An important message by Jack Frost to all his faithful believers

by Martakus

Jack Frost explains the recent lack of snow. He kindly requests this message to be read by all of his believers. He furthermore declares that he will not answer any questions on this topic by any individual that has not read this announcement. [Rated T for swearing.]

Apparently you´re all wondering why there hasn´t been that much snow lately. And since there is apparently no other way of calming you down, let me explain:

I am a teenager. And as such, I have the RIGHT to have mood swings.

SO FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE YOU GODDAMN ANNOYING BEASTS.

Do you have ANY IDEA how many brats like you walk up to me EVERY DAY and complain that I haven´t brought them snow? I´m working 24/7 and I´m not even getting PAID for it. The earth is a FUCKING HUGE PLACE. So GIVE ME A BREAK. Be happy I´m not like one of those goth teens that sit around and do nothing but indulge in their own self-pity. If I was, even Canada would be snow-less.

I am under SEVERE MENTAL STRESS right now. Do you think it´s easy to create ice? No! Everytime one of you rascals demands me to make ice, I actually need to visually imagine something! My creativity is LIMITED, goddammit. You all groan about your writer´s block like it´s something that only you encounter. I have a fucking SNOW-MAKING BLOCK. That´s like a hundred thousand million times worse!

So now you´re POUTING? You´re seriously POUTING? After all I have done for you? You know what? Fuck this. I´m done. Go and get somebody else to make you snow. I´m sure Elsa´s gonna be great help with that. After all, she´s the DEFINITION of emotional stability, right?

Man in Moon, somebody save me from these spoilt brats...