Once Upon a Grain of Sand
Chapter One
There was a light knock on the door and Gaara continued to stare out the window as he beckoned the person to enter. He watched the wind blow the sand back and forth as he heard quiet footsteps shuffle towards his desk. He tilted his head to look at the person. Gaara slightly smiled as he recognized the shoulder length brown hair and the dark eyes. It was his first student.
"Matsuri, it's been a while."
Matsuri bowed her head and tried not to blush. "Yes Lord Gaara. I'm just here to turn in my mission report."
She quickly reached forward her hand with the scroll. Gaara was a little surprised. Normally Matsuri would smile brightly and drag things out a little bit longer. She was definitely acting strange. He hadn't really seen her much. Matsuri had taken to helping more often around the town now that Temari was in Konoha with Shikamaru. He had also been sending her on quite a few missions but she was keeping quite a distance from him. Gaara liked to think that he didn't care, after all, Matsuri had been sort of smothering sometimes with her happy personality and infuriating determination. But he was missing her.
"Ah, I expect everything went well?" He looked up at her and noticed that she smiled a little but not like she used to.
"Yes sir. There were no problems and my team worked well." Gaara nodded as she spoke. "Well anyway, I should be going." Gaara looked up startled at how fast she was leaving. Was there something wrong? Matsuri was always the first one that was accepting of him when the rest of the village was still wary but now she was being so distant and it was making him uncomfortable.
"I see. Well you will be taking a break from missions for a little while. It seems that some of the villagers are wanting your help with the upcoming festival." Matsuri nodded and headed out the door. As she walked out Kankuro walked in and watched Matsuri leave.
"Gaara, it seems that Naruto and his company will arrive tonight in preparation for the negotiations and the festival."
"Thank you Kankuro." Kankuro nodded and turned to leave but was stopped by Gaara's voice. "Does Matsuri seem a little off to you?"
Kankuro turned around and sat in the chair in front of his little brother. "I actually was just thinking that. She seemed more reserved than normal. Do you think that something happened that we don't know about?"
Gaara thought for a few minutes. She was always pretty vocal to him about anything that was wrong with her. He usually didn't have to push too hard. He knew that she hadn't lost any family members and her friends were all still around so it wasn't that. But it was after the war that he noticed that she seemed to be more reserved. Maybe seeing all that bloodshed sobered her somehow?
"I don't think that anything happened. Maybe she just changed after seeing war. But she's never been so distant to me." Kankuro's eyebrows rose and he smiled a little bit.
"Oh, I see. Are you upset by that?" Gaara flashed him a glare and Kankuro laughed.
"I'm just teasing. I know that you love people now and are more in tune to their feelings but I doubt you're ready for romance of any sort."
"This coming from my brother who is single."
"I may be single but I have my fair share of dates and time with women. You however are so busy running a country that I don't think you'll ever go on a date."
Gaara watched Kankuro as he explained. He had a point. Gaara never really considered dating. He didn't have time and on top of that he was sure that no woman would want to be entwined with his complicated life. Sure, he had lost the bloodlust but he still was afraid to tell anyone about his past. What woman would be willing to smile at him after hearing all of that? Lots of women smiled at him in the village now but it took years. Because of that Gaara just seemed to give up on dating.
"You may have a point. Anyway, let me know when Naruto's party arrives." Kankuro nodded and left Gaara to his swirling thoughts.
Matsuri leaned back against the sandy wall on the back side of the building where the Kazekage's office was. She was taking deep breaths and trying to calm her fast beating heart. Ever since she was around thirteen she had been in love with Subaku no Gaara. When she was twelve and they were asking all the ninja students to pick a ninja instructor she couldn't help but stare at him. He was the one that everyone was afraid of for so long. Gaara was the one that loved blood and had a tailed beast inside of him. But he had changed while he was in Konoha. He had decided that bloodlust and pushing people away wasn't right and he was trying to make better relationships.
Matsuri watched the nervousness and the hopefulness in his expression. He wanted desperately to be accepted. Matsuri was always told that she had a kind heart and she wanted nothing more than to help Gaara learn to love people and open up. Everyone split into groups and she was the only one who chose Gaara. He was intimidating and at first she was nervous about her choice but she saw the small smile he gave her and decided she would give it her all.
After being around him everyday Matsuri learned to love him. He had been hurting and in pain for so long but after meeting Naruto he had a new outlook on life and she kept her optimism and happy attitude in hopes of bolstering him up. He had saved her life from a deadly foe and in turn she was hoping that she was saving him too.
But, he was Gaara and the Kazekage. He barely acknowledged her apart from being a precious student of his and even worse she was sure that Gaara would never think of her any different.
Before the war she was always fangirling over Gaara with a few of the other girls in the Sand. But, she had an advantage. She actually got to spend time with him and talk to him. She knew his siblings well and because of how much he trusts her she was able to work in the Kazekage's office quite a bit.
Matsuri raised her hand to rub down her face and wake her up a little bit. Her last mission wasn't hard but the minute she got back she wrote her report and ran to see Gaara. Matsuri pushed off the wall and slowly made her way to her apartment. Her parents had died a long time ago so she had gotten her own place and as soon as she entered she headed for the shower.
As the water ran down her back she thought back to what changed in her. After being in the war her fangirlish ways seemed so childish. She grew up in the Sand where things were hardly perfect but still she felt like she needed to grow up some. It also didn't help that the whole time she was worried sick that something would happen to Gaara.
When the war ended it was too painful to be around him realizing that she had been in love with him for years and he didn't even notice. So she made an effort to work closely with Temari and soon she was a staple in the community. Lots of the villagers depended on her and when Temari left she picked up a lot of the slack that she could. Matsuri also requested to go on as many missions as possible and Gaara happily complied.
Matsuri finished in the shower and was now staring at the ceiling above her bed. Because of all the work she had seen Gaara less which had helped her from thinking about him but when she did see him it felt like there was a hand clutching her heart.
But it would all be okay. She was still a good friend of his so she just needed to try harder to smile like she used to. It didn't matter if he didn't return her feelings. She loved him and that meant that she wanted to see him happy. Whatever that would take. Maybe she would be able to reconcile all of her feelings this week as she worked on the festival.
Kankuro opened the door to Gaara's office but before he could say anything Naruto bounded through the door.
"GAARA! How are you buddy?" Naruto grabbed Gaara and pulled him into a bone crushing hug.
"Naruto, I think you might be holding on a little too tight." Gaara could see Hinata standing behind Naruto with Sakura, Kakashi, Sasuke, and Shikamaru. Naruto came with his old team and his wife as well as his adviser. It was a good group. His sister Temari was chatting quietly to Kankuro in the corner.
"Idiot, let go." Naruto huffed and pulled away but he smiled brightly at Gaara.
"It's good to see you Naruto. Thanks for coming." Gaara nodded to everyone else. He figured Naruto brought some of them only for the festival.
"Of course! We need to make sure that things are still smooth between Konoha and Suna. Plus, the festival should be lots of fun!"
"It is always the best festival in Suna. I'm so glad that I was able to come back for it. I hear that Matsuri is in charge this year." Gaara tensed as Temari spoke. "Where is she by the way? I figured she would be around here somewhere?"
"She just finished a mission so I am sure that she is resting right now." Gaara spoke concisely and with little emotion but a few of the people in the room caught the flicker of distress in his eyes.
"I see. I suppose I can wait to see her until tomorrow. I want to help out as much as possible. To be honest that is the only reason I came." Temari laughed a little and so did Hinata and Sakura.
"All right. Well I am sure you are all tired from traveling so Kankuro will show you to where you will all be staying." Gaara motioned to Kankuro and the group followed out behind him except for Temari.
"Okay, what is going on? You seemed distressed when I mentioned Matsuri earlier. Did something happen?" Temari leaned on the desk in front of Gaara.
"Nothing happened that I know of but she has been acting really weird lately. She's been throwing herself into her work way more than normal and she's been distancing herself from me." Gaara laced his fingers together and rested his head on them as he stared straight forward.
Temari watched him. He was really disturbed by this. Sure, he was close to Matsuri but she was sure that Gaara felt like she was just another person. Temari was pretty close to Matsuri and she knew that girl had a crush on Gaara so she couldn't believe that the girl would just stop being around him. Something was definitely going on and she was going to find out what.
"That does sound weird. I'll figure out what is going on. Don't worry." With that Temari smiled and headed out the door to her own room for the night.
Matsuri held up a file filled with all of the preparations for the festival. She skimmed over everything that had already been taken care of and noticed that the main thing they wanted her help with was setting everything up and getting them put into the right places. Temari had left very detailed descriptions of what happened every year. Matsuri took a deep breath. It wouldn't be too stressful to get this stuff finished and she would actually be able to relax a bit.
Giggling could be heard behind her and she turned to see Naruto walking hand in hand with Hinata. He smiled his mega watt smile and Hinata hid her smile with her hand as they talked and giggled. Next to them was a stoic looking Uchiha, a bored looking Kakashi and Shikamaru, followed by a chatting Temari and Sakura. Matsuri smiled sadly at the sight of Naruto and Hinata and how happy they were. She wished that she could have that but some things were not to be.
Naruto caught sight of her and waved excitedly. "Hey! Matsuri! How's it going? How are the festival plans coming?" He ran up to her dragging Hinata the whole way. Everyone else followed along quietly and soon Sakura and Temari were standing in front of her smiling too.
"Oh, it's good. Temari was really thorough so there's not much for me to do. How are all of you doing?" She smiled sweetly up at them.
"We're fantastic! Say, Matsuri. We were thinking of having a girls day today while all the men are meeting with Gaara. What do you say? Do you wanna hang out with us?" Sakura grabbed onto her arm and happily jumped up and down.
"We can also help with festival stuff." Temari smirked at Matsuri, and Hinata and Sakura both nodded their agreement.
"Well in that case I would love to!" Matsuri smiled and Temari noticed that it was the first genuine Matsuri smile that she'd seen this morning. The men said their goodbyes and headed to Gaara's office. Sakura and Temari interlocked arms with Matsuri and grabbed Hinata as they made their way to the town square.
"So, how have you been?" Temari was hanging up some fabric on a booth while Sakura pinned it in place and Matsuri and Hinata did the same on the booth next to it.
"I've been good. Insanely busy."
"Yeah I heard. Gaara told me." Matsuri tensed for a minute at the mention of Gaara's name. She hoped that no one was really paying attention but the three girls were all watching her. They could see that she still felt something for the Kazekage.
"Ah, I see. Well I've been helping out more since you left and I've been going on a lot of missions." Matsuri turned around and grabbed another piece of fabric to attach.
Hinata looked at Sakura and they both gave Temari a look. Hinata and Sakura were not terribly close to Matsuri but they had gotten used to her being around when they came to Suna or if Gaara was mentioned in a large crowd. But they both knew what it was like to love someone who either doesn't notice you or care.
"Matsuri, can I ask you something?" Hinata was the one who spoke as she pinned the new fabric up that Matsuri was holding.
"Oh course! What's up?"
"Do you still like Gaara?"
Surprised, Matsuri dropped the fabric and looked at Hinata wide eyed. "Um. . ."
"I see. So it's not just like anymore." Sakura now stood next to her rubbing her back.
"Why don't you just tell him?" Temari crossed her arms and leaned against the booth.
"Tell him? Are you insane? All he thinks of me is that I'm some obsessed girl who fawns over him and I just get in the way. Honestly, I love him and I have for years but he never sees me and I just can't take it anymore. That's why I've been working so hard. That's why I go on as many missions as I can." Matsuri had dissolved into tears. She held her face trying to calm down. Hinata wrapped her arms around her. Temari's eyes were open wide. She had always hoped that someone would love her brother as much as her and Kankuro did but she never realized that it could tear someone up inside.
Matsuri wiped her eyes and pulled away from Hinata. "Thanks guys. I think I'm gonna go lie down for a little while. I'll see you later okay?" Matsuri gave half a smile and headed off toward her apartment.
Sakura watched sadly as Matsuri left. "I remember being like that over Sasuke."
"Yeah, and me over Naruto. I can completely understand what she is going through. He never really noticed me much until I told him how much I loved him. It took years for him to see." Hinata stared sadly at where Matsuri had disappeared to.
"I knew she liked him but I never realized how deep it ran. I guess I never really understood beyond her obsession. I guess she's grown up in the last few years." Temari smiled sadly as she looked at Sakura and Hinata. "I think we should head back. The meeting should be over by now."