I wrote this from a post Missolitude reblogged on tumblr once, about Character A walking in on Character B fresh out of the shower. Oh how much a little post can spark.

This is just a little nibbler of a first chapter, 1k out of about 8k words of straight (well, clearly not!) smut. Any nibbles?

All comments so incredibly appreciated! They're a token like no other in the world of fandom - leave your local fanfic artists a symbolic penny for their work? (;

The whole loo was steamed up when Clara entered through the unlocked door. Missy's hat and blazer were gone, which usually meant she was as well; she must have showered and run off like the madwoman she was.

Why the TARDIS—her TARDIS, nonetheless—had put Missy in an adjoining bedroom with a shared toilet, Clara would never understand. Wasn't the captain of the ship supposed to get the swankiest accommodations?

Then again, when Ashildr (Clara was secretly relieved for the name-reclamation, if for nothing more than simplicity) had first entered the bedroom the TARDIS had crafted for her, it had been a giant pool with a bridge that led to a floating water-bed in the middle of the room.

Of course Clara would end up in a TARDIS with a sense of humour. River had nearly pissed herself laughing when she discovered her bedroom was created as a forest with a river below and a treehouse above. In the end she had opted not to change it, while Ashildr had (and summarily received) something more classic. Missy's bedroom changed so frequently that Clara hadn't the foggiest what it might look like now, though she guessed some sort of purple dungeon à la 50 Shades of the Mistress.

The bath was clean, which meant Missy hadn't used that: she never remembered to clean it until Clara threatened to feed her to the mutant crocodiles on the brig. (Clara guessed they both covertly enjoyed the mostly-innocent threats, but it did prove that one could hardly trust an entity of mass chaos to do something as simple as clean the ruddy loo on their own. Damn TARDIS.)

She checked her pulse out of habit: still none; still dead; still clearly alive.

How long had it been now? Nearly 50 years? Few enough that the other three of their semi-immortal space-lady quartet still teased her for celebrating birthdays and the little anniversaries. Not that they had any issue with helping her celebrate.

Clara swore when she looked in the mirror. Not because she looked appalling—though she probably did, with her unchecked bedhead (she had thought semi-immortals automatically attained flawless hair; she had been categorically and catastrophically incorrect)—but because of Missy's elaborate plan to mock her as a vampire: she'd upgraded their mirror to recognise facial prints and programmed it to ignore Clara's face. Or so she guessed when she looked in the mirror and saw no reflection at all, only the wall on the far side of the room. She swore again for good measure.

Her TARDIS seemed too amused to make fixing the problem much of a priority, the treacherous hunk of junk.

She sighed and looked down to ready her toothbrush; when she looked up again Missy's face was there, a lewd grin stretched over her beautiful lips.

Clara yelped at the unexpected reflection so clearly not her own. 'Where did you come from?'

'Now that's a loaded question,' Missy deflected. Her grin was crooked as she dragged one fingernail up Clara's spine; it spread a wave of tingles despite her (admittedly thin) camisole. 'And I don't want to think of my mother at the mo', if it's all the same to you.'

'Nor do I,' Clara agreed as she turned. She dropped her tooth-brush right into the puddle of water at Missy's feet; the toothpaste fell atop the foot itself.

Missy stepped on it and cackled at the feel of minty freshness between her toes.

'You're cleaning that up.' Clara's voice was a growl as she tried in vain to cover up the flush of heat beneath—and, alright, visibly across—her skin in response to seeing Missy.

Missy, who was nude as the day she was born, however much her body then was no indication of her bodies to come, and this one was a work of art.

She shimmered all over as the rivulets of water slid down her skin. Clara was dizzy with watching them slide across every curve. She tracked one droplet's travel from Missy's neck down to the canyon between her perfect breasts and over the soft terrain of her tummy, where it pooled in her navel for a quick moment—Clara held her breath—before it was joined by other droplets and continued down the gentle slope of her belly, over the sensitive skin at the bottom of her abdomen, and at last nestled into the coarse, wet curls at the apex of her legs. Clara swallowed and licked her lips.

Missy was watching her full-body inspection with an amused, all-knowing glint to her eyes. She knew Clara liked what she saw as much as Clara did.

'You know, I was all clean,' Missy said softly, after a moment of Clara's intent staring. Her voice turned to something of a drawl as she lifted and tilted her leg, giving Clara a flash of pink flesh. Missy pointed to the toothpaste between her toes—wiggling them, of course—but knew precisely where Clara was looking. 'Now I'm all dirty again.'

Clara rubbed her eyes (sleep crusties, how attractive) to break the spell. 'I don't know about all dirty.' She ducked to retrieve her fallen toothbrush. 'To get you properly clean we'd have to scrub out that maniacal mind of yours. Open up.' She wielded the toothbrush with as much menace as she could muster.

Missy grinned, her pale gaze as ever entertained, and slowly opened her mouth.

'I meant your skull,' Clara mimicked, a horrid attempt at Missy's Scottish brogue. She tossed the toothbrush over her shoulder and into the basin.

'Or did you mean…?' And Missy slowly, ever so damnably slow, turned out one leg so Clara got a clearer look at what she'd only glimpsed before.

'Get in the shower,' Clara ordered, hoping her tone sounded more confident than she felt. She was still recovering from an unexpected Missy in all her nude glory.

'Oh ho ho!' Missy's smirk made Clara want to knock her down a peg or two. 'Is that an order, Captain?'

Thank you so very much for reading! I hope you're enjoying. ;D