Well hello everyone! Who else is destroyed by that season finale, raise your hands! *raises hand as high as possible*
anyway, since fanfiction is my way with coping, I of course found my way to this lovely site again and was astounished with the lack of fanfics about this finale. So of course this lead me to write my own piece. I hope you like it and don't be afraid to share your thoughts about it.
disclaimer: I do not own the 100
Day 12
"Bellamy? Raven? Monty? Anyone? Please is anyone there? I can't do this alone."
She felt as if she had bathed in a fire. Everything burned and she was in constant pain. Was she screaming? Clarke faded in and out of consciousness, no idea of time and place. Everything around her ceased to exist until only the pain stayed. She had noticed the radio a few days ago, at least she thinks it was a few days ago, time seems fluid when you are dying. After a few tries she got it working but she was so tired that this message was the only one she could send out before falling back down into the darkness.
Day 72
"Hey Bellamy, remember that sketchbook I found, well I've finally found the courage to draw you. You, Raven, Monty, Murphy, Harper, Emori en Echo. It took me the whole day and I am very proud of the end result. You are all floating in space, between the stars laughing and holding hands. It's beautiful, I think you would like it. Anyways, Clarke over and out."
She put the radio down and looked at the drawing again. She really liked it, carefully she pinned it to the wall above her bed. It wouldn't be long or a whole collection would appear. In the days that followed, drawings of her mom, Octavia, Lexa and so many others would slowly fill the white walls of the room. For the first time, she didn't feel alone when she fell asleep.
Day 100
"Officially a hundred days went by. Not that it is anything special, still a few hundreds to go. But it did scare me a little. A 100 days is nothing in comparison to what I will have to endure till you return but I already feel like I am losing my mind. I'm so alone and I don't know how long before I go insane. I don't know if I can handle the silence anymore. I'm sorry, till tomorrow I guess."
Clarke lost is it after her goodbye and cried for god knows how long. She missed talking to someone, laughing at their jokes. She missed the feeling of love she got from her friends. But above all she missed the feeling of being touched. Arms wrapping themselves around her, shielding her form the world and all its cruelty. A reassuring hand on her shoulder, indicating that they stand behind her. She wanted to feel the heat of another human being, but she knew that that would have to wait for another couple of years and it was that knowledge that broke her everyday a little more.
Day 278
"Bellamy! I did it! I went outside! Of course everything looked disastrous but hey give her time, mother earth will heal. The sky looked a freaky green and yellow and everything around me looked brown and grey, but I have hope. Wow that feels strange to say. It's been so long since I felt hopeful. But anyways, I'm going to investigate tomorrow and maybe in a few weeks I can go to the main land. It's nice to have something to do again and something to look forward to. Maybe I can do it, maybe I can survive. Well, talk to you later. Clarke out."
After radioing in she went to the control room to check all the new data. With the numbers dropping she could try to estimate if they would be safe on the 5 year mark. In the beginning she would be in this room every day, calculating and estimating every possible thing. Now she reduced it by every 3 days. Normally she could have gone outside a week and a half ago, but she just never had the courage to do it. Now with this new adventure, she had a slight bounce in her step and a slight smile on her lips.
Day 365
"Happy deathday for me I guess! It's been exactly 365 days since I should have died. I know that if you are out there, you blamed yourself. For leaving me, for not being there to save me, like you always did. But don't worry, I don't blame you. At first I thought I died and I was happy, of all the ways I could have died in the past few years, dying at the end of the world while saving my friends seemed like a good way to go, not that I regret not dying, at least not on most days. But you know what those sad things have no place on a day like this, now it is time for celebration. Have a drink for me will you!"
If anyone would listen, would they notice the smile on her lips, how her words started to sound less pained? Of course Clarke was far from fine, but she was getting there. Lying on her back in what was once a field but now looked like grey dessert, she looked up at the stars, wondering where the Ark would be now.
Day 459
"I just miss you, Bellamy, and Raven, Monty, Murphy, Harper, Emori, even Echo. I miss you all so much."
On days like these she felt like dying. Clarke didn't cry that much anymore but there were still some days that it was so hard on her. All she wanted to do on a day like that was curl up and cry herself to sleep.
Day 633
"Bellamy! You will never believe what I found! A flower! I know it may seem like nothing, but it means so much to me. The earth is starting to heal, maybe in the future I could eat other things than the few nuts from the storage or the vegetables I managed to grow in the bunker. Anyways my preparations to leave the island are almost ready. I took the boat for another run and now that since yesterday the radio portable is, I can go and search for more green. Well that's it for today, bye."
Day 852
"So Bellamy, today it's been 852 days since Praimfaya. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm all alone, the bunker is silent and so are you. I tried again today, but the rumble was just too heavy. I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I just feel so lonely. I don't think I can do it anymore, all on my own. "
That night she slept next to the bunker, making herself belief that her mother was lying next to the wall. Season were still not a thing, so it was always the same temperature, except if a black rainstorm would hit, but those became fewer as time went by. It was still a long way to go.
Day 871
"The rover broke down, again. Now would be an amazing time for Raven to be here, because as I said before I am shit at this stuff. This means I will have to stay a few days, but hey it's not like I've got places to be, people to meet right. That's it for today, nothing else to report. Will you give my best to the rest? I miss everyone so hard. Talk to you later."
She put the radio down and was met with complete silence. Not that she expected anything else. It's not like she had given up hope, more like she had made peace with the fact that no one could hear her or could answer. A little crackle caught her attention. The radio came back to life, but after a few seconds of just static it was silent again.
"Bellamy? Raven? Monty? Anyone? Can you read me?"
This time the radio stayed silent.
"I don't know if this means anyone was listening, but if you were, I am safe. Well as safe as it gets at the end of the word."
She waited for a response, but nothing came.
"Okay maybe I imagined it and no one is listening. Anyways, talk to you later! Clarke out."
Okay oof that was it, at least for the first part. I am working on the next chapter, about our lovely Bellamy
Read and Review and you will be rewarded.
PS: come and hang out on tumblr with me (lifeisforthecrazyones)
lots of love Sara