Mission Nightmares

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVIII.

Authors notes: Um…. musings. Again. Again. There's lots of musings indeed.

………

He couldn't say anything about it. He wanted to, obviously. People didn't just grab people in the middle of the night while on a mission and curl up to them like they were lovers. Someone was bound to say something. If he woke the blonde up, though, the martial artist would just start sputtering and accusing him of starting this… cuddle…so he left it, his anger stored away for another time. He'd tried to push Zell away gently, but the blonde was strong even in his sleep. He had given off whimpers and reached for the nearest person. It could have been that pilot that was on the mission with them (Nida, wasn't it?) but it was Seifer instead, Seifer in the corner to whom he latched on to. Seifer woke up but Zell was pressed against him, his head in his chest, whimpering softly in his sleep. Seifer wanted to laugh it off, to push Zell away. What event did Zell have to get nightmares from? He'd been by Squall's side, he'd managed to save the world and everyone loved him, and he was whimpering here in the middle of the night? Maybe he should try walking in Seifer's shoes- that would teach him nightmares. Places where he wasn't sure if he was in control because others said he wasn't; places that hurt to remember and he'd rather pretend they never happened.

He didn't want Nida to wake up, or the girls on the other side of the tiny tent, because he had a good feeling the messenger girl- Selphie- would start cooing at them and congratulating them on a relationship they never had. So he sat in silence, Zell holding him, and he wondered if Zell needed someone to protect him. The thought was ironic. Little crybaby, finally decided to stand up for himself only to have that illusion broken down. Seifer was only doing Zell a favor by picking on him- keeping Zell in his place while letting him become stronger. The more he was exposed to Seifer, the more he would learn to deal with it. Assuming the chicken figured it out. Which never actually happened. Even when he came back, Zell would get all flustered and embarrassed at any snide remark. And when the chicken was flustered, things were broken- words, thoughts, ideals, and physical objects.

Did Zell want someone to tell him it was all right? Seifer sighed as he attempted to turn over, but Zell whined even louder. Panicking, Seifer tried to smother Zell's face in his chest to quiet him. What surprised Seifer was not that Zell stopped whining completely- but that Seifer's own heart gave a jump and the feeling of wrapping his arms around another human being. Only Hyne would make it chicken.

Damn Hyne.

His arms moved around to Zell's back so Zell could breathe and so Seifer wouldn't get blamed for his death- and he mentally told himself to wake up before them all again, so that no one would know that they had this awkward moment. Stupid chicken.

His mind few into sleep and before he knew it he was in a dream. But unlike most of his dreams, this one was bloodless. This one was guiltless.

He was playing chess. The chess pieces seemed to meld and mold and act out his thoughts- for instance, the knight ended up having an affair with the queen, the king and the bishop burned them and had their own affair- and then he woke up feeling lonely. Zell was no longer in his arms. In fact, he wasn't even in the tent. Seifer sat up looking around, but no one else was awake. Where was he? Seifer got out of the tent, making sure Zell hadn't been eaten or anything. It would be just like Dincht.

He managed to turn the corner when he realized that he just wanted to go back to that place- that place without the guilt, without the horror scraping at the inside of his mind. He wanted to go back to where Zell had kept him, where the only scary things were moving chess pieces. He stopped in his tracks, and only too late did he realize that Zell was staring at him, the rays of dawn interrupting his stretches.

"Morning people," Seifer uttered, unable to breathe. Why the fuck would it be chicken that did this to him. "So. You're awake now, chicken?" he glared at him.

"Look, Seifer, I didn't mean-"

"What?" Seifer asked him, cocking his head to the side. "You did something? Other than be stupid? Well, too bad, chicken, 'cause I sleep like a rock and didn't notice anything."

Zell blinked for a moment, head trying to sort out what Seifer had said. "You… didn't notice anything?"

"Nothing," Seifer stated, trying to keep his face calm.

"Then why are you talking to me?" Zell stated, his brain firing up and confusing him. "If you didn't notice anything, then-"

Seifer stepped up to him, to shush him before he woke everyone else up. "Nothing happened, okay?" he asked.

The martial artist nodded. Even if words confused him, the stern gaze and grip of Seifer didn't.

"Did you sleep well?" came Zell's question, and Seifer gave a slight glare at him.

Only Hyne would make it so that Zell would keep his nightmares away.