03/26/2012

Back for yet again another story during my blank on story update ideas! Now, with this I will display my utter love for 2 things: Harry Potter and HOMESTUCK! EEP! Homestuck is the most amazingful thing EVAR. Gotta love that Homestuck! I'm going to be using Dave's POV for quite a bit of this, but I will be changing occasionally. Gotta show that Strider love! :3

This is going to take place while the kids are in sburb but before anyone reaches god tier. They all meet up somehow, don't ask me how. I'm not good with that kind of stuff. XP And all the trolls are still alive.

Oh yeah, and as an added thing, Harry and co. will be in 3rd year. It took me a couple minutes to wrap my head around the whole time ordeal, but I managed. xD

Disclaimer: Homestuck belongs to Hussie and HP to JK Rowling, the lucky ducks.

Dave's POV

"Wait, what are you talking about again Rose?" I groaned, staring at my friend. Whenever she talks, she always just loses me with all her smarticle shit she goes babbling on about. It wears a bro down.

"These letters. We all got one. They're to a place called Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!" Rose said in what I guessed to be as calm a voice as she could manage. She really does like them wizards.

"Oh that's so great! I wonder what it will be like! When are we going?" Jade asked in her usual over-excited happy-about-nearly-everything voice. Ugh.

"The 1st of August."

"Wait, what's today's date anyway? How are we going to get out of the Medium to this place anyway, assuming it's on Earth." John butted in with his normal complicate everything by asking random questions. I don't think he even realizes he does it. It's just woven into his Egderp ectobiology-formed DNA.

"Well the letter says exactly this.

"Dear Miss Lalonde,

You have been selected to come to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Under normal circumstances, you would have arrived and enrolled at the school at the age of 11. But under the current circumstances, you being 13, you will come and have special classes at Hogwarts on August 1st to make up for all you have missed. Spellbooks for years 1 to 2 will be provided, but your 3rd year books will need to be purchased by you. The booklist is enclosed in this letter.

We hope to see you very soon, Minerva McGonagall."

"Whoa. I wonder what's been holding up our letters." John wondered out loud.

"Probably some douche who doesn't like majyyks or something." I answered. Rose glared at me.

"Or maybe it was the trolls!" Jade inputted. Damn, that girl hates trolls. She just has this grudge. I wonder what they did to her, the blind chick isn't too bad. Except for the fact that she tried to kill Egderp once, she's not too bad.

"Well John, to answer your question, it's still the same day it was that we entered in. Or at least it's supposed to be. Let me check me computer." She slid out her weird green headband with the computer in it and placed it on her head. "Huh. I guess time has gone by. It's not supposed to though."

"Well I went through 3 days when we were supposed to only have a day. It's possible. And that may also be because the only way I could get all of us here at the same time was to mess around with the time stream a bit and make it so we all ended up here. That involved taking us a couple days ahead." I explained, adjusting my sunglasses. So cool bro.

"Then how are we going to get out of the Medium?" Jade asked, crossing her arms.

"Well I don't have all the fucking answers, don't look at me." I said.

"I may though." Rose piped up, attracting my attention. "Since magic apparently exists, they'll probably have some kind of way for us to get out enclosed in this letter. I mean, how else would they get it to the Medium? You'd think they'd put a way out." She reasoned. I nodded, not a bad plan Rosie. It gets the Strider stamp of approval.

"Wow, great job Rose! That's a good idea!" John said happily. No wonder he and Jade are ecto-paradox-half siblings. They have the same personalities for the most part.

Rose sifted through the small envelope, throwing out another piece of paper with words written on it. After throwing out some more shit with words, she finally smiled and pulled something out. A small, purple rock.

"There's the little bugger. It has enough energy to transport one person out of the Medium and into London, England." She said, holding the purple shit rock up to the light. "Each of our envelopes has one. Here's yours John, Dave, and Jade." She passed out each of our envelopes addressed to us. I ripped open my letter and dumped it upside down. Paper shit came raining down until finally a little red rock hit the ground. Jackpot.

I bent down to the ground to pick it up. After examining it more closely, I noticed there wasn't anything all that special looking about it. It looked just like some kind of fake ruby shit you see in a little girl's dress up chest or something fucking fake like that.

"What's so special about it? Just looks like a piece of shit to me." I muttered, sticking the rock in my pocket.

"Well if it has enough power to transport us all the way to Earth, it must be pretty good." Jade said, holding hers up to what little light existed on this oily planet. Geez John, do you ever clean up around here? It's a flipping dump.

But that's when it hit me. Not because of the whole dump thing, but what Jade said. This doesn't make sense. Earth is gone. We couldn't possibly go. "Guys. I just remembered something. Earth has been fucking annihilated. There's no way we could go." Those words really depressed them.

Rose frowned for a second, deep in thought. Oh no. When she thinks, I always end up getting the fuzzy end of the puppet ass.

"Dave," She started, I groaned automatically. No. More. Puppet. ASS. "Maybe you could take us back in time?" She grinned deviously at me.

"Fiiine, but I really hate getting the fuzzy end of the puppet ass. You know what I'm talking about. And don't go saying time travel is easy, you have to close the loops and make sure paradoxes don't happen...and..." I trailed off, feeling I had my point across. John and Jade looked interested while Rose just rolled her eyes.

"Yeah yeah Strider, just take us back." I glowered at her and pulled out my epic Timetables. Aw yeah, got some phat time beats up in here. I spun them around twice, 2 years I guess, and we all went whizzing back through time.

Nanoseconds later, we appeared in what is John's planet 2 years before we arrived. No imps, all salamanders. I quickly shoved my 3 friends and myself into the nearest bush via an awesomely pulled off Youth Roll to avoid being seen, no more fucking time paradoxes. Wading through dead Daves is enough, I don't need any Egderps, Happy Harleys, or Rosies piling up either.

"Dave! What was that for?" Jade whined, pulling twigs out of her shirt.

"Well would you rather pull twigs out of your shirt than cause a million flipping time paradoxes and then start having to wade through dead versions of ourselves from doomed timelines we created?" Silence. "I'll take that as a 'Sure Dave, thank you for saving us the trouble of having to wade through a million damn dead versions of ourselves!'."

"Alright. Who's going first?" Rose asked, pulling her rock out again.

"I'll go first!" John volunteered. He would be the first to go through with something as stupid as this.

"Yeah one problem guys, we don't know how to even frickin' work them." I interrupted. Everyone took the next few seconds of time to examine their rocks as closely as their vision would allow. I finally did the stupidest thing ever. I tapped it. I tapped the flipping rock.

Well that was apparently what you were supposed to do to activate it. I don't know what fucking genius came up with that brilliant strategy, but next time buddy, try something less neanderthal-ish.

I opened my eyes to find myself standing smack dab in the middle of a busy street in downtown London. Score 2 for Mr. Genius Man for making this stupid thing land you right in the middle of a busy street. You have really exceeded my expectations on being extremely fucktarded.

I ran out of the street before one of those huge red buses with the second bus thing on top hit me. Let's just say that would probably hurt. A lot.

About a second or two later, John appeared. He sat in the middle of the street, looking as dumb as ever, not noticing there was a frickin' bus coming toward him. He finally noticed after I flailed my arms around, trying to make him notice it. It's a wonder I haven't been called out or something.

"Dave! Why didn't you wait for me? I was supposed to go first!" John whined to me loudly, yet it didn't really attract any onlookers. Guess the Brits know how to mind their own business.

"Well how was I supposed to know that it was activated by tapping the piece of shit. It's so stupid it's not even funny, yet it is in an ironic sort of way." I responded, adjusting my glasses again as a couple of ladies passed by. They completely ignored me. Crap.

There was another flash and Rose and Jade appeared in the street. They obviously, well Rose did, had enough sense to move out of the way before they were flattened by a British taxi cab that came screaming down the street. Jade was just sorta dragged since she was in a daze, like always. Just another mystery solved about the wonders of the two ecto-siblings DNA, it makes them extremely oblivious and spacey. Oh the things that I've learned from irony.

"Nice job Dave, going without us." Rose crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at me.

"Oh yeah you're blaming me when you should be blaming the retarded dude who programmed the thing to be activated by TAPPING. And then it drops you off in the middle of the STREET. You're logic TOTALLY makes sense Rose." I retorted sarcastically to her sarcsam. Irony at work ahead.

"Like your logic is any better!" Our bickering continued for a few more minutes until I felt John tap on my shoulder.

"Wha-WHAT THE FFFF." I turned around to see what Egderp was pointing at. And damn, is he huge.

"You mus' be John, Dave, Rose, an' Jade!" The huge dude bellowed down at us, grinning widely. He looked about a million foot three and had shoes size a thousand. Okay, I exaggerated, but he sure is big. That moleskin overcoat could fit about 5 or more mes in there.

"Hi! I'm Jade!" Jade grinned, buck teeth sticking out. According to Karkat's shitty shipping map, I'm supposed to marry her. No offense, but that's not happening. Well, maybe if she gets some major orthodontia or something.

"Hello, I'm Rose."

"I'm John!" Egderp grinned just like his paradox sibling. My flip they look similar.

"Dave." I waved like a cool kid does and adjusted my glasses.

"I'm Rubeus Hagrid, you can call me Hagrid. I'm tha gamekeeper at Hogwarts. You wouldn' happen to have any grey fellas with ya? It says here on my reminder letter tha' I'm suppo' to pick up 12 other species called..." Hagrid squinted at the page. "Trolls? They mus' no' be like any trolls I've met." I felt my stomach half drop half wiggle. Trolls? Did he really say trolls? If he means the trolls I'm thinking of, then we got trouble on our hands. Trouble in the form of angry Jade.

I looked over to said Happy Harley, or should I say Horrified Harley. She looked on the verge of tears and you could tell she was shaking if you looked really hard.

"T-Trolls?" She stammered out, voice on the edge of breaking out of anger and well, just being upset.

"Oh, so you've met one!" Hagrid said cheerfully, not exactly noticing Jade's reaction. Just at that very second, I think one of the most inconvenient things happened. Trolls really do have bad timing, don't they? I think it's safe to classify this as a nice, hot, steaming plate of irony with some pwned sauce.

Short chapter is short. I wanted to leave it as a bit of a cliffy, and I was looking for just the perfect place. XP

Anyway, there's this beautiful little button down there that I would be ever so happy if you clicked it and typed something in the convenient little box that pops up. It's really quite nice. ^^

Until next chapter, enjoy reading any HS updates, watch your monthly Harry Potter movie, and I dunno, eat soup or something.

~Mint