Warnings: Uhh.. kinda gets sorta slashy at the end, but not really... Just read to see what I mean. It's really insane and stupid. Also: Ooo, one cuss word.
I don't own Invader Zim or any of these characters.
After Midnight
by Idgiebay
One fine morning, Dib awoke feeling especially energetic, so he decided to go outside. Since the ground was made of cheese, though, he decided to ride a pony to school, only it wasn't a pony; it was a stuffed cow.
Along the way, he met up with Gaz, who was wearing a green doggy suit and carrying a tray of freshly baked cookies. She grinned at him as her head started to rotate on her shoulders and her bright, lavender eyes reflected nonexistent stars. She shoved the cookie tray in his face. "Free. Take one."
"What kind ya got?" Dib asked.
"Poo, spam, chocolate bubblegum, and poo."
Dib picked up a poo-flavored cookie and swallowed it. He was surprised to find that it tasted like chicken, but he threw up on Gaz's shoes anyway.
Happy to be of service, Gaz shuffled along the cheese-street, but unfortunately fell in a swiss hole.
Dib continued riding on his stuffed pony-cow when he noticed a familiar green figure up ahead. He cautiously rode up to Zim and realized that the alien wasn't in his costume. It was okay, though, because the sun was pink tonight. Dib also noticed that his rival was wearing a black, v-neck dress that barely went passed his thighs, and bright red lipstick on his lips.
Dib thought Zim looked so cute, he couldn't help but ask, "Do you think there's life on Jupiter?"
"I don't know, how about Uranus?"
"Haha, you said 'how'."
"Heheh, yeah."
Dib smiled at his rival. "I'm in love with you, Zim."
"Take me, I'm yours."
Dib picked Zim up and put him in the plastic bag that he was suddenly holding. Whistling a happy tune, he left his stuffed pony-cow in a room with a moose and happily skipped over to the nearest music store.
In the music store, he realized that he liked to scratch records, so he changed his name to P. Dibby and became a famous rapper. He did many tours in the U.S. and Canada and eventually made enough money to buy the moon.
Once he was on the moon, which was made of rubber, he remembered that he left Zim in his plastic bag. He opened the bag, but a strange robot with blue eyes popped out.
"You're not Zim," P. Dibby said, frowning.
"And you're not a cupcake," the robot replied.
P. Dibby looked at the ground; he wanted to share his success with the alien drag queen. From the corner of his eye, he saw the little robot unzip a zipper at the top of its head and out came Zim. Yay!
Zim made himself as sexy-looking as possible and said, "Give daddy some sugar."
P. Dibby and Zim leaned closer and closer and closer and closer to each other until—
"AHHHHHHH!!" Gaz sat up in bed, sweat drenching her entire body. "What the HELL was that?!" She glanced down at the empty pizza box on the floor, which was surrounded by scattered brainfreezy cups devoid of liquid. Letting out a deep sigh, she slowly lied back down in bed and reminded herself to never ever have pizza and brainfreezies after midnight again.
Crazy, no? o.O;; Umm, you can review if you want.