Tuesday morning, 2am. The Palmwoods was asleep, for the most part. High above LA, the moon smiled upon the smoggy city. She peeked through every window, slipping a bit of light between any row of blinds. But for the most part, things grew quite dark.

Logan and Carlos were snuggled up in bed, fast asleep. But James wasn't so lucky. One room down, he battled a fierce dream whilst he snoozed heavily next to Kendall. He tossed and turned, remaining asleep. It woke Kendall up.

"James. James!" He whisper-shouted.

"Hurrphh…gruhh…huh huh what?" James startled awake. He sat up and shook a little. "What? Kendall? Huh?"

"What's wrong?" Kendall asked. He put his hand on James's arm and tried to pull him back to the bed.

"Bad…bad dream," James said. He lay back down and sat on his side. Kendall's face was slightly visible through the pale lights that came through the bedroom window.

"It's okay," Kendall cooed. "Not real, duh."

"I know, I know," James said. He hugged Kendall and nuzzled his neck, a little desperately. "I don't even remember what it was about."

That was a lie, of course. He knew what it was about. It was a scene that hadn't left his mind since it happened, three days prior. They four boys all did as they agreed, and told Gustavo that they were dating. It didn't go well. Now, the uncertainty of the band's future was driving James crazy.

"Try to go back to sleep," Kendall said. He pat the back of James's head.

"I will, I will."

James clung to his boyfriend's body and closed his eyes. It seemed that his mind was too busy to allow him to sleep. It wouldn't settle.

"What's up?" Kendall whispered after a few minutes. He could tell something wasn't right.

"I dunno."

"Jaaammeesss…"

Kendall ran his fingers up and down James's nice, strong back. He held him close and listened to their breathing in unison. He was so tired and desperately needed to sleep once more. Dealing with baby James wasn't so easy, he was starting to realize.

"Why can't you sleep?" Kendall asked.

"I don't know," James said. He whined. "Just thinking too hard."

"You? Thinking hard?" Kendall said with a chuckle. "What's the real reason?"

"Ughh, come on, I can think sometimes…"

"I know. Just teasing." Kendall pecked a few kisses on James's forehead. He slid onto his back and pulled James to his chest. He stroked the back of his head.

"It worries me that Gustavo got mad," James admitted quickly. "Maybe we shouldn't have come out like that."

"Nooo, no no…" Kendall said. He hugged James tightly. "Don't say that. Everything will be fine. Remember what Carlos and Logan said? Better to be honest and open. And shit, even if it doesn't work out, we'll still have the most important thing."

"What's that?"

"Each other."

"Awwww, Kenny!"

James cried in a hushed happiness and kissed Kendall on the lips. He kissed him several times. Then he kissed his chin, his neck, his chest. Kendall rolled his head back reflexively and suppressed a throaty groan. James flicked his tongue over Kendall's chest, slowly moving down to his stomach, waist, hips…

"James, James, James," Kendall quickly said. He put his hands on James's head and pulled him back up from under the covers. "It's too late to play around like that. I really gotta sleep."

James stuck out his lower lip and pouted.

"But, but!"

"No buts."

"No butts?" James teased.

"No buts, no butts."

"But Kennyyyy…" James cried.

"Tomorrow. Hey, if we get up early enough, we'll do it first thing," Kendall promised. He gently pushed James off of him and turned on his side, facing away. "Now please let me sleep."

"Oh, um, okay."

James stared at Kendall's back. He stared for a while. It almost felt like Kendall had rejected his offer of sex. Well, to be perfectly honest, it was late and they did need sleep. But it still made him feel sour. He lay there in bed until Kendall began to snore, ever so softly. James still couldn't sleep. He carefully pulled down the covers and crept out of the bed. He stepped to the door, opened it very slowly and slipped out.

He went to the bathroom. The light came on and blinded him temporarily. Green shades blocked his vision. He rubbed his eyes, used the toilet, then looked into the mirror for a bit. He thought about what Gustavo had said.

"I don't believe this! All of you dogs are telling me you're gay? Gay with each other? You think the press will be happy about that? You think your young fans will appreciate that?"

James regretted telling Gustavo. He regretted outing himself. He even regretted falling for Kendall. Why did life have to be so damn confusing? He walked passed Carlos and Logan's door. A faint thought of them being comforting him passed over his mind, but he realized it wasn't a very friendly hour to wake them up.

So he slithered back to his room. He flipped off the light and went back to bed. Kendall was still sleeping. James slipped in beside him, taking his place one more, and put an arm around his waist. Ahhh, Kendall was so warm. That lovely warmth of sleep. He felt Kendall's body raise and lower with his breathing. He never snored much, really. Just enough to be cute. So cute.

No, no. James didn't actually regret falling for Kendall. There was nothing better than being with him. Feeling him inside. Knowing that he was there.

He touched Kendall's cheek softly, but he didn't stir. He must have been crazy tired after all. James sat up, leaned over and kissed him delicately. In the dim light of the night, James made out just a few of Kendall's facial features (the giant nose and jutting chin, I guess. Perhaps a long, dark band of eyebrow). He traced his finger tip around the edge of his profile. It was the first time James had ever, truly, really, been in love. Not just that bubblegum love that teens feel. The real deal. The kind of love that once it is inscribed upon your heart, in stays in your soul forever. Even if you go separate ways, your feelings never leave. It doesn't have to be sexual or romantic, but often is.

Something wet dropped on Kendall's face. Plip. Plip. James was tearing up a little. Why would he cry? Why did this relationship move him so? It was difficult to tell. Maybe just the acknowledgement of being human and being alive was a heavy burden. Maybe, now that he knew how it felt to truly love someone, he could awaken deep thoughts from his subconscious.

Or maybe James was just a softy, crybaby. That was likely the reason. He was somewhat horrified that he could lose all of his fans do to use recent outing. Ugh. What a nightmare. Maybe Gustavo was right? Could he be right? Would the Big Time Rush publicity die when the word got out?