Not by my hands

by labelma

What if Al decided his life was worth living? What if he thought that maybe he could find a way to get Tris to forgive him? How would our beloved book be changed if Al decided not to jump? NOTE: this will still be a 10 fic! I have no intention of pairing Al and Tris romantically.

1. Prologue

A/N: Ah plot bunnies. They never go away do they? I don't think I have ever seen anything like this on fanfic, so I'm gonna try it out. This probably won't be updated quickly, because I have two other stories already, and I refuse to drop them. This will be a little short, but it's only the prologue.

The compound is completely quiet, which is rare for Dauntless. The only sound I can hear is the soft padding on my bare feet against cold stone, as I slowly make my way towards the chasm.

As I begin to approach the roaring underground river, a shiver jolts down my spine. I ignore it and I walk right up to the metal railing. The same metal railing that I helped Peter almost throw Tris off of.

I am a sick human being. I helped the man who was once my worst enemy, harm the girl I love all because I was wrapped up in my rage, jealousy, and depression. I asked her to forgive me, and she said no. She might never forgive me. Will and Christina stood right by her, and they probably won't forgive me. Peter is pissed that I ran away, so obviously Drew and Molly blindly followed him.

I have nothing, and no one left to live for. Sometimes, back in Candor, I could talk to the teachers if all else fails, but anyone with eyes can see that Four is moving in on my girl, well Tris. She isn't really my girl.

This thought sends me climbing over the railing. I am about to let go. I count back from 10, and I think about my family, and Tris, and all that I love. When I get to zero, I let go.

"I am just beginning to tip backwards, when I quickly grab the railing. What am I thinking? I can't die now, at least, not by my own hands. I'm so young. I have a whole life ahead of me. By not jumping, I can prove that I am not a coward, and that I don't run away from my problems. I can fix what is wrong in my life. I can make Tris forgive me. I can work at conquering my fears, so that maybe, just maybe I can become a Dauntless member.

I climb back over the railing. It may be my destiny to die, but it won't be me to cut the thread.

A/N: I know it was super short, but I will start on the new chapter right away, and I will post it in maybe an hour. I hope you liked it. Please, Please, Please review! Criticism is fully welcome, I am always looking to improve, but I can't if I don't know what you think, so just please, please review.