Title: Mourning.

Pairing: HARMONY ALL THE WAY!

Spoilers: mmmmh OoTP if you haven't watched it, shame on you if you haven't ¬¬'

Disclaimer: not mine blah blah blah

Summary: Harry is mourning over Sirius dead not in a very nice way.

A/N: It's been a long LONG time! I wrote this fic like a year ago; don't know why I didn't post it...but yeah. Super kudos to my beta, Dana for helping me out with this old story. You roooock!

A/N2: I had to repost this because I posted the uncorrected file. Therefore you could find a hundred plus one mistakes. Lots of kudos to that one particular reader who told me about them.

Fran

Everybody needs time to mourn, I know that and I understand it. That's why I never bother him, that's why I never asked him any questions, that is why each time Ron told me to leave him alone I did exactly that. It's been a week since Sirius died, a week since we came to that fatal day in which we suffered, fought and came to a tough realization; the Dark Lord was back.

Ever since that tragedy happened he hasn't been himself. He barely gets out of his room, not to mention he hasn't spoken to us at all. I completely understand he's dealing with grief and pain, but I really feel I should somehow be helping him get through this not sitting here complaining how he left us behind, when I know he's dealing with something bigger than all this. He lost someone he truly loved, the closest thing he had to a father.

"Is he still in there?" Ron asks as he arrives at the common room, dropping his school bag and sitting next to me on the couch.

"Yes" I answer flatly. It seems we have come to the same conversation for days now.

Ron looks tired than ever and I know it's not from school work; he's tired of having the same routine over and over again. He's tired of trying to talk some sense into Harry, and tired of fighting against his way of mourning. Most of all, he's tired of arguing with me about his way of mourning. I've explained for days now, he needs time to grief, time to cry and let go, but he doesn't get it, he complains about losing his mate instead.

Frankly I'm tired of thinking how selfish Ron can be sometimes.

"Have you tried talking to him?" he asks. Even though he knows the answer

"Yes I have"

"Did he close the door on your face again?" he's angry; I can feel it in his voice.

"Ron, I told you he needs..."

"Time, I know!" he yells "He's been lock in there for a week Hermione, that can't be any good"

"Have you ever lost somebody, Ron?" I ask him. He's expression changes immediately. He's no longer angry but sad; he almost lost his father if it wasn't for Harry.

"No..." he whispers

"Then you can't possibly know how he feels and you can't possibly understand about grief" I state.

He sighs heavily, looking at his hands somehow desperate for not being able to help his best friend, or even know how to do so.

"He's pushing us away, Hermione" he says sadly. "We are his best friends"

"I know, Ron" I reply "that's why we must give him the time he needs, because we are his best friends"

I hope that can summarize how much I miss him to, because heaven knows I miss him dearly.

We are not the only ones trying to convince him to come down. Dean, being Harry's roommates been talking to him none stop, telling him about quidditch and such, but the only thing he got was a yelling. He stopped talking to him after seeing the angry look on Harry's face; he mentioned he was scared he might actually jinx him. Then Seamus did the same, he talked to him about all sorts of ridiculous stuff just to make him laugh. Again the only thing he got was a screaming Harry and a "leave me alone". Just as Dean, he stopped trying. Even Ron tried to convince him, invited him to play Quidditch but got rejected several times. He did not stop though, he sat on his bed for hours, waiting for Harry to speak to him but he didn't. He kept pushing him none stop for weeks, until he got exhausted of missing lunch for someone who didn't care about him being around.

Can't say I haven't tried either. Even if the boy's room is supposed to be forbidden territory for us, I managed to get in when nobody saw me, and when I knew he was alone. What I saw broke my heart in ten pieces; Harry was sitting by the window, looking outside with an expressionless look on his face. There were no longer tears on his face and his eyes did not shine the same way they used to. He was not the same Harry I care and love.

"Harry" I called his name but got no visible response from him, if he had heard me he was doing a good job ignoring me. "Do you mind if I come in?"

He turns his face towards me, frowning.

"You are not supposed to be here" he speaks, once again turning his face towards the window. Snow was beginning to fall, and reminiscing about those fantastic days in which we enjoyed spending time playing outside, was clear in my brain. I was praying the same images where in his head to.

"I was worried about you" I spoke, closing the door behind me and slowly approaching him.

"So was everybody..." he speaks

"Don't you want to come down to eat something? I bet you're hungry"

"I'm not." he answers harshly

"Harry, I..." I bit my lip containing the tears that were threating to fall in any minute. "I know you're suffering..."

"You don't know" he says, turning his head towards me. His eyes showing anger I never thought I would see in him, at least directly to me. "Stop pretending you know when you DON'T! You don't understand how I feel and you never will!" he yells.

"Then tell me!" I shout back "Talk to me so I can understand, Harry. We are your friends, stop pushing us aside when we can help you"

"I don't want your help. I never asked you for it. Now get the hell out of my room!" he yells cruelly.

I stare at him for a brief second, looking into his eyes for the Harry I knew, but he was gone. Instead there was a bitter, cruel, miserable boy who had no regard for my feelings at all.

I close the door behind him and cry, practically running down to the common room, where Ron and the other where waiting for me. All of them hoping to see Harry walking along with me, but when they saw me crying they understood once again it had not worked.

"What did he do to you?" Ron asked me, concerned.

"Nothing" I wipe away my tears slowly. "I'm fine, Ron"

"Did he yell at you?" He asks angrier at my silence for he knows that's the answer he was looking for. "That's it! I'm gonna kick his ass" He walk pass me towards the stairs but I grab his hand.

"Just leave him alone, Ron"

"He cannot treat you this way, Hermione. It's not right!" he complains

"He's been through a lot; he just lost someone he loves"

"I understand that, I really do. But that's not excuse for him to talk to you like that."

"He just needs time; you'll see he'll be the same Harry we all know in no time."

And now we're back at where we started. A week and no change. I really, truly wonder if he'll ever be the same or if we lost him forever.

TBC