Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor the song "Fly Away" by Poe- and no, not Edger Allen Poe. P
A/N: Alright, this is something a bit new by my, but... Let's just see where it goes... (Listens to song on repeat and begins to type away.
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Fly Away
Like The Birds Do
By Sakura-chan88
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Phobia. That's what Kagome calls it. The fear you have- the things your afraid of, the things that make you scream bloody murder. Like spiders, or snakes. Or words longer than fourteen letters; though that particular fear confuses me, I take it seriously.
Just like all others I know of from those around me.
They all fear losing something, or someone. Everyone fears it.
Sango, she fears losing another person close to her heart like she did Kohaku and the rest of her village. That's why she fights with us- to defeat Naraku whom gave her fear reason.
Miroku is scared of dying by the Kazaana, the wind tunnel bestowed on him through his grandfather- his grandfather who gained it from Naraku. That's why he fights with us- to defeat the hanyou whom shortened his life spand.
Inuyasha... Inuyasha's afraid of losing Kagome. He's afraid of losing his soul mate for the second time in a single life-span. He's afraid of Naraku getting the completed Shikon no Tama. He's afraid of being alone. He's afraid of hurting us, he's afraid of not being able to save us, he's afraid of changing. Yet, he strives to change.
Everything changes though. The sky, the grass, the trees, water, direction, life, love, hate, hurt, happiness. Everyone changes, too.
Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, and myself...
And Kagome...
That's what I fear. I fear Kagome's change. The change she's going through right now.
The change that has become our phobia.
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It makes sense that it
Should happen this way
That the sky should break
And the Earth should shake
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They swung in the breeze, their chains creeking lightly. Empty as they were, memories filled them.
They arched at a painful angle, holding up an invisible object. They met, pulled apart, and met again.
It stood, solid and unyeilding, gently declining and sparkling in the sunlight. It giggled, squeeled with glee.
These memories- those of youth, of childhood. They played out in the blissful air before her eyes, the peaceful, happy air before eyes shielding a troubled, turbulent mind. A darkened closet.
The swings, the jungle gym, the slide...
It was the playground all children saw- that all children occupy once in their life.
It was the perfect display of innocence and joy. Here, they had fun. Here, they laughed. Here, they played.
Here, the child in everyone's mind resided. Forever young, forever innocent, forever ignorant and happy.
/Here... Here, I'll remain happy... Here I'll stay... away from the pain.../
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As if to say, sure it don't matter
But in such an important way
As if to say:
Fly away
Sweet bird of prey
Fly fly away
Nothing can stand in your way
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Sango paused mid-sentence. Something in the air troubled her. No youkai, no evil. It was a distraught aura spreading through the air. Disturbing, projecting hurt. Her eyes sparked, moving from the dark blue of Miroku's irises to the ashen face of Kagome's profile.
She frowned.
There her friend, her best friend, her heart's sister, sat staring with a small smile at the sky above her. Her hair barely moved in the stirring breeze. Arms bent and traveled to clasped hands resting limply on drawn-in knees. The gaze she sent to the empty space in front of her was almost wistful. Her blue orbs sparkled, yet stayed as dull as the sun was bright.
Ghostly still.
Sango sighed and looked around to find Inuyasha standing on Kagome's other side, further off than usual. It did not surprise her to see his scowl firmly in place. What did surprise her was the intense thoughtful look on his face.
His saddened eyes.
She licked her dry lips and gazed back up to Miroku. No words were needed. They both knew what had been going on.
Kagome was slowly fading away. Slowly leaving them all. No one could let her go, and she was holding on for them.
Over the past few months, she'd grown farther apart with them all. She easily pulled herself into the background, barely noticeable. An entity with no form, forgotten when not presented, forgiven without hesitation. Lost in her own mind, a cheery expression always present, Kagome had become a withdrawn being, a child.
They would ask, 'are you okay?' and she'd reply, 'always,' with a soft, youthful smile so full of blissful comprehension.
She knew what was happening.
Sango bit her lip and turned once more to watch the shell of her sister throw her hands in the air and giggle as a tear ran down Kagome's cheek.
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Sweet bird
If you knew the words
I know that you'd say
Fly, fly away
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Miroku observed his friends' reactions to the unexpected event. Inuyasha looked away with a pained grimace, Shippo sniffled and clung to Sango's shoulder, and the exterminator collapsed to her knees, bringing her hands to her face to stiffle the sobs of heartache.
To see such a dear friend regress right before your eyes- to see a full grown woman, a miko as she was, act as a two year old and cry with the knowledge of what was happening to her- was too much for even the toughest of hearts to bear without impact of any kind.
It had been far too long since Miroku looked into Kagome's eyes and saw her looking back. Now, he would only see an emptiness of which he'd expect from an infant- albeit filled with life, they were so vacant.
He shifted his robes and knelt beside Sango, picking up the kitsune and hugging him to his chest for comfort. Sango moved to wrap her arms around him and cry into his shoulder, seeking that which he gave Shippo.
There it was that he felt his life crumble out of his grasp.
What had happened to the beautiful miko who befriended him? What had happened to the wonderful woman who, bless her soul, tolerated and saved him on countless occassions?
Where had Kagome gone?
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It makes sense that it
Should hurt in this way
That my heart should break
And my hands should shake
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Inuyasha felt his insides turn cold.
He knew.
Yes, he knew.
It was his fault, forcing her to return when she couldn't take anymore.
It was his fault for wanting her with him, beside him always.
It was his fault she had become a child again.
It was his fault she would never be who she could have been.
Kagome's giggle died out, her hands swinging forward to clap together. She nodded vigorously, her eyes blank, her expression vividly happy.
How was it possible... to be dead inside, know it, and still be joyful?
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As if to say, sure it don't matter
Except in the most important way
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"Let's play hopscotch!"
"Yay!"
"Kagome, come play with us!"
"My mommy said not to play with strangers..."
"We aren't strangers, silly! I'm Sango, remember?"
"Sango?"
"Yeah!"
"I'm Miroku! That's Inuyasha, and he's Shippo!"
"I remember you. You went to my school, didn't you?"
"Fifteenth grade!"
/I was fifteen when I met you all for the first time.../ "Right! I remember you!"
"So, do you wanna play hopscotch with us?"
"Yeah, it will be fun!"
"That's for girls."
"Come on, Inuyasha, it's still fun!"
"If Inuyasha plays, I will..." /Only if Inuyasha's there... Only if he's there to help me.../
/Let me fly away, Inuyasha-/
"Come on, Inuyasha! Please play! I want Kagome to play too!"
"Keh! Fine..."
/- and fly with me.../
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As if to say:
Fly away
Sweet bird of prey
Fly fly away
I won't stand in your way
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Inuyasha sighed as Kagome stood and started hopping oddly in a straight line, counting, "ichi, ni, san, yon, go, roku, nana, hachi, kyuu, juu!"
It was time, and he knew it. He had to give her what she wanted...
He stalked forward with his shoulders slumped and his head bowed. Kagome sensed him coming near and stopped, looking up to smile brightly at him. "See, it's not so girly! You do it!"
"Kagome..."
"Inuyasha, come on! Play with me!"
His gaze rose, locking with her hazy, unfocused eyes. With a gentle hand, he brushed back her bangs, trailing his fingers down her cheek.
"Thanks! I didn't even-"
"Fly away..."
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Sweet bird
If you knew the words
I know that you'd say
Fly, fly away
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The ground met her feet each time she hopped with a satisfying, gravelly crunch. Shoes smashed stray pebbles into the pavement. Laughter rang about her, her friends clapping and cheering her on.
"Ichi-"
'Fly away...'
"-ni, san, yon, go-"
'Go, Kagome... fly away and go home... live your life...'
/My only life was with you.../
"-roku, nana-"
'The life I stole... I'm so sorry.'
"Hachi, kyuu, juu!"
/Inuyasha.../
'Fly away...'
She finished with a triumphant chirp. Looking around, she found Miroku, Sango, and Shippo cheering her on. Inuyasha was beside her, holding her hand and whispering.
"Fly away..."
She took a deep, happy breath, grinning as she asked, "like the birds do?"
"Yeah, just like a bird! Fly home, to your family!"
Kagome frowned, squeezing his hand for assurance. "Will you be here when I come back?"
"I'll wait here for you, forever."
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It makes sense that it
Should feel this way
That to slowly fade
And yet still remain
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He watched as his sister smiled at the clear air, taking a deep breath. She looked so peaceful, lost in the playground of her mind. Three years had passed since she last traveled through time. Still, she was a child. Still, she played and giggled and cried.
Still, she cast curious gazes toward the well house.
She blinked, turned her head to look at him and, as if reading his mind, changed stance to look upon the well house. She sighed.
Souta started sharply, eyes widening at the sudden new display. She hadn't sighed since her regression had began!
"Fly away, Inuyasha... Fly home with my love... my life..."
Souta smiled softly as Kagome grinned at giggled, hopping again in an invisible game of hopscotch.
"See, Inuyasha? It's so easy to do- come on!"
She'd always argue with him.
Even if only in her mind.
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As if to say
Everything matters in such an invisible way
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His worst fear, as I learned that day when I stood beside him at the top of Goshinboku, watching Kagome argue with the Inuyasha she would forever remember, forever play with inside her mind, was the fear of living and letting go.
Living longer than those he loved. Just as he outlived Kikyou... Sango... Miroku...
He would have outlive her as well, had she stayed. Perhaps this helped him let go, though I'll never know.
And I was there... I was there to find his fear was my own.
"Fly away..." He whispered. His eyes closed slowly, a peaceful smile crossing his lips, as, for the last time, he told her what she wanted to hear with his final breath. "And I'll fly with you..."
And she smiled, hearing it on the passing breeze.
That day, I realized my own true fear.
The fear of living and letting go.
Phobia. That's what Kagome calls it.
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As if to say
It's okay....
Fly away
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Yeesh! That's not what I meant to write! (Sighs) Ah, well... I never can get out what I want to... Never can say exactly what I want to... Personal reasons, I suppose...
For update progress, just check the end of my bio. I know it's taking forever, but I can't think straight for certain stories... for certain reasons... I guess I've just changed a lot, but how or in what ways... I still don't know... (Let's say I'm worried that I may be slipping into a bought of depression... even though I have nothing to be depressed about... heh...)
I think I've wondered enough out loud. (Smiles) I can't believe I'm going to post this the day I wrote it, but... I can't wait to post it, or I'll forget it... Like I have so many other stories... that are just sitting around... still... half finished... (Sighs) God, I have an awful memory...
Anyway-
Thanks for reading. I hope you liked it.
Please review only if you feel this one-shot deserves a review!
P.S. If anyone wants to hear the song, give me an email address and I may (or may not) be able to send it... it all depends on my internet and piece-of-junk computer...