Catherine thinks about Sara.
Walking in on Sara sleeping in the bedroom made my mind race. She looked so peaceful, so at ease with herself, so unlike the woman I had seen the night before. There was no sign of the fiery passionate woman I had come to care for, but what did this mean? I kept thinking that I wanted this last forever; another part of me wanted it to end right there and then. Watching a sleeping Sara, my mind started to race. What was it about her that made me wonder, wonder about my life, who I was and what was her role in it. To watch her everyday, her soul caged like a restless animal hurt me more than I would ever admit, to anyone. Thinking back to the case, how she had passed over the sorrow of that woman for the sake of the evidence had driven me crazy, when I think back to the question I asked,
'How could you be such a cold blooded bitch?'
I can still hear my own words echo in my head, sounding so cold, so harsh against the stillness of the room. Watching her pace around made me want to touch her, but instead I watched, looking for clues. Searching to hear her thoughts, except now she kept them hidden, even from me.
As Sara stirred she'd startled me, startled me into burying my thoughts and dealing with her's, with her nightmares and dreams, most of the time they where indistinguishable. What about my dreams? Sometimes I think about those old movies you see on TV, the ones that always have a perfect life and end with 'I love you'. Was that real or make believe, sometimes I'm not sure I know the difference. Do I love her? Yes, does she love me? Yes, but it feels like it's more than that. More basic, it's the feeling of knowing her, all of her.
What was it about being here, in her space that made my thoughts dance?, I knew I could leave her alone, just get up and go back to my life. I couldn't, there where too many memories and thoughts, too many to count, At least here we could be together. Two souls wandering through the forest of our lives.
Will we find each other? I try not to think about it, but I know that somewhere deep in me there is a stirring that wishes it so. 'Catherine' her voice draws me from the place my mind had wandered and I reach out to touch her face. Reaching for her hand as she stirred I felt my heart beating fast, so fast and loud it would wake her. I prayed for it to be quiet so at least for now she could sleep, softly, knowing I am here if she needs me.
Walking in on Sara sleeping in the bedroom made my mind race. She looked so peaceful, so at ease with herself, so unlike the woman I had seen the night before. There was no sign of the fiery passionate woman I had come to care for, but what did this mean? I kept thinking that I wanted this last forever; another part of me wanted it to end right there and then. Watching a sleeping Sara, my mind started to race. What was it about her that made me wonder, wonder about my life, who I was and what was her role in it. To watch her everyday, her soul caged like a restless animal hurt me more than I would ever admit, to anyone. Thinking back to the case, how she had passed over the sorrow of that woman for the sake of the evidence had driven me crazy, when I think back to the question I asked,
'How could you be such a cold blooded bitch?'
I can still hear my own words echo in my head, sounding so cold, so harsh against the stillness of the room. Watching her pace around made me want to touch her, but instead I watched, looking for clues. Searching to hear her thoughts, except now she kept them hidden, even from me.
As Sara stirred she'd startled me, startled me into burying my thoughts and dealing with her's, with her nightmares and dreams, most of the time they where indistinguishable. What about my dreams? Sometimes I think about those old movies you see on TV, the ones that always have a perfect life and end with 'I love you'. Was that real or make believe, sometimes I'm not sure I know the difference. Do I love her? Yes, does she love me? Yes, but it feels like it's more than that. More basic, it's the feeling of knowing her, all of her.
What was it about being here, in her space that made my thoughts dance?, I knew I could leave her alone, just get up and go back to my life. I couldn't, there where too many memories and thoughts, too many to count, At least here we could be together. Two souls wandering through the forest of our lives.
Will we find each other? I try not to think about it, but I know that somewhere deep in me there is a stirring that wishes it so. 'Catherine' her voice draws me from the place my mind had wandered and I reach out to touch her face. Reaching for her hand as she stirred I felt my heart beating fast, so fast and loud it would wake her. I prayed for it to be quiet so at least for now she could sleep, softly, knowing I am here if she needs me.