A/N: This was originally written for a contest on Noveljoy (which I knew it didn't qualify for anyway, but it was too much fun to write it to resist). I've taken the liberty of making a few changes and putting it up here for your entertainment. The cover picture comes from DeviantArt from the artist Livio27; it's called 'Vader on Hoth'.
'Nuff said. Enjoy!
Hello dear Pops!
Assuming that you're still reading this letter and haven't burned it yet, let me introduce myself. The name's Solo, Han Solo. I'm friends with that kid of yours, Luke Skywalker; you know, the one you cut the hand off of? (About that, you ought to seriously consider getting him to see a shrink. He's talking to empty air and claims it's that crazy old hermit again. It might have been a bit traumatic to see ol' Kenobi being struck down in front of you. And that's the reason why I'm charging you with Luke's future therapy bill. So there.)
I'm also kind of–er, dating your daughter, Leia Organa. She's not really a fan of yours. It might have something to do with the Death Star business (you know, when you blew up her planet, tortured her etc.) or the freezing-her-boyfriend-(me!)-to-carbonite business. (Now that I think of it, it's probably the latter. I knew she loved me!) Don't you think it's a little rude thing to do to your future son-in-law? Leia thinks so, apparently. You're not in her good grades. Nor in mine, for the matter.
your future son-in-law,
Han Solo
(BREAK)
Captain Solo,
I don't know what my daughter sees in you, I really don't. But you do have a point with Luke. I shall see what I can do. Do you think you could bring him over to Coruscant incognito?
And lay your hands off my daughter! The fact that Leia and I aren't on the best of terms doesn't give you a free slip through me. And our somewhat... precarious relationship is due to the annihiliation of Alderaan, not due to the events on Bespin (though they might have helped), and definitely not due to you. You really are full of yourself.
I'd like to think we're even, Solo, as you're not in my good grades either.
your certainly not future father-in-law,
Darth Vader
A/N: It's my first try at a Star Wars fic that isn't a translation, so please tell me if it was good or bad, in-character or OOC... You get the idea? Reviews are very welcome!