Okay... so this is what happens when you get myself and one of my friends in the same room. Crack fics happen. I'm sorry .' Okay no not really.

Disclaimer: Dont own YGO or Invader Zim.

A/N: I'll be surprised if anyone actually reads these. Yes, there will be more. This is the start of the various crack one-shots we think of that really dont belong anywhere lol Enjoy our insanity?

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"What the hell is there to drink in this dump?" A certain white haired thief king grumbled as he dug through the fridge for something, anything alcoholic.

Sighs. "Stupid mortals can't even keep a decent beer in here." He grabbed a bottle of water. "Guess this is better than nothing."

He slammed the door shut and cracked open the water and took a few sips as he stood there. "Tch. I hate this place. "

"Where are my SNACKS? SOMEONE HID MY SNACKS!"

Bakura arched an eyebrow as he watched an insane little green alien rush into the kitchen and start to tear apart the cupboards.

"GIR! Where is my sugary goodness!"

Bakura watched as a green dog thing came barreling in after. He didn't know what to make of the little thing. Did one of the monsters escape from the shadow realm again? It sure didn't look like any card he knew. Where the hell did they come from?

The little Alien finally noticed him and glared down at him from where thin metal legs were holding him up.

"YOU MONKEY MAN! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY SNACKS! I DEMAND THAT YOU TELL ME NOW!"

Bakura looked up at him as he sipped his water. He had a lazy smile on his face, showing a hint of fang. He knew an insult when he heard one. Looks like this creature needed a lesson on how to treat his betters.

"WHERE ARE MY SNACKS? I DEMAND THAT YOU TELL ZIM NOW! OR FACE MY WRATH!

Bakura rolled his eyes as he sipped his water. "You and what army Shorty? I could castrate you and flay your skin off for my own amusement if I felt like it."

"My army! GIR! ATTACK THE MONKEY HE WILL NOT ANSWER ME! And if I choose to, I will put a squid brain in your head!

He laughed; either this kid had guts or was an imbecile. He straightened up, standing at his full height, as he looked up at the little green creature suspended on several spiny metal legs. "Oh? Squid brain? For that I might just have to show you pain like you've never experienced before you pathetic green creature. " Without warning he jerked his hand forward, sending water into the irken's eyes

Zim shrieked from the water and starts to flail his arms about, wiping his hands over his face in an attempt to get the water off as he ran around in circles on his pak legs. "GIR! GIIIR! ASSIST ME! "

The weird green dog threw a can of peas out of the cupboard. "I like peas!"

Snort. Bakura stepped forward and grabbed the flailing Alien by the collar of his shirt and kicked the spindly legs out from under him. He dumped the rest of the water over Zim's head and tossed the bottle away before pulling out a dagger and clipping off the pak's legs. "Now, its time I showed you what a real threat means you little nuisance. Since you mentioned replacing my brain with a squids, I think exploratory surgery is a marvelous idea. Lets see if you bleed red or green."

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"That green dog thing does make good muffins." Bakura finished off the bran muffin he was eating.

Zim peeked his head into the kitchen and spotted the white-haired Thief King at the counter and shrieked before racing off, arms flailing and shouting about the evils of evil spirits.

Bakura smirked as he relaxed. Another soul tortured. His work here was done.