EFFY.
I feel the familier tingle of my accomplice propel inside me, making it's way through my body. I am a superhero now; I have the power to feel nothing. My own anesthetic. I know I should stop but even the greatest heroes need a sidekick.
FREDDIE.
I see her walk through the doors, the music seems muffled now, I know she can never be mine, she could never be anyone's she is far too complicated for that, too good at hiding things. When we were younger the first time she beat me at hide and seek, I looked for her for ages, about an hour, when I finally found her, she just gave me that look, that look that says 'you don't know me at all' "Fuck it" I made my way outside, got to stop living in the past.
EFFY.
I stepped through the doors of the party hoping to forget everything and just have fun but something, someone caught my eye. "Fuck!" It was him, he caught me staring at him and I caught him but he walked away something I wish I could again. It used to be so easy for me but now it seemed as if I needed him like he was the only thing keeping me grounded. My anchor holding me from the strong winds and going shipwrecked. I don't do love, I hate it, I didn't even know what it was but when that girl giggled and said 'you love him' I knew she was right. It made my gut wrench it made me want to throw up. When had I let my guard down so bad that someone had weaseled their way in?
FREDDIE.
"We'd be good together you and I, don't you think?"
"I'll break your heart."
"Not if I break yours first."
"Nobody breaks my heart, and why would I want that?"
I could hardly hear what she was saying my heart was beating so fast, we were so close I could feel the heat coming from her body, off her lips. I wanted to close the gap between us, but she did it first. The spliff that was once in my hand dropped out, the smoke dancing above us reminding me that we are both trains, we had fallen off the rails but that's how we found each other. Sometimes you have to go off course to find something, someone.
EFFY.
"Fuck" I ran away, I couldn't do it, my life was turning into some messed up teen drama, then I realized I got it back I could walk away now, he is no longer holding me down. I put my hands in my pocket; I feel something, a little bag, white powder. My only love.