at the sky like a wolf.
"That's a very good Koma Koma impression, Yumi!" I said encouragingly.
"Now it's my turn!"
But I guess Yumi didn't feel like taking turns today because he suddenly jumped at me. I guess he wasn't finished with his impression. That gave me a wonderful idea!
"Yumi! Yumi! Let's play Little Red Riding Hood! You can be the wolf and chase me!" I cried as I used my super fast flash step to dodge him.
"When I catch you, there won't be enough pieces left to ID the body!" Shrilled Yumi as he started using flashstep too.
"That's the spirit!" I squealed!
And we played all day long. Yumi was so good at following me! And he was fast!
But after a while I didn't feel like playing anymore. I was getting tired. And I wanted to play something else.
"Yumi! I'm bored! Can we play a different game now?"
"I'm not playing around, you little brat!" Growled Yumi. He wasn't really being Koma-Koma anymore. Just a psycho.
"Why don't we play hide and seek! Then we can rest our legs" I suggested.
"THE ONLY THING I'M GOING TO DO WITH YOU IS TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!"
I sighed.
"'I'm gonna go and play something else by myself, ok? You can join me when you finish playing doggy!"
I think Yumi was still chasing me so I ran as fast as I could to find a hideout!
I ran all over the gotei-13 trying to find a good hiding spot. But I couldn't think of any!
But as I was running,I had a great idea! Squad 3's barracks! Yumi wouldn't look for me there!
So I used my flash step to get all the way to the barracks. It took me a while to get there because I've never went that way before! But one time Kenny went there to talk to Captain Smiley and I came. So I, using my super ultimate powers of memory recollection, I nimbly and effortlessly maneuvered my way there . Yumi had fallen behind a long time ago. But now that I had gotten there, I wanted to see what Squad Three was like!
I sneaked into the barracks like a super secret ninja and I saw that the lieutenant was giving a speech. I had seen him at meetings. He had wierd blond hair like a waterfall and he always looked so sad. Kenny told me that if you spend to much time around sad people, then the sadness will leave them and go into you. And I don't like being sad. It's no fun at all! So I didn't ever talk to the sad lieutenant. But I did have a nice nickname for him! It was the same nickname everyone in Squad Eleven called him. I wish I knew what it meant. But it was catchy!
I peered at the Lieutenant and I saw that he wasn't givinga speech anymore. Now his Squad seemed to yell at him.
"You wanna explain why you turned down that mission to Hueco Mundo without even telling us about the offer?" Said one Squad member.
"I...I saw no reason as to why I should tell you as we would have just ended up turning it down anyways"
"Who says we would have turned it down?" Snapped a woman.
"You know as well as I do, that Squad Three condones any form of violence and doesn't get involved with it, unless it's unavoidable"
"Don't blame Squad Three for your idiotic idealogy!" Snapped a man with a wierd haircut.
"It isn't fair to Squad three" Added a red-haired girl.
"OR the ideology!" she blurted out.
Everybody started laughing really hard. The Lieutenant looked really scared. Why wasn't he laughing. And why was everybody else laughing anyways? Did thy tell a joke? How was it funny? I really wanted to know so that I could laugh too. I love to laugh so much! And it isn't fair if I have to miss out on a chance to laugh while everybody else did!
I hopped out of my hiding place and up to one of the Squad members. With a beautiful leap that would have put Byakki's koi fish to shame, I landed like a kitty cat onto his shoulder. He made a spluttery-spluttery noise and looked at me.
"L-Lieutenant Kusajishi! What are you doing here in Squad Three's Barracks? Is your Captain with you?"
"Why ya laughing at emo-fag?" I asked nicely.
"It's not that Squad 3 doesn't anticapate Captain Kenpachi's visits but we still haven't finished contruc- wait what did you say?"
I sighed. I don't like repeating myself.
"Why are you laughing at Emo=Fag? You said not to blame Squad 3 for his stupid ide...ide..o..logieee because it wasn't fair to Squad 3 or...whatever you said"
The entire Squad was so quiet that I heard a pin drop!
"Did...you...just call our Lieutenant...Emo...Fag?" Said the red-haired girl in slow motion.
"Mmmmhhh!" I nodded cheerfully.
"That's what everybody in Squad Eleven calls him! And Kenny! And I think one time I heard some people in Squad 4 do it...and Squad 5...and one time I came by for snackies at Grandpa's and I heard Kibby call him that in a report- but he changed his mind and apologized and re-said the sentence with"
Then the whole Squad started laughing again! And this time it was even harder!
Now I was getting kind of annoyed.
"I wasn't trying to be funny!" I huffed.
"You can't laugh at things I say unless I think they're funny, too! And you never told me why you laughed at Ginger's joke! "
But now, some people were laughing so hard, that they had fallen over. Like little bowling pins! And that was funny! So I laughed.
"Hey, remember when people respected our Lieutenant?" Squawked the brown-haired guy to the Squad like an announcer.
"NO!" Shouted everybody in reply. It was like a pep rally! So I decided to cheer too! I wasn't sure why they were cheering and laughing but it had something to do with no one remembering something about the lieutenant.
"You can't remember because it never happened!" I said, participatingly.
"She said it!" Guffawed a man with a nose piercing.
And we all laughed together like a big, happy family.
But when I looked at emo fag, his face kind of looked like Yumi's did and he walked away really fast. Where was he going? With my curiosity burning a hole in me, I followed him.