Perfection
Dana was perfect in every single way and she had Nate, you were nothing compared to her. All he ever spoke to you about was how much he loved her and how she was the one, how talented she was and how she understood him like no one else.
She was beautiful, something you aren't. She was talented, something you also aren't.
You can't help but fake a smile and nod, pretending to be happy whenever he goes on and on about her.
In reality, no other girl would know him like you do. You have known him since you were thirteen, when you first went to Camp Rock, you knew him before he was famous and know there is more to him than him just being a celebrity who hundreds of thousands of girls idolise and adore.
Dana had him though and that was something you couldn't say no matter how much you dreamt of it. You didn't have him, he wasn't yours. He was your friend and that was all.
You walk towards the front door, your curly hair bouncing with every step you take. You don't know what to expect when you walk in his house, the ones he shares with his band mates, as she will be there.
Sighing, you raise your right arm and knock on the door three times and wait. In only a few seconds, the door is open and your best friend stands before you with a smile on her face.
"Caitlyn!" She exclaims, grabbing your hands and pulling you inside, "I've missed you."
Letting out a smile for her you give her a hug, "I've missed you too, Mitch." You admit softly. Mitchie was the only one who knew of your feelings for Nate; you trusted her with your life and knew she wouldn't even tell her boyfriend, Nate's band mate and best friend.
"Gellar!" You hear her boyfriend shout from the opposite side of the room, he quickly approaches and scoops you up in a hug.
"Shane," You giggle lightly, "Always enthusiastic I see."
He sets you down and you look over his shoulder to see Nate at the piano. You grin as his eyes meet yours and he stands up to come over and greet you. You see that Dana is there too, she had been sitting at the piano with him and your smile falters slightly.
"Hey." He says, embracing you tightly, "How are you?"
You close your eyes in his arms and it feels right, it feels perfect.
"Hi," You manage to reply, "I've been good."
You see the icy glare that Dana is giving you and you try your best to ignore it, focussing on the boy that means the world to you as he is right in front of you.
Shane and Mitchie have relocated to the couch only a few metres away and you can see Mitchie watching the two of you intently. She never really had taken a liking to Dana but never said anything to Nate as she was his friend too and wanted him to be happy.
Your eyes return to him and you feel butterflies in your stomach as you see that he is still looking at you.
"I've missed you." He tells you fondly.
Your heart skips a beat at this and you are speechless, you find it a little hard to breathe in his presence and can never seem to string together a coherent sentence when you talk to him.
You simply smile, processing his words and wishing that they meant so much more, and of course you try and remember how to breathe.
He takes his attention off of you as Dana begins to play the piano she is still sitting at.
Dejectedly, you watch him go back over and sit next to her at the piano.
"Come over and listen." He instructs you, and you do so. You do so for him.
"Hi." You say out of politeness to Dana, resting your hands lightly on the top of the piano.
She gives you a pathetic half-smile and Nate doesn't seem to notice. Dana and you barely ever speak and when you do, it's her making you feel small. To everyone else she is the sweetest person but to you, it's another story and you believe it's because she knows you feel something for her boyfriend.
Nate fell for her at Camp Rock; she was the daughter of the owner of Camp Star, their rival camp. Many called them Romeo and Juliet because no one would approve of their relationship or of their feelings for each other. Of course the camps ended up agreeing to become allies in the end, meaning they could be together without feeling any guilt or shame.
Dana played the piano effortlessly, she was simply amazing and could captivate anyone with her playing, regardless of whether or not they had an appreciation for music or not.
You played too; you had done for years but did not even compete with her. You couldn't compete with her talent, her good looks and couldn't help but envy her because she has him.
He smiles at her as she plays, his eyes not leaving her now. You are now simply forgotten and you feel empty, you aren't whole without him.
The best feeling in the world was being with Nate; when you are with him, you are at your happiest. Without him you are alone and always would be, so you keep on smiling and you keep on pretending. You pretend that his friendship is all you want, that you are nothing but his friend, that girl he has known since before his fame when you were thirteen.
You never acted on your feelings, he was famous and you were never good enough for him. He was off touring the world and for years you dismissed those feelings, pushed them away because his life was just beginning and you would never see him.
Camp Rock was the first time you were able to reconnect with him in a very long time. It had been a few months since then and every day, you feel yourself needing him more and more. But he fell for her, he fell for her as all your feelings for him came flooding back.
You had been there the whole time but he was happy and you couldn't be the one to ruin that for him.
"Heart and Soul?" Nate asked Dana, snapping you out of your thoughts.
"Sure." She grinned and they started playing together.
Dana shoots you a nasty look and you roll your eyes, taking it as your cue to let them be.
Sitting on the couch next to you best friend, you can't help but frown. She gives you a sympathetic look and reaches for your hand, squeezing it reassuringly in her own.
"I'm going to go." You decide not too long later. Dana and Nate were off upstairs somewhere now and you want to be able to leave without having to say goodbye to them as you aren't feeling up to seeing him with her again.
Sadly you leave, Shane knows something is up and you give Mitchie and approving nod as you say goodbye. She knows it means that she can tell Shane about your feelings and that you are fine with him knowing now, he is your friend too after all.
You walk through the coldness that is New Jersey, in the winter months, and get to your car. In a mere matter of seconds you are in your car and you want nothing more to drive away, away from him.
You pause though, just for a moment, and look at yourself in your rear-view mirror. You pretend so much around him now that you don't know what you are currently feeling. Looking into your sad eyes, you know you have never felt so strongly for anyone in your life but don't know what the emotion is that is making you feel this way.
"Caitlyn!" He yells and it sends shivers throughout your entire body.
You see Nate run around to the driver's side of the car and you take a deep breath before pressing the button for your car window to go down.
"What's wrong with you, why didn't you bother saying goodbye?" He asks, and you know there is a hint of anger in his voice.
"I'm sorry." You say under your breath.
"Are you sorry for not saying goodbye or for treating Dana like crap?" He asks, his eyes staring through your own. His face is only a foot away from your own and you study it, taking in every freckle and noticing the curl that falls over his forehead.
"I want to get along with her, she is making it difficult." You admit. It is the first time you have ever spoke ill of her to him and you are afraid of how he will react.
"You're my friend Caitlyn and she is my girlfriend, you need to try harder because she means a lot to me."
Friend.
The words hits you hard and the tears begin to cascade down your face as you know any chance of being more are now definitely over.
He was perfect and you know the thoughts about you and him being together would never cross his mind. He was perfect and you are far from it, you couldn't blame him for it though as he was just being himself. He was still the boy you met when you were thirteen years old.
"Go back to her then." You whisper through your tears, although it hurts to say it and you push the button for your window to go back up.
He stills looks angry but there is some concern in his eyes but you look back to your rear-view mirror to look at your own eyes once more.
You know what you feel now.
Love.
You love him.
Stepping on the accelerator, you drive off away from him. You don't dare to look into your rear-view mirror now as you don't want to see him at all as it will hurt too much.
You feel broken; you want your heart to stop beating as the pain was becoming unbearable. Never in your wildest dreams could you imagine acting the way you just did, hurting Nate who you now realised you do love.
The twenty minute drive home isn't easy, you want to forget him but he is Nate after all. Not Nate of Connect 3, but just Nate. He isn't so easy to forget at all.
You however would be easier to forget, he had Dana who was everything that you aren't. She was the one that Nate loved and you were just some girl he had met at music camp before he met her.
Making your way up to your bedroom, you ignore your parents and don't even care that it is only eight o'clock at night. Every step up the staircase, your heart aches just a little more and more. Kicking off your shoes, you don't bother getting changed and you get into your warm bed.
Your dreams would be your only escape as you had royally messed everything up with him now.
Closing your eyes, you do dream of him. You dream of the two of you together and how perfect you would be for one another because in your dreams, anything at all is possible.
A tapping at your balcony window brings you back to reality, bringing you out of your slumber and you can see him standing there. Rubbing your eyes, you get out of bed and see that he has a blank expression on his face.
Turning the lock of the door, you open it and step out onto your balcony, preparing yourself as you know the friendship is over and that is why he is here.
Usually you would have made some sarcastic remark about boys on balconies being something that only happens in movies but you can't right now, you know you have to let him go even though you don't want to know what life without him is like.
"Hey." He says, his voice just above a whisper.
He is standing only half a metre away and your body gets chills that you know aren't caused by the cold night air.
"Why are you here?" You question him, slightly hysterically.
"I want to apologise..." He trails off and you can't help but notice how his eyes sparkle in the moonlight.
"Why are you here then? Why now?" You demand to know, staring him down.
"I tried to call your phone eight times and you wouldn't answer." He defends himself, not raising his voice at all. It is soothing and you kind of still want nothing more than to have him regardless of him loving someone else, you want him to sing to you, be the one he sings to sleep at night.
"I left my phone in my car." You realise as the words leave your mouth.
He runs a hand through his curly hair and looks away for just a moment before retuning his gaze to yours.
"I broke up with Dana."
As soon as the words leave his mouth you are shocked and you don't know what to say. They were in love, they were perfect for each other and practically everyone wanted them together.
"I don't know what to say." You confess in a whisper and you mean it. The boy you love has ended things suddenly with the girl he said he had loved a countless amount of times in the past.
"She's not the one for me and I thought I loved her but I think I was wrong...I want to apologise for treating you how I did earlier."
You blink intentionally and take in what he says, trying to process the fact that he no longer believes that he loves her or ever had done so in the first place.
"It's okay..." You trail off and somehow you believe it. You haven't lost him; he is still your friend.
"Look, Dana said some things after you left. I came back into the house and I admitted I was angry with you and she began bitching about you, saying cruel things that weren't true at all. It made me realise that I didn't really know who she was, especially if she could talk about one of my friends like that."
There was that word again.
Friend.
You stay silent, the only sound is the wind and Nate's steady breathing and you have to refrain from wrapping your arms around him as it is all you need right now.
"I defended you...you are beautiful I hope you know. Your eyes are always bright; your hair always looks amazing and smells good. You are talented; you play piano, mix music and are probably the best dancer I have ever met."
You know he is defending words Dana clearly said about you and you don't care about the harsh things that she has told him as he doesn't believe them.
"You are caring," He goes on, reaching out and placing his hands on your shoulders, "You are nice and you always look out for everyone. You are funny, witty, sarcastic and so stubborn...it's what makes you, you Caitlyn and I wouldn't change anything about you because you are perfect to me."
"Nate..." You whisper, not knowing what else to say. You have dreamt of hearing these words from him for so long and now it was a reality.
"I like you, Caitlyn...I did back when we first met but pushed everything aside when the band got signed. I guess I just took too long to realise that I do still like you and Dana knew somehow before me that I liked you too...I guess it is why she didn't like you."
This always happened in the movies too, just like boys climbing up balconies. But you wouldn't comment on it at all because Nate was what mattered and you didn't care about anything else at that moment.
Placing your hands on his chest warily, you bite your lower lip, "You know how I feel don't you?"
He nodded, his hands falling down to your waist but not letting go, "Yeah, Shane gave you up."
"I'm going to kill him." You giggle, breaking into a smile and his mouth turn into one too; he had a smile that could explode.
You feel him reach up and push a strand of hair behind your ear and you are speechless, it was something that only Nate could do to you.
You stare into his brown orbs and fill whole, you feel complete. He is staring back, the smile still on his face.
"You really are perfect, Caitlyn." He murmurs, and you believe him, you actually believe his words.
Your eyes flutter close as he leans into you, closing the remaining gap that is left between you and capturing your lips in his own. You are grateful he is holding onto you as you feel weak at the knees so you wrap your arms around his neck as your kiss becoming more passionate by the second and you don't want it to ever come to an end.
Every moment the two of you had shared had all built up to this and there was only one word to describe it.
Perfection.