Disclaimer: Hi guys and gals! On April 1st, 2009 I wrote this story and uploaded it with a fake title and summary as an April Fool's Day prank for my readers. This is the way the story link read:
Title: "Dramatic Pause"
Summary: Bruce froze in the doorway to his bedroom. For there, lying in his bed was the beautiful form of his Diana, asleep... with her arms lovingly wrapped around....Alfred. Oh yeah.
The following is what the readers who clicked on that link saw that day. Please enjoy.
PSYCH!!!!
April Fool's!!!! BWHHAHAHA!
You guys are sick! Ewww! I can't believe you wanted to read that! You should all feel ashamed. XD
Hehehe! Just kidding. Anyway, in tradition of my April Fools day pranks of giving people happy surprises instead of doing something mean. (Why? Because I'm a nice person and I'd rather make people happy. ^_^)
I now give you a special holiday short fic I like to call: "Punchline." Summary: The Joker and Trickster team up for April Fool's Day. Can Bats and Flash stop them?
Enjoy!
P.S. I own nothing!
---Punchline---
By: Mists
-Joker's POV-
The Joker sat at his workstation drawing up his latest plan for Batman's untimely demise.
"Grrr! No, no, no! It's all wrong! And where would I find a chicken suit in that size anyway?!" exclaimed the Joker as he balled up another page of rejected plans.
"Blast it! Of all the time to have writer's block it had to be on the greatest day of the year, April Fool's!" he said to the hyenas as he stomped off in an irritated huff.
The Joker had just woken up from his second Ace-induced coma a few weeks ago and was ready to give the world hell! But with Harley still in the hospital and his creativity in the pot; what was a crazed lunatic clown to do?
He couldn't just sit it out his favorite holiday. It was the principle of the thing! Not that he had many principles mind you, but the ones he had, he was quite determined to keep.
"It has to be something huge! Something that no one will be able to out do…." mumbled the Joker as he put his hand to his chin in thought.
After five minutes…a dust bunny rolled by him and he exploded in a fit of rage.
He ripped the flower out of his lapel and started to jump up and down on it chanting, "Damn it, damn it, damn it!"
It was then that a whistle drew his attention back to the work table.
"Man!" said a costumed man with pink and yellow hair, "You're really having a creative crisis here. I mean…a chicken suit? Really, a renowned villain such as yourself should be able to come up with better material than this!"
The Joker rounded on the man and pushed up his sleeves as if he was itching for a fight.
"And just who, pray tell, are you?"
"Oh! Silly me, I forgot to introduce myself…I'm-" said the man as he grasped his cape with a flourish, "the Trickster!"
He finished with a nerdy giggle that made Joker roll his eyes.
"Great…just what I needed today, some low rank amateur who thinks he's got what it takes to be my sidekick," thought the Joker as he glared at the man.
"Charmed," he said flatly. "Now…would you mind telling me why you are here?"
"Well, when I heard you had broken out of prison I thought, hey! Wouldn't it be great to team up with my idol and take out our superhero nemesis together!" exclaimed the Trickster as he started to hop up and down in excitement.
Joker raised an eyebrow at this. "And just who in the heck is your protagonist, someone lame like Aquaman…or dare I even say, 'Captain Hammer?'"
"….Was that a Dr. Horrible reference?" asked the Trickster.
The Joker sighed, "Yes….now enough of your inane chatter…Just which low rank hero wastes his precious time on you?"
The Trickster turned his nose up clearly hurt by this. "Well, fine! If you don't want to help me take out the Flash then-"
"Whoa! Wait! Time out! Rewind!" yelled the Joker as he made the "T" symbol with his hands. "The Flash…seriously?!"
"Well, yeah! I thought you know, since he beat your ass last time you might be interested…But I can see now that you aren't. So I'll just-"
"Tricky! Baby! Now don't be like that to your Big Papa J!" said Joker as he put a friendly arm around the Trickster's shoulders. "With my experience and your…"
Trickster looked at him expectantly.
"Um…youthful-urm…exuberance! We'll be sure to give Bats and Red a holiday they're sure to remember…." laughed the Joker as he steered the Trickster toward his work table.
-Flash's POV-
It had been quite the eventful day. It started out with him, Diana, and John setting up a surprise for Supes at the Fortress of Solitude. Next he ambushed Shayera, covering her in silly-string and hiding in the men's bathroom for an hour. Then, he got J'onn by eating a whole bag of Oreos in front of him. You see Ming had forbid him to eat any for a month, hoping to curb his slowly developing addiction to them. But J'onn got Wally back by playing death metal across his brain waves for a good two hours. John woke up from his nap to find his refrigerator empty and all the rest of his furniture placed outside his apartment. His landlady was more than a little displeased to say the least and he had the bruises to prove it. Gypsy phased Flash and Shayera (who had called a truce) into Diana's room and made a fort out of her mattress and couch cushions. Diana was hot for his blood once she found her usually tidy room in shambles.
And now Wally was running for his life away from Orion and Barda. Apparently, they had fallen for his laser-trip slime trap. Being covered in green Zorlap phlegm made the two new gods very angry and were determined to pound the ever living crap out of him.
All in all…it had been a very eventful day.
There was only one person he had left to prank.
"Speak of the Bat…" thought Wally as Bats came out of nowhere and stepped in front of Barda and Orion's path.
"Out of the way Batman!" growled Barda as she wiped some of the green slime off of her face.
Batman just glared at her and said, "I'll deal with him. Now go get cleaned up."
"No way, we deserve retribution! We-"
But Orion was silenced by the intensity of Batman's glare.
After a few minutes, the gods reluctantly headed toward the showers.
"Whew! Thanks Bat-"
Batman then turned his glare on him.
"We don't have time for this," he grunted as he grabbed Wally's arm and dragged him to the teleporter room. "I got a tip that the Joker and the Trickster have teamed up. They're planning something big."
"Uh oh," thought Flash as Batman pulled him along.
"Uh….Bats…I think you're worrying a bit too much about this," said Flash as he clawed at Batman's iron grip. "I mean…the tip could be fake!"
The Dark Knight growled, "The Joker is out there somewhere. If those two got together it would be disastrous…If James is there, you'll know how to handle him. Now enough games, come on!"
"Damn it," thought Flash as he was yanked reluctantly into the teleporter.
-Joker's POV-
Joker couldn't put his finger on it…but there was something very…unnerving about this man. That…and his voice sounded awfully familiar.
"Oh! I know! We can crash the Flash Museum! They have this big statue of Flash there…We could paint the face in clown makeup and put a big pink tutu on him! And then…when the Flash shows up….we take out the supports and crush him with his own statue… It's the perfect irony to be taken out by a replica of yourself! And then ….hehehe! Everything explodes!!!!" laughed the Trickster.
The Joker merely groaned, "Why must all your plans end with 'and then something explodes.' I swear you have about as much creativity as Michael Bay."
This comment put a soar look the Trickster face. "Well fine, Mr. Smarty-pants. How would you do it?"
"Well first I would use my gas on everyone in the museum. Then I-"
The Trickster snorted at this. "Talk about unoriginal! I mean my god, how many times are you going to use that same gas of yours? Everyone even knows the antidote to it now. Heck, I even came with a bottle in case you used it on me! Just face it, you're past your prime."
Joker sent him a glare of Batman proportions. "You know, you are starting to irritate me! Maybe I should tryout a new blend of my gas on you!" he yelled as he smashed his fist onto the table.
"You'd just be proving my point then… duh!" said Trickster getting right up into Joker's face.
"Shut it you, no talent hack! What I wouldn't give to be able to dunk you into a vat of acid…" growled Joker as he started to grind his teeth.
"And my point is proven! Ha- ha!" said Trickster as he pulled out a white capsule. "I created a really strong base to counteract the acid in my snot-gun one time. I decided to bring it along just in case you had any lingering 'acidic fetishes,' " replied the Trickster as he finished with air quotes.
Not since Batman and the Flash had the Joker met anyone this infuriating!! Here it was, April Fool's Day and not one of their plans had come together! The day was almost over!
Could this day get any worse?!
CRASH!!!
"Damn, I hate irony," thought the Joker as he saw Batman land in the middle of the room from the skylight.
-Batman's POV-
To say that Batman had crashed into a bad scene was not only a terrible pun…but also a strangely accurate statement.
"Oh for the love of god, can't you ever just use the door!" screeched Joker at the top of his lungs.
"See!" said the Trickster as he pointed at the imposing form of the Dark Knight, "Now he knows what the people want, action!"
The Joker felt his eye being to twitch. Just as he was about to turn and strangle the Trickster, the Flash zipped in and said, "Hi!"
And quickly took his position next to Batman.
"That's it!!! I'm done! I've had enough damn it!!" yelled the Joker as he grabbed the Trickster and pushed him towards the shocked superheroes.
"Please, just take him away! I can't stand the sound of that annoying voice anymore!"
"Hey! What do you mean?!" pouted the crazed man.
"You sound just like that half wit actor….you know…the one that voices all those cartoon villains….like the Fire Emperor…or that one on the robot monkey show..."
"Ooh! You mean 'Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go!'" exclaimed Flash as Batman and the Trickster sent him withering looks.
"Hehehee…yeah, uh-sorry," said Flash as he sheepishly scratched at the back of his head.
"Yes, precisely, thank you.." replied the Joker absentmindedly, apparently still off in his own world. "His name is on the tip of my tongue! Oooh! Ooo! It's Marr…Martin-Marcel Hem-Ham- …"
"Oooo! Oooo! Marvin Hamlisch?" asked the Trickster as he waved his hand wildly in the air.
This time everyone gave the Trickster a strange look.
"What?" he asked with a shrug.
"Hamlisch is a composer, not an actor," grunted Batman.
Flash opened his mouth as if he was about to comment when Batman interrupted him. "If what you are about to say involves any of the lyrics from A Chorus Line, I will kill you."
Needless to say, Flash shut his mouth immediately.
"Look, whatever," sighed the Joker as he put a forlorn hand to his head. "My day is ruined! And I just can't stand that wantabe anymore."
"Oh well, boo-hoo for you!" said the Trickster as he stuck out his tongue at the Joker.
Batman then walked over and cuffed him.
Once the handcuffs snapped shut around the Joker's wrists, the Trickster and the Flash shared a sly glance.
"Should we?" asked the Trickster with a sinister smile.
"Let's," said Flash with a grin as they both turned towards Batman and the Joker and shouted, "APRIL FOOL'S!!"
"W-Wait, what?!" stuttered the Joker as Batman watched Wally and James dissolve into hysterics.
Batman just glared at the two and growled, "Explain."
"S-see, I was visiting James in the hospital," said Wally gasping for air, "And he said that he wanted to have one last hurrah as the Trickster…."
James continued for him, "S-so Flash said that it being almost April Fools Day, I should pull off the biggest prank of all, on the greatest trickster of all time, the Joker!"
"I bet him he couldn't do it-"
"That reminds me Flash, you owe me a case of cherry cola and ten boxes of Pop Rocks."
"Man! I was hoping you'd forget that….Oh well…small price to pay, small price to pay-" laughed the Flash.
"So you mean to tell me, that this was all just a set up to keep me here all day?!" screamed the Joker as it all started to hit him.
"Yup! And then I was supposed to zip in and capture you and leave you tied up in front of the Metro Tower with a big sign that said, 'The Greatest Fool of All!' To: Batman, Love, The Trickster!"
Wally and James then broke down in hysterics again.
"I would have been infamous!" the Trickster exclaimed as he wiped away a tear.
"And we would have gotten away with it too, if you hadn't been a nosy little Bat and drug me here before it was time!" grumbled Flash as he crossed his arms and pouted.
"Well…look on the bright side, at least we got to pull one over on the Joker," sighed the Trickster as he put a comforting hand on Wally's shoulder.
"Hehehee! Yeah…." said Flash as he gave James a light punch in the arm.
It was then that something wicked stirred inside Batman as he held the Joker back from physically attacking the pair of pranksters. Bruce had always thought his sense of humor had died long ago…but every now and then…Wally just seemed to bring his dormant sense of humor back to life.
And now just happened to be one of those times….
"Who says we can't?" asked Batman as a wicked smile slid across his face.
He caught the Joker's eye and the clown started to tremble in fear. That look always meant trouble.
"What did you say?" asked Flash as he and the Trickster walked towards Batman.
"I said….who says we can't finish it…" said Batman coldly and the three of them looked at the Joker evilly.
"W-Wait! You're the good guys!!! You can't-" screamed the Joker as the three closed in on him.
"Not today, we are," laughed Flash as he and the others set the plan into motion.
And so the League celebrated the end of April Fool's Day by throwing water balloons at the man who truly was… "The Greatest Fool of All."
-The End-
Author's Notes: Hope you all liked the story! Hehehe! Also I just wanted to mention that Mark Hamill aka Luke Skywalker, aka Fire Lord Ozai, aka so many characters I can't even count, did the voices of both the Joker and the Trickster. So that's what that joke was about for those who didn't know. Also, Marvin wrote and composed A Chorus Line so that's where the last part of the joke came in. His name sounded a bit like Mark's so I thought it would be funny.
Anyway! Hope everyone has a safe and happy, April Fools Day! Ahhh! April, my favorite month….Why? Because the 19th's my birthday! YAY!! Party time!
More "Double Edged Sword" to come soon! That's it from me! Now please review!