Title: A Dick By Any Other Name
Summary: Sam Uley knows he has the biggest dick in the pack. Leah finally discovers Sam IS the biggest dick in the pack.
Pairing: Sam and Emily
Rating: M
Disclaimer: The author does not own any publicly recognizable entities herein. No copyright infringement is intended.
A Dick By Any Other Name
Jacob and Seth came barreling into the clearing and skidded to a stop. The bonfire was already blazing and the rest of the pack was seated, in human form, in a large circle around the fire. The only person standing was Sam as several pairs of eyes glanced in the direction of the newcomers.
"Shit!" Seth projected a quick thought to Jacob. "Do you see that? Sam's dick is peeking out under the leg of his shorts. Ewwww!"
Jacob huffed. "Dammit, Seth, don't LOOK at him! I'm sure he knows it anyway. Big prick is probably just showing off. Everybody's trying to ignore it."
"But Jake...my MOM!"
Wolfy chuckle. "Don't sweat it, Seth. I'm sure your mom has seen her share of male body parts. Besides, she's a lady. She'll give him what-for, but not in front of everyone. Come on - we're late."
The two wolves shifted silently, their backs to the circle, and slipped on their cutoffs before taking their places in the assembly. For some reason the fleshy tip of Sam's penis, a good six inches long in repose and bouncing against his leg, seemed more obscene than two bare-assed wolf boys.
As Sam strutted back and forth in the firelight, most of the shifters were staring fixedly at their hands, the fire...looking at anything but Sam's oversized dong. A notable exception was Leah, whose eyes followed Sam's every movement, her head bobbing in rhythm with his steps. Jacob caught her subtle motion and, to his horror, a giggle bubbled up in his throat. He coughed to cover it, but Sam glared at him.
When the meeting was over, Sam hurried off. The rest of the pack descended on the refreshments Sue had set up on the beach. Jacob found himself next to Leah as they elbowed their way toward the sausage and peppers. "Thanks, Mom," Leah mumbled as she accepted a sandwich.
"What the hell was that about?" Jacob nudged Leah as they found a perch on a large driftwood trunk.
"What was WHAT about, Jake? Oh, you mean Sam?" Her eyes sparkled in the moonlight. "He thinks he's hot stuff." She crammed a large bite into her mouth.
"Hmph. I wonder what Emily thinks about that thing," Jacob mused.
Leah shook her head in response, swallowing before she spoke. "She has no idea, Jake. They're waiting till they're married."
Jacob stared. "You're kidding me. Leah, they LIVE together!"
"Take my word for it, Jake. I doubt that my innocent little cousin has ever seen a penis, so she'd have no basis for comparison." She smiled "Still, I wouldn't mind being a fly on the wall when she gets a peek at Sam's johnson. I could tell her a thing or two…"
Jake interrupted. "Spare me, Leah. Please. We've all seen things we can never UNsee between you and Sam." He shuddered.
Leah grinned. "Let's just say we were compatible and leave it at that." The pink tip of her tongue darted out and caressed her upper lip, and Jacob swallowed hard. Leah jerked her head at a figure approaching them in the dark. "Hey Sam. What's up?"
Sam didn't answer but stared pointedly at Jacob. "Okaaaay then. I guess I can take a hint. I'll go get in line for seconds." Jake trotted off toward the refreshments but not completely out of earshot. He heard Sam clear his throat.
"Are you and Emily okay now, Lee?"
Leah frowned. "We're never gonna be BFF's, if that's what you mean - but yeah, we speak if we find ourselves in the same room. What are you getting at - and why this late at night?"
Sam looked uncomfortable. Leah noticed he'd changed into jeans and his signature grey shirt. "She could really use a friend, Leah. A girlfriend. You know. Someone to talk to. She's kind of naive, you know?"
"Jake? Hello!" Sue was holding out his plate, but he was obviously straining to hear something in the distance.
"Oh. Sorry, Sue. Thanks." Jake took the plate and sauntered toward his friends, his attention focused on Leah and Sam. Luckily for him, Sam hadn't noticed.
"Wait just a minute," Leah was saying. She stared up at Sam. "Just one second. This better not be what I think it is."
Jake looked at Quil, his eyes wide, and Quil shrugged. "No idea," he whispered.
Sam's face darkened and he hissed "Keep your voice down, Leah! Of course not! I just meant...you know, she's so inexperienced…"
Leah stared at Sam, aghast. "Are you telling me that you want ME to teach your NEW girlfriend how to please her man? Like Blowjob 101? Or maybe Sam's favorite positions?" Leah started to laugh. As Sam watched, helpless, she bent at the waist, put her hands on her knees, and laughed harder. Wiping tears from her eyes, she tried to regain control. "You bastard!" she finally managed to croak. "You big, dumb bastard," she repeated, warming to the subject. "Fuck you!" And she spun on her heel and stomped off, leaving Sam staring after her and the remaining pack members trying, once again, to contain their mirth and disappear among the driftwood.