Porcelain Doll
Sydney
S5.1 – Prophet Five.
When Sydney Bristow was a little girl, she led a happy life. She had her mother and father by her side, her grandparents (only one set of them, though) came to visit every weekend, she had her friends, and late nights cuddling on her parents' bed, and the chocolate ice cream she ate at least once a week… the only thing missing was a dog; a big, white, beautiful dog, like the one her friend Ashley had. Ashley had named it Coco, and Coco licked Sydney's face whenever she came to visit.
Her mother said no. Their house was too small for a dog. Her father also said no, but looked her in the eye and explained that they didn't have time to look after a dog.
Sydney insisted. I She /I would take care of her dog.
But the no was final, and Sydney broke into tears that spilled on her face and her neck and her shirt.
She refused to talk to her parents for two days, and on the third day, after she got back home from work, her mother walked into her room with a big porcelain doll in her arms.
Sydney didn't look at first, sticking to her sulking, but Laura Bristow was just as stubborn as her daughter. She stood at the door until Sydney looked at her. When she did, she saw the doll, and her face lit up.
"Is that for me?" she asked, excited.
"Only if you stop being mad and talk to me again," Laura answered.
That was the end of Sydney's dog dream.
-
The porcelain doll became Sydney's most precious possession. She brushed it's hair every night (even though her mother warned the doll will end up having no hair at all), made sure it's clothes were clean and nice (and cried up a storm when she accidentally spilled hot chocolate on the doll's white skirt), and slept with it hugged to her side.
A few months after the doll became hers, her father walked into her room, looking sadder than ever.
Jack Bristow sat down on his daughter's bed as she started babbling about her day. But then he stopped her.
"Honey, I need to tell you something."
The doll was in her hands when he started, but fell to the floor when he finished.
Little Sydney stared at the floor and broke into tears – hot, heavy tears, the kind that after a while, made it difficult for her to breathe.
She didn't cry over the precious doll that lay on the floor broken into tiny pieces. She cried over the news that her mother won't be coming back home. Ever.
-
26 years later, Sydney Bristow was reminded of that doll. It was when she looked at the mirror, on the morning of Vaughn's funeral.
What stared back at her was the hollow version of herself – white face, like the porcelain doll. Big eyes that seem lost, like the porcelain doll. Red lipstick, like the porcelain doll.
If the mirror could reflect her soul, it'd look broken, just like the porcelain doll.
-
After the funeral, she came back home and found her mother sitting on her couch.
They said nothing. Irina Derevko simply accepted her daughter into her arms, and ran a hand through her hair.
Sydney flashed to different times – a date in France, a Coldplay song, a hockey ring, a hotel, an almost Santa Barbara, a look alike Wisteria Lane, Russia, Italy, LA.
She wiped her tears and instinctively put a hand on her stomach.
Irina raised an eyebrow. "I've been meaning to talk to you about that."
Sydney nodded, and in the back of her mind, wondered if her mother would get her unborn grandchild a porcelain doll, like the one she got her daughter.
She hoped not.