THIS FIC IS NOT KLAINE-FRIENDLY
"I bet I can help that fatigue of yours, you know," Kurt whispered into Blaine's ear as Rachel got up on the stage at Callbacks with Brody. He could hear Rachel sing any old time, and now that Blaine was here, in New York, Kurt wanted to make the most of his time with him. They wouldn't exactly have much privacy with Rachel and Finn at the loft that night, so a little idea had formed in his mind (probably fuelled by all the sugar in his extra-cherried drink, but hey). "Come on," he whispered, and took his boyfriend's hand.
"We'll miss Rachel's song…"
"Nah, I'm pretty sure she'll be doing the extra long album version- we'll be back for the final notes…"
Kurt was feeling reckless and excited. He knew exactly what he wanted to do, even though he had never done something like this before. His time to be spontaneous and fun had finally come.
"Didn't George Michael get arrested for this?" Blaine asked warily as Kurt pulled him into a stall in the men's room.
"Oh please, this is Callbacks, not some public toilet on the street, no one is gonna call the cops on us," Kurt assured Blaine. "Just…let me show you how much I missed you." His eyes glittered. He felt happy and sexy and the man he wanted to share that with was finally here. He kissed Blaine thoroughly, unzipping his pants with deft fingers while he sucked the tip of Blaine's tongue, giving his boyfriend a small hint of what he was planning. Blaine gave up all protest at that, and leaned back against the stall, winding his fingers into Kurt's hair.
"I was with someone."
Kurt's heart skipped a beat, and then dropped to his stomach. He raised his hand to his mouth. He only half heard Blaine's rambling accusation as his mind spun. Shreds of the talk with his dad echoed in his head, precautious words about self-respect and choosing wisely, and about always, alwaysusing protection because you never knew. Kurt felt sick. Just half an hour ago, he had thrown his dad's advice overboard in order to fulfil one of Blaine's secret desires (which they had confessed to each other a few weeks ago during an embarrassing late night Skype session they had dubbed 'sexy truth time') and Blaine had let him, while all the while he knew Kurt would have never done that if he had known they were no longer each other's only partner. Had Blaine been planning to tell him at all, or was it just Kurt's constant pressure that finally made him come clean?
Kurt ran, but he could not run away from the feeling he had just had sex with a stranger. He made it for two blocks before stopping to retch.
Months passed, and Kurt filed the memory away with the rest of the pain from his past. He was able to talk to Blaine again and was close to forgiving him. His mind was starting to haze over it. They were young, it had been a mistake, and Kurt had insisted on doing it, how could Blaine have refused? Kurt had practically forced himself on the younger man. It was his own fault. He should have been more careful. It was a hard lesson to learn, but he had learned it.
And so he was careful. So much, in fact, that he kept an almost platonic distance between himself and Adam, not trusting himself to do more than kiss. He'd only lose control again and fall too hard, too soon, and would do things he'd end up regretting. What happened with Blaine at Mr Shue's almost-wedding was just proof of his lack of self-control. He didn't want that to happen with Adam. Kurt wasn't sure how long he was supposed to wait, but he made himself wait all the same. Maybe the universe would give him some kind of sign. He just hoped Adam wouldn't lose interest in him before that happened.
When the sign came, Kurt almost wished it hadn't.
"…And the doctor said it's very unlikely, but that I should tell my…sexual partners to get tested anyway. Kurt, I'm so sor-" Kurt hung up the phone, dropped it in his lap and hid his face in his hands.
"What is it?" Adam asked, sounding worried. "Is it your dad?" He put a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "Kurt?"
Kurt shook his head, not willing to look at his boyfriend. Or ex-boyfriend, as soon as he heard about this. Kurt felt like throwing up. He felt dirty and worthless. But Adam wasn't giving up.
"Kurt, please talk to me. Whatever it is, I'll help you. We'll figure it out."
Kurt slowly lowered his hands. "Blaine has Gonorrhoea," he said flatly.
Adam winced in sympathy. "I'm sorry," he offered. "but that's treatable, right? I'm sure he'll be okay." He put a hand on Kurt's shoulder and squeezed it gently.
A tear started sliding down Kurt's face. "Yeah but… it means I might have it too," he admitted, shying away from Adam's touch. As he heard Adam's sharp intake of breath, he quickly pushed on, feeling the need to salvage some of his dignity. "It was just one time, before I met you; We were each other's first and only, or at least I thought so otherwise I would have never-" He broke off in a sob.
"Shh, it's okay," Adam whispered, rubbing Kurt's shoulders. "Just because Blaine has it doesn't mean you do."
Kurt shook his head. "It would just be my luck. Like karma. I deserve that for being so stupid, for trusting him, for-" He stopped himself and looked at Adam with big, horrified eyes. "What's my dad gonna say? He doesn't even know why I broke up with Blaine! I don't think he even knows I've had sex. He still thinks I'm his little boy." He let out a puff of breath, feeling frustrated and helpless. "And Santana is gonna have a field day-"
"Kurt, calm down," Adam interrupted him, more stern than before. "You're getting ahead of yourself. Let's just get tested first, and then we'll take it from there. Even if you have it, it's not your fault. Blaine's the one who cheated. He's the one who risked his health, and yours. No one is gonna blame you. If you want, we'll talk to your dad together."
Kurt swallowed. Did he just say we? "You're not…breaking up with me?" he asked carefully.
Adam smiled. "You're not getting rid of me that easily, Kurt. Now come on, get your coat. There's a free clinic on the corner of 27th, I once took one of my Apples there. It's clean and they're very friendly."
Kurt bit his lip and looked down on his hands. He was grateful for Adam's support, but it was so damn humiliating. Perfect strangers were going to be looking at him, making assumptions, reaffirming the cliché that gay men were promiscuous… and what if he really was sick?
"Adam, I'm scared," he admitted.
"I'll be with you the whole time," Adam promised. "We'll just ask them to do our tests together."
"Our tests? But we've never…" Kurt started, but Adam shrugged it off.
"I know, but I'm kind of hoping that might change in the future," he admitted, blushing a little. "And if it does, I want to make sure I'm okay so you won't have to worry about that."
Kurt wasn't sure if he should laugh or cry, so he kind of did both. "Thank you," he finally said, wiping at his eyes. "I don't know what I would have done without you."
Adam smiled. "Exactly the same," he said, "but I would have had no one to share an icecream sundae with afterwards."