A/N: Standard disclaimer here. I don't own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. That's Hasbro's bag. I own nothing within. Well, except, uh, me I guess. Yeah.

If you told me a few months back that I'd be in the…predicament I'm in now I'd of asked you where do you buy your alcohol from, because clearly you have access to better stuff than me. Now this story starts simply enough, stories like this often do, don't they? But if you're willing to listen to me ramble on a bit I'm sure you'll find yourself entertained. Probably. Maybe. Hell, who am I kidding, we're all going to need a drink to get through this one…

Ah, another bright and lovely Monday morning, or rather, afternoon. If today was even Monday. The days kind of bleed together now. Tuesday feels likes Friday, Wednesday smells like a Sunday. Though Saturday never feels or smells like a Thursday, not sure why that is really. I have a theory but those tend to end badly, and usually never right. But anyways, back to what I was saying. It was one of the days of the week and it was daylight out. Reality hadn't radically shifted in the last 9 hours, always a plus. I cracked open one bloodshot eye and sluggishly pushed myself upright in bed. A quick yawn escaped me and I crawled out of the comfortable bed and slowly shuffled out of my room still dressed in the clothes I had slept in; simple denim shorts and a simple black t-shirt. As I entered the living room I didn't see my mother anywhere, must have taken the dog out. And yes, I realize living with my parents at my age IS sad and pathetic but the economy is a fickle bitch, kids.

But I ignored her missing presence and went to the bathroom to wake myself up. A little cold water splashed on the face and all that. After the everyday wakeup routine I went back to the living room and took a seat on the couch. I snatched up the nearby tv remote and surfed though a few channels not looking for anything in particular. I heard the front door open and indeed mom had taken out the dog for a quick walk. The big dopey-looking black Shar Pei trotted off to the kitchen to get some water while my mom took a seat on the loveseat opposite the couch I was on.

"Hey. When'd you get up?"

"Just now really."

Typically the same thing she always asks when she first sees me up and about and that's usually my response. Ah, beautiful routine and predictability.

"Any plans for today?" Mom asked casually.

"Nope. Nothing I can think of." I absentmindedly answered as a stupid commercial for bullshit exercise equipment droned on.

I always wondered where these guys came up with the ideas for their stuff, because I normally think of them sliding across a linoleum floor to get some Captain Crunch after smoking a lot of pot and in a flash of brilliance they come up with the Lay-Z Fuk. Only 4 easy payments of $59.99. Get yours today while supplies last. Pushing aside my meandering thoughts I put my attention back to the tv in a vain attempt to find something worthwhile.

"What about Charlie or Steven? Hear anything from them?" Mom posed another question.

"Not a word. If we we're going to hang out today they'd call first before coming over." Which was usually true for those two friends of mine. "Man, there is not shit on." I griped aloud as I surfed back through channels I'd already been through.

Secretly I wished we got The Hub. For a show I had taken quite a shine to though damned if I was going to admit that fact right here and now. Naturally that show was My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I had only started watching the show somewhat recently after finally caving in and wondering just what in the hell the buzz was about. Color me surprised when the show turned out to be good. Very good. For a kids' show anyways. Well, little girls show I guess. I've, uh, watched kids shows before but this type was a first, you see. And right about now I felt the need for cartoon marshmallow ponies.

I tossed the remote over to the loveseat and got up with a stretch.

"I'm goin' to my room. Fuck around on the internet for a bit."

A half-truth. The whole truth was to fuck around AND watch a little girls cartoon with a smile on my face. I was going to have fun and no one could stop me.

"Have fun." Mom said simply as she started her own endeavor to find a show to watch.

I slipped back into my sort-of cramped room and took a seat in my beat-up old leather chair that had seen far better days. I wheeled up to the desk that had my laptop situated atop it and flipped it open. A quick password input later and I was staring at my desktop. My newest wallpaper was Rainbow Dash lounging peacefully on a cloud with what might be considered my mantra hovering next to her: FUCK IT. I'm not doing shit today. I was of the (only correct) opinion that Applejack was "best pony" but I lacked a wallpaper of her that was as amusing as this one. RD was still second favorite though. I grabbed the nearby mouse and maneuvered over to my browser of choice and began my fucking around in earnest.

Funny how fast time can past when diving through the net. Some five hours had passed and my pony quota was nil. I had to remedy that and decided to see if a new episode was up yet; not remembering if I had fully caught up yet as I was never sure if I was or not. As I began scrolling through my bookmarks for the site I used to view new episodes I caught the whiff of something…unpleasant. Like, burning plastics and singed metals. Upon smelling this stench I came to the conclusion any rational person would.

"Holy fuck! My laptop had better not be shitting out on me or something!"

I'm fairly sure those were my exact words. After the outburst I ripped the headphones from my ears and started to examine the expensive piece of electronics.

"The…fuck is the problem?" I said as I rotated and sniffed the device.

It quickly dawned on me that, oh right, I knew dick about computers and how they worked. Even less then dick when there might be a problem with one. For all I knew this thing was powered and kept together by orphan soul's. Perhaps the I had angered the ghost orphan… What with all the porn. I huffed and put the laptop back down. I took off my glasses and pinched the bridge of my nose with a sigh. I had just bought this thing. And now pbbbthhh, gone. I slipped my frames back on and tapped my fingers in annoyance on the desk as the laptop screen just stayed frozen on its current page: the site I used for pony viewing. The ponies were looking back at me with cheerful smiles and mocking me. I angrily slide the mouse back and forth and wildly clicked buttons in a vain hope that that would fix something.

Surprised, it didn't. If anything it got worse. The screen started to look like it was breaking down into pixels or some such.

"Oh sure just add the fucking cherry to this shit-sundae already."

That's when the sparks and tiny arcs of electricity started. That wasn't worrisome or anything.

"Dammit, I should unplug this thing before a fire springs up."

I reached down and fumbled with the few cords that were nearby and found the right one quickly enough. I jerked it from the wall and watched as nothing happened.

"Oh. Right. Full charge. Shit. Does the power button still work…"

I looked over the crackling machine and was a tad apprehensive.

"I really don't want to touch this thing now. Fucking fry myself. Need to find something else. Let's see here…"

I glanced around and found a pencil sitting idly by my tv. I grabbed it up and prepared myself to jam on the power button. And, no the thought, Hey, a potential fire hazard? Yeah, just add some wood to it. Clear right up, never did cross my mind. So just as I pressed the power button the screen pulled a new one and looked to be meting now. Again, I know nothing of computers or their malfunctions, but I was pretty damn sure melting wasn't a common one. I cautiously leaned in closer and raised the pencil up to prod at the melting screen. The moment I touched it, and I mean the very moment , I felt what I could only guess to be thousands of volts of electricity course through my body. I tried to scream or shout or anything really. Anything to get some help. But nothing came. Instead I was frozen in my seat as this power surged in me. To further my terror a dull purple glow began to emanate from the melted screen and wash over me. It was strange. This electricity, this purple energy wave? It didn't hurt. Not much, really. A little numb and stinging but nothing that felt life threatening.

The only thing that worked were my eyes and they were frantically scanning the room for anything to help. This electricity and glow combo didn't hurt much, but damned if I wanted to test its limits. I began to feel lightheaded and did my best to fight it off. I hoped years of all-nighters and mild insomnia would prevail. But it didn't and I could feel consciousness slipping away from me. My room was getting dark quick and my body felt incredibly light. And all that was on my mind was; Oh god, I'm going to die and they'll find the remnants of this laptop with ponies all over it.

That was my last thought before the darkness came over me completely. I don't know how long I was out but I started to come to when I felt wind on my face, like I was falling. Falling to hell I personally wagered. But I started to really pay attention to how the wind was blowing over me. It's wasn't falling but more like being in a car that was hauling ass. My heavy-lidded eyes slowly opened up the see if I was perhaps in a hospital helicopter or something. But when my eyes were fully opened and adjusted I completely balked at what I saw. An incredibly colorful and lush landscape was spread out before me and was speeding away beneath me as I was flying through the air. Honest-to-god flying. I reached out with my hands and saw that same strange purple glow was still covering me like some sort of field. I started to chuckle a bit.

"I-Is this…a dream? Heaven? N-No way it is, but just maybe… Ahhhhhhhhhhh!"

My attempt to rationalize this to myself was cut short. And painfully. I glanced back up just in time to see a tree coming at me and defiant thing wouldn't move no matter how many mental commands I threw at. I barreled through the thing without so much as a bit of slowdown. I sputtered and hacked up leaves that had flown into my mouth and I did my best to pick twigs and other debris from my hair.

"All right, not heaven. Heaven doesn't have its inhabitants tear ass through tress and possibly swallow a birds nest."

I coughed up what I could have sworn was a robins' egg.

"Stop the ride, I want to get off." I grumbled to myself.

Wish granted the universe decided. Ahead of me I could see yet another tree. A much, much larger tree. And this one like the one before it had no intention of sprouting legs and moving. And, wouldn't you know it, I wasn't heading for the semi-soft leaves and easily snapped branches. Oh no, I was screaming towards what looked to be a balcony and I preyed to be open doors. I quickly slipped my glasses off and put them in my shorts pocket then I covered my eyes with my hands and sighed. This looked like it was really going to hurt and I really didn't feel like seeing it firsthand. Just before my estimated impact I peered through a crack in my fingers and the last thing I remember seeing was a purple pony coming into view just beyond the doorway.

Man, this was going to suck for her. Me too, I guess.

Our eyes met for just a split second before I slammed into her like a missile and again for the second time today I drifted off into blackness. My last thought before I was completely gone?

Send me somewhere with less fucking trees this time.