Okay, just bear with me. I don't know if I'll be writing more one shots like this. I'm experimenting with my writing and not to mention that I am extremely paranoid about certain characters fates at the end of this seas, so PLEASE just bear with me. Leave a review, the next time I post, it'll be a new chapter of "Life Unexpected."
It didn't matter anymore how long it had been. He would never move on. He had tried. He had tried so many times to move on from what had happened. He had tried so hard to push away the memories of the only happiness he had had in his life. The happiness that had been so unjustly snatched from him, just as every bit of happiness he had ever obtained. He was destined to be miserable. He had lost everything. The one thing he had worked so hard for was gone. The one person who he had fought for for so long was gone and not even he could have saved her. He could picture her in his mind's eye. The way she looked the last time he saw her. If only he had known that was going to be the last time. If only he had gone with her. Then she wouldn't have died alone. If only he had told her to wait a little while before leaving. If only he hadn't let her go at all. Maybe then she would still be here beside him. Maybe then he would be happy again.
He couldn't help but wonder where they would be now, year after her death. Maybe they wouldn't have even been together anymore. But that didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. There was nothing left for him. He had needed her in his life. With her gone he didn't know how to live anymore. He couldn't even function properly. He couldn't do the one thing that he had been doing for so long. He couldn't do his job. The day she died was the day he lost everything. He was useless without her.
He didn't believe in the after life, but sometimes he could have sworn he felt her there with him. If he closed his eyes, he could picture her beside him where she belonged. He could hear the laugh that he missed so much. He could feel her smooth skin against his. He could feel her lips on his. He could feel her fingers running across his arms, where they so often had been. Sometimes if he stood in the threshold to his bathroom, he could hear her. He could hear everything she had said to him that night she sought him out. After he had tried so hard to gain her affection he had finally gotten it. Just as he was about to give up on everything, she had come to him. She had saved him. She had been his savior. She had seen him in his darkest hour. She had excepted him for who he was. She had loved him for being himself. She had fixed him when he was broken. Yet, here he was, once more in need of fixing. How could he possibly move on? He saw her in everything. He would see her sitting in the recliner in his office. In the time they had been together she had taken to staying with him on those grueling nights where he had to spend in his office brooding over his current case. She had stuck with him through everything. She had looked over him in his time of need. She had protected him in so many ways. She had protected him from himself. She made him better.
He had never deserved her. He had never deserved the love of such a strong, independent woman. Losing her was proof of that. She had been the only woman he had truly ever loved. She would always be the only woman he had truly loved. He had tried to push away the thought of her. It was impossible to keep the thoughts away. She had become a part of him. A part that would always remain with him.
As he stood in front of her gravestone, he could almost feel her presence. He could almost feel her standing over his shoulder, as a protector of sort, a guardian angel. He knew that even after she was gone, that she had continued to look after him. He didn't believe in the after life. Yet now here he was, longing, almost praying, that when his time came, that he would be with her once more.