Chapter 1: I Dream of a Meanie
Rory screamed and Lorelai came running.
She burst into the bedroom brandishing a tatted teddy menacingly, well as menacingly as anyone wearing Hello Kitty PJ's and armed with a stuffed toy can be at 3 in the morning,
What's with the screaming she quizzed?
What's with the bear replied Rory?
No fair I asked first said her mother.
Its okay, it was only a bad dream.
A bad dream that made you kick off all your covers Lorelai said as she as remade the bed,
You must tell me all about it.
Hey! Not until you spill the goods on you and Teddy Ruskin there.
Mr Cuddles & I like most of Stars Hollow heard you cry out, she said tucking the bear in beside Rory before slipping into the crowded bed.
We thought there was an intruder and he was going to hug them to death.
Nice save whispered Rory as she nestled closer listening to her mothers heart beat.
You do know you have to tell me all about your nightmare purred Lorelai as she stroked her daughter's hair.
Why?
It's in the "Rules Book".
What "Rules Book"?
The mothers only Rules Book.
I want to see this so called Rules Book.
It's for Mother's Eyes Only.
So I can read it when I have children?
Oh, but you're never going to have any.
Why so?
Ah ha, because that would mean you having sex, and I have a cunning plan to stop you.
Do tell.
First I demonstrate the futility of love with a string of failed relationships.
Not working.
Then, if you do get interested in a boy it's "Get thee to nunnery" time.
You wouldn't know where to find one.
Oh, but I'm sure Mrs Kim has a list for the entire tri state area.
Now make with the dream talk or I start dialling.
Okay, but no mocking.
What, I Lorelai Gilmore mock my daughter's deepest, darkest nightmare, I'm shocked that you would think that.
Let's see, there was a ball.
Was it a beach ball because they're scary when they bounce on you while your working on your tan or lotto balls jumping up and down flaunting their numbers, taunting you about how you're never going to win.
Stop it, what did, I just say about mocking.
Sorry, I'll try harder now please continue.
It was an old fashion dancing type ball, like something out of a Jane Austen novel.
Wow, Merchant Ivory does your dreams, was there a Mr Darcy in it.
Well there was one tall, dark and handsome gentleman who all the ladies seemed to adore.
Were you smitten by him, don't you love the word smitten, did you get to dance with him.
No, I was a maid I only got to watch and serve drinks.
Hey, there is nothing wrong with being a maid, I was one once remember, running about, cleaning up after people making things run smoothly now I'm a manager, running about cleaning up after people making things run smoothly.
Hmmm, So back to this dream Rory.
Well there was lots of flickering lamps, a string quartet that played foxtrots and waltzes for women in beautiful gowns with loads of petticoats to dance too with men in jackets and tight breeches.
Altogether not very scream worthy so far, well at least not a scared type screams.
Dirty mom, no the scary part came later when I followed Mr T.D.H. outside.
My daughter the Bronte stalker, so was there a mad wife in the attic.
Worse he had one of the ladies from the dance up against a tree and he was biting her neck.
Ooow 19th century hickeys, they never mention that on the history channel.
No he was really biting into her neck.
What did you do?
I grabbed him and flung him against a garden wall.
I must remember never to let you catch me necking, not that I get the chance much.
That's when he changed.
Changed?
His eyes turned red, his face went all wrinkly and meanie with sharp teeth.
Then you screamed?
No then I snapped off a branch, stabbed him in the heart and he exploded into a pile of dust.
So he was a vampire?
Guess so.
So if he was dust why did you scream?
It, it was the others.
There were other vampires?
Yes, hundreds they came out of the darkness a great horde trashing, biting and clawing at me. I, I tried to fend them off but there was just too many…..the last thing I remember was screaming as one sunk it's fangs into my throat.
Hey Rory sweetie it's okay, you do know there are not such things as vampires.
Of course I do mum it just… well it just felt so real.
If you want I can get the emergency flashlight and check under the bed?
It wouldn't help it has no batteries.
Didn't we buy some when we got it?
Yes we did but then somebody wanted to know which batteries would last longest in event of an emergency.
That's right the drumming bunny experiment. What ever happened to all our little drumming bunnies they were so cute?
As I recall you took them with you to the Diner, where Luke "accidental" spilt coffee on them.
Ah, the tragedy of wasted coffee. Wait! Luke would have spare batteries or a torch.
No, Mum go to sleep.
But Rory….
No….Sleep.
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