Disclaimer- All hail JK Rowling! She is the one and only owner of the Potterverse. If it were mine I wouldn't be sharing Severus with anyone.
"Snape, Severus"
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"
"A boy, you brainless hat."
"Oh, a boy, and one with an attitude too. Hmm... you know it's rude to talk to your elders like that young man."
"You know— I could care less. Let's just get this over with."
"Why so moody?"
"You put my best friend in Gryffindor, that's why."
"I could put you in Gryffindor too. Yes, you are very brave and loyal to your friend."
"I don't belong in Gryffindor."
"You may not think so child, but you do. For you see, your heart is full of bravery. You are like a lion waiting to attack and surprise your enemies if they dare to harm your friends and family. Yes, Gryffindor would be perfect for you."
"Please don't put me in Gryffindor. I didn't mean to call you brainless."
"Why don't you want to be a Gryffindor? Isn't your friend there?"
"Lily won't care if I'm in Slytherin. She'll still be my friend."
"Oh, so you want to go to Slytherin, don't you? Yes, you do have quite the amount of cunning, but why Slytherin?"
"My mum was in Slytherin. If she finds out I'm in Gryffindor and freaks out, dad will— "
"Your dad will do what, child?"
"Nothing, just ignore what I said."
"Hmmm, you know I wonder if perhaps I should put you in Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff."
"You know, I wonder how fast it takes a thousand-year-old hat to burn? Better yet, if one could use pieces of it for potion ingredients? Who's the Potions professor? I could ask them if it's possible."
"The Potions professor is Horace Slughorn, and for your information, you can't burn me or use me to brew potions. That's cruel thinking for someone so young."
"And your point is? Just put me in Slytherin, you have other people to sort you know."
"You may not see all the Gryffindor qualities in yourself, but rest assured that they are there. Very well then, since you so desperately want to be a Slytherin, I shall grant you your wish, little Prince. Just remember to keep your friends close and always follow the goodness in your heart. Good luck in
SLYTHERIN!"
A/N- This was written for the "Conversation with a hat" Challenge. The challenge was to write a story with a character talking to the Sorting Hat using only dialogue, I thought it was easy then found myself utterly baffled as to how to write it, somehow I manged and I hope you'll all enjoy it. Thanks to my amazing beta debjunk for looking this through. Next up is Millicent.
Please review~!