A/N: Hello, this story will take the plot of all three Matrix movies. Of course some things may be left out, or I may add a few things, mix events up, ect. Below is a chart showing the main characters and their relationship to the movie. Enjoy!
Characters in relation to the Matrix:
Neo – House
Morpheus – Foreman
Trinity – Cameron
Agent Smith – Cuddy
Oracle – Wilson
Tank (operator) - Chase
Matrix – Housetrix – unreal world
Zion – Housezon – real world
CHAPTER ONE: The Red Vicodin or The Blue Vicodin…
House, asleep at his keyboard, laid there…drooling. Yet you couldn't blame him because he was hard at work trying to diagnosis some patient-spoilers on the next General Hospital episode…some chick had a baby, some dude in the hospital for a gun shot wound, old men fighting, nothing new…
Click
House awoke to his computer screen blank and a green blinker flashing
Click click click
Writing began to show up on his screen
Wake up stupid!
House: What the-
Are you awake?
House typed back
Yes you Moran! What? You want some person to die because I can't research his condition on the computer!
I like General Hospital too!
Who the Hell are you!
Follow the write rabbit…
House: What?
The computer monitor returned to the General Hospital website.
House: Dude...I'm high
Suddenly he heard scratching at his office door.
House: I'm naked leave me alone!
Scratch sniff hop hop
House: Seriously! GO AWAY!
Crunch crunch snuggle snuggle
House now annoyed went to the door, opened it, and found Stacey in a bunny suit rolling around on the floor.
House: Either I'm right that I'm high or you're going though a hot flash or something!
After a pause
House: Why are you dressed as a white….holy crap I am stoned!
Stacey started hoping away
House in though: I should follow her…she may lead me to a rapping Wilson and a dancing Barbra Walters…
Stacey ended up leading House to an abandon cafeteria on the 7th floor
House: Why am I here this isn't exciting…
Suddenly Cameron appeared
Cameron: They're watching you House.
House: Who's watching me?
Cameron: I know why you're here. I know why you sit at your computer every night looking at Soap Opera spoilers…you're looking for him.
House:…Foreman…
Cameron: Yes House, at one point I was looking for him to.
House: You're the one who hack my computer 23 and a half minutes ago.
Cameron: Yes
House: Who's coming after me?
Cameron: Cuddy.
House blacked out and found himself back at his computer…again asleep on his keyboard…
Cuddy: Get up!
House: What? What are you doing Cuddy?
Cuddy and her clones sat down at the opposite side of where House was sitting, she then slammed a file on his desk.
Cuddy: You see this? This your file, you've been living two lives one life you're a doctor who gets sued a lot and the other you're a (fill in the blank). Not to mention you owe me clinic time!
House: How'd you?
Cuddy: We can wipe this slate clean if you tell me who contacted you this morning.
House: How about I give you the finger and you give me my phone call.
Cuddy: You left me with no choice House
Cuddy got up and slapped House in the face which some how embedding a tracking device in his body.
House again blacked out and ended up at his computer
House: Man I really need to stop mixing my Vicodin with these cocktails…
A magically appearing phone appeared and started ringing….of course still thinking he's high House picked it up.
House: Hello-
Foreman: Get out there they're coming for you…jump out the window NOW!
House did as he was told….except what he didn't realize was that he wasn't high and he just jumped off the 589th floor. (Yes the abandon cafeteria and House's office are really far apart from each other…PPTH got bigger…if you haven't noticed.)
House: Crap…..
House was falling to his death
House in though: I still can't figure out why they charge me twice for that pair of sock…although they were argali.
Instead of hitting the group House somehow landed in some funky chair that was located in a freaky room. There was a table in from of him with a glass of water on it. Foreman was sitting on the other side of the table with perfect posture…and yes he had the funky sunglasses and the trench coat.
House: You know something…I think I like being high
Foreman: You not high
House: uhhh…yeah I'm high.
Foreman: Shut up! You're not high…you see you live in the Housetrix (matrix) and they want to kill you but I want you to save my homeland Housezon (Zion).
House: You mean Cuddy. Cuddy wants to kill me…why?
Foreman: She's an agent…she wants to destroy Housezon
House: No…why does she want to kill me?
Foreman: Because you're the chosen one House.
House: Dude I've never hallucinated like this before
Foreman: Will you listen to me you're NOT HIGH! Cameron come here.
Cameron came over with some pogo stick looking machine
Foreman placed it on House's forehead and pushed the button and the tracking device came out into the machine.
House: Damn that hurt!
Foreman: If that hurt then how can you be high?
House:………………………
Foreman: You have a choice House…you see…I have two Vicodin pills. A red one, and a blue one. If you take the blue one you wake up back at you keyboard yet again and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red one and I'll show you how far the rabbit hole goes.
House: I'm not high?
Cameron: No.
Foreman: Which pill House?
House hesitantly picked up the red pill and took it with the water provided.
Foreman flipped out his snazzy phone and pressed a button.
Foreman: Do we have a signal!
Chase the operator of the ship was on the other line.
Chase: Not yet.
House started to shake
Cameron: He's going into shock.
Foreman: Do we have a signal!
Chase: I'm working on it.
Cameron: He's going into arrest
Foreman: Chase!
Chase: Locked I've got him!
Foreman: Now Chase Now!
Chase pressed a button that made it so that House was downloaded and reborn into the real world…..also since it took them so long to get a signal on House they switched to Verizon which has the fewest dropped calls.
Foreman and Cameron walked over to a ringing phone picked it up and were transferred back home, to their ship which was stationed somewhere in the sewers of destroyed cities.
Chase: Welcome back guys!
Foreman: Yes, yes hello. Our plan worked out well I must say
Cameron: Very nifty indeed!
Chase: Are we going to pick up House now?
Foreman: Yup.
Next Chapter: Welcome to the real world - Housezon.
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