"Ow!"

"Get your grubby hands out of my batter!"

"My hands are perfectly clean. Besides, this is not 'your' batter; these cookies will be for the whole- ow!"

"I don't care. If everyone who comes through here decides to help themselves to a fingerful of dough there won't be any left to bake cookies with. So stop it!"

"You only had to ask. You had no reason to hit me with a spoon."

"Yeah, yeah. Here, make yourself useful and grease this baking sheet."

"It would have been logical to grease these beforehand, so that you can start cutting the cookies into shapes."

"Sounds like you're impatient. Aren't sugar cookies- illogical?"

"Sugar cookies are extremely logical. On the same note, though, would you say that sugar cookies are unhealthy?"

"'Man does not live by health alone.' Hey, good job with the cookie sheet. If I didn't know better, I'd say you've done this before."

"Where do you keep the cookie cutters?"

"Hah, the adding-machine can bake. Avoiding the question is a sure sign of guilt. They're in the cupboard over there, next to the spatulas."

"There is nothing embarrassing about baking. You are doing it now."

"Well, it's not something I'd have thought an adding-machine could do."

"I am not an adding-machine."

"Sure, I believe you. Alright, I've rolled the dough. Bring those cutters over here."

"Where did you get these shapes? They make no sense at all."

"Are you insulting my cookie cutters?"

"This one is shaped like a duck, but the proportions are incorrect. A real duck would have a smaller head and larger wings. This one is a crescent shape, which is fine, but it is too small. You would need to eat three cookies made from this cutter to equal eating one made from the duck cutter, which is much closer to the average size of the cutters. This one is- ow! You hit me with the spoon again!"

"Stop yapping and start cutting! It doesn't matter what shapes the cookies are."

"I respectfully disagree- ow! You hit me again!"

"I wouldn't hit you if you would stop eating the dough!"

"It is illogical to cook it if it already tastes this good raw."

"It tastes good, but it's got eggs in it. Is raw cookie dough worth a case of salmonella?"

"I am almost afraid to answer. Was that a rhetorical question?"

"Just because you're an- aw, nuts! I tore it!"

"You should not roll the dough so thinly."

"This dough is fine. Wait a minute- how did you do three shapes already?"

"My hands are steadier than yours, and I am using the cutters with simpler shapes."

"My hands are plenty steady; I'm a doctor, for goodness sakes."

"Let me roll the next batch of dough. It will be less likely to tear if it is thicker."

"Might as well. Pass the flour; this stuff's sticking to my hands."

"Why are you baking these cookies?"

"I felt like it. C'mon, do I need to have a reason?"

"I only wondered."

"Shoot, now this is too dry. Get me some water, will you?"

"First you added flour because it was too sticky. Now you are putting water on it because it is not sticky enough. There is definitely a wasted step here."

"Don't you get sarcastic with me. I've got a spoon and I'm not afraid to use it."

"You are bluffing."

"Oh yeah?"

"Ow!"

"How's that for a bluff? I'll do it again."

"Ow! Stop it!"

"This is enough for a first batch, right? I'll start preheating the oven."

"You should have done that earlier. It is called preheating for a purpose."

"Do you see this eggbeater?"

"Yes, it is right- "

"Do you see your fingers?"

"They are on my hand- ah."

"Exactly."

"You are threatening me."

"Yes, I am."

"May I ask why?"

"Hand me that pan; the oven's ready. And to answer your question: no."