Tempting Fate — Part 1

I thought dying would be, well…different.

Turns out…it's all in how you look at it. As for me, I really didn't know what I was expecting, but it sure as hell wasn't this. Excuse the total decimation of the fourth wall here, but, I mean, come on—I'm sure you've all read, watched, or at least heard about InuYasha, right? I remember the first it popped up on my radar, I was around fifteen or so. That was sometime in 2012 therebouts and the whole thing kicked off in the nineties or whatever—so it was already around ten years old more or less. To me, back then, ten-year-old anime was old, and cartoons were for kids, and I was a fifteen-year-old Harry Potter snob and above all that shit.

Still didn't stop me from succumbing to curiosity at some point.

I powered through the whole series, including movies, in less than three days. Couldn't tell you what drove me, but I was determined to get to the end of it. Thinking back, maybe it was fate (may the gods curse such a thing for existing). I came, I saw, I loved, laughed, and cried…and then I moved on with my life. But I never forgot. Never. Not even after I died.

Oh, and apparently reincarnation is actually a thing.

And take it from someone who knows—I've found it doesn't really matter who you are, or what you do in life. The end result is fairly unanimous for just about everyone. From honor student to serial killer, no matter what you do…you're pretty much fucked, either way. The universe has a grudge against everyone, and I don't care if mommy says you're her little angel, you're not going to get out of this one. Because everyone has to die sometime.

Mine was a real fuckin' mess, lemme tell ya. Not pretty. It must've been so horrible, that the universe itself deigned my existence intolerable because, evidently, it kicked me out and stuck me in a new one somewhere between one life and the next. Now, I was this one's problem…and let's just say things weren't exactly looking up.

So, here's the thing… I came into the new world much the same as I had exited the last one, with horrible, screaming, bloody death. Yeah. First of all, childbirth is not something anyone should have to go through, much less remember experiencing. Second of all, I don't even think it's natural. Otherwise, so many women wouldn't have to die during the process of doing it.

If I had any idea what the hell was actually happening at the time, and sheer terror and confusion wasn't clouding my poor, infantile mind, I probably would have hated myself for what I did to my poor mother. As it was…I didn't quite fully understand my situation until I was around two years old, and by that time, I had already come to the solid realization that there was no going back. You can't turn back time or reverse what's been done. Life doesn't work that way…so far as this particular reality went, mostly.

Now, I've learned a fair few things about reincarnation from my new big sister. Apparently the souls of the dead can transcend time, space—just about anything. Souls are power, and each time a soul is reincarnated, that power grows with experience. What makes a soul reincarnate? Who the hell knows? All I know is that I sure as hell didn't ask for this.

In some ways, I guess I was lucky. In this world, you manage to kill your own mother coming out of her, you're pretty much screwed six ways to Sunday. Not a lot of people were willing to take in orphans. In fact, you weren't safe even if you weren't an orphan! Some families just had too many kids, and couldn't take care of them. So, what to do? Why, abandon said child at a convenient shrine and hope for the best, of course…and that some youkai didn't come along and eat the poor defenseless thing. But I digress…

Like I said, I was lucky, if you want to call it that. I had a big sister who loved me very much, and was pure hearted enough to forgive me for taking our mother away. She took care of me, and made sure I grew healthy and strong, survived the winter, and all that. On the other hand, my sister's name was Kikyo, so luck might not have had anything to do with it…

A lifetime ago, Kikyo had been a fairytale character—and not one of my favorites, just gotta say. I knew her mostly as the frigid, vengeful wraith of a dead woman, who wanted to drag cute, cuddly, irascible Inuyasha down to hell with her. And Kaede? I had to say, I thought the sibling relationship between the two was just plain bizarre. You're brought back from the dead, and all you want to do is drag your old boyfriend down to hell with you? But that was just a story I heard once. Kikyo and Kaede weren't just made up characters anymore. I was Kaede, and Kikyo was Onee-sama.

And I'd die a hundred times over again before I would let anything bad happen to her. Unfortunately, the twist my existence put in fate reared its first ugly head when I asked Onee-sama if I could be a miko too.

Her serene, beautiful face was marred with a frown as her hand rested over my heart. She removed it, then her callused fingers caressed my cheeks as her brown eyes searched mine for something I could not name. "How careless. I had not realized until now… It is no wonder the village has been attacked so many times in the last two winters."

My brow furrowed in confusion. "What is it, Onee-sama? What's wrong?"

She shook her head, running a hand through my unruly, shoulder length locks. (I wondered if it would look like Onee-sama's when it grew out). "Nothing. I have simply overlooked something that may have saved much grief…" She closed her eyes solemnly, then opened them again to fix me with a gentle smile that surprised me no matter how many times she favored me with it. "You are a very special child, Kaede-chan. Worry not. Big Sister will protect you."

The sentiment sent a warm pang through my chest, but still, I could not help but ask quietly, "…Who will protect you?"

She froze, her dark eyes widening just a fraction before settling back into their tranquil preset, however, a certain sorrowful sentiment rested behind them as she brushed my bangs from my face tenderly. "I am a miko," she said softly, as if the answer explained itself.

I steeled my resolve when I asked a question I found myself asking more and more as I continued learning this strange new language, "What does that mean?"

Amusement danced in her eyes as she stood gracefully and took my hand in hers, leading me down the road towards the village shrine. It was not the village of Edo that I remembered from a fairytale a lifetime ago. Kikyo traveled from time to time, exterminating threats that approached the village, but they were growing worse, and it was wearing on her greatly. "That depends on which miko you ask," she finally replied.

We left the village within the week, and headed south. It was safer that way. She didn't say as much, but as we continued to travel from temple to temple, shrine to shrine, I knew the demons that inevitably followed were after me. Onee-sama was powerful. Very powerful. But she worked hard to get that way.

"Raw power is unpredictable, Kaede," she warned me quietly as we passed a bridge that had been taken out by the strengthened current of the swollen river rushing along beside us. "Power is not strength unless you can control it. You must be especially careful to remember this from now on."

From that point on, we stayed longer at the shrines we passed in our travels. At each one, I learned something new from those who inhabited them. We even stopped at a place where a fearsome red oni was sealed away in a pagoda. That was where we met the grand monk Yatsuro and his disciple…Tsubaki. Her hair was black, her eyes an unnerving shade of blue. We stayed there the longest, and I was… Believe it or not, I was happy. For a time.

"You learn quickly," a coy voice demurred from behind as my arrow hit its target.

I whirled around, holding my bow reflexively before me as a barrier sparked to life briefly before sparking out again just as quickly. The strands of my loosely bound hair whipped against my cheek in my alarm. I hadn't even sensed her. Still couldn't sense her.

Wait.

My eyes narrowed. "Shikigami." And then I promptly charged the haft of my bow full of purifying energy and slashed the illusion right in half. The false Tsubaki faded, leaving two halves of a paper-made doll to drift gracefully towards the earth. I then turned to look up into the bows of the nearby maple tree as a slow clapping reached my ears.

"Very good." I couldn't help but find her tone condescending as she descended almost as gracefully as a falling leaf, her footsteps making no sound as they touched down to the ground. She stood and smiled, her brows arched. She was beautiful, yes, but now that I looked at her more closely, there was also an arrogant lilt to her lips, and a sheen of faint cruelty behind her pearly blue eyes. She frightened me.

Still, I lowered my bow and bowed at the waist accordingly. Tsubaki was a grand miko of very high standing after all. Disrespect of any kind was unacceptable. "I apologize, Tsubaki-sama. I wasn't expecting you here."

"No, but you evidently still have your wits about you…" She stepped closer, closing the distance between us, each tiny foot placed daintily after the other, balanced, as if walking on a tightrope; somehow, it still came off as predatory. I had to fight not to flinch away as she reached forward with one finger under my chin and tilted my face more towards the light, her eyes calculating and thoughtful as she spoke plainly, "You're not as pretty as your sister…but you might yet grow into your own sort of beauty in time." Her wickedly shaped lips curled into a devious smile. "Certainly, with that power of yours, you will no doubt surpass that woman…"

I frowned at her remarks, unsettled. Still, I only replied with, "Onee-sama says power is the reason youkai follow us. They will come to this place too eventually… They always come."

To my astonishment, there was just the slightest softening to the harsh pierce of her eyes and she moved her hand to rest atop my head lightly. "Ah, yes…youkai do tend to flock towards such precious things, don't they?" She moved so her face was very close to mine then, and whispered with a conspiratorial smile, "…But we need not be afraid of youkai, you and me. There is much to be gained from such creatures, after all."

I blinked once, slightly stunned, though the notion was not new to me. All the same, I asked quietly, "…What sorts of things?"

Tsubaki's smile grew. "Are you afraid of youkai, Kaede-chan?"

Slowly, after thinking about it for a long moment, I shook my head. "There are worse things to fear."

The woman smoothed down my bangs, and her eyes glowed as if confirming something. "Smart girl." She straightened, and took my hand in hers. "Come along then," she said brusquely, the smile still in place on her razor edged lips, "and I will teach you something useful." She paused and eyed me knowingly. "Or would you rather continue breathing practice with your Onee-sama?"

I narrowed my eyes. They'd grown sharp and narrow from the habit. I was good at picking up on things, guessing the motives of others, and I was almost positive I was being manipulated for some purpose or other… But this Tsubaki—though vain, cruel, arrogant, and a hundred other things—did not seem quite so malevolent as I knew her to be in her intent this time. She held my hand gently, and I could feel the thrum of her power. Though not as potent as Onee-sama's…it was still terribly strong. What's more, Tsubaki seemed to be very straight forward.

I could only imagine that, unlike Onee-sama, Tsubaki's teachings would be just as straightforward as she was in demeanor.

With that, I steeled my resolve and stated with only a hint of disdain in my voice, "…I already know how to breathe."

Tsubaki's smile grew even wider

I handled the small, drawstring bag carefully, running the silk tassels through my fingers to feel the smoothness against my skin. I could feel the outline of beads within the embroidered cloth satchel, and hear the soft sounds as they jingled against each other almost musically. Kikyo sent me one of those looks she'd been favoring me with for several months. I'd learned to ignore them for the most part. But then she spoke, her voice piercing though my far away thoughts like one of her arrows.

"What did Tsubaki-sama give you, Kaede-chan?" she asked softly.

I looked up at her slowly as we walked side by side, and carefully measured my response. I shrugged. There was no reason to be dishonest. "It's merely a parting gift… A spell."

Kikyo nodded gravely. "Did you make sure to thank her properly?"

"She said as long as I use it wisely, and return to her one day alive to tell of it, then it will be thanks enough," I repeated the words said to me, then took a moment to examine my sister carefully. Her eyes were cast downwards and unreadable. But Kikyo was my sister, and I knew her well. "You do not get along with her," I ventured without preamble.

She raised her eyes to look at me solemnly, and stated plainly, "She despises me."

"She does." I agreed, nodding with a similar sentiment to my tone.

She seemed to hesitate for a long moment before asking nearly inaudibly, "…Do you despise me too, little sister?"

I stared straight ahead of me for a time, then looked upon her with conviction. "Never." Feeling bolder, I stepped closer to thread my fingers through her hand gently, and elaborated, "Life is not a popularity contest, you know."

When her eyes danced with laughter, and her fingers squeezed lightly around mine, I felt more accomplished than when I had subjugated my first youkai with Tsubaki-sama.

We ended up crossing paths with Tsubaki-sama again not too long after—a year or two, maybe. We stumbled into each other every now and again, this time inadvertently happening upon the same extermination gig. A whole hoard of youkai were going around appearing out of thin air and wantonly laying waste to any surrounding villages or travelers unfortunate enough to be in the same general area. It was really growing to become quite a nuisance. We were just another method of pest control, quite frankly. We decided to work together.

Tsubaki-sama wielded a naginata that she hadn't had the last time I'd seen her, and Kikyo held her bow, poised, solemn, and graceful as ever. I was still growing, and my long bow was taller than me. It wasn't exactly practical in an open combat environment—not yet at least. Instead, I'd been forced to grow a bit innovative in my eagerness to stay by my sister's side. A boy near my age in a village we passed had taken a liking to me. And, as is common among small, besotted boys…they have a nasty tendency to torment the girls they like. I got a good face full of pig shit before I managed to wrestle the damned slingshot from the fucker's grubby little hands. I got in a lot of practice with wrestling and fist fighting in that village, and I never gave the slingshot back.

With the right reinforcements and some vindictive creativity, I'd improved upon the prankster's favored firearm extensively. It's not like I was slinging bullets or anything, but the instrument was no longer a child's toy—let's just leave it at that. It was easy enough to charge rocks with my spiritual power and sling them at the enemy, but then I'd also mastered the art of crafting sacred beads that were used in rosaries and other such holy accessories. It was often Onee-sama would find me whittling away at the craft incessantly ether on the road or in my free time. There were also blessed bells you could imbue with certain spells to cause excess havoc on your impure enemies. My favorite—and something I made a priority to stock up on in the trusty, embroidered projectiles pouch that always swung from my waist—was a rather nasty spell-weaved bell I'd come up with myself, one that exploded with compressed spiritual energy and left a rather sizable hole behind. If, by chance, it didn't go all the way through the target, the lingering purity spread until the poor bastard was nothing but a pile of shimmery, purified ash.

It was crude, but very efficient if I didn't manage to run out of sacred artifacts to hurl. And even then, I always had a plethora of pointy objects hidden away on my person to cause pain with. 'Armed to the teeth,' wasn't an expression many in this part of the world or era were familiar with, but I was determined to make it stick.

At times Kikyo and Tsubaki fought back to back. One of Kikyo's sacred arrows fired straight down the shrieking gullet of a flying serpentine youkai and right out the other end of it, purifying most of the long, twisty body, and leaving the gory bits and pieces of its remains to shower down around us like a gory hail storm. Tsubaki was similarly formidable. Her naginata whirled and cut through muscle, scale, and tendon like butter. I stayed mostly to the sidelines, ducking behind different rocks and cover, never staying in one place for too long, studying the battle with a tactical eye, and taking calculated shots as openings were revealed to me. A demented grin broke out across my face as I watched a green, flying eyeball youkai explode in a spectacular show of bursting, acid-green slime; it reminded me of a rather more than a little repulsive variety of firework…

When it was over, I went around the battlefield as Tsubaki exchanged some snide remarks with my sister, routing around and searching for any beads or bells that could be reused or repurposed. It was then I felt a telltale prickling at the back of my neck, creeping as if a hundred spiders were skittering across my skin. And, indeed, as I sensed movement out of the corner of my eye, I turned to spot a rather larger than normal spider crawling out from one of the still twitching corpses that surrounded me. Abnormally small for youkai standards…but it was a youkai, made evident by its three glowing red eyes and similarly colored body. What's more, recognition struck me in the gut like a flying steel fist as it hissed at me.

My eyes widened, and I felt myself moving forward reflexively, leaping over severed limbs and reeking carcasses faster than I thought myself capable of. But it had more legs than I did, and was significantly quicker, not to mention quick on the uptake as well. The vicious expression on my face clearly reflected the murderous intentions running through my mind, and I had a feeling that if someone were to have looked in my eyes at that moment, they would have seen horrendous acts reflected within them. The cunning creature surely had self-preservation first and foremost on its twisted little priorities list, because it sure turned tail and ran swiftly enough. I wouldn't be having any of that though.

"You're not going anywhere, you slimy, evil, motherfu—HAH! Got you!" I was so sure of it when I unslung the weapon from my shoulder and slammed down the purity charged haft of my bow with an uncommon vengeance. But it dodged nimbly on its spindly digits, and the blunt-force weapon splattered the remains of an oni's thigh where it had been perched just moments previously, flecking blood and viscous fluid onto my cheeks. It felt like hot rain. Again I struck, and again, and again, with a single-minded purpose to my movements, a manic wildness to my features I couldn't quite remember having in this life. I always tried to be like Kikyo—steady, constant, controlled. For the most part, I was successful. Years of discipline helped. But to be completely honest, deep down…that wasn't really me. I was constantly one step away from the edge and without her to keep me grounded, I knew I'd walk straight off to plunge into the abyss that was this unknown world I'd ended up in. Because in the end, the feel of hot rain on my face is what felt the most real.

Given the chance, I would use any method, no matter how base or dastardly it might be, to take out that fucking spider before it became Naraku and got anywhere near my precious sister.

"You can't take Onee-sama! Go to hell, you evil bastard! Ha!" Another strike, landing in the questionably colorful entrails of a boar demon. More gore. More blood. More rain. No spider. "Hah!" Another thrust. Just missed it. "Hyah!" Breaths coming faster. Body slowing down. Need to kill it. Fast. Squish it. Grind it into the dirt. Destroy. "I'll kill you!"

"Kaede!"

The sharp sound of Kikyo's warning cutting through the air made me freeze just as I was about to slam my bow down on the hateful center eye of the arachnid, and in the time it took me to flinch and turn my face to meet my sister's incredulously large eyes…two fangs had already buried themselves in my shoulder. Pain. Hot, and searing, it started slow, but spread like a wildfire through my veins.

"Hahaha…" The creature's voice was contorted with several layers of malice as it dug its fangs ever deeper into the soft flesh where my neck met my shoulder bone. "Foolish girl. You will die for your insolence. I will have my revenge. Starting with you…and that woman."

An unfamiliar strangled sound left my throat, and as the barbed incisors finally ripped themselves from my skin, my knees buckled, giving out beneath me as a strange numbness began to pulse through my body at an alarming rate. I heard the fwish fwish of arrows ripping through the air as the creature that would become Naraku made a narrow escape, dark, hateful laughter following it as it went. A vision of the grey, murky sky above was all I could see, as it appeared as if my body had lost all will to move. In the next moments I was staring up at none other than the dark figure of Tsubaki as she looked down on me, a strange expression in her eerie eyes. It seemed more akin to fascination than to any sort of real concern for my wellbeing.

"Interesting…" she said, crouching down to hold my limp forearm experimentally in her hand and watching as she released it to drop lifelessly back to the ground at my side. She moved closer to get a look at my face next and asked, "Does it hurt, Kaede-chan?" Another unrecognizable sound of distress strained its way passed my locked jaw as my face contorted and another spasm of pain wracked through my trembling body. It seemed to be enough of an answer in itself. My insides felt like they were melting. The beautiful woman tapped her chin and tsked quietly as she crouched over me and hummed to herself with a thoughtful look, "And you held such promise too. A shame it had to end this way. I wonder if that beastly woman will let me examine your body after you are dead. The properties of these demon toxins could prove quite useful if I'm able to extract them…"

She broke off at the sound of rapidly approaching footsteps. "It got away," came the uncharacteristically distressed voice and a blast of relief hit me as Kikyo's face soon entered my line of sight. Her expression held more emotion that I had ever seen upon it, contorted into one of anguish and despair. "Kaede! Kaede, listen to me, you must concentrate your reiki—" she placed her hand upon my rapidly rising and falling chest. "here. Focus on the beat of your own heart. Do not stop. Do you understand my words?"

"O-onee-sama…" I choked out, tears swelling in my eyes as the pain raged, threatening to make my mind go numb with it. Still, I managed to say, "I'm s-s-sorry—"

"Do not speak," she admonished sharply, shouldering her bow and scooping her arms under my too small form, ignoring the languid glare Tsubaki fixed upon her. "Do not think. The poison will spread faster when I move you. You must do as I say. Focus. Breathe. Just like in meditation. Do you remember?"

Of course I remembered. All the times I sat at her side, seething at having to go through more breathing exercises and prayer when there were so many other things I could be learning that were actually helpful—that would be of use. But no matter how I pleaded and begged, every morning at dawn, without fail, Kikyo would force me through the steps of meditation until it became commonplace. It was just another part of routine. Second nature. Eventually I learned to stop complaining about it, and just relished the quiet peace I felt beside my sister, matching my breaths to hers. It was so tranquil and serene that I almost thought I could hear our hearts beating in tandem as well.

And now, I obeyed her commands just as I had always done, gathering the alarmingly sporadic fluctuations of my reiki and forcefully calming them, along with my breathing—in, out, in, out—then gathering and redirecting the flow towards my heart. It didn't stop the pain, but allowed me to focus completely on a task, separating myself from the burning. My turbulent fears and emotions eventually calmed as well until there was nothing but the familiar thrumming warmth in my chest as my sister carried me away from the field of dead monsters.

She and Tsubaki exchanged words at some point, I noticed outwardly, but I wasn't paying attention to them. My focus was entirely on what was happening within my body. It was a war. A terrible, burning, bloody war, that threatened to end my existence entirely. The poison had a will of its own and battled relentlessly against the barrier of purity that guarded my heart. The outside world fell away until it was just it and me. The toxic presence inside me raged with hatred, greed, lust, and malice. It wanted to consume me whole, but Kikyo's stern instructions did me well. As long as it couldn't get to my heart, I found myself able to hold onto some spark of strength, retreating behind the flickering barrier it created like a terrified child in a corner.

Time and perseverance lent me confidence, however. There was a bit of an epiphany when I realized there were instructions Kikyo hadn't given me. I was hesitant to try at first, but it became plainly evident that the poison hated the purity, and so, gradually, tentatively, I began to expand it experimentally, inch-by-inch. I finally started to gain footholds in the war inside me. I pushed and pushed against the ruthless force until I quickly learned to be just as ruthless, forcing it back brazenly until I had it surrounded at its source. At this point, I could have closed in on it like an ocean, extinguishing its presence from my body entirely. But instead…something inside told me to wait. Surprisingly…I listened.

It was like that for the longest time. At a standstill, it could have been hours, or days, even weeks. Purity pulsed through my body like blood, and the remaining ember of poison bit back ineffectually. It burned still, and stubbornly rooted itself, but I eventually grew to…tolerate it, for lack of a better explanation. I had no idea how much time had passed where I had effectively been pressing my teeth to its neck in a battle for dominance before I felt it waver and give in, its tendrils curling in on itself like the last defensive fetal position of a spider before it dies.

And it was then that I finally opened my eyes.

Kikyo said the art of reiki healing was a gift. Not many priestesses had the knack for it. You either understood it, or you didn't. Kikyo knew the theory, of course, but her skills were more suited to explosive displays of power, destroying demonic energies utterly, rather than repelling them and reworking them to her benefit. Never mind demon pathogens and poison, but it appeared that I could also dispel common colds and other diseases, where in this day and age 'common' was a gross understatement to something that could very well be fatal. Knowledge of special healing herbs and poultices augmented this ability greatly, and Kikyo said that if I excelled at it, in time, I might be able to repair even the most grievous of wounds.

However, it seemed I still had a long way to go. Kikyo said a master at the craft could heal injuries and sickness with a single touch… I could barely close up a scrape if I concentrated, and it had taken me two weeks to wake, weak, and feeble after my little close encounter with the spider that could one day become Naraku.

"You are still learning," Kikyo said graciously, running gentle fingers through my unruly bangs to push them out of my face as I lay recovering in my sickbed. "But you will be strong. Many will one day have need of you. I can feel it in my bones." Her eyes shined then. "I am proud of you, little sister."

I felt shock on my face. Kikyo did not give praise easily. What's more, I felt undeserving of it. Turning my face away, I admitted, "There was no pride in my actions. If I had not rushed off by myself, I would not be in this situation." The disappointment I felt in myself for letting the wretched spider escape was crippling. I could have ended it all in one fell blow. Now…I had no idea what would happen in the future.

A ghost of a smile played at the corner of her lips, strikingly red against her clear, alabaster skin. "Yes…your recklessness is something we will need to work on. You were lucky this time." She moved the dark straight hair from my shoulder to expose the grotesquely marked skin hidden beneath it and pointed out, "You will have this scar for the rest of your days upon this earth. However…" Her eyes glinted. "Never again will you fall victim to this particular demon's poison. You endured bravely, and for that, you are rewarded with the strength you will need to continue towards your destiny. You will become a great healer, and bring prosperity to those around you."

It was the most esteem I had ever received at once from my distant elder sister, and my heart wanted to glow in the praise. Still, something niggled at the very edges of my thoughts until the realization finally emerged. Without thinking, I declared, "…But I don't want to heal people. I want to be like you, Onee-sama."

Kikyo went very still, the shine in her eyes clouded over by something I couldn't quite identify. Finally, she told me quietly, "Some Taijiya arrived while you were recuperating… I have been entrusted with a terribly heavy burden." Her hands emerged from her sleeves to display a darkly glittering light fuchsia orb in her palms, around the size of a silver dollar coin. Recognition hit me like a crashing freight train.

"The Shikon no Tama…" I breathed out, scarcely daring to take another breath. The world was coming at me too fast.

Kikyo stared back at me very solemnly. "If you know what this is…then you know what it means for us." In her eyes, I could see her hardening herself. "We walk very different paths now, Kaede. It would greatly concern me if you were to become my shadow. Do not live in it, because walking in my footsteps will only bring you towards darkness…"

"But…" I grappled inwardly, searching frantically for a solution. Finally, I exclaimed, "The wish! You can make the wish, Onee-sama—tell it to disappear!"

She considered me thoughtfully for the longest of moments before nodding slowly, and, to my astonishment, holding it out to me. "Very well. You make the wish, little sister."

I froze, staring at the brightly luminescent, yet faintly sinister glow, and hesitated. I could end it all, right here and now. My hand reached out slowly to take it, but stopped, curling my fingers into a fist at the last moment, and looking away, shaking my head regretfully. "I cannot do as you ask, Onee-sama."

She tilted her head, though her face showed no emotion of surprise or reproach. She simply asked, "…Why?"

It was a long time before I could answer. Finally, I admitted, "My intentions are not wholly…pure. My wish would only succeed in corrupting the jewel even further with my selfish reasons behind it."

Her expression did not change. Its stiff, unchanging countenance brought me a terrible unease as she asked quietly, "…And what impure reasoning might you have?"

I didn't want to say it. I couldn't say it. But as she continued to look at me with that face, the words came to my lips unbidden, along with tears, and a torrent of emotion that shocked me. "I want to keep my sister."

It's true that I couldn't care less about all the awful things the jewel would create if I could only keep her, the only light in the dark confusing place this world was to me. A thousand, no—thousands could die, and I would keep smiling as long as I did not lose sight of that light as the chaos raged on around us. I hated myself for it. It only made sense that she would hate me too. And yet…her arms were around me in a tight embrace and she said to me in her quiet voice that to others always seemed cold and lifeless, while to me it was always warm, "Then you know why I cannot make the wish either… Do you understand now, little sister?"

Realization thrummed in my heart as her point was driven home. I could not make the wish…and she could not make the wish…for one integral reason.

We were both selfish.

That night, my sister held me, and I saw her cry for the first time, her tears matching mine. Because from that time onward…we knew things would never be the same.

So, I really shouldn't be writing this, but it's my first Inuyasha fic, and I really don't think I should put it in with my possible story ideas, because that collection is categorized under Naruto, and it would probably cause confusion. In any case, I update sporadically according to which story on my profile gets more reviews.

Encouragement and critique of any kind really helps, and I get lots of new ideas when people talk to me!

So please leave a review on your way out!