Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.

Gone but Not Forgotten

Chapter 1: Do-s and Don'ts

Sacrifice

It is a far, far, better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far, better rest that I go to, than I have ever known.

Charles Dickens (1812 - 1870)

British novelist.

Sidney Carton's last words on the scaffold.

A Tale of Two Cities

He knew it was forbidden. Every night he told himself that. And ever night he creates rules for himself, a long and reasonable set of do's and don'ts. But every time. Every goddamn time he laid eyes on those enticing navy blue colored eyes, he'll break it all away. So every night he'll make himself a set of rules and every morning, every moment he laid eyes on him, they're all going to be shamefully broken one by one by just a mere glance and a single smile.

A mere glance and he'll be reduced to putty, all for him to mold and control. A single smile enough for his heart to stop beating in his chest. It was as if, he was falling for him over and over again.

He fought a tear from flowing. He choke down a sob. He never knew that it was so painful to fall in love. Keh. He wonders how those stupid human fools can say that love is the most wonderful thing in life. How can it be wonderful when it feels so painful?

But even through it all, he still comes back for more. Even though how many times he told himself that it will be the last, his body always protested. He was a drug. Something he can't get enough.

Call him a masochist for coming back for more even through the pain.

Call him a fool for desiring someone he cannot have.

And the gods cursed him for loving-yes, loving- someone, even though he cannot have him.

So yes, call him all kinds of things, and he wouldn't care. As long as he is there, although he cannot have him. He'll be alright. His god is there. Watching him. And that's what matters.

The Village of Konoha

Currently, the Fire country's most powerful village-for the first time since the great Ninja Wars- found itself faced with something they have no chance of winning. They are facing their own demons. Literally.

Kyuubi no Kitsune, the Nine-Tailed Fox Demon is currently wrecking havoc in their once peaceful village and they can do nothing about it. Their nightmares have begun.

But still desperately they fought the raging demon that threatened their beloved village. But no matter how much they fought it, they can't still make even a single scratch on it. Actually, all that they seem to do is to enrage it even further. But still they fought even though they knew that they can't do anything to stop it. They have to do it because their Hokage says so. And they believe in their Hokage.

"Hold your positions! We must not allow the demon to come near the Hokage Tower!" the ANBU squad leader shouted over. "This is the Hokage's order! Hold your damn positions!"

Inside the Hokage Tower

Inside the Hokage Tower, Uzumaki Arashi, the Forth Hokage, The Yellow Flash of Konoha, husband of a woman he barely knows and father to a child he'll never know if he wanted to execute the plan tonight, is carrying a precious bundle of flesh in his right hands while his left packed-up the things he needed for defeating the Kyuubi. He looked at his own child in his arms and felt his heart soften. How brave his child was, even with his umbilical cord still attached the child had not cried, not even once, not even to announce to the world the birth of Uzumaki Naruto. He softly kissed the child's forehead. This child would be the hero of the village, he'll make sure of that.

Suddenly he felt a presence but that didn't deter him from preparing the scrolls needed. He didn't even turn around to know who the intruder was. He knows that aura even from afar. His Prodigy. Hatake Kakashi.

"I will do this Kakashi, no matter what you say to me won't change my decision." the Yondaime sighed as he looked at his star pupil, "I will do this Kakashi, there is nothing you can do."

Silence engulfed the room as its two tenants stared down at each other. Finally it was broken by a cough made by the younger of the two. "I know that I can't do anything about it, but," he slowly walked forward towards the boy. "Your son will." He softly touched the newborn's head and with a nod from his sensei he took the child from Arashi's hands. He looked at his sensei in the eyes and whispered. "How can you leave your son alone like this? How can you make him suffer like this?"

Arashi suddenly looked away and tried to find a small bag for the scrolls. Silence once again filled the room. "What are you saying Kakashi? I am not leaving him alone. I have already instructed the Sandaime of what he must do incase I died."

Kakashi let out a short laugh. "You know what I am saying sensei, don't fool with me. You know how it feels to be alone. You know how it feels to live inside a world that doesn't care about you. You yourself is an orphan, you know how it feels to be alone with no one to turn on to. You-"

"I know!" Arashi bellowed. "I know that I am leaving him alone." After a few minutes of silence he spoke up again. "And I also know that he won't feel the hurt that I have suffered on my early age. Sandaime will proclaim my child as a hero, someone worthy of recognition. The village would love him. And then many will come to the Sandaime to adopt the child. He'll grow up loved by everyone and won't fucking feel alone! Can't you understand Kakashi; I will not make my child suffer like I did!"

"You will make him suffer just by killing yourself! He'll grow up not even knowing his own father!"

"He'll grow up surrounded by love and affection that he'll never want to know his own father again because he is happy and contented with his own life! Because knowing his own father would disrupt the balance in his life! It will only complicate things!"

"You think so lowly of your own child." Kakashi whispered, unable to bear what his sensei is saying.

Silence.

"I am the Hokage Kakashi, leader of the great village of Konoha who is currently under the mercy of a raging fire demon. It is my duty to protect her and her people Kakashi. I must for I am the Hoka-"

"And most importantly, the father of a child who needs you more than any one else!"

Silence.

This time it wasn't the two of them who disrupted it, but rather the loud and mighty roar of an enraged demonic kitsune. Fear entered the Yondaime's eyes before he quickly grabbed his son out of the warm arms of his student as he held to his other the bag that holds the scrolls he needed.

"I must do this Kakashi, there is nothing more you can do." And with that, Yondaime left leaving a very silent Kakashi as he faced the Kyuubi no Kitsune.

Twelve Years Later

A tall lean man with sun kissed skin and bright blue eyes eyed the village of Konoha from his office at the Hokage tower. The village was prospering; he was glad that the scars on the night Kyuubi attacked are slowly ebbing away from the villagers' memory. A small smile entered his lips as he recalled what today was; today is the day that the ninjas from the ninja academy is going to graduate. They are the hope of Konoha's future, without them Konoha would be nothing. A sigh escaped him as he closed his eyes and basked at the morning sun.

A knock interrupted his musings. "Come in," He grunted.

"Hokage-sama," his secretary said in a soft voice. "Your son has already arrived with Hatake Kakashi."

He eyed his secretary as he combed his hair with his hands. He gently stretched his arms as he moved towards his seat to collect the paper works. After a few minutes, he asked his secretary. "Are you sure it's all of my work today, Kimiko? My, I can say that my paper work is getting thinner and thinner." To emphasize this he put his thumb and forefinger parallel to each other decreasing in space between them as he said the word thinner.

His secretary laughed softly, and he grinned at her.

"Are they still there?" He asked her.

"Yes, Hokage-sama. They are still waiting for you." His secretary smiled.

He nodded. "Tel them to go ahead and wait for me in the Ichiraku. I'll follow them after a few minutes; I just have a couple of things to do." He told her.

Than, as fast as lightning his secretary's once joyous expression changed into that of concern. But she obeyed nonetheless and left then room, locking the door as he goes.

He smiled softly, of all his secretaries Kimiko was the one who survived him the longest. Being with her for a long 2 years while the others just survived him for about a couple of months. And because of this, it's no surprise for him to know that the villagers and other low level ninjas gossip that Kimiko shares his bed. He doesn't make a move to stop it, no matter how many times the council asks him.

'Let the villagers have their fun,' he always tells them.

He knows that Kimiko likes him; hell almost half the population of Konoha likes him. But no matter how good looking Kimiko is, he just doesn't swing that way. If you know what I mean.

Ah, but enough of his sexuality and such. He looked at the clock on the other side of the wall and smiled anxiously. It's almost time for his rituals.

A few minutes after, he finally left the haven of his office and walked on the streets. Bowing respectfully and with a smile on his face as the other ninjas bowed at him. Some with respect for all his military histories. And others with a blush-mostly with newly graduated ninjas and women jounins.

A few minutes of bowing and saluting later, he finally arrived at his destination. There seated at one of the stools and on the other was a blonde boy he will always cherish. "Hey," He called out just to get their attentions. Surprisingly, they did. One by one their heads turned to meet him. Until at last azure blue eyes met its own colors, except that it was on its chibi form.

"Papa!" His own son shouted as he moved towards him enveloping him in a hug. He reached out a hand to ruffle his son's blonde hair and said. "How are you Naruto?"

AN: Please review! Truthfully, I don't have a single idea where this fiction is going. Send me what you think about this and your suggestions as to what you wanted to happen on this fic and maybe I'll think about it. This will be yaoi obviously and will-maybe- have some OC characters. Thank you for reading this fiction and please review!