The Terrible Deed

James quietly walked into his bedroom and sat down on the bed and tried to regain his composure; he was trembling and sweating wildly. He couldn't believe he had performed such a terrible deed, but there was no other way. The doctors assumed that she was going to die this weekend anyway, so now they were finally right. Those doctors… What the hell did they know? They had been such blithering idiots from the start. They never knew from one moment to the next what was going on with Mary's condition. Knowing how inaccurate their calculations were she was probably going to live for years before she succumbed to that horrid disease.

However, this last week the doctors were all in agreement. Any day now, any day now, any day now; that's no way for anyone to have to live. Under the painful shadow of death, always knowing it was just around the corner, but never knowing when it was to occur. This way was much better. This was the only way to end her pain and suffering. At least when she died here she was safe and with the man she loved. There would be no swarm of doctors crowding over her, no needles, IV's, or other instruments to invade her tiny body. Yes, this was a much better way.

James sat quietly for a little while longer and he looked at the pillows that were on his king size bed. His heart sank in his chest.

"It took such a long time." He thought. "On television and in the movies it takes only a few seconds, but in real life it takes much more time."

James fell back onto the soft mattress and stared at the cracks in the ceiling.

"Why did it take so long?" He thought. "She wasn't struggling too much. She did scream for a short time, but then she…"

He didn't want to finish the sentence his mind was forming, so he decided not to focus on why the horrible deed took so long but more on the relief he felt now that Mary was dead. She wouldn't be ill anymore, she would never have to take those dreadful pills or be hooked up to another I.V. and she wouldn't have to suffer anymore. But more importantly than that, he would never have to visit her in the hospital ever again. He would never have to pretend to try to cheer her up as she screamed at him.

Mary was never grateful to him when he came to visit. He tried everything in his power to cheer her up, but nothing was ever good enough. She would scoff at his jokes, deride his inane small talk, she would even yell at him when he came to visit her with flowers, nothing he did was good enough. She just wanted to wallow in the fact that she was dying. Yes, this was the best for everyone. Now he could resume his life. James sighed with relief. Things would be better now that Mary was gone.

James rolled over on his side and let his mind drift off. There was so much he wanted to do. There were so many places he wanted to go and so many women willing to indulge in pleasures of the flesh. Now that Mary was officially dead he could go out and find someone to sleep with him. Three years… That's how long she had been dying and during those three years never once did she allow him to touch her. That's a long time for a man to go unloved. If only he had the courage to carry on an affair while she was sick.

He had tried several times to find a woman to relieve his frustrations. He spent a lot of his free time when he was home alone browsing through several different website specifically designed to find women to mindlessly fornicate with. He had even met up with a few of the women on that site; he would meet them at a local hotel and have flowers and wine waiting for them. They were always grateful for the flowers. But when it came time for coition, James could never get the courage to go through with it.

James snapped out of his mindless gaze and realized he was looking at Mary's side of the bed. His heart sank once more. It was at that moment he realized why he could never go though with having an affair. It was because he loved her too much and would never want to hurt her that way. Even if Mary would never find out about it, he just couldn't betray her like that. He reached out his hand and rubbed her side of the bed longingly. The other reason he couldn't be with those women was because they weren't virgins like Mary was. When he and Mary married, she came to their wedding bed pure, untouched by any man. In fact, she was so pure she came to their wedding bed with her hymen intact. A smile passed across James' lips as he thought about their wedding night.

Mary was so beautiful that night; her flawless radiant skin seemed to glow under the pale rays of the full moon that burst brightly through the bridal suite window. Her alabaster skin was also illumined by the warm light provided by a few scented candles placed around the room. When he walked into the room and saw Mary lying on the bed wearing nothing but her very modest wedding undergarments; her soft sweetly scented hair was draped around her shoulders. She looked so beautiful and so vulnerable, immediately his lust got the better of him. He instantly dove on the bed and began to kiss her lips passionately. He could tell she was taken aback by his actions.

"James." She stopped him for a moment. "Please be gentle. It's my…"

"Yes." He interrupted her. "I know Mary; I'll try to be gentle. I love you so much Mary."

"I love you too James." She said sweetly.

James began to kiss her once more and his hand groped at her tiny frame, practically ripping off her undergarments and touching every inch of her. James' lust was spiraling out of control. He was like a wild animal on the prowl during a fierce mating season, not stopping until his lust was fulfilled. At last this was going to happen; James had waited so long to make love to Mary. While they were dating, Mary told James early on that she did not believe in pre-martial sex and forbid him to touch her in any sexual way. He wanted her so badly and he was willing to do anything to have her. Finally, tonight he was going to have his way with her.

James plunged himself into Mary's delicate flower and she began to squirm. The pain she felt from her innocence being taken was intense.

"James!" She said "It hurts. You're hurting me."

"I'm sorry." He groaned. "Just lie still and it will stop hurting soon."

Mary tried to lie still as James suggested, but the pain was terrible. She felt as though he was ripping her open. She couldn't understand what the big deal about sex was if it always felt this excruciating. As James pressed a little deeper inside her, Mary shrieked.

"James please." She begged squirming even more. "This hurts. I don't like it."

"Relax Mary." James said not relenting. "I'm almost inside you."

"James…"

Before Mary could put up any further protest, James thrust deeply inside her completely shattering her virginity. Mary let out an ear piercing scream as James fully entered her. Never in his life had he felt something as lovely as her. James wasn't terribly experience with women; he had only been with three other women before her and none of them were as special as he, none of them love him as much as she did. Those previous encounters were devoid of any real emotion other then pure lust and afterwards, James felt empty. This time was much different then before; James could feel Mary's love for him as they made love.

James snapped out of his daydream and sat up on the headboard of the bed.

"I always end up hurting her…" He said softly.

With a sigh he got up from the bed and walked out of his bedroom. Standing by the door he contemplated going inside Mary's room, but he didn't want to see her corpse lying there. Her lifeless body on the bed, reminding him of the evil deed he just committed. Damn Mary! Damn her to hell for making him hurt her again. If she had gone to the doctor's sooner… If she had listened to their advice in the beginning… If she paid more attention to her health… If she had just done all those things three years ago, none of this wouldn't be happening right now. He wouldn't have been forced to…

James balked finishing the sentence.

"No." He said frantically. "I didn't do anything. She was sick. She was dying. She had been dying for three years now."

James looked at the door of her room again and he began to panic. Turning his eyes away from the door as if that would break him of his panic, James walked back into his bedroom and slammed the door. Once inside, he began to pace wildly, as if he was an animal trapped in a cage trying desperately to find a way out.

"She was sick. She was dying. She was ill. She didn't have long left." James whispered to himself frantically. "Besides it wasn't like I had gone in there to do such a terrible thing. I went to check on her and then I…"

James balked again.

"No!" He screamed. "She was already dead. She was sick. She was ill. She was dying and had been slowly dying for three years."

It was all her fault; she drove him to do it. He didn't mean to perform such a terrible deed, but she said it herself, she wanted to die and drove him do it. Three years wasted; if he had only acted sooner. James thought about the length of time again and he instantly became enraged. Three years! Three damn years she spent dying and in that time she was slowly sucking his life away too. Three years! Three years of her yelling and screaming at him in front of doctors and nurses. Three years of her never being grateful for his visits. Three years of no sexual contact. Three years! Three years! Three YEARS!!!

James was now in a full on rage. He flipped the little nightstand that stood by the bed over onto the floor and tore all the sheets off the bed and threw them all around the room. When that was over he picked up one of Mary's perfume bottles and threw it across the room shattering it into hundreds of little pieces. Then he picked up another bottle shattering that, then another bottle, and another until all her sweet smelling perfume bottles were all gone. And with that last bottle of cologne gone, so was all his anger and frustration.

James sank to the floor and began to sob bitterly as the final revelation hit him. Mary was dead and all because of the horrible act he committed. Hours passed before James finally pulled himself together. James pulled himself up off the floor and began to clean up the mess he'd made. By the time he was finished sweeping up all the shards of glass and putting his bed back together it was pitch black outside. He was exhausted beyond anything he had ever known. His head was pounding from all the mingled perfume scents that blanketed the room.

James walked over to the bedroom window and opened it wide. The cool air was a much welcomed feeling on his overheated skin and his mind began to clear. He wanted to take a shower, but first there was one last thing he had to do before he could shower and retire to bed. With a heavy sigh, James opened up his bedroom door and slowly walked down the dark hallway towards Mary's room. Gathering all his courage, James opened up the door to her room.

Flicking the light switch on, there she lie upon the bed, motionless and silent. James cautiously approached her, afraid of looking at her, fearing she would jump up and berate him for trying to kill her, but she didn't move a muscle and she didn't speak a word. Mary was dead. James picked up Mary's lifeless body and quietly walked downstairs through the kitchen and out to the garage where his blue Chevy was parked. James opened up the rear door of his car and gently laid Mary's body down on the backseat. Shutting the car door, James walked out of the garage and back upstairs to his room.

He so desperately wanted to take a shower now, but his body was too exhausted to drag himself down the dark hallway, so he would settle for a good nights rest. Taking off his clothes James slowly slid into bed. It didn't take long before his eyes closed and James into a deep dreamless sleep.