[Disclaimer] This story is going to contain basic Japanese, look at the bottom for translations marked with [*]
- Chapter I: Awake -
'Go...shu…jin…sama*...'
My uttering voice wasn't strong enough to hold onto the lightly blowing wind.
'Go...shu...jin...sama...'
This fragile body covered in pitiful wounds. Not strong enough to walk any further through the hazy desert.
'Go...shu...jin...sama…'
The muscles keeping this body moving had all fallen numb days ago. Months… perhaps years…
'Go...shu…jin…sama…'
Finally the burden, my yearning soul had become, came to stop and released this body to collapse.
All the pain and exhaustion I tried to ignore swallowed me up, leaving not a single hint of salvation for this restless poor soul.
I could barely keep my eyes narrowed.
Trying to reach for the path in front of me I utter once more in great pain 'Go…shu...jin…sama...'
This hand which still was slightly held up, desperately tried to reach for that person, 'do...ko….e..?**'
In the end it fell onto the ground as well and everything I could sense around me slowly faded into another dark and lonely scene.
The cold arms of death embraced me into an eternal sleep.
Is it over now?
Has my sorrowful soul come to rest?
Has my heart beaten enough for my kind?
Has the path I've been walking on for so long ended in such a tragic way with no escape or hope to give me back what was stolen from me?
I want him to call me once more… by the name he gave me… just once more…
I want to hear his voice… please… call me by that name you gave me… ha-….
My body was laying somewhere in the unfamiliar desert I'd been walking through since an eternity.
The more steps I took, the more hope had left me that once I'd become nothing but nutrient to this wasteland there would be someone to discover the corpse, the existence of my very soul.
It would all wither. Just like that. Without anyone noticing…
Without him knowing… I'd been searching all this time…
For the person, I "belonged" to….
'Are you alive?' Enclosed in this pitiful state for an indescribably long time,
I could just faintly hear a female voice calling out for me.
I don't know. I don't know if I'm still alive, if I died.
All of this seems like a long nightmare. A long hideous nightmare I can't pull myself out of.
'I think she's dead.' A male voice had spoken now.
'Idiot. Can't you feel it? There's still reiatsu in her body. Orihime-san! Try to heal her!' The female voice from before demanded.
"Heal me"? Certainly, my thoughts were as clear as they hadn't been since ages, but the rest of my body felt awfully numb, enough to lure my irritated mind back to its slumber.
Before I could let go of consciousness however, unfamiliar reiatsu slowly flew through my body.
The numbness seemed to gradually vanish.
Carefully I tried to open my eyes.
Just where would this warm power come from?
Though I was still unable to move I could feel how the pain was taken from me and even the darkness inside my heart seemed to decrease.
'You are finally awake!' In front of my still tired eyes was kneeing a woman with an innocent face and long orange hair. Her hands were reaching out, building an unfamiliar barrier of exerted reiatsu around me.
It wasn't just a barrier though. She was the one healing me, wasn't she?
With big curious eyes I just stared at her. Why was someone all the way out here? Why could I breathe through the thick air of my own exhaustion?
I recalled the suffocating heat of the desert, the fine sand burning its disarrayed pattern into my pale skin, pain of which none I could feel now. This woman was the only thing around me my eyes could perceive.
I quietly whispered, 'Who… are you..?'
'I'm Inoue Orihime.' She replied with a friendly smile that complimented the mellow tone of her voice.
'Ori…hime?' My eyes narrowed again, I still felt dizzy.
My mind wasn't as stable yet as I had believed it to be.
Once more I tried to move, but my body stood motionless.
'Please don't push yourself. I'm not finished yet.' Orihime focused even more of her reiatsu into the barrier.
I glanced at her before I turned my face back to look up at the sky.
But instead of a blue sky I found myself looking at an old wooden ceiling.
'Where… am I…?' I asked, standing still just as she had told me to.
'You are in Seireitei. ' Another female voice spoke.
I looked over to see its owner.
Little rays of sunlight, thrown from a small window on the wooden wall before me against where I assumed the bottom of the opposite wall to be, shone on a woman with hair as dark as the night, who had been standing right behind Orihime and unlike her she had quite a confident expression on.
My heart felt troubled to hear her answer. 'Seireitei…' I faintly whispered into the dark room.
Curious about my reaction she closely stared at me and I could sense her trying to figure out what I was, if I was enemy, victim or a friend.
I glanced at her and the orange haired man beside her, 'My name is Hanekyo.'
'Kuchiki Rukia, vice-lieutenant of the 13th division.' The woman's expression didn't change.
The orange haired guy smiled at me, 'Kurosaki Ichigo!'
I smiled back and gazed at the ceiling again.
'Why have the vice-lieutenant of the 13th division and 2 humans saved my life?'
Ichigo seemed surprised about my question, but Rukia just closed her eyes and opened them with another serious look on her face, 'We found you nearby the house of a comrade. At first, I thought you were a Shinigami, but judging from your reiatsu you are just a simple soul. So, tell me why you were lying out there.'
I lifted up my arm looking at my hand as I carefully moved my fingers.
'I walked… I kept walking aimlessly, despairingly... until my legs could no longer rely on that despair and along with this body... I was meant to rest without finding him…' I said while my face saddened and the image of his smile briefly appeared before me.
The three of them seemed irritated and curious at once.
'You were searching for someone?' Rukia asked still with a stern expression on.
'For my master…' I whispered once more and kept staring at my hand, imagining I could just reach out for that distant image of his smile.
But it just wasn't anywhere near me. The warmth of his kindness was so far away. The fear to never see it again tore me apart.
Orihime looked at me, her eyes filled with concern and sadness.
I smiled at her to comfort her, 'What an earnest smile. You seem to be a very kind person.'
For a second she was surprised, but then her face got sadder again.
She feels bad for me, a stranger. What an innocent pure soul.
'For how long have you been searching?' Ichigo asked.
I looked back up 'I don't know… I've been walking for so long… I've lost my sense of time… It could have been months… or years…'
Shocked Ichigo shouted, 'Years!?'
I nodded and weakly smiled at the bitter truth 'It has been so long since I talked with someone… maybe it is better to not know how long I was walking.'
'Why have you been searching your master? Did you both get separated after death?' Orihime asked hesitantly. She was so cautious of not saying anything that could hurt me.
I smiled at her 'No, nothing like that.
The last time I saw my master, we were out to investigate something…
[At that time]
'Have you packed everything Kyo-chan? We'll have to get going or we won't be back on time.'
'Hai! I've everything you requested Goshujin-sama!' I smiled excitedly.
'Alright, then let us go before my vice-captain notices that I'm taking some days off.' He laughs and runs off.
'G-goshujin-sama-!?' I quickly follow him.
We walk until the sky above our heads turns pitch black.
It seems like he wants to quickly reach this special place he told me about.
It will help him with his work, so he told me. That means I have to give my best to assist him on this trip!
We stop in the middle of a forest to gather enough energy for the next day.
He sits down on the ground leaning against a large tree of which there are plenty more surrounding us.
'I've to protect him while he rests.' I tell myself and determinedly look out into the lurking darkness.
As he notices that I'm still standing, ready to encounter an attack at any second, he sighs and looks up at me.
'Kyo-chan, you should rest as well you know?' He smiles.
I turn around, 'But what if someone attacks us? I need to protect Goshujin-sama.'
He chuckles weakly 'I'm a little bit strong you know?'
Surprised I blink at him, 'I-I didn't mean it like that! I know that Goshujin-sama is strong. He's the strongest person I know!' I said as if I had to protect his pride.
He chuckles once more 'I wonder why you sound like you are lying.'
'Goshujin-sama… is really the strongest person I know…' I tilt my face a little to the ground.
He smiles again 'Come a little closer Kyo-chan.'
'Do you need something master?' I walk up to him, but without answering me, he suddenly pulls me down into his arms. I blush lightly.
Go-goshujin-sama…?
With a gentle smile he looks at me as I try to face him.
'You will catch a cold if you don't take care.' He says with his kind voice.
'Goshujin-sama…' I whisper.
He holds me tight between his legs, embraced in his warm and protective arms.
My heart is racing, but instead of feeling embarrassed, I feel lucky and at ease.
Just being like this with Goshujin-sama… it feels like a dream…
Without noticing it I fall asleep…
'Hey! Wake up!' I hear my master's enthusiastic voice and slowly open my eyes.
Before I can even look at him, I immediately notice his jacket on my body just like a blanket.
'Goshujin-sama, your jacket! You will catch a cold!' I say and quickly stand up to give it back to him.
He sighs with a smile on his face 'What a shame. It really was nice watching you sleep so peacefully.'
I blush again at his words and bow as I hand him his jacket 'I'm sorry to have troubled you master.'
He smiles happily and pats my head, 'What? What? Not at all, it's really nice to have someone so energetic accompanying me for this investigation. How about we leave now?'
I look up at him in surprise. A bright smile appeared on my face 'Hai!'
We had been walking for some days and after he finished his investigations we could finally return.
But on our way back we suddenly got attacked…
I look behind me in shock 'Goshujin-sama!?'
He gets launched into a tree by one of the bandits' wind-kicks.
Goshujin-sama looks up and confidently smiles at our opponents 'Don't worry Kyo-chan, I'm fine.' He stands up and wipes off the dirt from his clothes.
'My, my, I haven't expected such a powerful kick. You're really strong.' He keeps smiling.
Suddenly one of the bandits grabs me, 'Stop joking around! Give us your money and we may give you back this woman unharmed!'
I bite onto my lip as he squashes my wrist in his giant hand and starts laughing.
Goshujin-sama's expression gets gloomier, 'Sadly I don't have any money with me. I'd appreciate it if you let her down though.' He friendly smiled at them.
'Are you kidding us!? We know that you are a captain from Seireitei!' The bandit pointed at my master's uniform, the sweet taste of greed foaming in his mouth 'So hand over some money now or this woman will get all of her bones squashed!' He holds me enclosed in his giant fist and laughs blinded by the exceeding adrenaline rushing through his head.
Master's face is tilted to the ground, he walks some steps towards the two bandits, as he looks up a fierce glance glimmers in his eyes, 'I'll repeat myself one last time. Let go of her.'
'It's the first time I see Goshujin-sama like this…' I think as I feel the air around us tensing.
Overwhelmed by his strong reiatsu I notice the bandit's hand loosening around me.
Goshujin-sama slowly walks closer to them, pulling out his sword.
'Goshujin-sama…' His reiatsu is so different from his usual one.
The bandits suddenly burst out into loud laughter.
Unimpressed Goshujin-sama stares at them 'hn?'
The bandits smirk 'Just how lucky we are, to have a newly promoted captain here. It'll be so easy to eat your souls!'
Observantly he kept looking at both with their wide smirks on their lips.
'Haven't you noticed yet Shinigami?' A white texture encloses their bodies and an even stronger reiatsu than of my master is wildly streaming around them. No… This can't be-!
'Hollows!?' I stare at the bandits.
Goshujin-sama firmly grabs his sword and smiles, 'My, my, seems like I've been really underestimating you.'
Startled I stare at the bandits as they growl like wild beasts and seemed to have lost any form of a man's intelligence.
It's my first time seeing such giant hollows! How did they get here without anyone noticing it!?
Just then I realize that my master is in great danger. He has to run! They are too strong, even for him!
'Goshujin-sama, please run! I'll handle them!' I try to keep my calm and not let him see that I'm afraid.
My master friendly smiles at me, 'Warui na. I can't let you fight them when I'm a captain, can I?'
He chuckles and scratches the back of his head, 'Maa, I hope I won't get eaten.'
The hollows start growling once more, even louder than before, tearing the trees apart around us.
Then the hollow suddenly lifts the hand I am squashed in trying to get free. Goshujin-sama quickly reacts and before I am thrown onto the ground with all of the hollow's might, I find myself lying in my Master's arms.
He smiles at me, 'Are you alright Kyo-chan?'
His sleeve got ripped off and there is a deep cut in his right arm. Just then I realized that the 2nd Hollow had attacked him as well.
It's my fault. It's my fault he got that wound. If he'd dodged that attack, it would have hit me instead. It's my fault that Goshujin-sama tried to save me…
I stare at him with big regretful eyes.
He knows what I am thinking and gently smiles at me once more, putting me carefully down behind him, 'Don't worry, Kyo-chan. I already told you I'm a little strong, remember? Haha' His expression turns a little more serious 'Stay here and don't move.'
He stands in front of the Hollows, ready for the next attack and there it comes from both sides.
The Hollows are violently trying to smash him with their heavy fists.
The sheer force of those movements tore the plants and trees around them out of the ground.
'Goshujin-sama…' I narrow my eyes in concern. Though we get attacked by such strong opponents he's still smiling.
Though they are so much more stronger than him, he has certainly been able to dodge their attacks thanks to his elaborated high speed level.
But it's not just that... the way his reiatsu isn't even wavering in front of these hollows...
his soul is so much more powerful than his sword's blade. I wonder… if you realize that, Goshujin-sama…
My body has stopped shaking and I can observe our current situation with a calm mind.
My master is strong, I believe in his power, but… after we were walking for so long, without enough rest… and then those hollows are on a total different level than the usual ones.
They could suppress their reiatsu, so even we wouldn't notice them.
Is he really alright fighting against such strong hollows on his own?
As if the universe wanted to give me an answer, my master gets thrown against the trees behind me, just like an insect. Shocked I run off to him, helping him to sit up; however my eyes are focused on the unharmed hollows not allowing any motions of theirs to be unseen..
'Kyo-chan', I hear my master's voice calling out my name in its weak condition.
'Goshujin-sama…' My eyes widen as I see him wounded like this for the first time. His clothes are nowhere to look like they did before the fight. His voice sounds as if he can barely breathe through his lungs.
He smiles at me with his face full of scratches, 'I'm…fine. Don't worry Kyo-chan…'
Goshujin-sama…
I silently stand up with my head facing the ground.
Puzzled my master stares at me, 'Kyo-chan…?'
As I take out my sword, he shouts out to me with his face reflecting concern beneath his wounds, 'Kyo-chan stop!'
These enemies are way too strong for me to take on.
And as hard as I tried to hide my fears, he knew that this wasn't a fight I could handle on my own.
He wants to stop me, but his body remains uncooperative to what he wants.
The atmosphere changes at once and the hollows step back, a little irritated they stare at me.
'Her reiatsu is increasing rapidly-!' My master thinks and desperately tries to move to stop what was going to happen.
White reiatsu starts to stream out of my body; I look up at the hollows. My eyes gleam white.
I tightly hold onto my sword, almost breaking its grip. My master speechlessly stares at me before he glances at the dull turning blade of his own sword.
'Kyo-chan…'
I glare at the Hollows with the pure instinct to kill; sanity was wiped off of my mind.
The Hollows run towards me in a speed that made them almost invisible to the normal eye.
'Don't do it!' He screams from the bottom of his lungs.
But my mind fell into a place, too far away for his voice to reach, too deep to climb out of.
The hollows appear on both of my sides, raising their fist to smash me into the ground.
With both of their obscure forces they leave a huge hole engraved into the crippling ground.
Fragments of stone and earth in formless shapes and alarming sizes fly through the air and rain down on the three.
Shocked the hollows stand still as they notice that that is all they did.
They successfully smashed their fists into the ground, but just the ground it was.
Angered to not find a puddle of blood where they attacked they try to quickly locate my reiatsu.
Being a step ahead of those masses of brainless strength, my master looks up, 'Her speed has increased as well!'
Finally, the hollows realize that I am standing above their heads and launch their gigantic fists towards me.
My master closely watches me, holding onto his wounded arm.
Again, these enormous creatures roar loud enough to bend the tips of the trees behind me.
But I stand still, unaffected, letting their fists get ever so close.
The hollows suddenly start levitating from the cracked ground I now once more set foot on.
Their arms, like finely sliced meat, fall down beside me.
Perplex my master stares at them.
The hollows let out another awful yet weakened roar.
My master turns his gaze towards me and looks at the empty eyes, which stare right back at him.
Without saying a single word or showing any sort of reaction on my face, I turn around and draw eight lines into the air with the tip of my sword, creating two little red squares.
I lightly touch it with my index finger and blast it towards the defenseless hollows before me.
The squares run right through them, their paralyzed bodies instantly bursting out into flames as they hit the ground again.
From the strong wild beasts, these creatures' mighty roars have become nothing but pitiful little screams, soaked in the pain of their melting bodies.
I walk closer to the piles of burning meat, until their suffering faces are reflected in my glassy eyes.
For one last time I tightly hold onto my sword and gracefully slice them into tiny little pieces, so that it's impossible to tell which piece once was a head and which were its limbs.
After nothing else was left of the two hollows, I turn around to my master.
Before I can even take one step, my body comes to a halt.
Still too perplex to register shock on his face, my master watches as my eyes widen and their color turns back to yellow, while the white reiatsu surrounding me vanishes.
Along with the strength that held me up.
'Kyo-chan!' My master hurries over to me as my body motionlessly drops to the ground.
I could glance at his worried looking face for one last time, before my eyes were forced to close with exhaustion spreading through my whole body...
I can't tell if it was a dream or not, but I saw him smiling…
He smiled at me… saying 'Good Bye'…
As I regained consciousness he and my sword were gone… I immediately started panicking…
I don't know what happened to him… if Hollows had attacked him again while I wasn't awake…
I was all by myself at once…
Since my birth, Goshujin-sama was always with me… He protected me… taught me… Without his warm hands holding me, I was so desperate, not knowing what to do… so I kept on walking and praying for his safety, hoping to meet him eventually….
If I kept on walking… I'd find him… At least that's what I told myself.
He would come back… someday he would come back and I would see that gentle smile again… his voice filled with kindness, calling out my name… '
The smile I had on broke and the sadness I kept inside my heart was shown on my face.
Tears built up in my eyes as the memories of that tragic day replayed in my mind.
'Once more… before I die, I, just once more, wanted to see his smile and hear him call my name… before the feelings inside my heart would fade with me out there, without anyone noticing them. I just wanted to feel a little of that warmth again…'
Orihime's eyes got teary as well, 'Hanekyo-san…'
I smiled sadly, 'So you see… I'm grateful you saved me, but… if I keep on walking again, until I collapse and die by myself… I wonder if I can still… keep up these hopes… '
More tears gathered inside my eyes and dropped down one by one.
Orihime broke the barrier-like healing process and hugged me at once, whispering 'Hanekyo-san… I'll help you find him!'
Surprised I looked at her, 'Orihime-san…'
A cheerful grin swayed on Ichigo's face, 'We'll find your master in no time!' he signaled me assuringly with a thumbs up.
Rukia looked down building fists 'This is nonsense…' She mumbled still clear enough for us to understand.
I looked at her with sad eyes, 'I'm sorr-'
Before I could finish my sentence Ichigo interrupted me 'How can you call someone's feelings nonsense!?'
Rukia looked down, ignoring him. It seemed as if she was thinking about something in her past. Perhaps she had very well experienced a smilair situation to mine and perhaps...
It had ended as hopeless as mine too.
Trusting my instinct I closed my eyes as I quietly began to speak, 'You're right. They are nonsense.' A timid smile rested on my lips, the sadness seemingly wiped away by the feeling of sympathy for this person's pain.
'Hn?' Rukia stared at me with her confident expression that might lead one to think of her as cold, but behind those strong eyes she had various emotions hidden which she had yet not shown any one.
I sat up and took her hand into mine with a gentle smile, 'I'd like to believe that the strong feelings we keep for a person only exist as long as we can carry them inside ourselves, no matter if human or Shinigami, as long as these feelings connect our hearts, it doesn't matter if they make sense to anyone, even if they don't make sense to yourself. Don't you think so, Kuchiki-san?'
Rukia's eyes widen, 'H-Hanekyo-san…!'
I smiled at her once more, but she avoided my eyes and looked down again.
Though she still seemed distant, I felt that my words had reached her.
Orihime and Ichigo smiled at me.
Suddenly a male voice from outside called out, 'Oi! Kurosaki!'
'Abarai-san.' Orihime stood up and looked at Ichigo. He sighed and went outside, 'What's with that guy, seriously!'
I let go of Rukia's hand and watch Ichigo leave, 'Is that your comrade?' I asked wondered.
Rukia slightly shook her head and stared at me with the same serious expression she had before, 'Since you woke up now I will have to ask you some questions, but not here. Can you stand already?'
I slowly tried to stand up; Orihime instinctively helped me, 'Let me help you, Hanekyo-san.'
Again surprised by her kindness I thanked her with a smile, 'You're really kind-hearted. Thank you. '
She happily smiled back at me.
Rukia tried to smile as well, but the seconds she just gave in thinking about her past, seemed to make her suffer a lot.
We left the room and strangely the place I saw around me was a little familiar.
Rukia walked in front of us and we quietly followed her.
Orihime still held my arm around her shoulder, so I wouldn't fall over.
'Seireitei…' I whispered glancing at my surroundings.
Rukia stood still at once and deeply bowed down, 'Ukitake taichou! Good afternoon!'
Before Rukia was standing a tall and slender man. His complexion was as pale as mine and we both had snow-white hair, though his was much longer than mine.
He gave Rukia a warm smile and greeted her back.
Then he noticed me and Orihime and looked a little surprised.
Perplex I just stared as surprised back at him.
'Is that the unknown soul you found Kuchiki-san?' He asked, still his eyes fixed on me.
Insecurely I bowed as well, not knowing what else to do 'Excuse me my rudeness. I'm Hanekyo. It's an honor to meet the captain of the 13th division!'
Ukitake gently smiled at me, 'What a polite choice of words from such a young woman. Please let me introduce myself, I'm the captain of the 13th division, Jushiro Ukitake.'
His smile remembered me of Goshujin-sama's, so delightful and gentle; Creating such a peaceful aura around him.
I smiled back and bowed once more, 'I'll humbly accept your kind words. I'm sorry to have taken your time Ukitake taichou.'
He smiled at us, 'Not at all, I was going to get you and Kuchiki-san now anyways.'
Rukia's eyes widen at the words of the white-haired man, 'You'll hold the investigation? Are you sure you feel fit enough taichou?'
Her voice sounded so concerned, different than the distant one from before.
I had to smile as I thought how nice it was to see her at ease for once.
Ukitake looked at Rukia for a moment, 'Don't worry, I feel really great today and since the unknown soul seems to be a really well-mannered woman, I'm sure that we will be able to have a nice little chat together!' He turned his smile back at me.
Feeling a little embarrassed I looked down to avoid his eyes.
Rukia tilted her head back to look at me and smiled a little, 'hai.'
Ukitake lead us through their division.
While Rukia stood beside him, apparently unconvinced of his recklessness when it comes to his health; Orihime and I were some steps further behind them.
Amazed by the Shinigamis we walked pass by and the beautiful garden we had reached, my eyes didn't now what to focus on. There was so much I had never seen before, so much that the previous feeling of familiarity had completely faded.
Together we entered a large room in what might have been a wooden mansion judging by its size.
Just like the whole building, this big room had not disappointed to amaze me, but I couldn't stop myself from thinking how surprisingly empty it was.
There were only green cushions placed on the ground, one in the middle of the room, two on the side laying one arm-length apart from each other and lastly the cushion before the one in the middle, further away from the others.
You could easily tell where the four of us where supposed to sit.
It felt as if the only purpose of this room was to offer a closed space for them to ask some questions to the 'recently found soul', as Ukitake-san had called me.
Ukitake-san lead us inside and closed the shoji door behind him.
Just as I thought, Rukia and Orihime sat on the side, me in the middle and the captain in front of me.
Two figures suddenly appeared at the entrance of the room, a guy and a girl. Both glaring at me with such frightful eyes
'They must be his guards.' I thought, lightly frowning as I couldn't help but feel their strict gazes piercing right through me.
Judging from my position you could tell that I felt a little uncomfortable; I was sitting on my knees with my face held down.
'Is something wrong?' Ukitake asked friendly.
I looked up at him with an apologetic look on my face 'I'm deeply sorry. I've been wandering around for a very long while now and I'm not used to such strong reiatsus anymore… it is a little exhausting… I'm sorry; please let me try to bear it quietly.'
Ukitake shook his head, 'There's no need for that. We will suppress our reiatsu for the time being. I don't want to harm a new visitor of our town' He smiled again.
I bowed my head a little, 'Thank you for your kindness, Ukitake taichou.'
The guards jumped up not approving of that idea 'Wait taichou! What if she's dangerous!?'
I instantly interrupted them and smiled at the two with a insecure look, 'If it helps you to feel safer, you could built a barrier around me during the investigation.'
Ukitake nodded agreeing and built a barrier around me, 'Let us start then.'
'Hai.' Rukia said, watching me carefully.
Ukitake looked at me with a neutral expression on his face, 'So, first of all, I'd like you to introduce yourself.'
I nodded, 'Hai, my name is Hanekyo. Thanks to my lost sense of time, I don't know how old I am and can't tell how long it has been, since I've been walking around by myself, but I can assume that it has been years. I don't have any special ranks. My reiatsu is ordinary. I don't have a home, friends or family… I don't have opponents; I don't have any knowledge about this world since I've been living isolated.'
'I see.' He seemed to go through what I said in his mind.
Rukia raised her voice to speak up, 'Are these information referring to your whole life until now? '
'No. As far as I can remember, I've known a single person beside myself. He was my master. We lived together and he taught me how to live. Then he was gone, and I was left in a distant forest, so I couldn't find the way back home. Since then I've been wandering around and eventually collapsed here.'
Just with the 3, mentioning my master seemed to have piqued Ukitake's interest, 'Can you remember where you've been living with your master?'
'Hai…' I looked down, my eyes glimmering sorrowful again.
Ukitake carefully observed my sudden change of expressions.
I took a deep breath and stared at my hands, which were pulling onto the fabric over my knees, 'Goshujin-sama and I lived in… Seireitei.'
'What…?' Rukia's eyes sprung wide open, so did those of the others.
Ukitake got back to his calm being, 'What do you mean by that? Have you been in a squad?'
I still stared at my hands, feeling the painful sting inside my chest, while I tried to remember the faint memories of an unreachable past, 'No… I'm not really sure what I was… I've been always by the side of my master. I never talked with others. No one really noticed me. '
Ukitake seemed puzzled as he had assumed I would be just a wandering soul that got lost.
He couldn't remember having ever seen me in Seireitei.
Suddenly something came up to Rukia's mind and before the next question could be asked she looked at me, insecurely, 'Wait. As you told us about your master before… his vice lieutenant … this means-! Your… your master was one of the captains of the 13 Gotei!' Surprised from her own words she stared at me, completely speechless.
I kept my head down and timidly whispered, 'Hai…'
Again everyone was silently looking at me with their eyes wide opened.
Ukitake was slightly concerned to hear about the involvement of a captain in this matter, 'Do you perhaps remember his name?'
I got surprised by that question but tried to hide it the next second. I looked beside me on the ground, trying to avoid the eyes, which now were unable to look into mine.
'N-no…' I whispered.
Ukitake could feel the uneasiness inside my heart; He frowned and watched me for a while, until he finally spoke up again.
'Everyone please leave the room, I'll finish this investigation by myself.'
Wondered I looked up at Ukitake.
'WHAT!?' His guards were again very unhappy, still this time Ukitake was not going to allow any sort of protest.
Rukia seemed bothered by this idea as well, but she wouldn't say anything against her captain's decisions, so she just stood up and looked at her side to Orihime.
'Don't worry. We will wait for her with Ichigo.' She smiled at Orihime, who was looking concerned as well, but not about the captain. She was worrying about me.
They left the room, leaving me and Ukitake alone.
He smiled at me, still frowning a little 'I'm sorry. I thought you might feel more comfortable to talk if we are alone. I hope this is okay with you?'
I continued to avoid his eyes, 'h-hai… '
He tried to smile again to lighten the oppressive atmosphere, 'So, to come back to my question. Can you remember his name?'
'No…' I knew he could easily tell I was lying. My voice was shaking so much and I couldn't do more than whisper. My heart felt uneasy to lie as well.
At once the barrier around me just shattered. Surprised I looked up at the white-haired man.
He had a gentle smile on with no hint of anger or such, even though I hadn't honestly answered his question.
As soon as I realized that our eyes met, I returned my gaze back at the ground.
'May I ask then, why it is that you can't tell me his name?' He still stood calm and kept his gentle smile.
I lightly lifted my head, 'I don't want to put him into danger…'
'I see.' His voice sounded so understanding. Still I knew that at one point even he would stop being so caring and patient with me.
My hands pulled tighter onto my knees, 'The truth is… after he was gone… I tried to get back to Seireitei and as I finally had returned… he was no longer here… I sneaked in and searched for his reiatsu, but… I couldn't feel it…
I wasn't sure if he was out for another investigation, but… I couldn't wait for him… I knew that he kept me hidden on purpose… and I knew that if he really was out investigating, I'd at least feel a little of his reiatsu… but he was completely gone…
Knowing it was hopeless I started wandering again, still wishing more than anything else to find him… '
Ukitake closed his eyes, 'Wakatta.' He got up and walked up to me.
I kept looking down as he stood right before me, knowing that I wasn't capable of hiding the misery I now felt again.
He suddenly kneed down and held my face against his shoulder, patting my back.
'I thank you a lot for your earnest answers.' His voice was really gentle. It felt as if it was Goshujin-sama enclosing me in his warmth.
My heart was still beating in a different rhythm, caused by the truth I tried to so desperately ignore.
He lightly patted my back, 'To take off some of the burdens on your shoulders, I'll keep everything you said from the moment the others left to myself. I trust that you are a good person and that you won't harm us, just like I will not harm you, so please try to erase your fears, Hanekyo-san. 'He pulled me back a little and smiled at me.
'Arigatou…' I whispered, grateful for his understanding.
He embraced me, feeling the fragile heart of mine, easy to break like the one of a child, without any warmth of a single soul around me, just being held in someone's arms already made such an impact on my heart. He was aware of all that and tried to comfort me.
After a while, he broke the silence swaying around us, 'Can I ask you some more questions?'
His voice didn't sound demanding, it was a sincere question, being kind enough to consider my feelings.
I wasn't sure why, but I felt like I could trust him. Maybe because his kind-nature was so much like…my master's… I don't know if all souls, Shinigamis and humans were like this. Were they all this kind?
I nodded at Ukitake's question.
He still held me to give courage to my weeping heart, 'Could it be that your master's name is… ?' His voice got a little more serious as he spoke the name of the former captain.
For a second I felt a deep sting inside my chest, just for it to melt into ruthless regret moments later, gradually spreading all over my body.
I nodded hesitantly, 'hai, my master is...' My heart started aching again as I spoke out my master's name.
It wasn't the first time in all these years… my soul had been desperately calling him almost every day… but he just wasn't there…
Ukitake gave me some time in-between his questions, as he was aware that all of this was emotionally draining me.
'Do you perhaps know why he hid you?'
'No…'
'Do you know what happened to him?'
'No…'
'What are you going to do once you find him?'
'I… want to protect him… and stay by his side…'
'Hanekyo-san…' The atmosphere got tenser and I looked straight at Ukitake.
He frowned, as if it was really hurting him to say what he was about to say.
Puzzled by this unexpected change of expressions I waited for him to speak up.
'Your master was…' He took a deep breath, 'He was wrongly accused to have investigated hollowfication and to have used his comrades as test subjects. However before he could get his punishment he escaped into the human world, forbidden to ever return… but… Hanekyo-san… this incident… it happened 101 years ago…' He looked at me with purely sad eyes.
'O-one hundred and one years-!?' Completely speechless, nearly frightened, I stared at him, not knowing how to feel or what to say.
Ukitake was still talking to me, but I couldn't hear him.
The world around me had suddenly fallen dead silent. The only sound reaching my ears was my heavy heartbeat. Even my sight seemed to grow blurry.
My mind seemed to drastically heat up, thoughts crushing in and running aimlessly through the chaos that had finally outbroken inside me.
He wasn't here… He wasn't here… I've… I've been wandering to find him for over 100 years… I… would have never found him… he… he… he was in danger… and I couldn't help him…!
My body started shaking again. Ukitake looked at me with apologetic eyes, 'I'm sorry you had to learn it this way… Do you want to lie down again or drink something?'
My face suddenly dropped onto the ground and I curled up, staying silent.
Ukitake's heart was feeling heavy from seeing a young woman suffering like this. He stood up and slowly walked to the shoji door.
He turned back to look at me with a compassionate expression, 'You are allowed to stay in here until tomorrow… if you want to talk to me, just notify the guards and I'll come…'
He didn't expect me to answer him.
He could understand how terrible I must have felt to suddenly hear about all of this.
Silently he left the room and outside his two guards were already waiting.
Rukia, Orihime and Ichigo were sitting in the garden around the building, enjoying the nice weather.
As they noticed Ukitake, they hurried over to him, curious where he had left me and also anxious about the investigation's results.
With a concerned look Rukia took a step towards her captain, 'Ukitake taichou, I'm surprisedter you've already finished the investigations. Are you not feeling well after all? Is the recently found soul still in that room?'
As is if to say that her captain could just let her handle the rest, Rukia striked a strong pose and waited for his response.
Ukitake who had accepted his vice lieutenant's help many of times, didn't find it necessary for her to try to proof her strength, he was already very well aware of it.
He knew that he could rely on Rukia, she was loyal and she did follow orders.
But she was young and inexperienced, making her vulnerable for emotional conflicts, even more so since she tries to be like her older brother and just denies that weakness of hers.
It would be better if she learned to accept it though.
After all she wasn't her brother and feelings can be a source of greater strength as well.
That's what Ukitake thought.
Rukia respected him, but he knew that she wouldn't accept his advice just like that, at least she might not understand it at first.
With a wry smile the white-haired captain tried to hold back a badly timed coughing fit and chuckled at the 3 children before him, 'Not at all! I'm feeling the healthiest since weeks!'
Rukia narrowed her eyes, noticing the hopeless attempts of her captain and mumbled to herself, 'I see.'
'Regarding the soul...' His voice was more serious now, to the 3 friends' surprise.
Before his pale face could reveal his concern, Orihime, Ichigo and Rukia had already figured out that there was a greater matter behind this unknown soul's appearance.
A girl, who secretly lived inside Seireitei, along with a captain of the gotei 13 and then that captain abandons her somewhere far far away.
Nothing about this seemed normal, yet to be promising any good.
Rukia had already her own ideas of what hid behind all of this, or rather which man was to blame.
A captain who would be reckless enough to have a girl hidden at his side, someone cold-hearted enough to leave her behind in an unknown place, weaponless... There was only one man she thought to be capable of such crimes.
'Aizen... It's Aizen, isn't it!?' Rukia thought her body tensing up as she closely stared at her captain's lips, ready to bear the heavy news. She would show no sign of shock.
If that soul had something to do with Aizen, Rukia told herself that she would be the first to run into that room and get as many informations out of her as possible.
It had not been too long since that gruesome man had betrayed them all.
The timing would be just too perfect.
Orihime folded her hands to push back her anxiety and held them up to her chest, 'Hanekyo-chan...'
Ukitake tilted his head back to the room he head left me in, remembering that posture of pure distress, 'I'm glad you immediately brought her to me. For now please do not mention her in front of anyone else.'
'W-why? Did Hanekyo-chan do something bad?' Orihime asked, forgetting about her own nervosity for a second.
Ukitake gave the young girl a warm smile and gently shook his head, long white strains of hair accentuating these small movements, 'I can not assure you if she did anything wrong or not, but from what I saw, she seems like a good person. There are just some things around her past whereabouts and master that might cause her difficulties if we don't handle this matter carefully.' He looked down, a strange sense of insecurity shimmering in his brown eyes.
'It's a really difficult situation...' He spoke in such a soft tone that the 3 before him barely understood him.
Rukia glared at the ground as the urge to hear that name seemed to keep growing.
Convinced of her own idea, she looked up at her captain.
'Ukitake taichou! I know I'm in no position to have acces to your investigations, but please tell me, who is that soul's master!?' Rukia stood straight, trying to show politness with her body, as her actions had been completely lacking it.
In her mind, she was conflicted to make demands to a captain, but she yearned for confirmation. Was she right? Was it really him? Could this just be a trick of that distasteful man? She needed to know! If not for Aizen, who else could have brought such worry to her usually calm taichou!?
Ukitake stared at the black-haired shinigami, in silence he took a long glance at her strong expression and then turned to the others as well, 'I have to trust that you won't tell anyone about her master either, for Hanekyo-san's sake.'
'I won't.' Ichigo said with a reassuring and Orihime followed his example and looked at Ukitake with her round sincere eyes, 'I won't tell anyone!'
Lastly Rukia nodded as well, 'If Ukitake taichou things that that's the right thing to do, I will not tell anyone as well.'
The white-haired smiled at them, lightly coughing into his fist as the cold afternoon wind started to swirl through the gardens of the 13th division, 'Hanekyo-san's master is someone you three should already know, especially you Kurosaki-san.' He turned to Ichigo, his smile seemingly not vanishing this time, as if the worries Rukia saw inside his eyes had been completely wiped away.
Surprised she blinked at her friend, not understanding what her captain was hinting at, 'Kurosaki...?'
'Me?' Ichigo asked just as surprised.
Ukitake continued to explain to the 3 friends, the reason why it was crucial to keep Hanekyo's existence a secret, at least for now, 'Yes. I would go as far as to say that out of everyone in soul society, you know the most about her present master. That's why I will need you to tell me everything you know about this man, so I can determine our further actions. Can I rely on your help, Kurosaki?'
Perplex Ichigo listened to the suddenly serious request of the white-haired captain, nodded then with a confident glare, 'Sure, I will help you.' He thought back to the moment I told them about the last time I saw my master, 'If it's someone I know... maybe we can really help her to find him? So, who... who is this guy?' He pulls himself out of his thoughts as Ukitake seemed to continue and finally finish the grand revelation.
The gentle smile once more left the white-haired captain's face and with such unusual neutrality he looked at them as he spoke the unexpected name of a man they all knew too well, 'Hanekyo-san's master is... Urahara Kisuke.'
- End Chapter I: Awake -
*Goshujin-sama ("Master")
**doko e? (here: "Where did you...?")