Sex, Lies, and Scandal

If anyone had told Dan Humphrey how the last three weeks would play out, he would have called them crazy. After all, who could anyone have foreseen the events that unfolded?

Three weeks ago...

Dan was having lunch with his friend, Nate Archibald, and Nate's friend, Serena van der Woodsen. She had just come over to them, devastated and in tears. Apparently, she had just had an argument with some of her classmates, Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass. Dan knew them by name and reputation only. As far as he could tell, they were awful people. They were everything that was wrong with the Upper East Side. They were arrogant with a sense of entitlement, and they, for some reason, were friends with his sister.

In this crazy world, the only thing Dan really had was his younger sister, Jenny. She was blonde and beautiful, and reminded him of his mother, who had died four years earlier. They were close, or at least they had been, and everything he did was for her. He wished she would see Blair and Chuck for what they were, but she simply wouldn't. However, the fates had taken a turn, and simply minutes before, she departed their table. Dan hoped this was a sign of what was to come. He had no idea how right he was.

Dan, Serena, and Nate's phones all rang at the same time. If it wasn't for the fact that Dan always had his phone on him as a precaution in case Jenny needed him, he would never have checked it. It was a text message from someone he'd never heard of before. This was a surprise, given that no one knew Dan's number. It appeared Serena and Nate received a very similar text message.

"Who is Gossip Girl?" Serena wondered aloud.

Nate shrugged.

"I have no idea."

The text message contained a link to a website. Dan clicked on it and was brought to a website called "Gossip Girl. He'd never heard of the site before, and, apparently, neither had Serena or Nate.

Normally, Dan wouldn't have checked the link, but lately lunches between him and Nate had been awkward. Earlier that week, they kissed in a moment of passion and confusion. Since then, they had attempted to act casual, but it was clear things weren't okay. Neither boy wanted to talk about it, though, and Serena was a welcome distraction. Now, Gossip Girl could distract all of them.

The article on the website caught his attention when he saw Serena's name in it. He wasn't sure why she would be mentioned, but he sure was curious to learn.

"Hello, Upper East Siders. My name is Gossip Girl, and have I got news for you!

Ever wonder why SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN left our hallowed hallways for boarding school just a year ago? I know I have, and now that I know, I'm in a mood to share. It turns our former wild child has a child of her own. While that should come as no surprise to anyone who knows her, what might be a shocker is the baby daddy's name. For his own protection, I won't say, but I will let you know that it is a member of the faculty at Constance Billard. Looks like someone was hot for teacher!

Serena isn't the only person who has skeletons in her closet. CHUCK BASS has been hiding the mother of all secrets in his spacious closet. A secret this big demands a walk-in. Has anyone ever noticed that the Basses are always out of town? I would be, too, if I found out that I'd married my cousin and had a son with her. They may not have known at the time, but that doesn't change the facts that Chuck may one day sprout gills.

There's one person who will always love Chuck, though, and that's BLAIR WALDORF. After all, a girl always remembers her first time. While she was dating Nate Archibald, Blair slept with Chuck. Is there anything a Bass won't do? Oh, and it should come as no surprise that she's bulemic. Time to fill up on humble pie, Blair. Let's see if you can't keep it down.

Till next time.

Xoxo,

Gossip Girl"

Dan looked up at Nate and Serena. They were stunned.

As the weeks passed, Blair, Serena, and Chuck became social pariahs. Nate became a recluse and refused to associate with anyone, and Jenny sky-rocketed to the status of Queen at Constance Billard, whatever that meant. Dan was left to watch in awe and wonder what the Hell had happened.