AN:This story would be so OOC and it's WAAAAAAYYYY before things got serious with the CCG business. Actually, this was written two years ago and I just found it in my notebook and it was so funny that I just had to write it. SQUEE. I don't even remember writing it, or what I was thinking about while writing it, because this thing is so messed up that I can't even. More squeeeeeesss. Anyways, forgive me.
This shouldn't take any longer so here's the story! ^^
Writer's block
She never thought that this would happen. It was bad. It was very bad.
Wait, scratch that.
It was seriously, certainly, definitely, absolutely, undeniably and irrevocably BAD.
Eto woke up with a good feeling toda. Aogiri Tree was functioning well, CCG was being crushed... Basically, she was having a good day until THIS happened.
If you read the title, then good. Now you know what she's feeling and experiencing as of now. Congratulations, here's a piece of human meat.
Yep, she's undergoing the WORST of all problems experienced by EVERY SINGLE AUTHOR...
WRITER'S BLOCK.
Now, Eto was sitting in her room, staring at... a blank page document.
Nothing. No ideas. Useless, empty, brain. Whatever genius idea she cooked up in her mental kitchen, was flushed down the drain, along with her past meal.
She racked her brain and forced herself to think. She has to remain calm and let ideas pop in her head.
Sweat dropped, summers became winter, and sons turned to fathers aaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnddddddddddd...
"ARGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!" Eto screamed. "NO! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING TO ME!"
There was a crash, and she turned to see... Tatara, with his freaking kagune lashing out. Her eyes went down to the pieces of her broken door.
"Y-y-you..." She shook with anger. "YOU DESTROYED MY PRECIOUS MAHOGANY DOOR! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!"
And all of Gehenna broke lose, and Eto lunged at her friend, her one kakugan flashing and her kagune unleashing all the Owly glory. Tatara's usual calm demeanor turned into one of sheer terror, as the petite girl pounced on him.
"E-Eto! We can talk about this!" Tatara put up his hands in defense, but his efforts were in vain. Eto was practically killing him.
Her small hands continued to pound his chest as she continued to beat him up. The poor white-haired ghoul could only whimper in pain as his soul slowly (and agonizingly) left his body.
"First the the writer's block, and now this!" Eto muttered angrily while punching Tatara. She heard acouple of Aogiri members laughing as they passed her room, and she got even more pissed.
"SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS, OR I'LL GOBBLE YOU UP!" She yelled, finally, FINALLY, getting off Tatara, who quickly scrambled past Eto in attempts of getting out.
The ghouls whoe were passing by immediately scampered away, and Tatara followed them. Or at least tried to.
Eto caught him by the scruff of his... shirt-cloak-thingy, and pulled him back. She smiled at him, a smile that would've scared the devil off his high horses and make him sob for mommy. Her Tatsuki glasses adopted a bright sheen, which would've made a mastermind jealous.
Yep, Tatara was sure he pissed his pants.
Eto pushed her glasses up. "Alright, the broken door aside... you will pay me back by helping me come up with ideas for my newest book." Okay, by now, Tatara was WAY past the state of terrified.
He swallowed visibly. "Um, what do you have in mind now?"
Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say because Eto exploded. Literally.
"I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEAS AT ALL, YOU BAKA! WHY THE HELL WOULD I ASK YOU OF ALL PEOPLE, IF I HAD ONE?! I'M FRESH OUT, YOU PISSHEAD!"
See that white thing? Yes, that's Tatara's soul, floating away.
Good thing, Noro jumped in to save Tatara's soul from disappearing. And the white-haired ghoul lived on a happy life... NOT.
"Get out while you still can, Noro!" Tatara screamed to his friend. "She'll murder you!"
"I can't just leave you here!"
"Go! Leave me! I'm nothing! SAVE YOURSELF!"
And Noro, with a mournful look, rushed out of the damned room which belonged to Eto.
Or, tried to...
Eto grabbed Noro's foot and he fell to the ground. She began dragging him baack and he shrieked.
"Oh no, Noro. You will help me in my situation." Eto smiled sweetly, which made her look like an evil witch. Well, she IS an evil witch.
"Have mercy on me!" Noro shouted. Eto began to laugh evilly, and the two men trembled and hugged each other.
Then she stopped. "Ah, I know! Two friends were kidnapped by a serial killer..." She began a conversation with herself, jumped on her bed, and began to type.
Noro and Tatara, who were still embracing each other, slowly inched to the exit of this hellhole. Eto ws distracted, so now is there chance!
Quietly, they untangled themselves and sneaked out of the room, until Eto's sharp eyes met theirs.
"And just what do you think you are doing?" Eto snapped harshly.
Noro and Tatara gulped, then painfully smiled, then went back to their original position. Eto hummed in satisfaction. The two men glanced at each other. They were so close to escaping the room...
"Noro, give me a girl's name. A good one." The girl ordered.
Noro scratched his head. "Uh... Mei?" Eto seemed to reflect on the name. "Hmm... That won't work... How about you Tatara?"
Tatara didn't want to die early so he began to rattle off names like Miyuki, Yui, Sakuya and more.
Eto nodded in approval. Tatara seemed to deflate in relief. Eto was satisfied. Eto was happy. That means they're safe, right?
Nope. Not yet.
After a few minnutes of typing and silence (too agonizing if you asked Noro and Tatara, Eto slammed the laptop close and screamed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
She kicked at the covers while shrieking. Her laptop nearly toppled off the bed.
"Um, Eto, calm down!" Noro tried to hush her. He was going to die. This was nothing his extreme regenerative ability could heal...
"NO! I NEED TO WRITE! MY FANS ARE WAITING FOR THIS! She yelled at him.
"Need I remind you, we don't care about humans?" Tatara muttered.
Eto gasped. "HOW DARE YOU! I ABSOLUTELY CARE ABOUT MY LOYAL FANBASE! YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT IT FEELS BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT A GENIUS WRITER LIKE ME!"
Then she began unleashing her owly godliness on Tatara out of sheer anger. Poor Tatara.
"I can't watch!" Noro shouted while covering his eyes.
Eto began to pummel Tatara with a hairbrush that seemed to appear out of nowhere. Tatara tried to defend himself, but his attempts were futile.
"What the hell is going on here?!"
Oh shit, Noro thought. He had to be warned. He must stay innocent.
"AYATO! ESCAPE WHILE YOU CAN!" Noro yelled. "ETO'S ON A RAMPAGE! GO NOW!"
Before Ayato could even comprehend, Eto had already gone ahead and pulled him in.
"You should've ran away..." Tatara said weakly. "Your mind will not take this torture..." And with that, his soul floated away once again.
Noro grabbed the ghostly tail. "I've got your soul! Don't worry!"
"I already am worried!" Soul Tatara screamed as he returned to his body.
"Ah, Ayato-kun..." Eto placed her hands on the shoulders of the confused boy. "I need your help with something."
"Does it involve CCG?" Ayato said seriously.
Eto shook her head. "Oh, no no. You see, I have a serious problem that requires your assistance."
"And what's that exactly?" Ayato asked.
Eto's smile dropped. "I have writer's block."
A pregnant pause ensued. Ayato stared at Eto, mouth open in disbelief. Tatara stopped moaning in pain and Noro... Well, he was staring at Ayato.
Eins... Zwei... Drei...
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The teen burst out laughing. His arms clutched his sides as he laughed harder.
"I-I can't!" Tears flowed out of his eyes and he dropped to the floor, banging it with his fist. He continued to laugh. "I-it's just," he wheezed from the lack of air. "The great One-eyed owl!" He laughs again, rolling on the ground now. "Y-y-you're actually experiencing writer's block!"
Eto turned into different shades of red in a second; from apricot, to light pink, to hot pink, to cherry red, to tomato red. She glared at the laughing Ayato annnnnnnddd...
"THIS IS NOT A FUCKING LAUGHING MATTER YOU ASS-SUCKING COCKHEAD!" She dove at him, her lips pulling at a snarl. Her fist connected with his face, and it made an oh-so-beautiful sound.
Tatara and Noro could only watch in horror as Ayato was being pounded into smithereens.
"His soul!" Tatara exclaimed, pointing at the ghostly figure ascending.
"Quick, grab it!" Noro yelled. Tatara tried to, but his legs were too weak.
"I can't reach it!"
"Oh no, we'll lose him forever! R.I.P, Ayato-kun!" Noro shouted.
"Are you seriously giving up on me that easily?" Soul Ayato deadpanned.
Tatara shrugged. "We're Aogiri. What do you expect?"
*cricket, cricket*
"Well, fuck you." Soul Ayato glared at Tatara.
Tatara wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Ooh, you sure you want to? Cuz it'll be inappropriate, seeing as we're in public."
Soul Ayato seethed.
Eto turned to look at the bickering boys/men with a look that would put the evil eye to shame.
"Shut up. Or I'll castrate you. And get back here, Noro."
Tatara and Soul Ayato stopped arguing and flinched. Noro stopped his sneaky (not really) attempt to use the former two as a distraction to escape.
Eto stood up from Body Ayato and glared at Soul Ayato. "Go back to your body."
Soul Ayato did what she asked. The three men/boys stood with baited breaths, waiting for her to say something.
Eto slowly breathed out. he walked over to the bed and grabbed her laptop.
"I'm going to write some yaoi." She finally said. "Now, get out. You're all distracting me."
The three immediately ran out of the room. They ran for a good few blocks before whooping out loud and pumping their fists in the air.
"WOOHOO! FREEDOM!" Ayato screeched.
"WE'RE FINALLY FREE!" Noro screamed, throwing his arms around Ayato and Tatara.
They halted to catch their breaths, and Ayato suddenly remembered something Eto said.
"Hah, hah," Ayato panted. "Hey guys, what's yaoi?"
"I don't know." Tatara replied. His hands were on his knees. "Who cares anyway? Eto's weird and she has weird ideas."
"You guys wanna grab some coffee? I found this new coffee shop in the 12th ward. The humans look tasty too." Noro chimed in.
There was a chorus of yesses and the three friends bonded-by-trauma began their journey to the coffee shop.
As for Eto, she continued to cook up the yaoi she had in mind. It wasn't really her style, but it was the only idea she got. She had to thank those three morons for this.
And her thanks was that little book, that was released nationwide.
Most of her fans (including Kaneki) were confused at her sudden liking to romance, and more importantly, yaoi.
But it wasn't disappointing at all, so the fans still loved 'Harsh Tendencies.' After all, it had a good plot, the suspense was amazing, and most of all, the love triangle topped it.
But up to the end, fair Ayato fought for his love for Tatara, despite the interference of the ex, who is 'Nora'.
AAAAAAAAAANNNNNNDDDDDDDD...
Tatara closed the book while shaking. Ayato turned into an inhuman (inghoulish?) color. Noro slumped and collapsed on the floor.
All three of them slowly got out of their respective rooms and walked to the room with a newly-fitted mahogany door.
"ETOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
And that is the story of the two-time breaking of Eto's door, and the love of Ayato and Tatara. And also, this is exactly why writer's block is the worst of all worst problems there is.
You see, when authors get writer's block, they tend to write something undeniably stupid. That's why let's wish the other authors good luck and help them in anyway we can.
Fin.
Also, I had writer's block while writing this...
AN: FINALLY FINISHED WRITING. IT'S CRINGY AF I KENNAT. Anyways, please read the AN from before. This was written two years ago, before Kaneki got serious and shit. Thanks for reading guys!