Disclaimer: If I owned 'Fruits Basket', it'd be X-Rated for 'Explicit Yaoi'. Ahem. As such, it is owned by Takaya Natsuki-sensei, who possibly does not give a damn that no infringement is intended by this piece of fanfiction.

Amiss

Precautionary: I've only read the manga and am yet to watch the anime.

Chapter 1

His Secret

"This is your housewarming gift," said Kakeru exuberantly, thrusting two gift-wrapped boxes towards Yuki.

"Housewarming? It's not as if we have moved into a new house, hey!" snapped Yuki, annoyed. However, it wasn't just Kakeru's boisterous manner but the suspicious pink and gold wrap elaborately decorated with red ribbons that irked him. He had seen similar wrapping before – the gift must have been bought from Ayame's store.

"Why don't you open it?" insisted Maki, who had accompanied Kakeru on the visit.

"Ah, okay," said Yuki unwillingly. If the gift was such that it put even Maki into a starry-eyed mode, then it definitely did not bode well for him.

"Let's have dinner first," Machi spoke up suddenly. Apparently, her line of thought had not been much different from Yuki's.

"Oh, no, this will only take a minute, won't it?" insisted Kakeru. "Go on, Yuki. Plus, we're here for the whole week – no hurries about the dinner!"

Yuki sighed and gave up. He handed Machi the gift carrying her name and warily set about opening his own.

"Isn't it perfect, Yun-Yun?"

Yuki had only taken off the lid, but his stomach dropped as he was assaulted with visions of heavy lace, frills and a lot of red – crimson, cherry, cerise and pink. Net stockings and gloves proclaimed themselves as Ayame's own addition to the gift. Yuki crumpled the flowery hand-written note that proclaimed them to be so.

"I can't wait to see Sohma-kun as Prince Charming," declared Maki, hands clasped over her heart and eyes brimming with tears of happiness.

"Lolita," interjected Kakeru, grinning widely.

"Lolita?" fumed Maki, "It was to be Prince Charming! You idiot!"

Kakeru ignored the reproach. "Won't you wear…? Aarghh! You didn't have to hit me so hard! Cruel Yun-Yun!"

"I'm going to hit you to death," yelled Yuki, moving forward to launch another punch. However, this time, Kakeru was ready for him and easily caught his fist before it could connect with his head again.

"It was a joke, a joke, Yun-Yun," laughed Kakeru, pulling Yuki's cheek. "I could not resist."

"I really thought it was Prince Charming," said Maki. "Oh well. Machi-chan! How do you like the Maid Cosplay dress?"

Even though Machi seemed far less discontented with her gift than Yuki, she was not much pleased. It wasn't possible to wear that… thing… was it? Her 'dress' was considerably less voluminous than Yuki's as it was an Adult Maid Cosplay. Machi wordlessly closed the box and couldn't help but blush furiously as her eyes met her boyfriend's.

"Dinner!" she announced loudly before Kakeru could express his sentiments.

The dinner was a quiet affair even with Kakeru's constant chattering and jokes. Soon after, Maki and Machi went off for 'women's talk' and the men remained in the living room with sake and the repeat telecast of yesterday's baseball match.

They had sat silent for a while when Kakeru spoke up.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Eh?"

Kakeru couldn't help but smile as Yuki looked surprised at the sudden question. Did he still believe that he could hide his true emotions from him?

"There's something wrong, isn't there? You and Machi – isn't living together as great an idea as you thought it would be?"

"That's not it!" said Yuki hastily.

"No?"

Kakeru put down his glass of sake and scouted closer to Yuki. "Don't keep it inside your head and worry over things needlessly, stupid! You know you can talk to me whenever you need someone to listen to you, right?"

Yuki turned to him with a grateful smile.

"It's… okay. Things will be okay. Machi and I are two of a kind, aren't we? Therefore…" Yuki stopped, his smile faltering.

"Yun-Yun!" Even though Kakeru used his nickname, there was no sign of joviality in his voice.

"I… I can't seem to understand Machi as well as I did before. We… don't really talk much – didn't really talk much before, either, you know. But, well, somehow, it feels as if we're being driven apart now because of it."

"Lack of communication?"

"It was never a problem! I've never thought of it as a problem! We mostly only talk about trivial things… but we know that we love each other very much without mentioning it a lot. I've never really thought of these things before. Now… now it feels as if… as if, maybe, we don't really love each other as much as I thought – there's this… distance…"

Yuki sighed and bowed down his head.

"I don't know what I'm feeling – or thinking anymore. Kakeru, I don't know what to do."

Kakeru's face was strangely hard. "Did you ask her to move in with you to confirm your feelings?"

"N-no… after we moved in together… and…that might have something to do with it… maybe… it's just a phase…."

Yuki's heart was beating fast. It felt as if the secret that had been chained down in the deepest cave of his heart was struggling to escape.

"If that is so," replied Kakeru, "you don't need to worry about the strength of her feelings for you. I've never seen Machi so happy before. She's even more in love with you now. I can tell."

Yuki kept staring at the floor, trying to compose himself.

"Or is it that you doubt your own feelings, Yuki?"

"WHAT? Of course, not… I…"

"Yuki, look up at me!"

Yuki ignored the command and stood up. "Sorry to bother you about this – it's nothing. Nothing. All couples have their own troubles…"

"YUKI!"

Yuki's heart missed a beat as Kakeru yelled at him. He folded his hands and clutched his sleeves in fear. Kakeru had never called out his name with such anger.

"Look at me, Yuki, and tell me what's really on your mind. Machi is my sister. I won't forgive you if you deliberately hurt her. But you are my friend, and I am worried about you, too."

Yuki shivered as Kakeru grasped his shoulder.

"It's nothing. Nothing," he said weakly, and shrugging off Kakeru's hand, he raced out of the apartment.

Yuki picked up the can of beer from the vending machine and held it between his hands. It felt pleasantly cool on this warm night. It was the middle of May and despite beginning somewhat cloudy, since it hadn't rained for a while, the nights were sultry.

As he approached the park near his apartment, he wished that he hadn't run off the way he had. It made him look conspicuously guilty. And it was no secret how persistent Kakeru could be where his sister's happiness was concerned.

What was he thinking right now? He knew that there had been no fights between them. They weren't the sort of couple who… fought. Yuki felt weariness crawl upon him as he thought about the matter. Since when had the mere mention of his relationship with Machi become so tiring? Since when had he started wondering if he was really in love with Machi? Were they really in love or were they merely kindred spirits who were left alone among people they could not identify with or understand?

Yuki could not answer any of those questions. The time when he first realised that such questions, in fact, existed, he had already committed an awful mistake – he had betrayed Machi.

Warm smell of roses drifted along with the slow wind. It was oppressive – surreal, just like everything had been a fortnight ago when he had gone drinking with Haru. Even now, he wasn't sure who had initiated the first kiss, but that didn't matter anymore. It was really a small thing, on retrospect, because they had not stopped there and gone the whole way. The following morning, he had woken up alone in a room above the bar. It had been the loneliest and most painful morning of his life. As he sat gulping down the beer, the mere memory made him feel faint.

He had not contacted Haru after the incident and the latter's response had been the same. His guilt had hastened his decision to move in with Machi. However, he had resisted the impulse to change his phone number and email ID. It wasn't as if Haru would have no way of contacting him if he wanted to do so. Moreover, some part of him actually wanted to see Haru again. It was that part that troubled him more than anything else.

Sometimes, he wondered if Machi suspected anything. Even a small change in her mannerisms would have his heart thumping wildly. It had almost turned into a habit now. But it was obvious that she had no such qualms. She won't, thought Haru with strange sadness, she won't.

The sound of his phone ringing shook him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, I just went around to the convenience store – I'm on my way back." More lies. "Rin is there? Yeah… oh… I'm coming back…"

Yuki got up and threw the can in the dustbin. He headed home with a steadily rising feeling of presentiment. But he knew, better than most, that he would have to face things if that was to be so, no matter how much he didn't want to. He had made a mistake. In the best interests of everyone concerned, he had tried to hide the mistake. Nevertheless, it didn't change the fact that he had done something wrong. If he had to, he would face the consequences. He wondered if he would be strong enough to face the fact that he had hurt Machi.