A note from the author: This wasn't even meant to be an All-in-the-Family fanfiction at first. I just felt like creating a classroom atmosphere and inserting the first quirky television character I could think of. And this is how it turned out:
Chapter 1: Introduction to Integration
It was the first day of the integration workshop. Archie Bunker found a place to stand and smoke in the back of the room. A sea of heads dropped, almost in unison, as the class took their seats. Only Archie was left standing. The group turned and watched him. Grumbling, Archie put out his cigar and found a seat.
"Today," began the instructor, a beautiful black woman with long, glossy hair,
"Today, we'll start by getting to know each other. The first step to integration is understanding. Then comes tolerance.
"Before I pair you up, I'd like you to all shake hands. I'd even like to see some friendly embraces. Now find someone of a different race, and get to know them. Go on, get up," she urged them.
Archie brought himself to his feet and glared around him, daring someone to get near him. Out of nowhere, two black arms wrapped around Archie's mass. He cried out and shoved the man off of him.
"What da hell do ya think yer doin'!" Archie demanded.
"Tolerance, understanding, brotherly love..." explained the man.
"Now, listen here! I ain't your brother and I sure as hell don't love yeh!"
"Alright, alright, I hear you," replied the man with his hands to his shoulders in a defensive gesture. He turned around, and Archie watched him attack another white man. Before he could watch the man's response, Archie turned to leave the room.
The instructor met him at the door.
"Just where do you think you're going?"
"I was goin' ter get oudda dis hellhole," replied Archie.
"What, you didn't find any decent people worth knowing? Or," leaning into him, her coal-black eyes glowing, she propounded "Is your strong prejudice veiling those beautiful blue eyes of yours?"
Archie's eyes widened and his eyebrows chased his receded hairline.
"If you stay," whispered the woman, "I might just give you an after-class tutoring session."
"Now, why da hell would I want to be tutored for a dumb class I don' even wanna be in in da firs' place!" The woman put her finger to Archie's lips.
"Oh, believe me, you thick-skulled, white supremacist lard ass," she spoke, an ebony hand reaching his plump rear end, "You'll want this lesson."
The bulge in Archie's pants indicated that he understood.
A/N: Wow. I didn't mean for it to go there. The story has a mind of its own. Heheh.
I might just write another chapter if I get any reviews.
Not that I count on that happening.