Taking a Hint
part I
The final measure of the karaoke machine's electronic guitars and fanciful drum beats came to an end, leaving an irritated Jade and Tori standing side by side in front of two boys with idiotic grins plastered over their faces. Before the girls could address them, the boys quickly exchanged a high-five, the boy on the left wiggling his eyebrows in a supposed seductive way at a rather unimpressed Jade. The other boy leaned forward, pursed his lips, and closed his eyes, waiting for a kiss that never came from the aggravated and exhausted Tori. Clearly the two couldn't take a hint, never mind the fact that they used said phrase over twenty times in the course of the song.
"Do lyrics mean nothing to you?" Tori seethed, pushing away the boy's face, "How can we be blunter than we've been? We aren't interested."
"We are not interested." Jade slowly reiterated, drawing out each word as if speaking to a kindergartener, "Leave."
"Alan and I are leaving all right," winked one of the boys, "So my house or yours?"
"Ooh, smooth, Chad, smooth!" The other yelled, jumping up for another high-five.
Exchanging irritated glances, Tori and Jade glared at the boys who began throwing their arms around the two girls again.
"Excuse us for a moment, won't you?" Tori gave a forced smile at the pests before pulling Jade to the side.
"What the chiz do we do?" She whispered, frantic.
"How am I supposed to know? I didn't bring any scissors with me and getting banned from the only sushi restaurant within walking distance of Hollywood Arts for punching out these guys is not on my to-do list," Jade growled at Tori's raised eyebrow, "I like my sushi, Vega!"
"Well, what else can we possibly do? The only solution I can think of is, like, murder. Or something. I thought you'd be supportive of that plan, Jade. Pain and death is your forte," Tori complained.
"Yes, but I like my sushi, Vega." The other girl emphasized.
"I wish you were still with Beck or something. Then you could have called him over and he might've intimidated them away."
Jade looked thoughtful after hearing Tori's offhand comment, eyes wandering back to the two boys who were smiling and waving at them.
"Not that it matters. If we brought him over here and said he was your boyfriend, Mr. Sikowitz would probably freak and fail us, saying crazy chiz like "no, it's a date! You weren't supposed to invite other people and you're missing the point of this exercise!" Which is a sad excuse for an exercise since this is hardly that and more of torture because seriously-"
"Tori."
"- these guys are borderline sexually harassing us and my dad's a cop, I swear this is illegal. I bet I could get these idiots arrested and maybe that'll wipe the smirk off their little pretentious as-"
"Tori!"
Cutting the girl off mid-rant, Jade gave a small smirk before grabbing Tori's arm and walking towards the two eager boys.
"What are you doing, Jade! We need a plan!"
"Simple. I have one." Shrugged she, giving Tori a brilliantly cunning smile, "If Sikowitz wants a date, then a date he'll get."
"What does that even mean?"
As soon as they approached the boys, the two quickly invaded all types of personal space, and Tori was sure she felt fingers brush up a little too low against her backside. Despite being known for her patience, there was only so much a girl could take. True, years of being Cat's friend built up her tolerance for the strange and the irritating and years of being Jade's "friend" helped build tolerance for mean, but hours of these boys left her at the end of her rope. Eye twitching, she pushed the boy closest to her away and was about to yell when Jade grabbed her hand and squeezed, causing Tori to freeze up in shock.
"Look, we don't like you two, and we're seriously not playing hard to get, if that's what you're thinking."
Even though her voice sounded genuine and sweet to outside ears, Tori knew Jade long enough to hear her usual laced sarcasm and hatred lingering right below the words, like poison dipped in honey.
"Of course you're playing hard to get," smirked the boy called Chad, "Alan and I are pretty much irresistible."
"Listen, it's really never going to happen." Jade gritted her teeth, forcing the words out her mouth as kindly as possible.
"Hey, listen babes, you can choose to ignore your heart or let it guide you to the right men." Alan winked, clicking his tongue at the girls.
"The thing is, I'm in a committed relationship." Replied Jade, ignoring Tori's scared reaction.
"I told you that Sikowitz is going to freak if he finds out we mentioned anyone else! He wants us to act like this is a real date!" Tori whispered feverishly under her breath and into Jade's ear. Rolling her eyes, Jade turned back to the boys who looked, for the first time this afternoon, stumped.
"Oh… well, no problem then." They turned towards Tori with predatory looks on their faces, "We'll make do with what we got."
"Thanks for nothing!" Tori muttered, glaring at the smirking Jade, "You better have a part two of this plan, because I don't like where it's headed."
Jade simply nodded before speaking.
"I'd really appreciate it if you left my girlfriend alone."
"Your girlfriend?" The two boys and the shocked Tori exclaimed at once.
"I mean, yeah, her girlfriend," coughed Tori, covering up her moment's lapse.
"We're very much in love. She's my… princess." Hopefully, the boys didn't hear the strain in Jade's voice.
"Yep. That's us! Girlfriends. Lovers. Together. So you two can leave now!" Pushing herself away from Chad's hold, Tori awkwardly tried to assist Jade.
Jade and Tori exchanged a quick smile, taking the two boys' silence as a sign of victory. Any minute now, they would leave their shell-shocked state and hopefully, leave the state.
"Oh, please. You two are too funny." Chad grinned, "My ex had a girlfriend too but she told me it's called "bi-curious." It doesn't last. There's no such thing as lesbians. They're basically girls who haven't had man. You guys are just playing super hard to get. And I like that."
"Plus, you two are too hot to be seriously gay." Alan added, his ignorant comment causing Tori to stiffen. Her favorite uncle was gay and he had attempted and ultimately succeeded in committing suicide; it hit a soft spot whenever she'd hear misinformed comments like that. Fueled by her anger at Alan and Chad's ignorance and a burning desire to prove them wrong, she raised her voice.
"No, we're really in love," Tori shouted, "Don't you even dare try questioning it."
"That's freaking rude of you to even say," Jade growled, letting go of Tori's hand and placing hers on Tori's shoulder to calm her down. Jade had quite a few close friends who were homosexual as well, and it was getting on her nerves.
Now working off the energy of each other and feeling the effects of aggravated adrenaline rush, Tori couldn't tell if the words she was saying was coming from her white lie or from herself or if Jade's sudden aggravation was due to her experiencing the same surge of emotions.
"I'm just being realistic here!" Chad complained, "It's true! Girls say they're all gay but in the end, they end up with real men. Like me."
"And me!" Alan interjected with a snarky grin, "Only men can really satisfy a girl."
"Yeah? Well, you're wrong." Jade furiously snapped, "In fact, you interrupted a very important date because I was going to propose. Hey Tori, I love you so much that I couldn't wait. Will you freaking marry me?"
"I'd love to freaking marry you!" Tori replied with a similarly loud, aggravated yell, "Because gay people are capable of being in love, you know. And I'm saying yes because you satisfy me more than any man ever could!"
By this time, Jade and Tori were fuming with fury, glaring holes into the two boys who's faces they hadn't peeled their eyes off of during the entire impulsive and angry marriage proposal. The irritating boys stared in shock at the girls, slowly backing off and frowning, as were the other patrons of the restarurant.
"Okay, okay, whatever. You guys really go far to play hard to get."
"We're not playing hard to get!" Shouted Tori, "In fact, you're invited to the wedding!"
"Yeah! You're invited to the-" Jade froze, a confused expression on her face, "Tori, I think we should sto-"
"Alright! We'll go to the wedding." Smiled Chad, "You can show us how much of a sham it all is."
"It's not a sham, you misinformed, homophobic prick!" Grabbing Jade, Tori forcefully pulled her towards herself, landing a brief and slightly painful kiss on her lips and pulling away before shouting, "See! I freaking love her! And I can't wait to prove you wrong at our wedding!"
Pulling Jade away to a farther seat, Tori continued ranting in a more subdued voice, face red from rage. Already recovered from the initial adrenaline rush anger that she felt during the entire conversation, Jade sat in shock, processing what just went down. Pausing from her tirade at the look on Jade's face, Tori knitted her brows in confusion and sat quietly, allowing herself to come down from the adrenaline high and think. Her eyes widened.
"Oh my God, Jade. W-what did we just get ourselves into?" Tori stuttered, fingers subconsciously fluttering up to her lips.
"You just had to prove them wrong, didn't you, Vega." Groaned Jade, slamming her head down on the counter.
"…This really wasn't the ideal first date, was it?"
A/N: When you're absolutely furious, sometimes you allow your impulses take over, mostly because of that angry adrenaline rush you get. And then you say whatever to get your point across. Just in case some people were confused as to what just went down or thought it was a bit out of character for Tori to get angry. Even Tori gets mad, and in the show, when she's mad, she's mad. And yes, the entire proposal was yelled out loud. On a sadder note, I have heard people say the things the two boys in the story have said.
This will probably be a 2 part story; hope you enjoy/enjoyed! I wrote this pretty quickly and it's quite late now so I'll read over the story next time and fix any mistakes. Reading my own stories makes me cringe. All reviews are kindly appreciated!