I had a really long, hard day with the inmates and all I wanted to do was to pass out and sleep. Of course, I couldn't do that without some inmate trying to start shit. Eventually, though, I made it to my cell. As I lay down on my bunk, I thought about B. I thought about all of the ways I wish I could've done differently.
See, when in prison, you have a ton of time to think about everything. You think of even the stupid stuff like questioning if I ever had a favorite animal. One time I thought about what B's favorite animal is and envisioned our favorite animals going at it. Sometimes I think I'm going crazy in here.
At some point, I must've fallen asleep because I'm now in Sunny D by some sort of structure thing. I have no idea what the hell it's supposed to be and it definitely wasn't there before.
I start walking towards it, but immediately stop. I see something that looks like a person, but I can't get a good look at it yet. I inch my way towards them, but they turn around before I can even touch them. I gasp when I see who it is.
"B?" I say as I notice that she's more beautiful than the last time I saw her. She looks more at peace with herself.
"Hey, Faith," she says with a small, sad smile. I wonder why she's so sad. I walk up to her and slowly place my hand against her cheek. She leans into it and I smile wider than I ever remember myself doing. She places a hand against my own and before I know it, we're kissing passionately. We break apart not much longer.
As I move a stray hair behind her ear I ask her, "Why are we here, B? Why are you sad?" I can tell she's really wishing she didn't have to answer my questions. She gets this restlessness to her when she just wants things to stay how they are before she has to answer something. If it were any other circumstance, I'd probably be teasing her about it, but this time seems more serious than those.
"Faith, something's happened. I-In Sunnydale."
My heart skips a beat. I feel my heart sink to the pit of my stomach. Everything feels so much darker. I feel my knees getting weak. Before I know it, I fall to the ground onto my knees and she's there by my side in an instant, hugging me tightly. She shouldn't have been the one. It should've been me. It always should've been me. I feel tears streaming down my face. She's stroking my back and murmuring hush tones to me. If it were different circumstances, I would've had a more reserved reaction and not breaking down like this.
After some time, I stop crying and she helps me to get back on my feet. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I'm sorry I couldn't be there to help you, to save you."
She shakes her head a little, "It's not your fault, Faith. You couldn't have known and I'm the one who asked you to be where you are."
I can't accept that. "But-"
She puts a finger to my lips, "Please don't ever blame yourself, Faith. Please promise me you'll try not to." All I can do is nod my head. She did only say to try. She knows me and probably knows that I'll have too much time on my hands that it'll cross my mind sometimes.
She puts her hand to my cheek and strokes it lightly with her thumb. I give a small smile and wonder how much time I'll have left with her. Since I have no idea, I want to say this to her before I don't have a chance again to tell her, "I love you, Buffy."
She smiles wide at me, "I love you, too." I kiss her with everything I have. I don't know if I'll ever have another Slayer dream with her since she's gone from the living world now. If I could, I'd stay here in this moment with her forever. I'd give anything to stay here instead of prison where I have to deal with all of those women trying to start shit with me every chance they get.
We stop kissing after some time and touch foreheads. We both just want to stay in this limbo with each other forever, but know that it can't happen. "Faith, it's time for me to go…" A tear falls down my cheek and I nod slightly. She wipes my tear away and kisses me one last time. Before I knew it, she was gone and I stood alone. I looked behind me, knowing that I had to go back. I started to walk to where I needed to go. I looked back where she stood one last time, "I love you, Buffy." I inhaled deeply and walked back to where my body was.
I woke up and noticed that there were tears on my face. I looked around me and realized I was still in prison. I sat up and remembered what I had dreamed. I bit my lip to keep from crying again. I inhaled deeply as I quickly wiped the tears away. The last thing I needed was the inmates to notice. "I promise that I'll try even harder, for you, Buffy," I whispered to myself. I sighed as I tried to go back to sleep, reminding myself to never forget what happened, including the kisses we shared.