This came to me while watching the earlier stages of Callie and Arizona's relationship. After last night I needed it. I might do a follow-up from Arizona's POV, not sure yet. Let me know if you think it's a good idea.
Oh, feedback is very much appreciated and con-crit is welcome.
Not mine, they belong to Shonda & Co.
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Since the moment she introduced herself and instantly seduced me, I literally heard a click. The moment her lips hit mine, I felt it. I heard it. It wasn't the whole love at first sight, can't live without you cliché like in the movies. But there was that click. It was like a puzzle piece that had been eluding me, and one which I tried to fit everywhere else, had finally found it's rightful spot. Of course, there was still a bit of trouble fitting it in with the rest of the pieces but over time they kept falling into place. Every new facet I discovered was accompanied by a click. Some more distinct than others, but there all the same.
I've felt it many times in the years we've been together and even when I broke up with her, I still felt that damn click. Staring at the numbers on my hand trying to figure out just how they appeared, it was right there. The weeks that followed are a blur. I can't remember what I did, or how many surgeries, if any, I performed but I remember feeling that damn click every time our eyes happened to meet. Everytime I looked up from a chart and caught the tail end of a heely, or heard her beautiful voice. I couldn't really imagine that this is where we would end, the thought never fully formed. The only good thing to come from that horrendous shooting was us. We learned to bend.
After everything we went through I really thought she finally understood. I wanted her. . . I needed her. Forever.
I died. This one I never experienced and didn't think would, could ever happen to me. I felt my heart stop beating when she walked away. A complete standstill. We've never argued like that before and I pray we get the chance to never argue like that again. Of everyone who's left or ever betrayed me, she hurt me the most. I guess that's when you know they're the one. I believe that now. She hurt me so much in that moment that all I wanted to do was hurt her just as much. I was desperate, willing to disown her like my father had done to me if only to maybe hear her say she'll stay. Foolish of me.
She did come back. She fought with Mark, but she tried. She loved me. . and she stayed.
She's still here, though I'm not. Not all of me. I can feel her, I always have. I want to hold her. Reassure her that this isn't her fault, because we of all people know just how fragile and unpredictable, unfair, life is. I know I've lost our child. There's a deep nothingness where our baby was. I want to see her. I want to hold her, feel her.
If only I could wake up.