Author's notes: This was for the SolAngelo anthology but they haven't posted it yet so I'm posting it up.
L'angelo Sel Sole Della Mia Vita
by Live Don't Just Exist
The thing about being a fourth year medical student dating an independent artist, was that, despite renting out a flat and a small studio together, Nico and Will rarely got to see each other.
Still, though, Will always made an effort to make it work between them. Nico was important to him, he loved him, permanent emo-phase, stunted communication and all. He'd figured it out, around their second year anniversary, that Nico was maybe, probably, The One for him, that this relationship was it for him. And he knew that some people still doubted them lasting, the few who found out that they were nearly on their five year anniversary were always surprised, and he really couldn't blame them for that, since he and Nico were as different as day and night.
But that was exactly what made them work, the fact that they filled up the missing spaces in each other.
And they weren't really all that different, on the outside maybe, yeah, on the personality more so. But when it comes to favorite television shows and movies, they connected in a level other people couldn't. They could also talk to each other about their respective classes and jobs, Nico had some interest on Will's studies, especially on human anatomy for his art, and Will loved it when his boyfriend got into rants about the best quality of paints to be bought at a cheap price and whether charcoal was better than water color and why.
No else understood how they worked, but what was important was that they did.
At least, they did before.
Will pursed his lips as he poked at a stray pea on his plate. He looked up at the kitchen digital clock, sighing internally when the digits flashed a big red 11:23 pm at him. He'd been home for several hours now, excusing himself earlier from his internship just so he could spend the day with Nico. They hadn't sat down on a meal together for two weeks and Will missed it. Missed him.
But to Will's surprise, Nico wasn't in their flat, nor was he in his studio, which was where he'd been cooped up in for the past two weeks, busy for his upcoming gallery. The blond had tried to call his boyfriend, to let him know he was home, but it all went straight to voice mail and his texts remained unanswered.
Will's shoulders slumped in defeat when the digital clock beeped to midnight. He could only play with his food for so long. He stood up and cleaned up his dishes, putting Nico's unused one back in the cabinet while placing his own in the dishwasher. He carefully wrapped the remaining food in foil and stuck it into fridge, writing on the notepad pinned to the fridge door about 'heating up dinner' and forgoing his usual smiley face sign. He headed to their room, to crawl dejectedly into their bed.
Alone.
"Sorry." A voice murmured when Will was jostled on his side of the bed. The blond blinked sleepily and watched in a surprised daze as Nico crawled under the blankets. Over his boyfriend's shoulder, the red digits of 3:04 am mocked him. Will's arms twitched with the need to reach out and hold the other close- but he knew how Nico hated cuddling when he was tired, feeling that it was too constricting. Will had to wait for a few hours after Nico was asleep before he could drag him in his arms and never let go. It didn't count as cuddling if his boyfriend was unconscious.
Will flinched when he felt Nico's cold fingers trail down his cheek fondly. Blue eyes met dark ones and Nico smiled at him tiredly, "Sorry for waking you.' He whispered and Will felt his heart ache in fondness, "Have you been home for long?"
Oh right, Nico didn't know that he took an early day off. Will shook his head, "No." He lied and smiled with a touch of sadness, "Not long at all."
The answering smile on Nico's face was worth the hours of waiting alone on their kitchen table with a plate of too cold peas.
In the coming days though, the distance and absences just got worse. When Will woke up, Nico was usually still asleep or sometimes not even there anymore, since he had to rush some of his paintings, what with the gallery opening only a few weeks away. Every time Will came back to their flat, Nico was almost always never there. Usually he'd be in his studio, refusing anyone inside, so the blond had to leave his dinner outside, or else Nico'd be at some fancy meeting at the next town over with his promoters and a few of his father's artist friends. Nico never really fancied socializing but he knew how important it was for his exhibition, so he put up with it anyway.
Will had to put up with it too.
The blond didn't think it could get any worse, but of course, it did.
"This is Percy Jackson." Nico introduced a handsome dark-haired, green-eyed young man to Will during one rare time that Nico was in their flat before Will. "He's the agent who made my exhibition possible." There was a small, rare smile on Nico's face that made something cold drop into Will's stomach.
Percy laughed. He had a nice laugh, Will thought distantly as he automatically shook the other's hand. His hand felt clammy and small in Percy's strong, firm grip. "Nah, it's all on Nico. Kid's got talent." He placed an arm around the brunet who huffed in annoyance but didn't shrug off the contact.
The sinking feeling didn't leave him for the rest of the day.
"You don't look good." Cecil bumped Will's shoulder as they made their way to the hospital's stock room to do inventory. The blond stumbled a bit but he gave his best friend a small smile.
"If I look bad, you should see Nico." Will joked, but it was half-hearted at best. Cecil noticed, "He has these dark circles under his eyes that makes you wonder if he's wearing eyeliner or not."
Cecil looked like he wanted to ask if his unspoken trouble had something to do with Nico but Will just shook his head. Being the good friend that he is, the younger man rolled his eyes and asked instead, "So, how's Nico's gallery exhibition coming along?"
Will wondered if maybe it was better if Cecil asked his first question instead.
Nico hadn't come to bed for the past three nights. When Will came out in the morning, there would be a tell-tale mess on the sofa that showed that Nico had been sleeping there for the past few nights instead of beside him. Even though Nico claimed to be doing it only because he was too tired to crawl back to their bed, which was twice as far as the sofa; the heavy, cold feeling in his stomach had become a constant companion to him now.
Still, Will had exams to worry about and he had to take care of Nico, even if they hadn't really been acting like they're in a relationship for a while now. His boyfriend was spending more time with Percy than with him- but of course, that probably didn't mean anything. He trusts Nico, he loves him. He knows Nico would tell him if he decided he liked someone else now.
(An indignant laugh by the living room made Will look up from his Biology notes. Nico was shaking his head at whatever Percy was telling him with an amused twinkle in his eyes. Percy was making crazy hand gestures, laughing at the other.)
Still, it didn't make it hurt any less or make his worry disappear.
"You're tired." Came a surprised voice in front of Will. The blond jerked back, caught off guard. He blinked several times before his eyes finally focused on Nico. He'd been reading his notes, losing focus on his surroundings, that he hadn't even noticed that Nico came out of his studio to get himself some dinner, which Will forgot to leave outside of his studio floor.
The blond jumped up, eyes snapping to the digital clock, "Oh crap, it's that late?" He ran a shaking and through his hair, "I'm sorry Nico, I should've brought you dinner an hour ago, I was just-"
"Will…" Nico put down his coffee mug, a frown on his face, as he stepped closer to the blond. "You look tired."
Will laughed nervously, moving back a bit at Nico's approach. "Yeah, you already said that."
"And I didn't notice." His boyfriend said with a frown. He looked tired too, having been working over his gallery for the past few months. Will's stomach churned in guilt, he should have taken better care of Nico. What if he collapsed because Will forgot to remind him to eat now and then? He was the worst boyfriend ever.
"It's fine, it's just the exams." Will assured him, shrugging off his concern before moving over to the fridge to warm up some leftover sandwiches he made during lunch. "Just sit back for a minute, okay? I'll have dinner microwaved in a few minutes. Sorry, I couldn't make anything better."
Nico frowned at him but sat down obediently. His dark eyes followed the blond around the kitchen, "You're never usually this tired over an exam."
Will refused to turn around as he answered, "Well, things have been a bit hectic lately, I've been losing focus so I'm not doing as well as I hoped in my classes. Which is why I'm working thrice as hard in studying, that's all. Once I ace my test, I'm taking a long weekend off."
Nico didn't say anything but his eyes followed Will the whole time, even when the blond finished reheating the sandwiches and retreated back to their- his bedroom.
"You're going to break down at this rate." Lou Ellen scolded him when she found him asleep at the EXIT stairwell of the hospital, a heavy volume on the nervous system on his lap as he dozed by the wall.
"I'll be fine." He grumbled.
A sad look came over her face as she kneeled next to the worn blond, "What's wrong, Will?"
The blond just shook his head. "Nothing's wrong."
Everything. Everything was wrong.
His studying wasn't doing him any good, whenever he'd quiz himself, he'd blank out, so in recompense he'd study even more, foregoing breakfast and a few times, dinner. He'd been sleeping alone in their bed for weeks now, no warm body to keep him grounded through the night and his sleep suffers for it.
And Nico had completely made himself scarce, what with his exhibition only two days away. The only tell-tale hints that he still lived in their flat was the occasional dirty plate in the sink whenever Will forgot to bring him dinner or breakfast. It made Will feel horrible. It made him doubt himself.
On the rare few times that he'd see Nico and been given a too-quick kiss from his artist boyfriend (he'd given up on starting affections around the second week when Nico threw paint at him from his distractions), Will would reach out and pull Nico close, even if only for a few seconds.
He was afraid of letting him go.
The day of the exhibition finally came. A day after Will's exams. Still, despite his worry on his results, this was Nico's big day and the blond shoved his worries away for the day, determined to be by his boyfriend's side for something this important.
At least that was his initial plan, but contrary to his belief, it was actually Percy who was by Nico's side most of the time, answering interviewers for Nico when the brunet was too annoyed to answer himself.
Meanwhile, Will was at the refreshments table, cradling a glass of lemon juice with slightly shaking hands.
"You look like you're about to faint." Hazel, Nico's half-sister, came into his sight, a worried frown on her face. "Are you okay?"
Will gave her a strained smile, "I'll be fine, exams you know."
Hazel's eyes narrowed, "And I bet you've been taking care of my brother too, since he'd probably been too busy painting to take care of himself." She sighed in fond exasperation, she placed a warm hand on Will's arm. "Thank you, by the way. I know Nico sometimes forgets to say that. He's a handful. He's lucky to have you."
I don't know if he'd want to have me for long. Will tried to blink back the burning he felt in his eyes. His exhaustion and lack of sleep making him emotionally out-of-whack. "I love him." He replied with a humble shrug, because he couldn't think of anything else to say. Because that's what you do for people you love.
Hazel nodded, "And he loves you."
Will just gave her an exhausted smile. Nico's sister opened her mouth, probably to say something more, but then she was whisked away by Percy, leaving Will alone to watch a few people coming down from the second floor exhibit, which was the main exhibit of the whole gallery. He hadn't gone up yet, since Nico told him to wait for him.
"You can clearly see what's important to him." One of the women coming from the second floor told her friend, an awed expression on her face.
Yeah, his art is really important to him. Will thought sadly, With these many people, he'll be a known artist in no time.
"Will?" A hesitant voice sounded next to him, a hand on his arm.
Will automatically put on a smile for his boyfriend, "Hey." He said and Nico looked at him patiently. When Will didn't seem to get the hint, the brunet huffed and trailed his fingers down the blond's arm and took Will's hand on his own, surprising the taller man.
Nico took in a deep breath, "Come on, let's head up. It's time for me to give some big speech for my potential buyers and fans."
Will knew he should say good luck or make a joke or something, but his mouth was oddly dry so he squeezed Nico's hand instead, hoping to express his comfort, hoping he could keep him beside him.
Hazel and her boyfriend, Frank, followed them up to the second floor exhibit. There was a sign at the top of the stairs, the title of the exhibition, or either the soon-to-be-seen centerpiece, in Italian, Nico's mother tongue.
L'angelo Sel Sole Della Mia Vita
"Oh Nico, it's lovely!" Hazel said walking ahead of them and dragging Frank with her. "It's so-" She seemed to be at a loss for words and Will couldn't blame her.
He, too, didn't seem to know what to say as he looked around at the works artfully displayed on the walls. He felt Nico's hand squeeze his tightly.
The young artist seemed to have been working on a similar theme for the second floor gallery. The style he applied was different from his usual monochrome ones, the work of arts displayed around them were a mix of bright pastel colors and light water paints, giving a few of them a hazy, memory-like feeling. But it wasn't the obvious deviation from his usual style that had Will gaping at Nico's works.
It was the fact that in every painting, whether large or small, had him in them.
"Nico, it's time." Percy had somehow materialized behind them. He ushered Nico to the podium in front and gave Will a wink when the brunet reluctantly untangled their hands. The reporters had already gathered into a small crowd at the base of the podium. Will was well-aware that several people were pointing at him and talking.
"So, yeah, hello, good evening." Nico began to speak into the microphone. Will's attention snapped towards him almost immediately. "Thank you for coming to my first gallery debut, it really means a lot."
There were a few clicks from the cameras as Nico spoke.
"So, right, I'm in front of you here right now to explain to you the title of the main exhibit and to show you the centerpiece of my work." Nico said, not meeting anyone's eyes but seeking out Will's. "As you know, I've been busy over this gallery for the past few months and haven't really been the best sort of brother, friend, or boyfriend. Actually, I might even say, I haven't been the best type of human being lately. I've been neglecting everyone I love for the past few months to the extent that I didn't even notice that someone I love has been running himself dry for the past week."
Will swallowed nervously, eyes looking down in shame at his obvious display of weakness. Hazel patted him on the shoulder.
"I was just- I mean, nothing, nothing could excuse my behavior." Nico said and Will was back to watching him again. "But, this project- it was a chance- my chance to show Wi- to show the person I love how much he means to me, how much I- I appreciate the fact that he's always been there for me."
Will's breath stutters in surprise.
Nico let out a sigh before inhaling deeply, eyes determined. "You've all seen the title of this gallery's centerpiece, which will be uncovered right behind me. Sole Angelo della mia vita is a mixture of my usual monochrome style and the pastel, water-color style I developed for the second floor exhibit." He signaled to Percy and a blond young man with a chin scar to part the curtains. There was an intake of breath from everyone and Will felt light-headed when the sixteen-feet painting behind the podium was finally uncovered.
"L'angelo Sel Sole Della Mia Vita is Italian for 'My Life's Sun Angel'."
In the center of the second-floor exhibit was a sixteen-feet tall and twelve-feet wide painting of two angels. One angel was painted in Nico's usual monochrome style of black, white, gray. He had long dark hair, dark eyes and drooping gray wings. He was dressed in shadows, the cloth of his tunic showed patterns of skulls and darkness was draped over him like a heavy cape as he kneeled on the ground, a heavy blade in hand. The dark angel was looking up in awe at his complete opposite.
The other angel was painted in pastels and water colors, his pale blue eyes twinkled in love and adoration, a hand extended to the dark-angel. His hair was a golden halo around his face, he was dressed in sunlight, the cloth of his tunic had wisps of golden light clinging to him and he had no weapons in any of his hands. He was bathed in pure light which, surprisingly, blended well with the darkness in the background, like yin and yang.
"Thank you, Will Solace." The soft voice brought Will back to the present. Everyone was looking at him now, comparing the likeness of his face to the light angel in the painting. "Thank you for putting up with me, thank you for never giving up on me, thank you for supporting me, for always being there even when I know it mustn't have been easy."
Will blinked rapidly, his mind going back to the lonely dinner, the cold bed, the occasional cold shoulder from Nico. His eyes were burning and he shook his head, feeling light-headed.
A hand on his shoulder and Hazel's worried voice, "Hey, you okay?"
Will nodded hurriedly, carefully shrugging off her hand. "I just-" God, even his voice was shaking. "I need some air." He excused himself, immediately turning around to run down the stairs and then to the entrance. He heard the clicks of cameras following him and the tell-tale sound of Nico rushing down the podium.
Will reached the entrance of the gallery, the guard gave him an odd look but thankfully, ignored him. The blond stepped out into the frigid, cold air.
Will breathed out nervously, his mind was in shambles. He was tired and confused and happy, all at the same time.
Nico painted him, Nico dedicated his center piece, a whole exhibit to him, all this time, Nico was-
"Will." Nico's voice, he was already here. He'd chased him outside. God, what did Nico think about Will running out during his big speech? "Will, I'm sorry, was it too much?"
The blond let out a shaky laugh, running a hand through his hair, "No, it was-" He turned and looked at the brunet who was looking at him uncertainly. "It was amazing, Nico. You're amazing."
Nico hesitated, fidgeting a bit, "But- you're upset about it? Is it because I painted you without permission?"
The taller man shook his head, "God, no- I'm just- I was just a bit overwhelmed. I wasn't-" He ran a hand down his face, "I wasn't expecting this, not at all. Especially what with the last few months-" Will stopped himself from saying anything more, but it was enough for Nico to catch on that something was wrong.
"What do you mean the last few months?" Nico said, stepping forward, dark eyes narrowing. "Does this have anything to do with how tired you've been lately? It's got nothing to do with exams, has it?"
Will looked down, embarrassed, "It's part of it."
"And the other part?"
Will looked at his feet, shifting in discomfort. A hand on his arm made him jump and he looked up to see Nico's concerned face. "I don't-" Will bit his lip before he admitted quietly, "I don't sleep that well when you're not there."
Dark eyes widened. "Will-"
"I've been- I tried a few times, to come home early or get to class late, just to- just so I'd get to see you." Will continued, it was like a dam had broken, his words and insecurities spilling out. "But- it's uh, it's even worse because even when I get to see you, you don't exactly see me. I mean, I get it, you were thinking about the gallery and the exhibition and I was just- uhm, in the way I guess?" He shrugged.
"You're not-"
"I was okay with it. I mean, it wouldn't always be like that and this was important to you. But then Percy started coming over and you'd get lunch with him, you'd come out of your studio to talk with him when you wouldn't even come out to eat even when I beg through the door." Will's breath hitched and his eyes were burning and his hands were shaking from the cold. Absentmindedly he realized he'd forgotten his gloves. "And I know it's stupid and I know you wouldn't- but I was insecure because we haven't been acting like a couple, not really, and I started thinking that maybe you'd rather be with someone who can really understand art and who didn't bother you when you're creating a masterpiece or who could make you laugh even when you're lost in your own head and then the exams were around the corner and I tried to push those thoughts away but they just keep coming and-"
Will let out a shocked breath when something warm suddenly collided with him. He felt warm arms hold on to him tightly and the blond choked, his eyes and throat burning from exhaustion and something else.
"I love you." Nico said firmly, voice muffled from where he buried his face into Will's shoulder. "I know that I don't say it that much and I know I haven't been showing it for the past few months but don't ever think-" The hold around him tightened, "I dedicated everything to you, everything. You're my life's meaning. I do my art because of you. Don't you ever forget that."
Will's shoulders slumped and he closed his, leaning against Nico. "I-" He buried his face in Nico's hair, "I love you too."
Still, Will knew that this wasn't the last time this was going to happen. With his chosen course and profession and Nico becoming more and more popular in the art world, it would only be a matter of time before they went through something like this again. Still, this time, Will wouldn't break down, he'd stay by Nico until he was asked to leave. Because Nico still might, eventually, leave.
As though hearing his thoughts, the brunet pulled back, a frown on his face.
"I don't want you thinking like that again." Nico said to the sniffling blond. His frown deepened when Will looked at him with tired half-lidded blue eyes. The dark-haired young man decided something then and there, blushing as he struggled with something in his pocket. The tips of his ears were red as he finally wrestled out a simple, small box. "I was planning to ask you during dinner after the exhibit but-"
He opened the box.
Will's eyes widened when he took in the simple pair of silver bands in front of him. Nico took one of his shaking hands and placed one of the rings into Will's palm.
"This is it for me too, Will." Nico said softly, his cold breath mixing with Will's exhale of surprise. "I've known for awhile now, probably as long as you or maybe longer, that this is for life." He closed Will's palm over the ring, "And this ring, it's a promise that I won't leave, I will never ever leave. Not unless you want me to leave."
Nico doesn't ask the question, he never asks. He just says what's in it for Will and gives him a choice. The things he chose to give aren't a question, never a question. It's an offer but the answer could still either be a 'yes', 'no', or 'maybe'.
Blue eyes blinked unseeingly at the ring, his grip over it tightened. "It's a promise." He repeated softly.
Nico nodded and a rare, soft smile came over his expression. The smile was more affectionate and fond than the exasperated ones he gave Percy. "A reminder, during the times I'm locked up in the studio or in some inescapable social event," The dark-haired young man rolled his eyes at the last one but then he grew serious again, "I'm always thinking of you Will, when I paint or sketch or draw, I only see you. I love you."
Will blinked and he met Nico's eyes fully. His fog of doubt was dissipating, only leaving behind bone-weary exhaustion and happiness. "Yes."
Dark eyes glittered in the cold night and Nico's hands held both of his, pulling him closer. "It's a yes?"
"Yes." Will nodded with a choked laugh, Nico's hold tightened. "Always."
The two of them closed their eyes, foreheads touching and their respective rings held carefully in their hands.
"Sol mio." Nico whispered, fingers caressing Will's cold hands. "Ti Amo."
Will trembled, leaning forward a bit to kiss Nico softly. "Me too."
Me too.
Later, when the two of them finally got back into the gallery, they were immediately bombarded with questions by the media on the artworks and inspiration of the gallery. Thankfully, the couple was saved by Percy who introduced them to his wife, Annabeth Chase-Jackson, the architect of the building where Nico was hosting his gallery.
Will laughed quietly to himself when Annabeth told them about Percy's abysmal drawing skills, which was why he was an agent instead of an artist like Nico. The blond held tightly to his boyfrie- fiance's hand, their silver rings touching as they glinted in the room's lights.
Nico squeezed back.
* Sol mio =my sun
* Ti amo = I love you
Author's notes: The title of the painting is thanks to carolyne, the other Italian words was basic Italian I learned on my foreign language class.
Comment: Well, that escalated quickly. I was not planning that engagement. Nico surprised me.
