Disclaimer: Own nothing, it's all the BBC's
Spoilers: Children in Need Special and The Christmas Invasion as well as brief glimpses of Nine's era
Pairing: There's underlying Ten/Rose
Notes: So this is my first ever DW fic I've ever posted. I'm hoping I've done them proud. Comments and reviews are supremely welcome! Thank you
X
Back to You
It was a while, after all the rampaging Santas and bizarrely attacking Christmas trees had been cleared from his mind, that the Doctor realised that Rose had been quite awkwardly avoiding him. Yes, she'd helped to properly save the world (and done a pretty good job too if Jackie's never ending proud ramblings and Mickey's irritating smirk were to be believed) and she'd done it while he was laid up in the TARDIS with regeneration crisis for most of the Sycorax invasion. But after all the excitement and terror, things had changed. There'd been a quietness to her, a sort of uncertainty. Oh she accepted him and knew he was the Doctor, he'd felt that but she was still unsure. Usually he couldn't shut her up but now he was filling up the silences and she was agreeing with him a lot, nodding seemed to be her favourite expression. It felt weird. He hadn't been this talkative since his sixth incarnation.
He drummed his fingers on the TARDIS console. He'd finished all repairs and was now waiting for Rose to get back from her Mum's flat. She'd insisted on packing more clothes before leaving again and he was getting itchy feet. True, he could now tolerate time with Rose's odd little family but now he wanted out and wanted to touch the stars again. But, he wondered with a painful mental twinge, did Rose really want to join him?
X
"I can't believe you're really going back with him."
Rose closed her eyes at the betrayal in Mickey's voice. She should be used to it by now, his disapproval of the Doctor, but even now it hurt a bit that Mickey didn't trust her judgement. After everything that had just happened as well. Sometimes Mickey really was impossible. She kept on packing as Mickey walked properly into her room and stood accusingly opposite her. She could feel his hard stare and chose not to meet it.
"I told you, there's so much to see. I can't just stay here again," she said at last, her tone deliberately light. "He needs me."
"He needed you," stressed Mickey, surprisingly carefully. "But he's changed, Rose and I don't mean just physically. Even I've noticed."
"That's because he doesn't call you Mickey the Idiot in this regeneration."
"I still don't get that. Thirteen bodies? God, no wonder he has all them crazy stories. He's been around long enough."
An almost comfortable silence grew then and Rose smiled slightly as she tucked another new top into her suitcase. Whilst the Doctor had complained about waiting even longer to leave, she had insisted on packing more stuff. Well, she had gotten some nice gifts for Christmas and there were some bits she'd forgotten last time. She was doing a pretty good job at remembering too. Then Mickey took her hand and she stiffened.
"He's not the person you knew. He's someone completely different now," there was almost pleading in Mickey's voice. "Why do you want to go somewhere with someone you don't even know?"
This was the root of it all. Her abandoning him for someone he thought she barely knew, just like she had all that time ago. As Mickey's words sunk in, Rose remembered talking to a mechanic far into future and realising she didn't know the strange handsome human-looking Time Lord she'd chosen to travel with. She remembered him asking what he looked like, a familiar glint in unfamiliar eyes. Then she remembered grabbing his hand and chips in London and so much more. She finally met Mickey's gaze.
"Because that's how it all started," she answered. "That's how I got involved in all this, that's how I ended up in the past, the future and everywhere else! I wouldn't change that for the world. I can't stay here without him, I just can't."
There was a stony silence this time and Rose heard in her head what Mickey had said to her not long ago.
"You love him, don't you?"
It hung between them now, unspoken. It was the root of Mickey's anger and betrayl, that she was leaving him for another bloke. The atmopshere felt as thick as treacle.
"Alright, so he doesn't look the same and yeah, it's weird to see someone else driving the TARDIS," Rose answered at last. "But he's still the Doctor. I know he is."
"But how do you know he'll keep you safe? The original Doctor, the one we all knew, yeah he was a nut job but he kept you safe," Mickey sounded sad now. "Every time he took you away from me, I was worried you wouldn't come back alright but he always made sure of it. He…. cared about you, how do you know this one will too?"
Rose took her hand back and zipped up her case. There'd been strangled pain in Mickey's voice and though it hurt her to leave him, he'd just shown her that he still didn't understand. She still had to deal with her mum too. Neither of understood why she'd left them and her normal average life for a 900-year-old alien where danger and possible death awaited her. Perhaps they never would but they'd have to deal with it. There was no way she was going back to what she had before, even if the Doctor had changed, even if he wasn't the way she remembered. Rose shoved that thought away and looked at Mickey resolutely.
"Because I trust him. He's the Doctor, no matter what face he's wearing or whatever, he's still the Doctor. I just know he is. You saw how he saved us." she sighed at the disbelief on Mickey's face.
"You wouldn't understand."
"Yeah, I bet I don't."
Rose rolled her eyes at the jealousy in Mickey's voice. Some things really didn't change. He'd seen the Doctor save the world, again and seen how real the Doctor was. She'd felt it, had that feeling that this was the man she'd….well….loved. She couldn't leave him again. Besides Mickey had Tricia now, he didn't need her.
"You saw him out there, Mickey. You saw how he fought to save us. He was there when we needed him and he helped keep us safe, even though he was sick. You try telling me he's not the same Doctor."
For once Mickey was silent but his disapproval shone in his dark eyes, eyes that Rose had once found so dreamy. Now they just appeared hurt and accusing. She was always going to have this conversation with Mickey she realised, no matter what the Doctor looked like. Feeling suddenly frustrated and angry, she picked up her suitcase and made for the door to deal with her mum.
"I'll see you around, yeah?" she called over her shoulder, not bothering to look back.
She never knew that that hurt Mickey most of all.
X
When she finally got to the TARDIS and carried her suitcase triumphantly through the doors, Rose found the Doctor leaning over the console with a concentrated look on his face. It was so endearingly familiar that, for a second, she had to blink away the image of black leather and closely cropped hair. Faded pain stabbed at her as she suddenly yearned for the man with the larger ears and mile-wide grin but she pushed it away. Even with pinstripes and thick ruffled hair, it was still the Doctor. Something Mickey couldn't really accept or understand.
"Ready to go then?"
She grinned, not even surprised that he hadn't bothered to turn around before asking. She dropped her case and wandered over to his side.
"Think so, just brought some stuff back from Christmas. You know, presents from Mum and Mickey and all that," she answered casually. "How's the TARDIS doing after your spectacular landing?"
"All systems are ready to go."
He turned to look at her now and once again, she was knocked off balance by how familiar his manic smile was to his predecessor. Another reminder that he was the Doctor. Neither of them spoke as they stared at each other, Rose drinking in what she saw in his face. Then she realised what she was doing and snapped out of it.
"Ok, so where are we going?" she asked, hands in her jeans pockets.
"I think it's lady's choice. Since I crashed the TARDIS at Christmas, was ill for most of an alien invasion and let you do all the work, I think you deserve some kind of reward."
"You let me? The way I remember it, you could barely walk let alone stop an alien invasion!"
The Doctor smiled and his eyes seemed to search her face. Then she remembered her absences, the way she'd stayed away from him following the invasion. She had been avoiding him, trying to properly wrap her mind around the concept of her best friend still lurking behind a totally different face. The invasion had given her a lot to think about but now, she felt ready. She knew where her place was – it was with her favourite alien who was always ready to save worlds and travel among the stars.
"I know just the place to take us," the Doctor said suddenly, turning back to the console.
"Oi! I thought it was my choice."
"Well you didn't choose, did you? So now I am."
"What happened to lady's choice?"
"It had a time limit."
Rose laughed as he input a command, slamming his hands against the various buttons and dials that festooned the metal in front of them. This was definitely familiar. The TARDIS began its wheezing and groaning as the Doctor turned back to her.
"You'll like it here, Rose Tyler," he promised.
"The last time you said that, we ended up…."
"Running away from some Gorgans, I know, I remember. It won't happen this time, I promise."
They shared a smile at a private memory. Then the TARDIS landed with barely a bump and the central column slowed to a stop.
"Here we are," the Doctor swept his arms out in a grand gesture.
"And where exactly is here?"
"Something spectacular."
"So you're not going to tell me then?"
"Nope, come on."
The Doctor extended his hand to her and Rose felt that familiar fizzle of excitement in her stomach at going to set foot on an alien planet. His hand was smaller and less callused but it was still the Doctor's with its familiar warmth. Even if he had grown it only a few days ago which was still very weird. An alien planet and hand in hand with the Doctor. It never failed to give her a buzz. Plus the Doctor looked so excited. She prepared herself as she pulled open the doors with her free hand.
It was a summery beach. They'd landed on a pier, leading right out into the sea. A sniff of the air brought the familiar aroma of salt, food frying and sticky sweet candyfloss. This was definitely Earth. Not anywhere new, just an ordinary pier at an ordinary beach on ordinary Earth. This was what she'd decided to travel for?
"Ok so we're on Earth," Rose summarised disappointment filling her stomach. "On a beach. Any reason why?"
"I thought you'd want to be somewhere warm after all that cold," replied the Doctor, his enthusiasm dimming a bit at her expression.
"Well it's certainly warm," laughed Rose, wishing she'd changed out of her jeans. "It's just……well not very alien, is it?"
"Thought you would have had enough of aliens for the moment."
"Not of the friendly welcoming type."
The Doctor frowned and Rose tried for a smile but she knew he could tell she was trying for him. It was just very underwhelming after seeing the Doctor change, the TARDIS crashing and foiling the Sycorax invasion. After so many alien things in a row, this was completely at the other end of the scale.
"Maybe a break from the whole alien planet thing'll be good," she tried again. "Give me perspective or something."
"Or something," the Doctor repeated, his hand limp in her's.
Suddenly Rose wanted to scream and all her previous doubts came rushing back to her. This wasn't the Doctor she knew, the one who would have dragged her kicking and protesting out of the TARDIS no matter where it had landed and would be determined to show her the sights. He'd teach her so much, even if it was just doing the tourist thing or stopping some megalomaniac. Everything was an adventure with him.
This Doctor though, he seemed to give up. He'd become very small all of a sudden, seeming to shrink into his suit. He couldn't be the same man she'd seen yell down Daleks. But apparently he was and now he was looking at her keenly as though guessing what was going through her head. Quickly Rose arranged her face into something resembling both apology and interest.
He gripped her hand tightly all of a sudden and a determination seemed to light his eyes that was heart-meltingly familiar. Rose felt her heartbeat pick up, now seeing so much more of the Doctor she'd known in this stranger's face. There was the same fierce intelligence and stubbornness.
I said one word to you, just one word.
Run
A huge grin swept over the Doctor's face as he read her expression correctly and he suddenly swept her into an enormous hug. A little surprised at first, Rose melted into his embrace and smiled at the soothing double beat of his hearts. Suddenly he was the Doctor again, strong and courageous and totally daft. The seperation between the two Doctors was beginning to blur in her mind, she realised, he was becoming one Timelord to her. Impulsively Rose decided to be honest as she drew back from his arms.
"Sorry. Sometimes I need a reminder that you're him, you," she shook her head in confusion as the Doctor smiled gently, patiently, at her. "Coz you look so different and don't behave like him."
"I'm still here, Rose. I promise. I've just, you know, had a face and personality lift."
Rose's lips twitched. Only he make something so implausible sound normal.
"Like a real extreme make-over or something?" she suggested.
"Oh they can't do this on television! They can try, but it would be very messy."
He squeezed her hand and began walking up the pier towards the row of stores clustered down one side. His spirits had been lifted and Rose found her own mood lightening. She really was with the Doctor.
"Come on, I happen to know a great place along here…."
X
A few hours and several trips up and down the pier later, Rose had decided that perhaps staying on Earth had been a good idea. She and the Doctor had been into every store and had a go at everything. It had almost felt like a proper date, like something you'd do with a normal human friend. But the Doctor attacked everything with his usual enthusiasm, he'd tried not to rush her through everything but Rose could sense he was itching to continuously move her on to brighter and funnier things.
She drank in the rapidly cooling sea air, leaning against the peeling railings that lined the pier. The Doctor had disappeared with the mysterious words that he knew the perfect way to finish off the afternoon. So Rose had stayed on the pier to look out at the sea and turn the past few days events over in her mind.
Her best friend had changed his face but insisted he was still the same person underneath, despite glaring evidence otherwise. That was the Doctor for you. Rose grinned, realising she was actually thinking of him as the Doctor now. He was more at ease with a lighter personality than she was used to in her friend but he was still fun and enthusiastic and serious when he needed to be. He was also still on the lookout for adventure and still held her hand as they ran together. And really, she realised, that was all she needed to know.
"Here we go," the Doctor announced, appearing behind her and handing her an ice cream cone loaded with pink ice cream. "The best ice-cream you're likely to find on Earth for about, oooh, five centuries?"
"Don't tell me one of your regenerations was an ice-cream taster!" Rose joked, beginning to work on her cone.
"It's an unofficial constant with each of my regenerations," the Doctor corrected. "That and jellybabies, I've always had a thing for jellybabies."
Rose shook her head slightly, paying more attention to her ice cream. It really was good and a delicious strawberry flavour. How had the Doctor known that was her favourite? More than that, it was a little startling how comfortable he was talking about his past.
"You have a question," the Doctor stated, already halfway through his ice cream.
So it seemed like nothing was hidden from him, as usual, and he was still annoyingly blunt.
"You're more open than you were before," offered Rose carefully. "Like before, you were so closed up about where you came from, the Time War, everything. And now, you're so open about everything, telling me about your past regenerations. It's a bit weird, that's all."
The Doctor nodded thoughtfully and leant over the railing to gaze down at the rippling waves, crunching on the now empty cone. It was a comfortable silence Rose realised, not awkward or embarrassed. Just a silence and she liked it.
"Do you mind?" the Doctor asked at last, turning to look at her with an almost worried look on his face. "That I'm different to how I was when you knew me before?"
"Not now I don't," replied Rose with reassuring smile. "It was weird and horrible to start off with. I mean, you did change your face and then crash the TARDIS and then there was Mum and Mickey and the Sycorax…."
"I know which one I'd rather face first," the Doctor cut in.
"Cheeky," reprimanded Rose with a light rap on his shoulder with her fist. "Anyway, now, yeah I'm ok with the new you. Coz you're still kinda like him and kinda you. If you know what I mean."
The Doctor had a look on his face that was a mixture of awe and wonder. Rose didn't know what to make of it. So instead she concentrated on finishing her cone and throwing the crumbs to the nearby watchful seagulls. When she looked back at the Doctor, he was still gazing at her in that strange way. It made her uncomfortable and sent a not unpleasant shiver down her spine.
"What?" she asked a little confrontationally.
"You are an amazing human being, Rose Tyler," the Doctor replied. "And I'm so glad you decided to stay."
I'm so glad I met youRose looked at him surprised, suddenly working something out.
"That's why you stayed on Earth for this trip, isn't it? In case I decided I wanted to stay here after the invasion," she worked out. "You thought I might leave you."
The Doctor looked vaguely uncomfortable but he didn't deny it.
"I'd have understood if you wanted to," and his expression darkened with sorrow for a second. "Some of my companions before have left because of a lot less."
"What have I got to go back to?" Rose challenged. "No job, living with my mum, chips? Or I could travel around all of time and space with you. No contest really."
"Even if I'm not the Doctor you knew?"
Rose grasped his hand and squeezed his fingers sincerely. His smile increased.
"Even that. You're still the Doctor. It just took me time to see it."
The Doctor nodded and began to straighten out from the bent out of shape position he'd taken over the railing. It really was getting cold now and Rose didn't bother to suppress her shivering.
"Time to go back to the TARDIS I think," decided the Doctor, using his free hand to tug his fawn coat around him tightly. "It's too cold for this Timelord."
"And for this stupid ape," Rose added, nudging him. "It was your idea to buy ice cream."
"It's never too cold for ice cream!"
"Sure."
Rose rolled her eyes and moved closer to him as they walked, for the warmth she told herself. But she couldn't suppress a grin as she felt him squeeze her hand and match her smile. The Doctor was the Doctor and she was able to travel with him. They had each other again and Rose Tyler was happy with that.
