I Am No Longer Defined By All the Wreckage Behind
"Carmilla?" Laura asked timidly, her voice was hushed as the two girls lay in Laura's bed in their shared dorm room together. Mid-afternoon light filtered through the window and cast a warm, golden glow over the two girls' entwined bodies. Carmilla's pale fingers breezed through her girlfriend's light brown hair making the smaller girl shiver at the contact. The vampire hummed lowly in the back of her throat to signal that she had heard her. "You know how you always change your name whenever you come back to Silas?" The vampire craned her neck slightly so as to look at the 19 year old who was snuggled comfortably into her side, one arm laid leisurely across her stomach tracing small patterns onto the skin.
"Cupcake where are you going with this?"
"Which is your favourite? Name I mean." Carmilla was taken aback by the question, no one had ever asked her it before "Because I know you were born Mircalla and I didn't know if maybe you wanted me to call you that or if there was another one you preferred cause like people always have a favourite of something you know? Like favourite foods or a favourite colour and I thought maybe you have a favourite name and I'd want to know what it was so I could call you it and-" Carmilla silenced her babbling with a kiss. She would never admit it but she loved it when Laura babbled, it was cute how she just kept going but sometimes even Carmilla, who had all the time in the world to listen, needed her to stop.
"Carmilla is just fine, Cutie." She smiled down at the brunette who was looking up at her with those beautiful eyes and Carmilla couldn't help herself but to lean down and steal another kiss.
"Are you sure?" Laura asked
"Positive." She replied with a smirk "Besides, Carmilla's my favourite name anyway."
"Really, why?" the vampire should have known Laura would ask that, it was in her inquisitive nature and Carmilla should have known better by now.
"Well I was born Mircalla and that was over 300 years ago, I've seen too much and experienced so many things that I'm just not her anymore." The raven haired girl shrugged "She's just too far away from who I am. I have to say Cirmalla was my least favourite; I was a newly turned vampire with the world at my feet…she's someone I'd much rather forget." Laura laced her fingers with Carmilla's as a gesture of comfort, encouraging her to continue, the vampire smiled "Then there was Arcillma. She…she was when I met Ell, definitely one I wish I never had to think about again. I think my second favourite is definitely Millarca- it was the 1970s and punk rock was born, I will admit to having a terrible haircut back then but it did bring forth my excellent fashion sense." She smirked and Laura slapped her arm playfully. They remained laid in silence for around twenty minutes, an occasional caress or kiss caused one of them to make a noise of content but other than that no words were spoken until Laura asked:
"So why is Carmilla your favourite then?"
"Isn't it obvious?" by the confused look on Laura's face Carmilla guessed not. "When I was Carmilla was when I met you." At this confession Laura's cheeks turned a fetching shade of crimson as a blush crept across her features, Carmilla smirked again but suddenly turned serious. "No but Laura…meeting you was the best thing to ever happen to me; you make me want to be human again, to feel my heart beat faster when you're close, to shiver when you touch me, to be the moral mortal I was when I was alive. You make me better and I never want to lose that…lose you."
"You won't lose me, Carm, that's a promise I can keep." Laura pressed a gentle kiss to her girlfriend's lips before returning to her position, snuggled into Carmilla's side a short while later Laura murmured. "Softie."
"Shut up."